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TLDR: Got a new job. There's this cute coworker who's into me. Everyone else in the company also supports us, since we're the only non-ugly singles (there are two other single girls, everyone else is married). But I don't have very strong feelings for her, which means we will probably break up, and that would be a disaster for the company since we work in the same room (but totally different positions). I'm 27 and she's 21, a fresh graduate.
Story time: She invited me to lunch a while ago (which is quite a brave move for an Asian girl). I somehow managed to have a decent conversation, asking about stuff etc. At the end I asked if she were married and she said "no, I don't even have a boyfriend!". After that everyone including her just assumed we were a couple. I, however, felt like we had very little in common, and if I ever thought about her it was mere lust after her body. So I have acted cold toward her since then. She's probably feeling terrible 
But for some reason, I feel frustrated when people talk about her and the guys she works with (she manages teachers, most of whom are male, about 10 years older than her).
People say I'm "good-looking" (sorry for bragging), which makes me think I could have a chance with other girls around the area, which is full of college students. My game is really weak though, as I didn't manage to fuck anyone during college.
There's now an awkward atmosphere at work because of my strange actions, and people have stopped trying to hook us up. I'm pretty sure they have come up with a weird assumption about me, but I don't really know.
 
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On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:Everyone else in the company also supports us, since we're the only non-ugly singles.
i never support an ugly single. we have a political party in canada that favours the creation of special housing projects to keep all the ugly singles from the rest of normal society.
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On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
So I have acted cold toward her since then.
What does this mean for your society? In Bulgaria it would mean not to acknowledge the presence of the other man or a woman, to just move past them and speak only when spoken to in reserved manner and only for work.
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
She's probably feeling terrible
How she feels is not your business, I think. If you have not been needlessly rude to her and have explained that you have no intentions to her, you're clear in my book. It is up to her to deal with her own emotions, as it is in any man.
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
But for some reason, I feel frustrated when people talk about her and the guys she works with (she manages teachers, most of whom are male, about 10 years older than her).
What does this mean, again? Frustrated, as in "I should have at least had sex with her." or "I guess I like her after all and I want to spend time with her."
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
I'm pretty sure they have come up with a weird assumption about me, but I don't really know.
Are you pretty sure or you don't know? It can't be both.
I would say you're just inexperienced with girls and you're confused and unsure how to act around them. Just make sure what your goal is when dealing with them and it should make things a lot easier. Once you know it you can "learn" how to deal appropriately with the situations.
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My replies are in blue.
On October 31 2018 22:45 JoinTheRain wrote:
So I have acted cold toward her since then.
What does this mean for your society? In Bulgaria it would mean not to acknowledge the presence of the other man or a woman, to just move past them and speak only when spoken to in reserved manner and only for work.
Only say a few words when we end up alone, then leave etc.
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
She's probably feeling terrible
How she feels is not your business, I think. If you have not been needlessly rude to her and have explained that you have no intentions to her, you're clear in my book. It is up to her to deal with her own emotions, as it is in any man.
I haven't "explained" anything to anyone. Also she's in the same room as me, can I really not give a shit about how she feels?
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
But for some reason, I feel frustrated when people talk about her and the guys she works with (she manages teachers, most of whom are male, about 10 years older than her).
What does this mean, again? Frustrated, as in "I should have at least had sex with her." or "I guess I like her after all and I want to spend time with her."
Just the "jealousy" feeling when something you "own" might be in someone else's hands.
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
I'm pretty sure they have come up with a weird assumption about me, but I don't really know.
Are you pretty sure or you don't know? It can't be both.
Pretty sure. They were talking about me when I were leaving, a few days ago.
I would say you're just inexperienced with girls and you're confused and unsure how to act around them. Just make sure what your goal is when dealing with them and it should make things a lot easier. Once you know it you can "learn" how to deal appropriately with the situations.
I've been in schools where 80% are girls for 8 years, but never been in a relationship. I guess my goal here should be to get to know more about her and see if we're really compatible.
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You are too serious.
I don't know how casual things can be in your country when it comes to relationships, but you said you missed the fun in college, maybe now is the times.
You shouldn't have gotten into that if it's complicated at work though...
I guess you should forget about her, be nice but in a formal professional way and try to date around the girls nearby.
But maybe you are looking for something more serious?
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On October 31 2018 23:21 Garnet wrote:
I haven't "explained" anything to anyone. Also she's in the same room as me, can I really not give a shit about how she feels?
Oh, it is not about not caring for people. It is more about not feeling responsible for their emotions. I would advice kindness and empathy but it is reasonable to conclude that people are the ones in charge of their emotions.
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
Just the "jealousy" feeling when something you "own" might be in someone else's hands.
Apply simple reason to your care, man. You don't own her or anything for that matter. You are using things and you are in certain relationships with people for the time you're on this Earth, that's all. You are not the master of anyone. Is there then place for your "jealousy" here? Not at all, I hope. Purge that filth from your mind forever.
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
I've been in schools where 80% are girls for 8 years, but never been in a relationship. I guess my goal here should be to get to know more about her and see if we're really compatible.
So what if you have not been? I would not hold it against you. Life is hardly about pleasures and having x sexual encounters by x age or something similar, isn't it?
Having said that, if I was in your place, I would try to meet with girls that are not co-workers. You've seen it yourself - it can and likely will get awkward and complicated if you end up ruining your relationship and yet you continue to work together. Such girls are a no-go for me and this is my bottom line.
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You don't start a blog out with "tl;dr". The TL;DR is you passed up a chance to get laid and now your co-workers think you're gay.
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United States24814 Posts
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
...she's 21, a fresh graduate...
...she manages teachers, most of whom are male, about 10 years older than her...
Does not compute. What did she study? What is her job? Usually, 30 year old teachers are not managed by a 21 fresh graduate of anything.
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On November 01 2018 07:26 ninazerg wrote:
You don't start a blog out with "tl;dr". The TL;DR is you passed up a chance to get laid and now your co-workers think you're gay.
As the self proclaimed number 1 girl blogger i agree with this. You didn't get laid or even attempt to get laid, breakup, get together or frankly do anything.
Edit: deleted last part
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On November 01 2018 09:08 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:
...she's 21, a fresh graduate...
...she manages teachers, most of whom are male, about 10 years older than her...
Does not compute. What did she study? What is her job? Usually, 30 year old teachers are not managed by a 21 fresh graduate of anything.
adding to the "realism" of this awesome blog post is this gem that i quoted in my reply.
On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:Everyone else in the company also supports us, since we're the only non-ugly singles.
ya, ok man.
thanks for the laughs.
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On October 31 2018 21:24 JimmyJRaynor wrote:Show nested quote +On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:Everyone else in the company also supports us, since we're the only non-ugly singles.
i never support an ugly single. we have a political party in canada that favours the creation of special housing projects to keep all the ugly singles from the rest of normal society.
and to think this passes for blog material
get your head out of your ass OP
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You just passed up a solid opportunity to shit where you eat and then give us another girl blog a few months from now telling us how you screwed up at work.
I'm very disappointed
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On November 02 2018 16:49 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On October 31 2018 21:24 JimmyJRaynor wrote:On October 31 2018 21:03 Garnet wrote:Everyone else in the company also supports us, since we're the only non-ugly singles.
i never support an ugly single. we have a political party in canada that favours the creation of special housing projects to keep all the ugly singles from the rest of normal society. and to think this passes for blog material get your head out of your ass OP
I didn't know there was a standard for blog material.
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What if she just wants no-strings-attached sex? Can't just assume every girl wants something serious.
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EPT
