EPTGirls, College, Life, WTF - Page 2
| Blogs > AbstractVoid |
|
Ilovesunzandsonz
62 Posts
| ||
|
AbstractVoid
United States127 Posts
On December 09 2013 08:30 Sonzzy wrote: Like someone mentioned before, you seem to think you are in a such a bad situation when it isn't at all. It's very simple to be honest, you either stick your dick in crazy and enjoy it ,or get out now before the crazy gets out of hand. Yeah you guys are right I've decided to just let things happen and not get too involved but still be friends and see how things go. | ||
|
LaNague
Germany9118 Posts
You have to just roll with it and keep it in mind so that you dont up getting hurt. | ||
|
QuanticHawk
United States32026 Posts
On December 09 2013 06:11 AbstractVoid wrote: This makes no sense, nowhere did I mention anything of my political tendencies or anything about my ideology. I'm not even close to republican and not religious in any way. I guess thanks for the snarky comment though you tried... ok then judging a woman for cooking you food the first time you hang out with them and being aware of her sexuality is stupid do you not like food and sex? i dont understand | ||
|
krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
| ||
|
AbstractVoid
United States127 Posts
On December 09 2013 13:56 QuanticHawk wrote: ok then judging a woman for cooking you food the first time you hang out with them and being aware of her sexuality is stupid do you not like food and sex? i dont understand Judging? No you really misunderstand I said I was attributing the awkwardness of the situation in that she had probably never dealt with males in that way before, which was true but I'd hardly call it judging to wonder why a girl would act that way on the first time in meeting a guy. Great that you think being contemplative about a confusing situation is "judging" but it really isn't. I don't care if she does those kind of things, it makes me happy but yet you cannot say that it fits the societal norm that most expect, however this can be a good thing. | ||
|
-Kaiser-
Canada932 Posts
On December 09 2013 05:37 QuanticHawk wrote: what did your buddies at the junior republicans meeting think of this? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA | ||
|
MarlieChurphy
United States2063 Posts
edit-- Op, you seem to be fucking with this girl. Like normally it's the chicks giving mixed signals because they don't have the drive for sex like males do, but still are content with being friends and don't want the guy to go away. When people get mixed signals they go a little crazy. Young inexperienced and sheltered girls are especially susceptible to this me thinks. So what is it. Do you like this girl or not? (Side note, some (most?) girls get extremely horny during their period if you're unaware, that's just 'god's joke'.) If you like her, then date her and fuck her, that's totally NORMAL. If not, tell her in no uncertain terms that your just not into her and give her a parting gift. Joking aside, If do bf/gf and shit goes sour or you figure out somewhere down the line that you guys aren't right for each other then that is a WIN. That is the point of dating, to figure yourself out and what you like so you can eventually ultimately find the right person, you're lottery lucky if she is actually it. As an added bonus, she gets the same, and you both also get to have sex and do other things as a couple. You seem to have this added pressure on yourself with some internal constraints you set via preconceived notions about relationships that are arguably incorrect. You don't have to decide to yourself that you would marry this chick or something before you can proceed into a relationship, calm it down. As far as the flirting with the other guy thing and being flip floppy on the phone/facebook she maybe just trying to react to your mixed signals so she can reduce her own hurt or is attempting to get your attention to see where you stand. Either that, or she is subconsciously sabotaging this before it goes anywhere else because she has issues with emotional intimacy and you might actually be a decent guy instead of the assholes she might normally be attracted to. This is all just speculation based on limited heresay biased information though. You're in college, take some human/sexual psychology classes. Relevant prying: What is your past like? Are your parents together? Good people and jobs? Any cheating, fighting/beating, mental disorders, or any other fucked up shit when you were growing up? What about her past? Ask her some of this stuff. Regardless of that, I'm obviously saying just date her. When the relationship (as most teen/twenties relationships are supposed to) breaks up, don't be so crazy about it. That is also normal. Oh and don't go digging into intimate details of her past relationships or sexual encounters and don't tell her about that shit either. It's fine to know what kind of guys she dated or how the relationships went, but sometimes for some people when they pry too much into the raunchy stuff it can just create a barrier you can't get over. I think you might be this type of guy, no offense and it's not necessarily a bad thing, you just gotta know when to not know. GLHFDD and FAST NYDUS HER MAIN PS- use condoms or get her BC | ||
|
Scarecrow
Korea (South)9172 Posts
On December 09 2013 14:04 krndandaman wrote: i guess if you're shallow you'd just take the food and sex and run with it. some people look for something deeper and the food and sex can be a hinderance sometimes Grow up. Enjoying food and sex doesn't make you 'shallow' and if anything it aids relationship building. Most relationships develop on a solid foundation of shared food, words and bodily fluids. Denying 2 of 3 pleasures doesn't make you a 'deeper' person, just an uptight wanker. On December 09 2013 07:38 husniack wrote: Chinese girls are sex crazed. This I agree. The repression stage following the Rape of Nanking has passed and we've entered a period of exhibitionism. My nomination for dumbest post of the year. Mentioning a horrific historical event as part of an imagined timeline of Chinese sexuality to show that all Chinese girls are now sex crazy exhibitionists. | ||
