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Active: 602 users

Hi everybody, it's been awhile. I need help.

Blogs > Azera
Post a Reply
Azera
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
3800 Posts
May 11 2014 10:30 GMT
#1
I don't know how many of you know me, and I'm sure I don't know many of you anymore. Nowadays I'm just exhausted all the time, physically and mentally. I'm drained. It feels that for the past few months I've been whisked away in a whirlwind, and I'm just going through the motions of line without thinking about what I've been doing. In doing this, by not reflecting upon what I do, everything feels wasted because I haven't been able to grow. Right now, it feels that I neither have the time nor capacity for introspection or self-improvement.

I think the way I behave is off-putting to a few people. I usually come across as aloof and arrogant, and maybe that's because it's who I usually am. I feel like this should worry this more, and spark an urge to change myself, but then I think about the few that are fine with who I am. Do I need to be liked by many?

For the past few months I've felt void of any inspiration to actually do something. There isn't this fancy intrinsic motivation to accomplish, I'm only roused by deadlines and the fear of failure. Isn't there something more than being pushed by the thought of failure? I'm tired. I don't want to stop sleeping at 12 to complete work and waking up at 5 in the morning to go to school. It's boring.

***
Check out some great music made by TLers - http://bit.ly/QXYhdb , by intrigue. http://bit.ly/RTjpOR , by ohsea.toc.
Vo-one
Profile Joined June 2003
Ukraine456 Posts
May 11 2014 11:07 GMT
#2
You should tell these thoughts to fuck off and start to search and explore. Just try arts, music, cooking... A way to try to find yourself is a better way anyway
JohnChoi
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
1773 Posts
May 11 2014 12:16 GMT
#3
i think you need a vacation
itsjustatank
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Hong Kong9153 Posts
May 11 2014 14:10 GMT
#4
C2H5OH
Photographer"nosotros estamos backamos" - setsuko
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
May 11 2014 14:12 GMT
#5
You don't need to be liked by many, but it sure as hell isn't that bad of a thing to have.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
goody153
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
44115 Posts
May 11 2014 15:49 GMT
#6
Looks like you are experiencing the infamous midlife crisis. no ?

I can actually relate on your situation since i have been feeling the same shit this past few months. Just look for something you enjoy and try to relax.
this is a quote
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
May 11 2014 16:23 GMT
#7
Welcome back... are you still in highschool?
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44257 Posts
May 11 2014 16:33 GMT
#8
Hey, welcome back! The best thing you can do is try new things. You'll eventually find something you're passionate about! If you don't know where to start, I recommend trying out an activity or hobby one of your friends loves to do, that way you can learn from him and share the experience!

Good luck
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
May 11 2014 17:34 GMT
#9
Could be that you feel a bit burned out since it seems like you're in a rut? As mentioned, try new things and diversify some more. As for the whole being arrogant part, well, personally, I would just cut down on it a bit. I mean, you don't have to be liked by everyone and cater to everyone either but being less arrogant(or more accommodating) isn't necessarily a bad thing. Best of luck!
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
May 11 2014 17:39 GMT
#10
On May 11 2014 23:10 itsjustatank wrote:
C2H5OH

Hehehe that's one way to fix things

I don't know if going on "retreats" is a common thing in Singapore (I think that's where you're from, right?) but see if you can afford to go on a 3 day one (there might even be free religious retreats). Even if you're not religious, they are good opportunities to relax and think.
bookwyrm
Profile Joined March 2014
United States722 Posts
May 11 2014 17:55 GMT
#11
You need to stop engaging in agonized introspection about how you've lost your ability for introspection and just chill, man.
si hortum in bibliotheca habes, deerit nihil
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
May 11 2014 18:21 GMT
#12
- Go out on the streets and meet random homeless guy.
- Offer him a beer or two in nearby bar; chit-chat about your struggles.
- After you leave the bar offer him a sleepover at your house.
- When he accepts, ask him for a favor. Ask him to punch you as hard as he can.
Destructicon
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
4713 Posts
May 11 2014 18:30 GMT
#13
Hey there. I sounds like you're just burned out in general. The best thing you can do is take a vacation. And I do mean a proper vacation, no bringing your work with you to finish deadlines, while you're on it no more internet, no computer. Best place to do it, the sea side or a quiet forest.

The vacation is mostly for you to relax and recharge your batteries, however it can also help your introspection greatly, because, to be frank it sounds like you are caught up in so much you don't even have time to think.
WriterNever give up, never surrender! https://www.youtube.com/user/DestructiconSC
FalconHoof
Profile Joined December 2012
Canada183 Posts
May 11 2014 19:32 GMT
#14
My 2 cents: a proper diet and regular exercise works wonders to improve a mental state. I struggled with depression and lack of motivation for years and found that I was much much happier and motivated when I adjusted my diet and exercised on a regular basis. Of late Ive been slacking off on both those fronts and I'm noticing a huge difference
Masturbation this good deserves it's own foreplay.
KurtistheTurtle
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States1966 Posts
May 12 2014 03:04 GMT
#15
Before any mental actions will have effect:

1) Proper Sleep
2) Eating that's "not terrible"
3) Exercise -> running, or weightlifting.

This last one, is odd, but works
4) Set a timer on your phone for 5 minutes, and smile. Hold it on your face.

Once those are done,

1) Journal, or plan out your day and muse on why its significant, 1x day
2) Realize the things you can control, and the ones you cant. If you can control, change it. If you can't, well you mine as well have as good of a time doing it as you can.

To be liked by others, you have to do one things:
- Suspend your own personal fears and insecurities. Place others peoples needs at the center of your world and contribute to their lives whenever either neutral or mutual for you to do so. This doesnt mean doing what they like or want, but doing whats in their best interest long-term.

GL!
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears."
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6181 Posts
May 12 2014 16:42 GMT
#16
Missed you Az, you need to come hang out with us again play some SC2 or something.
How is the girl? I miss your girl stories.
Keep safe, ok?
<3
MoonfireSpam
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom1153 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-12 19:39:01
May 12 2014 19:11 GMT
#17
Do something you enjoy for a few days. World will continue without you while you enjoy.
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