EPTGuys, I'm an ice fairy. I didn't want to say anything, but there you go. I flutter about sprinkling icy dust everywhere with my crystal shard wand.
I know I've acted weird in the past, but I'm not just saying this to have an excuse. I want to come clean for you guys. For that reason, I will tell you the story of my life, right from the beginning.
I was born about 17 years ago, on a snowy night, to a modest but loving ice fairy familly. In my youth, I played with other young ice fairies, enjoyed christmas, wanted a dog, and was anxious to start ice fairy school. To me, it sounded like the most magical place. All kinds of ice fairies my age, boys and girls, gathered together for the sole purpose of going on magic schoolbus rides and having fun.
When I finally grew my wings, I was allowed to start going to ice fairy kindergarden. A few weeks before the ice fairy semester started, I went to a welcoming day with my ice fairy mother. I met some of the other ice fairy kids, as well as my ice fairy teacher, An old ice fairy woman by the name of Nicole. She seemed like a nice ice fairy, and all the young ice fairies had bright ice fairy smiles.
Little did I know, their smiles were icy.
The year started and it was clear something was wrong. Nicole was an icy bitch. She screamed at us and generally yanked our magic wands all the time. Once I tried kicking her in the ice orbs but it turns out she didn't have any. Goes to show if you break peoples balls all the time yours will too.
I was a miserable ice fairy. The other ice fairies weren't all that nice either. They always took the best ice fairy action ice figures, and when one got in trouble they blamed me. Nicole of course sent me to brood on the orange chair for 5 minutes when this happened. The orange chair was where all the bad fairies (and I) went when they did something wrong.
The years passed with ups and downs. I made some nice ice fairy friends, though few of them. It didn't help that I changed ice fairy school very often, so I had to sculpt myself some new friends every year or two. I was a strange ice fairy. I didn't wear the same ice fairy tunics as the other ice fairies. I preferred wearing army clothes. I thought it was real cool! Other then that, I said strange things sometimes. I scared the other ice fairies, they thought I had a bad case of brain freeze.
On the whole though, it wasn't so bad. I was happiest when by myself. I amused myself with imaginary friends, and of course I listened to ice fairy rocknroll. My ice fairy dad had given me a walkman with a few casettes. I'd spend hours on my ice fairy swing listening to Ice temple Pilots and Icegarden.
I did have one problem though. I was addicted to the other ice fairie's attention. I wanted them to laugh at what I said. I wanted them to say how good my stories were, because early in my life I started writing stories. I wanted to be a cool ice fairy, to be accepted. "How wonderful it must be to be accepted by the other ice fairies" I thought. I left it at that for a long time.
One day I made a cool ice fairy friend. He was just like me; crazy, fucked up and scary. We'd talk for hours about things like starcraft. That game was the best, we loved playing pretend about it. I was fenix and him raynor, and all the other ice fairies were angry icedralisks.
We promised we'd be best icefairyfriends forever. Unfortunately, I had to move once again, this time very far, to carnation milk county. For some reason, he got very angry when I told him this. I thought he would be an understanding ice fairy, instead we had an ice duel. I broke his wand and ripped out his left wing. The ice fairy playground supervisor brought me to the pricecipal's office and he phoned my parents.
I didn't care much though, I had discovered something great. I could kick the frosty shit out of other ice fairies. I used this feat at my new school to get myself a large click of ice fairy cronies. They followed me around and did whatever I asked, laughed at whatever joke I said, gave me whatever I demanded. "So this is what it is like to be accepted" I thought. Strangely, I was not satisfied. I missed the challenge of finding friends. I disliked how each one of my followers was the same. Just like with school, acceptance was turning out to be an ice fairy disappointment.
I was starting to be discusted with myself. "Why am I never satisfied?" I thought angrilly. As I started Ice Fairy Junior High, I became moody and often threw ice fairy tantrums. I had given up getting a group of followers, and instead spent all my time alone, doing my best to avoid other ice fairy fuckfaces. Fuck I hated those shitters, those snowy turdwads. Those frostdamned pussies. Why were they so fairy-like? "Fairies are so gay" I said to myself, and I started doing my best to stop being a fairy.