|
krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
| ||
|
QuanticHawk
United States32026 Posts
On December 09 2013 14:04 krndandaman wrote: i guess if you're shallow you'd just take the food and sex and run with it. some people look for something deeper and the food and sex can be a hinderance sometimes Being weirded out that a college student invited you to her apt, cooked you dinner and then watched tv and talked for hours is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I've ever read on this site. That's an awesome night. You just learned that she's self-sufficient, which is extremely rare for dumb college kids who botch microwave ramen, and you learned about her and her hobbies. How does that make her shallow? And how does it not make the op hypocritcal as hell for judging her and still rolling with it anyway, going up to her apartment on three seperate dates despite finding it not in line with his conservative views on relationships? On December 09 2013 14:16 AbstractVoid wrote: Judging? No you really misunderstand I said I was attributing the awkwardness of the situation in that she had probably never dealt with males in that way before, which was true but I'd hardly call it judging to wonder why a girl would act that way on the first time in meeting a guy. Great that you think being contemplative about a confusing situation is "judging" but it really isn't. I don't care if she does those kind of things, it makes me happy but yet you cannot say that it fits the societal norm that most expect, however this can be a good thing. 'didn’t understand that you don’t invite a guy back to your apartment and cook for him on the first time you meet.' She did something that did not live up to your expectations. That is not contemplative; it is judging. Also judging (and hypocritical): Even if I had to struggle with her being sheltered and taking a long time to initiate anything physical, I’d be okay with that because she seemed like the kind of girl to be worth waiting for. Inviting you up = sheltered. Sheltered is a nice way of saying you are judging her for what she did. You also get weirded out that she kissed you and wanted sex after three dates even though you were worried about struggling with waiting a long time for physical stuff. How is that not totally hypocritical? | ||
|
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
1) OP has self-esteem issues, his new gurl has self-esteem issues. Everyone has them. Fine. 2) OP is judgemental as fuck and dishonest his new gurl isn't. 3) OP is complaining about getting sex after complaining that he can't escalate properly - his new gurl did all the work for him. Move on, she's out of your league. + Show Spoiler + On a more serious note, you both need to figure out your shit if you need to make it work. She needs to get that bullshit-wall of "Oh no mah sexuality is crazy oh no!!!1" punched through (you're not helping) and you need to stop turning into a gigantic doormat asap (...did you really just agree to become more fit, make breakfast, buy her things and spend a lot of time with her JUST TO BE LIKED BY HER?). | ||
|
AbstractVoid
United States127 Posts
On December 10 2013 02:39 r.Evo wrote: Let's sum up: 1) OP has self-esteem issues, his new gurl has self-esteem issues. Everyone has them. Fine. 2) OP is judgemental as fuck and dishonest his new gurl isn't. 3) OP is complaining about getting sex after complaining that he can't escalate properly - his new gurl did all the work for him. Move on, she's out of your league. + Show Spoiler + On a more serious note, you both need to figure out your shit if you need to make it work. She needs to get that bullshit-wall of "Oh no mah sexuality is crazy oh no!!!1" punched through (you're not helping) and you need to stop turning into a gigantic doormat asap (...did you really just agree to become more fit, make breakfast, buy her things and spend a lot of time with her JUST TO BE LIKED BY HER?). No I haven't agreed to shit just to be liked by her. I don't have self-esteem issues I do have issues coming out of a long relationship and probably missing the feeling of having someone around to care about me. I'm not judgmental everyone is trying to say I have conservative views on relationships when really I don't or I wouldn't be even trying to continue this, I haven't judged her at all in fact the opposite I'm trying to help her realize she shouldn't judge herself because she is just human. I don't really have any preconceived notions of how a relationship should progress or how a person should act because I'm not someone who follows a strict ideology and honestly would be more interested in a girl who just acted like herself. She is the one judging herself because of her religious viewpoint thinking that she is doing wrong by straying from the path of a "good girl". I'm not complaining about sex if it was a situation a bit less crazy I'd just take the sex and if she wasn't interested then I'd continue to take it until we move on. I already realized what I need to do I have to be able to be her outlet for releasing her sexuality and make sure I don't get attached when it isn't appropriate, I'll just be her friend and if something sexual occurs I'll go for it and maybe eventually we'll be something more. Basically right now just friends until we learn more about each other and sort everything out, but I'll take the advice given here even if you guys were pretty premature on judging the situation not that I blame you in any way to fully explain myself and my thoughts would have required a much longer post. TLDR: You guys are right, I came to this conclusion already, I should just remain friends, sex if she wants, get to know her more, see how things go Edit: @QuanticHawk really man after reading your post it just seems like you are attributing any kind of thought to being judgment plus I really just don't think you understand either me or the situation in a way to be able to help or pass judgment on me thanks for trying though | ||
|
