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Girls, College, Life, WTF

Blogs > AbstractVoid
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AbstractVoid
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States127 Posts
December 08 2013 11:02 GMT
#1
Alright so I haven't made a blog in awhile and since entering college to be honest things have become much different for me. I became a much more confident person, which I absolutely enjoy, yet still I’m the kind of person who enjoys having someone to care about or love. What follows is how my life turned from normal drudgery into the most insane few weeks of my life that still continue...

THIS IS WAY LONGER THAN EXPECTED BUT I HAD TO GET THIS SHIT OFF MY CHEST AND MAYBE IT’LL BE GOOD FOR PEOPLE TO SEE HOW STUPID I’M ACTING ABOUT THIS STUFF

Friends are nice, they can be there for you and provide entertainment, yet they just aren’t the same as having your arms around a loved one and cuddling in bed late at night. This is the kind of situation that I have been seeking for a long time, a loving girl who I can be happy with and make happy.

Maybe a previous blog has mentioned then but going into college I was in a relationship of 2+ years, however it had turned into a long distance situation. I wouldn’t mind this, being a person who values emotional attention far over physical attention such as sex. The problem here is that the girl I was dating no longer made me happy, her future consisted of community college and no clear plan for a job, her looks were below average and her bipolar outbursts were getting on my nerves, I was sick of being treated like crap when I wasn’t even happy.

College only amplified my negative feelings, as I was no longer ever alone. Sure I was in a good college (Madison is pretty cool) taking interesting classes and having plenty of social interaction, but I no longer had any alone time to spend with this girl and only was afraid of being alone, quite fucking silly to put up with not being happy just for some feeling of being wanted.

I knew it would take something quite large for be to able to make the jump to never talk to this girl again to leave completely and break off cleanly, it would take another girl to hold my interest. In my lecture I had noticed a very pretty Asian girl who was always laughing and having a great time, she quickly took my interest. My friend noticed me looking at her and mentioned she was in his discussion section and was a really nice girl and he’d see what he could do in getting me a chance to talk to her. After a week of waiting finally I was able to come to a group study session where she was there and tried to talk, but ultimately felt quite awkward in a group situation and as there were other guys around I just didn’t feel like I could do much.

Fast forward to another week where some studying was done with her, yet still nothing where I’m alone with her and I didn’t think much of it. I finally got the chance to help her with a long lab project, and the other people we studied with were gone so I had about her by myself in the library and tried to flirt and tease her as much as I could utilizing my newfound confidence, and was ultimately surprised that she reacted so well. Previous to this I had never tried to approach girls, especially one who I thought of as this attractive. After a good three hours of work (mainly because we just talked) it was time to wrap up and I quickly scrambled to find some stupid reason to get her number and as we walked outside I just asked her, “Hey let’s study again later you should give me your number so I can organize it.” It came out really awkward yet she was plenty happy to grab my phone and type in her info, I expected to just walk away at this point but she kept talking and asked me to walk with her for a bit.

I gladly obliged this request and we talked about our past experiences in school and a little about how we were frustrated with most of the people we met at college who were only interested in partying and fucking around with no care for their grades. Before I knew it I was at her apartment and she invited me inside and she offered to watch an anime with me because I had mentioned I never watched anime before and she was a big fan. (Samurai Champloo for anyone wondering) It was really quite innocent but I was confused that a girl would invite me into her apartment so quickly, however all we did was talk and she made me dinner and kept insisting that I eat and feel comfortable.

I did feel comfortable oddly, I was not at all used to this kind of thing however and after returning home when she had a church meeting to attend (more on this later) I discussed the incident with my best friend and we agreed to attribute the oddness of the whole situation to her being a sheltered Asian girl and not understanding social norms between male and female.
It made sense, she was an innocent girl who had never dated or loved before and didn’t understand that you don’t invite a guy back to your apartment and cook for him on the first time you meet. However, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wanted this girl, she was pretty, decently intelligent, great personality and a much deeper person than most of the girls I’d talked to so far. Even if I had to struggle with her being sheltered and taking a long time to initiate anything physical, I’d be okay with that because she seemed like the kind of girl to be worth waiting for.

Oh how fucking wrong could I be…but I wouldn’t find this out yet.

We arranged to meet up again after going to dinner with some friends and go watch some more shows in her apartment and chill out. Dinner went well and she kept talking about how excited she was to hang out with me, yet at the last second I was ditched for another male friend who offered to take her to bible study. Naturally I was quite jaded for being ditched, my best friend who was with me asked if I was feeling alright knowing I’d be a bit affected and I said yeah I’m fine. He offered to hang out with me to get my mind off but after spending a few minutes at his room I just wanted to head home and relax. Who do I see walking to my room but her and this annoying ass guy walking right behind me? I tried not to notice but it really began to bother me seeing as they said they were in a rush yet I see them playing around taking their sweet ass time to get there.
Naturally I said something later to her telling her I was a bit hurt that she decided to ditch me on such short notice and even said I would have accompanied her to bible study if she really wanted to go there first. (I’m not religious but I’m pretty tolerant and wouldn’t mind going to a meeting if she really wanted to) She was really sorry she apologized and promised to make it up to me in the near future, so I figured I’d give her another chance.