I started to walk instead of floating. I stopped sparkling icy dust. I stopped putting magic enchantments on passing little humans. One time while on tooth fairy duty, instead of placing a quarter by a little boy's pillow, I took a shit and squeezed it under there.
Ice fairy guidance councillors tried speaking to me. They were concerned about me, so they said. "Fuck them all, I hate them fuck fuck" I sweared all the time and listened to linkin park.
After a year of this, I just quit. I just woke up one day and realized that I was an ice fairy, and that was that. No use trying to change what I was. From that day on, I became something different. I became the epitome of positive. On the outside I was still a scary dark fucked up ice fairy, but on the inside, I was sunshine and gumdrops.
I loved all ice fairies. I marvelled at each sunrise, I cherished each snowflake. Everything that happened was for the best. I was so happy that I scared others more then when I snapped at them. I started spamming ^^'s and (>'.')>
on the ice fairy world wide web. I made a website devoted to happiness.
Still, deep deep on the inside. I was unhappy. To tell the truth I missed having ice fairy issues. I actually did have many, I just didn't realize it because of my artificial ice fairy happiness. One day a sneaky little ice fairy by the name of Juan came to me and offered me to "try something."
"Try what?" I asked him. He told me just to try it and that I would like it. "Sure, besides, everything is great!" Those were my last sane thoughts for a long time.
From that moment on I "tried something" Every day. Sometimes several times I day. Soon the novelty wore off, but I kept "trying it" just "to see what it was like." I forgot all about being an ice fairy, (and about not being an ice fairy for that matter.) All I cared about was trying my best, and that was a very bad thing.
I went to ice fairy all night raves and Juan once again appeared, and offered me to "try something BETTER." Well fuck, if it's even BETTER then what I'm trying right now, it must really be worth a try. So I tried it. I tried all kinds of things. Sometimes I tried something special, or something cool, or something funny. Some tries made me sick, others sad, but they all made me forget my (lack of) problems.
I don't really remember what happened after. I guess all those tries messed up my ice fairy mind. Eventually I did restart being an ice fairy. One day I realized what a shithole my ice fairy life had become. I lived alone in a frozen ditch by Love-Sparkle Park. All my ice fairy friends had long since fluttered away, with no intention of coming back. I hadn't been to ice fairy school in santa claus knows how long.
I wanted to find comfort. In something, in someone, in anything really. I found a way. I reached far into my ice fairy memory and remembered. I remembered happy times with my crazy friend, about special beam cannoning imaginary zerglings in hyrule with the easter bunny. I remembered songs I'd listen to, shows I'd watch, games I'd play, people I hung out with. I went into intense ice fairy remembering sessions. It came to a point where it was beyond just remembering. It was ska. My life became divided into to: what was ska, and what was not.
I got myself a job cleaning ice fairy bathrooms and rented an ice fairy two and a half in town. Things seemed to be going great. Every night, I'd rememeber things that were ska. Then I would become very ska. If something was not ska, I stayed away from it.
One day I started becoming sick. I puked honeycombs and shit honey. I pissed cream soda. I was in ice fairy pain. I tried to ignore my problems with ska. I was happy living in my ice fairy past. "Who needs the present when I have the past" I questionned myself.
Eventually I was left with no choice but to return to the place. It was horribly unska there. One month passed on the ice fairy calander before I could leave. I had somewhat learned to deal with unska-ness during my stay.
And then what? No idea. Really, what the hell else do you want me to say? Want me to invent something? How about an interview with teamliquid. I already did that? Damn.
How about this, I'M NOT REALLY AN ICE FAIRY! No I'm not going into denial again, I'm just really not an ice fairy. As a matter of fact, I don't even think ice fairies exist! Once I thought they did. Hell, one of them even came to the local mall every year at christmas. Turns out it was some woman in a costume. Can you believe that!? Why the hell would they lie to me so?..
I feel bad when someone is sad. If someone gives me something and years later I don't have it anymore, I will be fucking sad. After all, this was something they gave ME! Just for me! And I lost it? :|
What is there to do really. HAaaaaaaaaaa, I am very confused right now. PS: Nick c'est des blagues je suis pas un osti de malade
