Diablo 2 Lord Of Destruction Battle Report 12

Emilio and I, eager to cure the corrupted populace of Travincal (by viciously killing them!), set forth into the city.



Not a few minutes after entering were we surrounded by dark-skinned natives, who attempted to show us around their great city.

“Emilio, look, relatives!”



Emilio started ruthlessly slaughtering them.

"Emilio nooo! They’re your family!”



Emilio didn’t mourn for the loss of his family. Rather, fueled by the death of his family (by his own hands, mind you), Emilio only grew stronger.

Despite Emilio's strength in this situation, I could not stand the sight of Emilio slaughtering his own people. I told him I needed some comfort food, and he rushed over to a nearby girl scout to grab some cookies.



Well, it was about that time that I noticed this girl scout that Emilio was buying cookies from was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era. That goddamned Loch-Ness monster had tricked me again!

“Damn you Loch-Ness Monster!” I yelled. Emilio shooed the beast away.

Some of the politicians on the council saw Emilio's mistreatment of the girl scout though, and summoned some fire hydras to teach him a lesson.



Emilio was ready to issue some “delegations” to the politicians after that.



Some of the politicians were afraid to leave the safety of their building at first. Luckily I knew how to solve this problem. I threw some gold on the ground and instantly Ismail Vilehand came running out to grab it. Emilio and I sprung in for the ambush and showed Mr. Vilehand just how vile Emilio's hands were. He didn't last 5 seconds before dropping the flail I needed, which I promptly stashed in my cube.




“We’ve acquired the flail, Emilio!”

I placed the flail within my blender-cube and pressed the mix-chop button.




Ismail also dropped some equipment that fit Emilio quite nicely.


Those other politicians were more reluctant to come out of their building though, so I went in instead and took them out. Oh, and Emilio helped too a little.



Here you see me running for council! Remember guys, vote Epishade 2014!



Surprisingly I could tank quite well against the council members. However, I knew I had to be careful of Flamefinger’s explosive death. Not since the days of Bishibosh have I needed to be more careful of an enemy dying than attacking. I took care of him quickly and rushed back in to take care of the rest.




Icefist was no match for MY FIST!

We had taken down the council, and I could tell Emilio had enjoyed his time spent here. Slaughtering politicians never gets boring! I turned to my partner-in-crime and congratulated him on the victory at hand.

"The only good councilman is a dead councilman." I told Emilio, who nodded. I smashed the compelling orb and a stream of red smog came out and opened up the stairs for me. How nice!





I knew that Emilio and I would have a long journey ahead of us. Not since the days of the last ladder reset have people voluntarily entered...THE DURANCE OF HATE LEVEL 1!!!