Finally we were able to meet up and my goal for that night was to initiate some kind of physical contact such as holding her hand or some innocent enough gesture to show that I was interested in her. We watched a movie, had dinner, I helped her put up Christmas lights and then she suggested to build a pillow fort and watch another movie. Sounded like a great innocent idea to me but the pillow fort was a bit crowded so I had to put my arm around her which I was alright with because I figured it’d give me an excuse to initiate some kind of innocent contact. After a few minutes she grabbed my hand and held it and as the show ended she looked straight at me and tried to kiss me.

I was really surprised, I had only kissed one other girl before and I knew her for weeks before I even attempted it. I asked her what she was doing but before I could answer her lips were on mine and we kissed for a solid 10 minutes and things were getting pretty heavy as she asked me to kiss her neck and I rubbed her back. After this happened I had to talk to her and ask what was going on, I mentioned I was really confused because I didn’t really look to be doing anything physical and was really confused. She had a little break down and said she couldn’t help it and she wanted me really badly but was sorry that it was so sudden.

I was hesitant especially since I had only had sex with one girl before and that was a long term relationship and I really didn’t want to mess up my chances with this girl by rushing things, we had a really odd talk about our pasts and found out she has had one previous bf and her wanting physical things was the cause for them breaking up but she felt like she really wanted someone who she could feel safe in allowing herself to be horny. I still wasn’t sure, we played around touching each other and before I knew it we were both naked on her bed yet I didn’t want to take it any further because things were just too weird and I was not prepared at all for this. Now she mentions she is on her period as well but can’t keep her lips off me kissing me all over and honestly I had never had such a hot naked Asian girl begging for me and I couldn’t help but want her. I had never dealt with a girl who craved sex so crazily and it felt amazing to be wanted so badly.

I told her I wanted to wait because she was on her period and I didn’t want her to regret this later but somehow this transitioned to her dry humping my cock for 20 minutes while kissing me before I finally agreed to fuck her. Passionate, amazing, yet messy sex followed and then we had to shower and take off the sheets and I was absolutely thoroughly confused. (honestly period sex is fine but use a towel, we didn’t and the sheets got soaked blood really doesn’t bother me at all but damn you will need a shower afterwards) What the fuck just happened when I just expected to watch a movie with an innocent girl…

By this time it was already late like about 1am and there was no way I could walk all the way home so she asked me to sleep with her and I felt like that’d actually be a great idea. We climbed into bed naked and cuddled and talked all night while trying to figure out what was going on since none of us really understood what to do. It was probably one of the greatest nights I’ve had although, fucking confusing. I loved wrapping myself around her and feeling her warm body against mine and kissing her and sleeping right next to her, I’d never felt so damn happy.

In the morning we showered together again and got ready for class, I walked her there and told her I’d talk to her later and headed home to nap for a bit before my class began. MY MIND = BLOWN
We talked later but largely avoided the subject and I told her I didn’t want to have sex with her again before I found out what I felt about her and how she felt since I’m not someone who is alright with just fucking a girl. During this time I developed feelings for her yet tried to develop some self control and promise myself I would deny her no matter how bad she wanted me the next time we were alone.

I had my chance to be alone with her again and we climbed into bed to take a nap and cuddle after a long day of class, yet somehow suddenly she was no longer tired and was naked begging for me, I told her no I’m not giving in. She tried for quite a long time and I finally compromised and fingered her to satisfy her and be able to talk to her normally again. I told her I wanted the emotional side of her and I was confused by the sex-crazed physical side of her that only I knew about. She said there were two parts of her, the sexual side that nobody besides me knew existed and the goody innocent side of her that she projected to the world.

Now there were probably about a million red flags I could have picked up on before this point, yet I for some reason didn’t care. Somehow I started to care about this girl, I was willing to deal with her issues and even against my better judgment I wanted to make a relationship with this girl work since we made each other so happy and I knew the emotional side would develop naturally even if the physical side was a bit premature.

I realize I’m being naïve and stupid for not just being satisfied with the sex like most guys and trying to pursue something more even with a girl who even self confesses to be crazy and kept saying I deserved better and shouldn’t care about her because she’ll hurt me. Just writing it helps me realize how fucking stupid I am, yet here I am still caring about her.

