EPT"Fuck." Gary said, sitting up on the hotel bed. "Fucking shit. Fuck. Jesus."
He lit up a cigarette. Sometimes a cigarette is just a cigarette. In this instance, it literally was. Gary isn't gay.
Kate just lay there, staring up at the ceiling next to him. "That was grade-A intercourse." she said, referring to the sex they just had. "We can't keep doing this." she added. Gary nodded ever-so-slightly, puffing away at his cancer-stick. On some level, he knew that cheating on Belinda was morally wrong. Then again, he reasoned, she had cheated on him. Not with another man, or with a woman, or with a hermaphrodite, but with competitive knitting. But no -- he knew that this infidelity was exponentially less-justified than Belinda's pursuit of passion. But was this merely the pursuit of his passion? Or was he just a lowly serf to the Baron of Sexual Desire, and these were flimsy justifications that he made in his own mind? Perhaps it was time to be simply honest: He did not love his wife, but rather, loved Kate. Kate, a woman who he could never be with truly, as she genuinely loved her husband.
Kate's husband, Kenny, was a former NFL player stricken with cancer, who lay in a hospital bed, now weighing an anemic 120 lbs. His only reason for living was his next visit from Kate, when she would come to the hospital with a bowl of her home-cooked raspberry pie. And yes, she served it by the bowl. Being an NFL player, Kenny would always make the same stupid joke every time he ate the pie, saying, "Boy, this really is a super bowl! Get it? Cuz I played footballs." and Kate would cry and laugh every time.
"Goddamn it." Gary thought. "I'm really a bad person. But I have a chance to make it right if I can stop this nuke from getting into the wrong hands. Maybe if there is a God somewhere, he will forgive my sins, including when I decided to use my pistol to personally execute... wait, I told myself I'd never think of that again, so never mind."
"Kate." Gary whispered quietly, because how else do you whisper?
"Yes?" Kate asked, wondering if she would have to turn down Gary's proposal to simultaneously divorce both of their spouses while also simultaneously getting engaged once again.
"Would you like to simultaneously divorce both of our spouses while also simultaneously getting engaged?"
"No, Gary. This is the last time we can do this. I mean it this time."
"You always say that. It hurts so much more every time. But it's time to stop lying to ourselves, Kate! We live in the real goddamn world where shit isn't pretty, and sometimes we have to use our pistol to personally execute a villager because they promised to suck your dick for a Twix Bar, and then you gave it to them and then no dick-sucking. That's the world we have to be in, Kate. We walk in the grey area of life so Dick and Jane can wake up to sunshine and the American Dream every day.
I don't love Belinda, and Kenny's dick doesn't work anymore. I mean, it could if he made a sudden dramatic recovery, but if we're being perfectly honest here, I hope that doesn't happen. I know he has the other half of your 'together forever' heart locket, and..."
"Gary, shut up."
"No, Kate! No!"
"Everything you're saying is stupid. Kenny is going to get better, and his dick is going to work again and I'm just doing this temporarily. I don't love you, Gary. It's just sex, that's ALL. Stop being weird and clingy, you fucking weirdo. And put out that cigarette. It'll give YOU cancer, and then you'll be the one sitting in a hospital. Christ... you whiny cunt."
They just lay quietly for awhile in their Berlin hotel room. Gary decided to finish his cigarette. "I'll get cancer if I want to." he thought to himself. Shortly thereafter, his phone began buzzing. It was 2 a.m. in Berlin-time. The meeting with The Wolf had to take place in total darkness, and the location was an abandoned warehouse in an abandoned rock quarry.
It was time to make that visit.
Gary sprang to his feet and put on his tighty-whitey underwear, then his Armani black pants with a black leather belt, made from a real reptile. The metal buckle was made of aluminum or something probably. Then he put on a white t-shirt, and then put on a collared, button-up dress shirt over that and put on a black tie, and used the over-under method to tie it, then pulled black socks over his feet, and then put on his shiny black expensive Italian shoes made from a real Italian, then put on his black jacket, which had a holster for his shiny steel-body Smith & Wesson 500 Magnum.
Kate sprang to her feet put her white granny-panties, then a strapless leopard-spotted bra made from a real leopard, then pulled on a pair of black panty-hose and then they FUCKING RIPPED LIKE A SON OF A BITCH FUCK SHIT and then she got another pair of black panty-hose and pulled them on, and then she slipped into The Little Black Dress, which was sleeveless, then made her hair look like this + Show Spoiler +
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/iAN8KXW.jpg<br><br>I know this style has a name, I just can't think of it at the moment.)
There was a cab already waiting for them. It was a black Mercedes with the hubcaps painted to look golden. Agent Murphy was waiting for them. "I'll be your driver this evening." He said. "I hear you're about to meet with The Wolf."
