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[Feardragon] Why I am no longer a full-time commentator -…

Blogs > feardragon
133 CommentsPost a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next All
hsidori
Profile Joined March 2006
United States116 Posts
June 03 2019 20:26 GMT
#21
Ravi, the esports community is lucky to have had people like you. Thanks for sharing your story and your passion throughout the years. Taking the leap you did takes courage-- being vulnerable about it takes even more. From the sidelines, I've always thought you were doing great! Sorry to hear about your family-- best wishes. I hope you remain as kind to yourself as you have been to the community as you build confidence in life.
MagisterTorner
Profile Joined October 2015
Sweden1 Post
June 03 2019 20:49 GMT
#22
I like you, feardragon. And I hope you'll find your way back to the scene some day.
Elmonti
Profile Joined July 2018
Spain299 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-06-03 20:55:38
June 03 2019 20:54 GMT
#23
Some thoughts from a person who doesn't like/dislike you in particular, so maybe my objectivity can help (I'll try to express myself as well as I can, not being english my main language).

1- As someone whose job sometimes includes treating it, F*CK the cancer. Hope all goes well with your family.

2- When I think about you as a caster/host, based on Challenger and WCS events basically, two things come to my mind: the vast amount and honest love you have for Starcraft, and the lack of strong character. In my opinion Incontrol, Nathanias or Zombiegrub are casters with an "aggresive" or pretty forward character when it comes to do their job, and when paired with them, your soft character becomes even more clear.
Also that "soft" sense of humor clashed with theirs, making it sometimes a little uncomfortable to watch you interact with them (I'm not refering to that "bulling" bull**it, I now you're good friends).
You seem like the kind of person I cannot picture in any other attitude than being nice and kind and smiling. And this is not a bad thing in life, but when it comes to being a public figure I think you need to have a stronger character.

3- Proplayers and casters will say that stuff about you, just as people say the same things about them all the time. It sucks but it is the way it is. And here it comes the same thing I mentioned earlier: strong character. I guess when it comes to being a caster/public figure in esports (young internet audience = LOTS of inmature idiots and trolls, even in a "mature" game like SC2) you need to develop a very thick skin. Either you can aproach the "I dont give a fuck" attitude (like Artosis, even the "0 communication" like Tasteless), or just take all that shittalking and try to deal with it in the best way possible (like the vast mayority does, including Incontrol, ZG, Maynarde, etc.).

4- About your self-confidence issues: you said professionals have helped you. I don't think the best way to reinforce this is to expose yourself to thousands of trolls and 13yo-behaviour idiots in Twitch, Reddit, etc. Maybe a good thing to build up that self-esteem is to step away from being a public figure for a while, until you feel more confident about yourself. Anyway, I'm not a psychologist so this is a personal opinion (like all the rest I guess).

Having said all this, I do think you are the most SC2-loving caster in the scene, I do think you have helped the NA scene A LOT, and I hope you find succes/hapiness in whatever you decide to do in the future.
pvsnp
Profile Joined January 2017
7676 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-06-03 21:21:29
June 03 2019 20:55 GMT
#24
On June 04 2019 05:13 Nerchio wrote:
I honestly think software engineering will be better for you, it's hard to do esports for a long time and should be much better for your mental health. If I may ask, what is your specialty in software engineering?


As a fellow software engineer, this. There is a certain skillset required to do software, and it does not have much overlap with the skillset demanded by commentating or esports. And with all due respect to everyone involved with the scene, I personally could never make the transition from software to Starcraft. Not only is it a hugely different environment, the cost-benefit calculation simply doesn't add up. The mentioned 75% pay cut is only the tip of the iceberg; when considering all the benefits, perks, stock options, career growth, etc, it's not even remotely close to pragmatic. Most definitely not while living in SF.

