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While we all know that relationships are between two individuals, it is imperative to consider the role of friend groups as well. Relationships will be made much tougher if the friends of both parties do not accept the relationship.
Recently, I've gotten interested in this one girl. She's really (insert nice word here). But the biggest issue I have in going for the relationship is that her friend group is completely different. I'm a senior and she's a sophomore so I pretty much know none of her friends. On top of that, she hangs out with a lot of fobs and I also know none of them either. I'm really hesitant about pursuing this relationship because of how awkward it will be when I have to hang out with her friends.
I know that quite a few number of people here will argue that "who gives a fck, do what you want." But, that is easier said than done. Yeah. ambivalence at its best.
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United States7488 Posts
Just have her hang out mostly with your friends?
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When dealing with social circles you can either become attractive enough to ALL her girlfriends, thus they accept you.You must be or appear to be sincere to all her friends.
There are a few possibilities when her social circle sees you...
"This guy is bad news/he is not attractive enough for her"
"This guy is alright, every time we see him we see him as potential for her"(You are termed "that guy")
"This guy is dreamy, blablabla is so lucky to have this guy"
For the 3rd possibility you can tell that they think of you in a good way when they also appear to get to know you better. Girls are selfish and will do things to "filter" you to their friend, but really they just want you for themselves. If you are the 2nd possibility, every time they see you, they will either ignore you or leave you two alone. If it is the 3rd possibility, they will always be around protecting her.
So basically I'm just saying best choice for you is to befriend everyone at the same time, let everyone see you are attractive enough. Don't be "that guy" that just happens to be at every party and always goes straight for your target, you gotta learn to engage the group too. Just do small things like ask her how she meets her friends, or if they went to school together, ask who is her best friend, and at the same time pay most attention to her.
If you end up being together, you won't be hanging out with her friends in the beginning of the relationship.
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Just be nice to her friends. In a situation like this. Class is way more important than money, looks blah blah blah.
Just be a nice guy. Don't bad mouth any of her friends in front of her.
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On September 12 2008 17:23 terranmetal wrote:
When dealing with social circles you can either become attractive enough to ALL her girlfriends, thus they accept you.You must be or appear to be sincere to all her friends.
There are a few possibilities when her social circle sees you...
"This guy is bad news/he is not attractive enough for her"
"This guy is alright, every time we see him we see him as potential for her"(You are termed "that guy")
"This guy is dreamy, blablabla is so lucky to have this guy"
For the 3rd possibility you can tell that they think of you in a good way when they also appear to get to know you better. Girls are selfish and will do things to "filter" you to their friend, but really they just want you for themselves. If you are the 2nd possibility, every time they see you, they will either ignore you or leave you two alone. If it is the 3rd possibility, they will always be around protecting her.
So basically I'm just saying best choice for you is to befriend everyone at the same time, let everyone see you are attractive enough. Don't be "that guy" that just happens to be at every party and always goes straight for your target, you gotta learn to engage the group too. Just do small things like ask her how she meets her friends, or if they went to school together, ask who is her best friend, and at the same time pay most attention to her.
If you end up being together, you won't be hanging out with her friends in the beginning of the relationship.
what if she has mostly guy friends?
otherwise this seems to work.
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you play starcraft
fuck, just talk to the fobs about that
i love fobs
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United States22883 Posts
All you've gotta do is zigazig ha.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
ah asian insecurities  I love tl.
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I once dated a girl who moved in a completely social circle than I did. The chemistry between she and I was great, but when we were with her friends I could tell that they did not necessarily care very much for me.
Then one day after hanging out with her friends (an awkward situation, as always), she told me that it was over: "We're just too different people, you and I," which of course wasn't really true, only that she was struggling to maintain the identity she had cultivated among her friends.
Moral of the story: win over a girl's friends or you'll be in the dog house. Period.
Edit: The same should be said of her family, etc.
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If you go out with her or are really friendly, most likely they all like you, but if you break up, you're scrwed
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On September 13 2008 02:29 {88}iNcontroL wrote:ah asian insecurities I love tl.
The show is great from up here on the white pedestal.
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lol this is a non-issue. Grow up dude.
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man this is all wrong, whenever I date I keep shit separate. obviously just be nice to her and her friends when they are around and such, but you don't need to interact with them to win her. I have a rule that keeps my relationships separate from friends and family and thus far I've run into very few problems. Don't get me wrong they'll complain sometimes but if you just explain that it is how you are they get over it if they like you.
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EPT