Another great morning filled with kissing, cuddling etc. yet something changed. Previously in the night while cuddled up in bed she said something that went completely against what she had previously told me. She loved me. She said she had tried to bottle up her feelings and not allow them to escape, yet they did, she cried, she said she loved me. I was happy to know that she cared even if this was moving way too fast, it made it a bit less confusing knowing that she cared.

Everything that happened so far in this relationship was absolutely insane and unexpected and this was as well. We agree that she had until Saturday night (yesterday) to tell me what she wanted, to pursue a relationship or not because things were so confusing and she had to be clear with me. She called at night and crying, told me she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t try a relationship with me
.
I was bothered, going through all this craziness and emotion and then her not even trying to let it develop further. I just hung up. She messaged me on facebook afterwards and tried to explain it further saying that she realized it was going too fast and she was sorry for making it happen like that. She said she doesn’t want to be dating anyone right now and wants to try to control her sexual side and not let it come out again because she thinks it is the right thing to do. (religious reasons)
Naturally we argue and I try to tell her that trying to hide part of herself, especially something physical such as a very large sex drive, isn’t going to work and she’ll just end up exploding like she did with me. I told her I’d be the one who could make sure she was safe in taking care of her needs and I cared about her enough to be patient and help her with her problems.

This seemed to be working but then she kept saying she would be awful for me because she would demand so much, she said she is shallow and would want me to be more fit, buy her dinner all the time, make her breakfast, spend a lot of time with her etc etc. I said I’d love to do those things for her because it’d make me a better person anyway, I’d like to provide and care for a girl and I should get more fit anyway because it’s just a good thing to do for myself. After a bit more arguing she went to sleep and there I was, expecting to get some answers yet now even more confused wondering why I even thought anything after the first night with this girl was a good idea.
I really have no idea what to think now, I already care about her, she would make so ridiculously happy and I could help her too, yet I can’t force her to see that and it’d be a ridiculous struggle to make that happen. It’s probably a stupid idea as well to allow a relationship to move this fast and even if we attempt to be friends going forward until things settle down there is always the chance she will try to get something physical out of me and we’ll still have feelings.

I just wanted a normal girl who I could take things slow with, maybe be friends for a month or two before I felt comfortable in taking it further, yet what I ended up with was a hot Asian nympho that confused me emotionally and made me so irrational in my thoughts and feelings. Why the fuck does life have to be so insane and borderline ridiculous.

If I could get this girl to care about me for the right reasons and calm things down a bit we’d be very happy and be good for each other, she’d motivate me to study, work out, be a good person and gentleman and I’d help provide a sexual outlet and guide her in figuring out how she can reconcile her ideal image with who she actually is.

Note: I tried to leave out most of the sexual details as it’d just be kind of weird. Also I couldn’t mention everything we talked about because it was getting so god damn long

TLDR: In college many changes in myself, broke up with LDR girl who didn’t make me happy, found pretty awesome girl who was very attractive, ends up being crazy nympho who I somehow end up caring about, relationship probably won’t end well yet I’m stupid and can’t just stop caring, things would be great but everything is so complicated and fucked up that if anything works it’ll be a miracle



**
krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
December 08 2013 11:29 GMT
#2
--- Nuked ---
Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
December 08 2013 12:00 GMT
#3
Don't understand the issue, all girls are crazy even though asians are a bit more nympho. Don't go into some stupid provider role and just enjoy having sex with her body. I don't think you honestly believe you're in a difficult situation, you basically want to brag about having sex with young college girls. And you don't even provide the good details. I want my 5 minutes back.
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
ILikeDags
Profile Joined September 2013
United Kingdom30 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-08 13:41:56
December 08 2013 13:40 GMT
#4
Option A- commit, have nympho sex, deal with her craziness, it all ends in a ball of flames from inevitable cheating and heartbreaking.

Option B- commit, have nympho sex, her craziness is too much, you run away.

Option C- take a step back, do what she wants and keep it casual and have crazy nympho sex till she finds her next victim.

i.e. she's a typical uni girl who is 'still young', 'finding herself', 'having fun'... so join her or prepare to be a chump.

Or i'm completely wrong and you end up marrying her xD
[sc1f]eonzerg
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Belgium6580 Posts
December 08 2013 13:41 GMT
#5
On December 08 2013 21:00 Shauni wrote:
Don't understand the issue, all girls are crazy even though asians are a bit more nympho. Don't go into some stupid provider role and just enjoy having sex with her body. I don't think you honestly believe you're in a difficult situation, you basically want to brag about having sex with young college girls. And you don't even provide the good details. I want my 5 minutes back.

jesus.......
MtlGuitarist97
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States1539 Posts
December 08 2013 13:43 GMT
#6
On December 08 2013 22:41 [sc1f]eonzerg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 08 2013 21:00 Shauni wrote:
Don't understand the issue, all girls are crazy even though asians are a bit more nympho. Don't go into some stupid provider role and just enjoy having sex with her body. I don't think you honestly believe you're in a difficult situation, you basically want to brag about having sex with young college girls. And you don't even provide the good details. I want my 5 minutes back.

jesus.......

