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Note: I probably should have written this blog last year. For example, when I say "this year" in the first sentence of the blog, I mean 2013 not 2014. Currently I'm pursuing an accelerated MBA program in accounting and am actively searching for internships/employment. After two semesters here and with the program being only half over, my GPA is on the low side but I can easily bring it up to at least a 3.3. The situation isn't 100% positive but it's looking a lot better than before
I'm going to graduate college this year. But I was supposed to graduate in 2011, it took me 6 years instead of 4. And I'm graduating with a terrible GPA, 2.8 and I don't have any jobs or anything lined up right now. My life just feels so pointless.
My entire time at college has been a disaster. I have social anxiety so it's hard for me to interact with people or ask for help when I need it. I didn't have any friends, I didn't get any internships or job experience. I also completely abused the freedom I had in college compared to high school. In school everything is regimented and they try to make you disciplined by making you go to class and have a structured lifestyle. In college nobody really gives a @#$% because they treat you as an adult and they assume you will take responsibility for your own actions.
As a result I ended up usually never attending class and staying in my room watching porn, playing games, or doing anything except studying. My parents paid most of the undergrad tuition so I don't have any loans to pay back. But I'm not getting a job anytime soon so I would be pretty fucked if they didn't do that.
I failed a ton of classes. First semester wasn't that bad, I failed one class with B's in everything else. But then it got progressively worse. I got an F and all C's the next semester. At this point I probably needed psychological help. I knew I had to buckle down and study but couldn't force myself to do it. Another thing was I had no direction in life. I really did not know what I wanted to major in so I ended up taking a bunch of classes I had no interest in. My dad would even tell me what classes to register for.
After that I failed at least one class every semester. 1 F, 2C's, 1 B. Then an F, a D, a C, and a B. At one point I was on probation and about to be dismissed from college, that was the semester I got 3 F's and a D. That was an all time low for me. I guess you could say at this point I was sort of perversely addicted to failing, it gave me a dangerous adrenaline rush or "high" similar to drugs
That's when I knew I had to turn around. This was also around the time I discovered the professional Starcraft scene in Korea (Go Bisu!!!). Right after that disaster I took a class in the summer and got an A, the first A I had gotten in a long time. That kept me in college for the time being because it brought my cumulative GPA over a 2.0
The two semesters after I was on the Dean's list, with 3 B+'s and an A in each. The next summer I took a class and got an A again. My parents were happy I'd turned myself around. Then I'm not exactly sure what happened, probably a combination of higher level classes getting harder and me losing focus/getting lazier, as my grades dropped slightly. Not as badly as before though. After that 3 B+'s and a B. Then 2 B+'s and 2 B's. Then a C (tough class), 2 B's and a B+.
The final semester (this one right now) I only need 2 more classes to graduate, but my GPA is an abysmal 2.8. The classes I'm taking right now are extremely tough and I'd be happy to get C's in both. I managed to turn myself around, but it took me 6 years instead of 4, wasted more of my parents' money, and I don't have any job prospects lined up. Since I can't get any jobs I've been applying to graduate school hoping I can at least find something to do to get my life back on track.
I don't really know why I'm typing this, maybe looking for some motivation. I will say one thing though, it may be cliche but time flies. If you don't look where you're going you're not going to get anywhere at all. That's what happened to me. I couldn't find myself or know who I was.
Then reality slaps you real hard in the face. My major was economics but to be sure I wish I could have done something else that has more demand like engineering or computer science. Because in the first couple of semesters the only classes I did well in were math (calc 1/2...3 was tough). Sure I failed the programming class but I would've passed if I took it again. And I did fail biology but I almost got an A in astronomy. I do really like science. Truth be told, no matter how much of a jerk or badass I tried to act in the early years of college, I really do feel that I am a nerd at heart (I mean I like e-sports and chess!!!). I just wish I couldn't embraced that more and been comfortable in my own skin rather than trying to be someone I'm not.
Thanks for reading
  
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Hey, at least you graduated. You could be working two dead-end jobs for minimum wage for 10 years in hope to save up to even have the chance to go back. You could be 55 and realizing you aren't going to have enough money for retirement and taking out huge loans to pay for an engineering degree. Things could be a lot worse. But yeah, it's good to have goals.
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My original major was economics. But no matter how much I learned and studied, I couldn't envision what my actual career would be. Every economics related career seemed horrible to me. I started failing classes too and even dropped out.
A few years later, after working some really shitty jobs, I realized it's never too late to get your act together. I went back to school and changed my degree to computer science.
Things always look horrible and unrecoverable in the moment... but life is long, there is time to make mistakes, to change your mind, to turn things around. I disagree with you that life is short, it only seems that way because everyone around you treats life like a race. The real goal is to stop defining your life by your career or how much money you make. Completely put that shit out of your mind. Careers and money are purely to keep your belly full. How many people on their death bed are going to say "if only my GPA were higher in college!" Most of them say "I wish I didn't work so hard, I wish I spent more time with family and friends." That's what's important, even for people with social anxiety.
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hows that a big deal?
is it in the us?
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On January 25 2014 03:25 teddyoojo wrote:
hows that a big deal?
is it in the us?
well I'm starting to feel pretty old and I really need to get a job
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6 years......that explains a lot.
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I dont think you should be that ashamed because of 6 years, honestly most people(at my UC at least) take 5. I think its okay to take a year or two off to discover yourself, give you motivation to do well in life.
And from what you wrote, it looks like you are starting to find that motivation 
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GL in the future
After two semesters here and with the program being only half over, my GPA is on the low side but I can easily bring it up to at least a 3.3
Yeah maybe it's a good idea to focus on here the here and now rather than doing poorly just to say "oh, well technically I can bring my GPA up." That's probably the attitude that led to you failing so many classes.
BTW I thought it was bad to get an MBA without like 2-6 years of work experience, is this different for you or did you just decide it was better than being unemployed?
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Sounds like youre in a tough spot. While that sucks, and life can be really hard, just know that youre still in a pretty good situation. You can make whatever you want out of your life still, and having a degree is still a good thing regardless of gpa or how long it took you. Good luck mate!
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TLADT24920 Posts
Don't give up. Do your best at these two classes and try to get the highest mark possible then try to apply for graduate school and just apply to any and all jobs within economics since that's what your program was. I wouldn't worry that it took 6 years instead of 4 years. The fact that you got yourself back on track shows that you just need to motivate yourself and can work hard when times call for it. Best of luck!
edit: missed your blue text XD Good stuff, keep it up and work hard at raising your GPA to 3.3!
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It was only one lifetime ago that people didn't have the luxury you do. Your parents would tell you to go to this school to get the job they thought was best for you. Women usually ended up in school teaching cooking, household stuff etc. Going to college was almost unaffordable unless you had rich parents or family.
Not to say that you should just deal with it. Just that the world and humanity is becoming a better version of the old one each year.
My advise would moreover be: don't chase willpower, there is no underlying principle that embodies willpower other than a temporary elevated emotion (which quickly fades away, because emotions come and go), instead build structure in your life do the same positive things each day untill they become a habit.
- Go to bed 15 minutes earlier each day, until you feel you have had enough sleep.
- Excersize each morning, take half an hour at least.
- Look into entrepreneurship, instead of a job, if you feel like the social/work environment will be asking alot for you.
- Find some positive activites that fit your job choice, put energy into things that both make you feel great and build your confidence such as low risk or small amount investing
- Most important of all, absolutely do public speaking as much as possible
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EPT