I can deeply empathize with the woes of Bay Area housing. Have you considered moving closer to San Jose? SF prices are straight up ridiculous and many large companies have offices between the two cities. You might be able to work at the same place and just commute from the opposite direction. San Jose prices aren't great, of course, but something in the $1500-2000 range is not uncommon, assuming you have roommates. If you get lucky you might find a place in Sunnyvale or Santa Clara for around the same. I've heard that San Mateo and Redwood City can be reasonable as well. The Bay is a big place.

Best of luck in life and Starcraft.
Denominator of the Universe
TL+ Member
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
June 03 2019 21:15 GMT
#25
Hope your family member makes a recovery and you don't get to stressed out, thanks for the entertainment and what you have done for the scene, wish you well Feardragon!
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
Jatlantis1
Profile Joined January 2019
Australia11 Posts
June 03 2019 21:21 GMT
#26
I have appreciated your passion and everything you have given to the scene, good luck in the future!
yubo56
Profile Joined May 2014
690 Posts
June 03 2019 21:33 GMT
#27
Thanks for everything Feardragon! Could always count on you to be there for commentary for any event, big or small. Hope all goes as well as possible with the family, will blink DT the ladder tonight for you!
Jung Yoon Jong fighting, even after retirement! Feel better soon.
SnowAngel
Profile Joined January 2012
Finland38 Posts
June 03 2019 21:39 GMT
#28
I see myself in you. That same voice telling me everything is my fault. I've had to marginalize sc2 because I couldn't stop hating myself if I lost to a low mmr player. But abrupt endings inspire slow beginnings.
Get in there Ravi.
LaughNgamez
Profile Joined April 2015
Canada525 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-06-03 21:44:59
June 03 2019 21:44 GMT
#29
Your passion is great and fills a much needed spot in the scene. It's always a pleasure tuning into an NA event with you casting it as you really bring knowledge & passion to it. I do hope you return to the scene like before you were fulltime as you contributed tons back then too.
(◕‿◕✿) Hopefully one day a decent caster http://www.youtube.com/LaughNgamez (◠‿◠✿)
DomeGetta
Profile Joined February 2012
480 Posts
June 03 2019 21:45 GMT
#30
Gl hf bro. Im sure it wont make you feel better but there isnt a caster out there.. Tastosis included that idiots havent posted thoughtless negativity about. PS not being an interesting caster doesnt make you not an interesting person bro.. Personally havent seen u cast but its easy to get the literal entire e world turned against you for saying one wrong thing at a big event.. sorry about your fam hope you get some better luck with that.
TheRealNanMan
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States1471 Posts
June 03 2019 21:49 GMT
#31
Ravi I'm sorry to hear about your family I hope everything can start improving on that front.

I've always considered you a friend even though I fell out of the scene for 2 years it was great to come back and hang out and work with you at Cheeseadelphia in December. I hope that we will be able to hang out at more Cheeseadelphia events in the future.

I want you to know that I think you were really brave to try and take the plunge and go full time. Just like you that was always the dream when we started casting back in WoL. I'm sad to hear things didn't work out the way you had hoped and wish you all the best in everything you do in the future <3
Sc2 Caster | Host of Sc2 Up & Coming | The Godfather of Team LXG | Sc2 Historian | Youtube.com/NanMan | Twitch.tv/TheRealNanMan | Twitter.com/TheRealNanMan |
Ignorant prodigy
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States385 Posts
June 03 2019 22:19 GMT
#32
i enjoy your casting. depression is a bastard...pro-tip... use profanity when something upsets you.
try it...

watch..

fuck ptitdrogo
fuck rifkin

see... feels better amiright?


