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Hello,
I have a small problem.
How to convince my parents to let me go to a girl 500km away (~600km from home actually) whom I met on the Internet some time ago and hanged out a lot couple of days ago on Polish Woodstock Festival? I am 19, I am going to Uni this year. I want to see her badly, she wants to see me badly as well.
They barely wanted to let me go to my internet friend of 7 years (who is a goddamn guy who works in IT and has a girlfriend). I can't wait till October for academic year to start and me to live in a dorm.
Any ideas would be great. Thanks in advance.
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United States24803 Posts
While I'm not necessarily saying you should go, I'm wondering how your parents are stopping you. Restraints? Threats? As an adult, your parents can't really directly stop you.
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On August 06 2014 09:27 micronesia wrote:
While I'm not necessarily saying you should go, I'm wondering how your parents are stopping you. Restraints? Threats? As an adult, your parents can't really directly stop you.
The classic "you are our child and you should listen to us that it is a bad idea" is probably brewing, then it will go to "you should never come back to our household" and such. I can't freely travel. I just can't decide one day I'd be cool to visit some city in Poland by hitchkiking. Because I could die on my way there! I tried explaining that it does matter what I do really, if someone feels like cutting my guts they will do it.
I am a reasonable man. There were many fights with my parents in my life, but I'd rather not delve deeper into it. My mom and dad behave like borderline maniacs sometimes, being loving parents one day and people who want to tell how a piece of shit I am (hint: I certainly am not a piece of shit). I never had to courage to really do anything strong. I played the waiting game, but it is choking me. Especially now. I never had any trouble in school, no problem with drugs, fuck, I did not touch alcohol till I was 18 (my choice). They have no trust and I did nothing to break it ever.
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Are you dependent on your parents' financial support to make the trip?
I mean, what is the problem exactly? Your parents can have multiple reasons to not allow contact. It's kind of hard to give advice if the exact issue is unknown.
edit: ok, didnt read above post. nvm
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On August 06 2014 09:44 Yorbon wrote:
Are you dependent on your parents' financial support to make the trip?
I mean, what is the problem exactly? Your parents can have multiple reasons to not allow contact. It's kind of hard to give advice if the exact issue is unknown.
edit: ok, didnt read above post. nvm
I have my own money. They don't have to give me anything for me to go there. I don't have a stable source of money as of yet.
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On August 06 2014 09:38 kushm4sta wrote:
Get a job.
I never thought I would agree with kushm4sta after his opinions on DS9, but he may be on to something.
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do you live with them and they will notice that you are gone
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"Going to crash at johns for a few days mum we got some stuff planned, bye"
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i suggest to get independent as fast as possible as your parents are of the terrible type that want to control you until they die no matter what, even if that means throwing you out and making you homeless or robbing you of a chance to get a university degree. Get out of there quickly!
Or put up with it until you have your degree and then tell them to go fuck themselves, as i did.
Short term....have you thought about lying?
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kitaman27
United States9245 Posts
I don't exactly have any great advice for you Kurumi, but when you said that there was a girl you liked, I couldn't help but think that she must look a bit like this:
![[image loading]](http://gardendesk.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efed40888340133f4a255ef970b-pi)
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On August 06 2014 09:46 Kurumi wrote:Show nested quote +On August 06 2014 09:44 Yorbon wrote:
Are you dependent on your parents' financial support to make the trip?
I mean, what is the problem exactly? Your parents can have multiple reasons to not allow contact. It's kind of hard to give advice if the exact issue is unknown.
edit: ok, didnt read above post. nvm I have my own money. They don't have to give me anything for me to go there. I don't have a stable source of money as of yet.
it doesn't matter if you have enough money to go there, because they still support you financially in a million other ways. So you kind of have to do what they say.
But you should definitely ask them still. You might be surprised at their answer. Don't approach it like a you vs them situation about how much freedom you are allowed. Just tell them how much you like this girl and that you feel you are old enough and responsible enough to go. They married each other so they probably understand what it's like to fall for someone.
What would be their reasoning for not letting you go?
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There may not be an easy solution, and you may have to make a choice. Do you care more about your relationship with her than you do about your relationship with your parents? If so, visit her. If not, don't. Not knowing anything about your family life, this seems like a relatively easy solution to make (don't visit her), but you are the authority on your preferences.
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From my own experience I must say getting into bad terms with your parents is not a good idea. Try to talk with them, give your reasons and ask for theirs, until either you or them realize are wrong. If you ultimately have to act without their approval don't lie to them, you don't need to. Finally maybe if you share your experience with them when you come back they'll be more flexible next time 
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Bring the girl to you with your money! ^^
Like the old proverb
"if Kurumi won't come to the mountain, the mountain must go to Kurumi"
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Thanks for the response guys. Yes, I do plan on getting pretty much independent when the uni starts (I'll live in a dorm, will get a job, the works), so if everything works out fine there should be no problem.
As for the path I've chosen - half life half truth. I am going to visit a friend who lives ~300km from her. I'll dedicate some of time at his place for visiting her if everything works out.
There is absolutely no talking with my mother. My dad, maybe. My mother, no way in hell. Since they talk about their decisions I just can't risk my plan of going to my friend fail.
@kitaman27
I'll plant a seed in your dirt, we'll see how you like it, you ordinary dirt!
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EPT
