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On June 04 2019 19:03 Liquid`Ret wrote:
You wouldn't have made it as far as you did if you didn't have quality. Thanks for your dedication and all the work you put into the SC2 scene these past couple of years, hope to still see you around when you're ready.
Hoping your parent will have a good recovery.
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I'm very sad to hear this, but thank you for your honesty. It's not easy to open yourself up to your community like that.
I wish you all the best for your family and your own mental health. You definitely chose to put the right things first.
I also hope you do not see this end of your Starcraft carreer as a failure. From my perspective, it has been a huge success. I know this is hard to see, especially when you suffer from issues with self-confidence, but you've made it! How many people think about becoming professional streamers and casters but you are the first one in a long while to break into the scene and make it all the way to casting premier tournaments. You didn't make it this far because people felt like being generous, if you're selected to cast WCS it is because you have the right skills to do it. I could certainly list many things you brought to the WCS Challenger cast where you complemented your more experienced co-casters and brought things to the table that they did not. Likewise, you mention the support you received from your fellow casters and hope you know that it's not just because they're your friends but because they genuinely believe in your abilities and that your right place is as a caster.
Nevertheless, separating your hobby from your professional life is probably the best decision to handle the issues in your life. Hopefully it does help you to develop a better mental relationship with Starcraft again. I certainly would love to see you involved in some way with NA events in the future again.
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I thought you improved a ton during your time professionally casting. A few days ago I tuned into your stream; you were solocasting an event and I was very impressed by how much better you had gotten.
btw if you are goign to do software engineering, don't be afraid to utilize the big programming thread here: https://tl.net/forum/general/134491-the-big-programming-thread
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Your willingness to acknowledge your lack of confidence issues is the first stepping stone to improved self confidence. There are more steps you'll need to climb. However, step one is complete.
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I enjoyed the casting for the most part. Was it perfect? No not at all but overall i was just happy to have a tournament to watch. I feel like casting is a very tough thing to do....one that I know I would be horrible at. Maybe it wasn't for you feardragon but you had the fortitude to try it and that's the takeaway here. Congrats for realizing what is important in your life and what you want to do / are good at.
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On June 04 2019 15:45 Anc13nt wrote:Show nested quote +On June 04 2019 12:19 Boggyb wrote:
Wow. Feardragon must be salty as hell to drag up some super old criticism and lob it as a bomb on his way out. I would be surprised if anyone were not salty about that.
Sure, but it is unhealthy to be that salty still so longer after the fact. You can also debate whether it is ever healthy to try to get revenge on those you feel have wronged you.
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I commend ANY caster for SC2.
But for you, I commend greatly, cause you've been around for so long, and you are loved. Do not let the trolls get you down.
You down the trolls.
<3
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I am so happy that you don't have to go back to something you hate, that is a relief.
The thing that got lost in communication and surprised me the most in your post is that you are actually passionate about SC2. Your passion I guess got overshadowed by your self doubt, which is really sad. My oranges to your apples: I love skateboarding, I am terrible at it (no, no self confidence issues, objective observation), but when people walk by they cheer me on or start up a conversation with me, I assume because my love for it just shines. So I thought passion always shines through, saddening that it didn't in your case. :-(
I wish you all the best, I hope you really enjoy the opportunities that are left to cast, there shouldn't be pressure so let us bath in your light!
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you discuss self confidence quite a bit.
The "your words don't bug me because I already have a worse opinion of myself" attitude is so obviously unhealthy but only started to backfire because I realized I actually need to develop some self confidence to become a better host and commentator. I realized though that this defense was an all or nothing defense against criticism and I could only mentally tolerate the hate if I had absolutely zero self confidence or a lot of it.
On June 04 2019 02:11 feardragon wrote:
II saw a therapist about this stuff and worked on it a lot throughout last year and this year.
I recommend this book.
https://www.amazon.ca/Raise-Your-Self-Esteem-Action-Oriented-Self-Confidence/dp/0553266462
This is not a book you passively read straight through. It is a work book. Building greater confidence requires new ACTIONS and new BEHAVIOURS. Confidence and Self Esteem is something you build over time. It is the reputation you acquire with yourself.
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feardragon > Rifkin, R talks about his dick all the time and it’s fucking infantile and alienates all nonmale viewers.
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I personally very much enjoyed you as a caster. After reading about more of your journey, I feel inspired by what you've done.
Not many people in life ever set out to do exactly what they want to do, and you did (and you achieved it!) It's amazing to me that you took that big of a pay cut to experience the things you wanted to, bravo. That takes a lot of strength and focus. If you can set your mind to something like that and make it, I imagine you can do just about anything you want.
I hope these posts can shine some light on all the positive impact you've made. You could totally write an esports book 
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The Internet will always find fault in anyone, but here's something I wonder about: Have you tried to pick out the constructive bits out of the hate? It seems to me that what most people don't like about your casting (and this isn't to say that most people don't like your casting) are the puns. Maybe you think your puns are great and maybe you strongly believe that puns should be made on stream, but just by watching the reaction on twitch chat I think it's obvious that many (maybe most) viewers don't think your puns are very good.
p.s
I'm really sorry to hear about your parent's health, man. Full health to your family.
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On June 05 2019 02:15 Jathin wrote:
Good luck with your future endeavors.
You had the great misfortune of being paired with Incontrol as a co-caster. The average age of your audience is ~15, so of course the "feedback" you were getting is that they preferred him over you. Wow, what a great accomplishment to be a group of internet trolls' hero. Must take a lot of skill. At least you tried and failed at something worth trying and failing at.
You'll do better in the real world with a more mature audience.
A bit dickish, but not inaccurate
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
Jathin still mad about the 2v2 — just say something nice to Ravi without being an idiot. 15 year olds being the sc2 demo?? What lol
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dont let haters get you down. keep in mind these people are losers who have never risked anything or put themselves out there. its much easier to be a nobody in your parents basement talking trash online than to make something of yourself
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Bro you will always be a winner, it's all about the struggle and the battle, and the consistency. You were always very nice, polite, and professional. These are highly valuable traits that open doors in life.
Also, do not take at heart when someone barks that there is something you cannot do. You can do anything, if you put in the consistency, day in and day out, relentless work, into it. Hard work makes the difference, that's where your attention should be focused on, instead of the opinion of others.
feardragon = FIGHTERdragon
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feardragon, I believe over the last few years the quality has improved and you've achieved much.
Confidence comes from a wealth of experience being able to trust yourself to deal with anything that happens. Being open to criticism of a constructive nature is fine, but over sensitivity will crucify you. No one is immune to such things.
In regards to family stuff, that blows. I know how that feels. Do what you feel is right for you. Best of luck with whatever you decide.
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EPT