SpiritoftheTunA
United States20903 Posts
this whole thread seems like you being level-headed albeit kind of tactless (i.e. seemingly judgmental) in your initial description and nobody offering anything significant or interesting in return. i guess i'll do the same to fit in. it sounds like her having a frank conversation with someone she respects regarding the conflict between her religion and sexuality (and her role in romantic relationships) would make her a lot easier to deal with. i dont think she'd ever be right to blame you for pushing her towards resolving her internal conflicts though, so i'd give her some gentle nudges towards having such a conversation. though i mean, if her parents are involved in poisoning her mind and she respects them a lot (which in all likelihood is the exact scenario), it'd probably be really annoying to detox her personally. you'd have to like... make her respect you more than she respects her parents... which would be a dangerous position to put yourself in, the (non-legal) guardian of a not-fully-actualized girl also, this current "just friends" situation doesn't sound stable at all, your relationship is probably going to have some labeling issues because the sex is probably going to recur. that's fine though, the label itself isn't really the issue, the issue is how she'll choose to resolve her issues. | ||
|
AbstractVoid
United States127 Posts
On December 10 2013 03:15 SpiritoftheTunA wrote: i was gonna post a thing about being careful about throwing around the terms "crazy" and "normal" for people and situations and histories, but... i mean it seems that you understand what i'd want to convey, you just still throw around those terms liberally, much to the ire of blogreaders, apparently. this whole thread seems like you being level-headed albeit kind of tactless (i.e. seemingly judgmental) in your initial description and nobody offering anything significant or interesting in return. i guess i'll do the same to fit in. it sounds like her having a frank conversation with someone she respects regarding the conflict between her religion and sexuality (and her role in romantic relationships) would make her a lot easier to deal with. i dont think she'd ever be right to blame you for pushing her towards resolving her internal conflicts though, so i'd give her some gentle nudges towards having such a conversation. though i mean, if her parents are involved in poisoning her mind and she respects them a lot (which in all likelihood is the exact scenario), it'd probably be really annoying to detox her personally. you'd have to like... make her respect you more than she respects her parents... which would be a dangerous position to put yourself in, the (non-legal) guardian of a not-fully-actualized girl also, this current "just friends" situation doesn't sound stable at all, your relationship is probably going to have some labeling issues because the sex is probably going to recur. that's fine though, the label itself isn't really the issue, the issue is how she'll choose to resolve her issues. Yeah thanks man this is actually great advice and kind of what I've been thinking about, I'll have to know more to know if it will ever work and like you say, you can't just change people and relationships should never be started with the intention of changing someone. It probably isn't a stable situation and yeah a lot of arguments have come basically just from trying to define what the hell is going on, I'm trying to give her gentle nudges in the right direction without seeming a bit too controlling or a complete asshole because I don't want to judge her or disrespect her beliefs. Either I succeed (which I made a small victory in making her realize morality is a 3D complex notion instead of 2D right or wrong through using some examples such as Heinz's Dilemma) and she becomes more comfortable with herself and can be happy, or I fail and she decides to be stubborn and continue to hide from the world. I wouldn't continue if I didn't think she was different than how she suggests, she does have the capability to think on a higher level than just following something she doesn't understand blindly and maybe I can help her realize that she has nothing to fear and she's a good person. | ||
|
SpiritoftheTunA
United States20903 Posts
| ||
|
AbstractVoid
United States127 Posts
On December 10 2013 03:42 SpiritoftheTunA wrote: yep sounds good hope everything works well man :D <3 I realize I'm usually self aware I understand when I'm being dumb sometimes you just need someone else to help you realize further and make the right decision. | ||
|
QuanticHawk
United States32026 Posts
On December 10 2013 02:39 r.Evo wrote: Let's sum up: 1) OP has self-esteem issues, his new gurl has self-esteem issues. Everyone has them. Fine. 2) OP is judgemental as fuck and dishonest his new gurl isn't. 3) OP is complaining about getting sex after complaining that he can't escalate properly - his new gurl did all the work for him. Move on, she's out of your league. + Show Spoiler + On a more serious note, you both need to figure out your shit if you need to make it work. She needs to get that bullshit-wall of "Oh no mah sexuality is crazy oh no!!!1" punched through (you're not helping) and you need to stop turning into a gigantic doormat asap (...did you really just agree to become more fit, make breakfast, buy her things and spend a lot of time with her JUST TO BE LIKED BY HER?). This post is spot on Also, being her sexual outlet and friend is called fuck buddy. I'm not sure why you're cool with that even though you wanted to build an emotional connection first because turning physical (whatever that means), but congrats on your first crazy college relationship, op! | ||
|
mizU
United States12125 Posts
girls that want sex must be crazy right? from what it seems like: she wants sex but you don't ??? | ||
|
SpiritoftheTunA
United States20903 Posts
On December 10 2013 05:26 mizU wrote: totally dude girls that want sex must be crazy right? from what it seems like: she wants sex but you don't ??? 0.5/10 reading comprehension gb2dota | ||
| ||
