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i dont expect anyone to read this or even take notice on this however i've had a really hard time latley and thought i'd type out my thoughts rather than keeping them in.
in november my mum passed away, which left me to fend for me and my younger brother.
up untill now, ive barley mad it through. selling things every week to get by, spending pay check to pay check.
and then today the 22/6/2014 i had a drug addict put a knife to my throat and demand money.
as i know the bloke from papers. and from stories. i knew he was a threat. i had to hand him the money or i was dead.
even the police said to me, i was lucky i didnt refuse.
but after this happened to me, i asked my self. what if? what if i actually got my throat slit, or what if he stabbed me. how would it impact people?
if you read this. and are still reading this. ask yourself this please, what if i got stabbed?
im sitting here numb, not being able to feel anything. as it has happend to me.
and its life changing.
if you did read this thankyou.
other than that. il say it again. this is just my blog. my page. to vent. or to cry. no hate. thankyou
 
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Keep fighting...that's the most important thing. You can make it through this. If you ever need to talk to someone, feel free to hit me up.
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Most of the time, messages on the internet don't mean much. But whatever it's worth now, I will make myself one of the people available to talk to about whatever to help you through this. Hope you recover from what this experience did to you.
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i didnt think i;d get comments on this,
but to you all, im thankful you show your support to another.
it really did help me calm down. and when i saw comments from you's it really lifted my hopes. and denied the negative thoughts.
i know its gonna be a long road back before i can trust the outisde world properly but this is the start.
THANKS.
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your the strongest kid i know  x
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TLADT24920 Posts
rough. I have to agree with the cops. You made the right choice, the money wasn't worth it. Keep your chin up and keep fighting! 
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I can't really pretend to know what it's like to lose a parent, but I hope you make it through. As stupid as it sounds, YOLO. Do what you love. Think about what your mom would want you to do. If you knew that at the end of next week that drug addict was going to slit your throat, how would you spend your time? I think your mom would be her proudest if you did what you loved and tried to make your life the best you possibly could. Even if you think no one will read your blogs, just post them anyway. It's cathartic and hopefully just getting it out there will help you.
You'll make it, I'm sure. Good luck man =)
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this might sound weird, and I am sorry for what happened to you, but those kinds of near death experiences are extremely revealing. By that I mean everything you had could have been gone in an instant, your life over. It just makes you grateful for everything, something that we forget in our everyday lives. I don't know what its like to be close to death, but we can all go at anytime man, there are no guarantees in life, just be thankful for what you have and keep on rollin.
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in a way you did get stabbed
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Hey man, u are already strong to have gone through so far and still breathing. My situation is not as bad as yours but as long as u stay alive and hang in there, someday everythig will be alright. This is just a really big thunderstorm over you now, but there will always be a rainbow after this. And for your case, it will be a really nice rainbow.
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Baa?21243 Posts
Sounds rough man, hang in there and good luck.
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You can't betray your instinct, your body screams wanting to be alive. Your brain instant reaction is to stay alive.
You might think you are having a terrible life and even after repeated AFTERthoughts, maybe you would even think it is a good idea to get stabbed, whatever.
Those thoughts don't and shouldn't matter.
you should just stop over thinking about it because if you really wanted to get stabbed (or didn't mind) and got stabbed, you wouldn't even have these thoughts.
Live strong, rewrite this event as an event that makes you want to live. (you can add that TL helped you of cause)
something that one day you can look back and say "hey, that was damn close and depressing, glad I am over it now"
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My advice is try to not focus on what-ifs, look forward. Try to stay calm and you'll find a way through all this. Good luck!
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
You did the right thing, you got out, and as long as you have your health, every day has some opportunity possibly there. But best of luck and you're doing a great job - just because of your situation, even if it is day to day, it's a great thing you're accomplishing. Best of luck and just get through it.
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On June 23 2014 10:07 biology]major wrote:
this might sound weird, and I am sorry for what happened to you, but those kinds of near death experiences are extremely revealing. By that I mean everything you had could have been gone in an instant, your life over. It just makes you grateful for everything, something that we forget in our everyday lives. I don't know what its like to be close to death, but we can all go at anytime man, there are no guarantees in life, just be thankful for what you have and keep on rollin.
Yeeaaaaaah no.
It's probably generally true, but I've seen someone kill himself a few days after a NDE. I guess it depends on what the experience reveals to you...
Oh and btw OP, this person dying made a very big difference for me, just saying. Stay strong
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I'm lucky enough to have problems that are pretty minor compared to what you're going through, but there's something that I try to keep in mind when things get tough. Every day is a challenge that you must face, and every day that you get through is a challenge that you've overcome. Think of all of the challenges you've overcome and trust that you'll continue to do just that. Sooner or later the days will get easier.
Best of luck and I hope things turn around for you soon.
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EPT