"Correct." Kate replied.
"I also would like to reiterate that you are correct." Gary added.
They both got into the vehicle, and Agent Murphy got behind the wheel, with his black leather gloves made from a real animal of some sort, and a raging hard-on from being at the helm of this majestic marvel of European engineering.
Kate and Gary sat passenger in the back. Gary received a text from Liston. "You're about to meet The Wolf. Good luck. Find out what's happening out there. Good luck, Gary. I always loved you like a son.", it read.
Gary texted back, "ok thx".
Then Gary got a text from the President. It read: "Gary, it is I, Brenda Chung, first female President of the United States of America and also first Asian-American President of the United States of America herself, and I would like to say... be careful out there, Gary. We just don't know if we can trust The Wolf yet, but he's been one of our best sources for the last decade. He's extremely careful and precise. He doesn't like small-talk or mistakes. He's a straight-talker who wants answers in 140 characters or less, not including links or image files. Also, Gary, I've been feeling a lot of tension between us, because you don't answer my texts, and I really feel like we should have sex and just kind of 'fuck it out'."
Gary hit "delete" instantly.
Before they knew it, the car stopped in front of the abandoned warehouse. Agent Murphy stepped out and got the door for Gary, but not for Kate. Kate had to get her own door. But it's 2017, and women are empowered and stuff now. But serious, can a girl get a guy to open the door for her? Jesus.
The three of them walked up to the big, rusty, steel door. Gary knocked on the door twice. There was nothing. No reply. "Do we just let ourselves in?" Kate asked.
"I don't know." Agent Murphy replied, feeling his bowels beginning to give out. He ate some week-old lasagna before this job, and now it had reached critical mass in his intestines. He imagined that this was the feeling of a nuclear fallout victim, whose body was bombarded with gamma rays that caused their internal organs to melt into liquid right inside of their own body before dying painfully.
Gary reached for the door, and flung it open to reveal a completely empty warehouse, except there was a random naked man standing there like 100 feet away. He screamed and yelled, "I'm NAKED! WOW!"
"Are you The Wolf?" Gary asked.
"No! I'm NAKED!"
The man covered his private parts with hands and ran off into some shadowy corner to hide. "That was pretty weird." Kate remarked.
Just then, out of the shadows, The Wolf emerged. He was an actual wolf. It wasn't just a code-name, apparently. "Are you The Wolf?" Gary asked stupidly and then The Wolf suddenly lunged forward and sank its teeth into Gary's throat. "OH FUCK!" he screamed as The Wolf clamped its jaws around
The Wolf howled wildly, and lunged at Kate. She reached for her MP15, but it was such a long assault rifle for assaulting people that she wished that she had just had opted for a pistol because such a gun was not designed to be suddenly pulled out of a coat-pocket for close-range combat. The Wolf ate the MP15. It was gone. There was no way for her stop The Wolf's rampage of blood. She knew that this was it. The last moments of her life. She wished with every ounce of her being that she could see Kenny one more time and tell him the truth and apologize for everything selfish she had ever done. But it was too late. The Wolf ate Kate. It didn't even bother to take separate bites. It just put her in his mouth and swallowed her whole.
Just then, Gary's headless body grabbed The Wolf in a body-lock and suplexed the forest creature's physique into the concrete floor, causing The Wolf's mouth to open for a split second in pain. Then Gary's body reached down The Wolf's throat and pulled Kate out and threw her into Agent Murphy's arms.
Kate yelled, "GARY NO!!!"
Agent Murphy shit his pants at that very moment. Not out of fear, but simply because he ate the tainted lasagna, and could no longer hold it in. The smell was horrid.
In a rage, The Wolf ate the rest of Gary, except for Gary's penis and balls, because The Wolf isn't gay and would never put a penis or balls in his mouth. Then, with his mouth covered in blood, The Wolf retreated into the darkness, leaving Kate and Agent Murphy alone. Kate sobbed woefully, knowing that things could have been different if she had just hadn't been so stupid and packed a regular pistol, or even a knife of some sort.
"We need to get the fuck out of here." Murphy warned, adding, "The Wolf might come back. I don't know why we're even here. Why the fuck is an actual wolf a trusted US Intelligence source? This literally makes zero fucking sense."
"Don't you get it!?" Kate yelled. "We were set up!"
"Ohhhh..." Murphy replied, realizing that what Kate said made a lot more sense than the US Intelligence Agencies relying on an undomesticated canine for information concerning human terrorist activities.
Then they got the hell out of there. Still, so many questions lingered, such as: Why? What? How? When?
TO BE CONTINUED...!?