http://www.twitch.tv/ignorantprodigy playing masters random with no hotkeys......big pimpin'
Mahanaim
Profile Joined December 2012
Korea (South)1002 Posts
June 03 2019 22:22 GMT
#33
Best wishes to you, man
Celebrating Starcraft since... a long time ago.
Ty2
Profile Blog Joined March 2013
United States1434 Posts
June 03 2019 22:29 GMT
#34
--- Nuked ---
Writer
StabiloBoss20
Profile Joined July 2015
313 Posts
June 03 2019 22:31 GMT
#35
that's all right. watching a stream is the same as having sex. I don't like this professional stuff too much. if you wanna make a living out of it, you are poised to create new content nonstop. and at one point you are producing videos on youtube, because you have to and not because "wow that cool stuff and it would be fun to make a clip about it". and oftentimes you have seen those videos in a pretty similar fashion before. sometimes i hear on streams "my new video goes up at..." ...I don't blame anyone for that but it feels so unnatural... like a routine. i really prefer those streamers, who are only doing it for fun. they don't care to much about numbers and just do what they think is fun.

and i want my girls to hop on cause they wanna have fun... not to earn money and do their business stuff. so do your fulltime job and if you find the time stream a bit. i will be there!
[F_]aths
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Germany3947 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-06-03 22:39:27
June 03 2019 22:33 GMT
#36
feardragon might not be the top SC2 caster, but I don't even always want the top casters. SC2 should cover a large field, of players, of casters. I like feardragon not overhyping matches. Insteading showing how he cares about the game, and players.

About the criticism, I remember Tastosis got a lot. Sometimes, there were some valid points I think, but I saw a lot of uninformed, over-the-top critique, sometimes even today. It took years or the casting archon's omnipresence to cement the current standing of being generally accepted as good.

Players are not always known for being well spoken. Drogo's comment is probably meant as hyperbole, written in an angry state. Maybe it is also a power game, wanting to get more positive recognition from a caster. Or it is just expressing contempt for a non-top caster, again as a kind of power game.

But the player is not who the caster works for. As audience member, I like to have a range of options. This includes feardragon.
You don't choose to play zerg. The zerg choose you.
coursesix
Profile Joined December 2007
United States1 Post
June 03 2019 22:35 GMT
#37
Ravi,
You can have love for a game without it consuming you. What is fortunate for you is that you have an education/career to return to. Many casters/former pros don't have that safety net in case SC2 viewership dries or something bad happens.

We have a lot in common. I am an Indian from the East Coast, and so I do what East Coast Indians do-- medicine. You do what West Coast Indians do-- tech. I value my family above everything else and my parents have had some recent health scares, but nothing on the order of pancreatic CA or whatever your parent has. I love StarCraft, and I watch and play it every day. But at the end of the day, I know it is and always will be solely for recreation, not to make a living. Last year, two pros made more than my salary (Serral and Maru). You should go back to tech and realize that with your additional earning potential, you can either try to achieve FIRE and then play/comment for fun, or you can pursue the standard Indian path (ie, marriage and kids). And if you are planning on staying in the Bay Area long term, I don't think it would be feasible as a full time commentator.

Finally, don't ever mind the haters. They will always be there. And they will always meme, because it's way cooler to meme hate than to meme love. TBH, your casts never once bothered me. [That said, I end up muting 99% of casts, including Tasteosis, since most of the stuff talked about in any cast is garbage that has no relation to the game. I tune in for StarCraft, which I get from the production tab and minimap, not stand up comedy.]

TLDR - I'm sorry for what you are going through, but I agree that taking a break from StarCraft and focusing on family and finding a new job is the right thing to do.
Ximaceo
Profile Joined February 2017
Spain3 Posts
June 03 2019 22:37 GMT
#38
That’s sad to read. My best wishes for you. You rocks!
Pandain
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States12989 Posts
Last Edited: 2019-06-03 22:46:54
June 03 2019 22:46 GMT
#39
Best of luck. This was an awesome experience that I think you will be really proud of later on when (as we all do) you transition into a different life.

Wishing you and your family the best.
LHK
Profile Joined May 2015
204 Posts
June 03 2019 22:47 GMT
#40
just wanted to say i always appreciated what you had to offer to the scene and never had a bad thought about your style or anything. Sad to see you go - hope you can find your happiness.
-Laura
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