His name is Shauni, first of all, and second of all if you haven't read his blog I recommend you do so and then you'll understand his post
Kingsky
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Singapore298 Posts
December 08 2013 14:12 GMT
#7
holy fuck i agree with shauni.

WHATS HAPPENING TO ME
Why do people hate the Colossus? Because the Colossus is like banksters from Wall Street: “too big to fail”. - TheDwF
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9172 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-08 14:27:11
December 08 2013 14:12 GMT
#8
On December 08 2013 20:02 AbstractVoid wrote:
naked begging for me, I told her no I’m not giving in. She tried for quite a long time and I finally compromised and fingered her to satisfy her and be able to talk to her normally again.

It must be tough having to finger girls so you can talk to them -.-

Bragging aside, what is your obsession with cock-blocking yourself? She sounds perfect for you cause she actually pushes through your resistance. You two sound like the inverse of a normal guy-girl relationship. Just enjoy it and stop making her feel like a slut for her physical needs. You refer to it like it's a problem, which she really doesn't need with her religion already making her feel like a deviant. It's just sex and the relationship side will develop naturally. Rushing intimacy won't ruin a relationship any more than taking it slow will.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
goody153
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
44122 Posts
December 08 2013 14:28 GMT
#9
fascinating.
this is a quote
goody153
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
44122 Posts
December 08 2013 14:30 GMT
#10
On December 08 2013 22:40 ILikeDags wrote:
Option A- commit, have nympho sex, deal with her craziness, it all ends in a ball of flames from inevitable cheating and heartbreaking.

Option B- commit, have nympho sex, her craziness is too much, you run away.

Option C- take a step back, do what she wants and keep it casual and have crazy nympho sex till she finds her next victim.

i.e. she's a typical uni girl who is 'still young', 'finding herself', 'having fun'... so join her or prepare to be a chump.

Or i'm completely wrong and you end up marrying her xD

fascinating reply.
this is a quote
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-08 15:27:33
December 08 2013 15:06 GMT
#11
First, she's not a nymphomaniac, she's a regular person. It's pretty disgusting that you label a girl with a mental disorder because she desires regular sex (similarly with "bi-polar" with your ex-girlfriend). As you noted, college is a time of personal development, perhaps it would serve you well to be slightly more open-minded.

Second, I would just roll with it. Just keep in mind that, as you mentioned, this probably won't end well if you are already branding her as "crazy".

Edit: On a second read through, she seems like a little much. Ehh, I'd probably try to distance my self, mostly just because this relationship seems like a bit of a one way street. But I will say, it's a pretty special thing to care about someone, and have them care about you in return. It really is one of those things in life, so we sometimes make sacrifices for those we care about. Everyone has rough spots in their lives, having someone there to help you through really makes a difference, maybe she's there now, and when you're there in the future you're going to want someone to count on as well.

I've edited this post so many times... but one last thing, it's perfectly normal for relationships to start centered around sex. You seem to have a lot of pre-conceived notions of society and people that simply aren't true. Few things worth doing in life are simple!
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
Iblis
Profile Joined April 2010
904 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-08 15:25:23
December 08 2013 15:18 GMT
#12
Hum so much to talk about, guess i'll just start by confirming something above.
On December 08 2013 23:12 Scarecrow wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 08 2013 20:02 AbstractVoid wrote:
naked begging for me, I told her no I’m not giving in. She tried for quite a long time and I finally compromised and fingered her to satisfy her and be able to talk to her normally again.


stop making her feel like a slut for her physical needs.


Your perception of individual values, needs, relationships and intimacy is the result of such a stubborn conditioning it's somewhat sad or funny.

You are made to think that you are good and that what you do for her should be good because you care about her and you want to make her stop doing "bad" things. But in reality you are just destroying her sense of self. Like anyone in her religious circle you are making her sexual urges(needs) to appear like something extremely bad that you shouldn't exploit like some "bad guys" may just go for in any girl they can.
The result of that is a huge blow to her confidence every time she feel horny or think about something sexually connoted and make her obsessed every time with what may be a just a temporary thought about something irrelevant.
The facts are clear, sex is not such a high level need, if she doesn't have sex for week she may feel uncomfortable but she'll be okay. If she doesn't eat for a week she'll die(or drink some may survive with drinking for some time). The sooner she and you accept that sexual urges are something entirely normal, common to every human(and even more animals) the sooner she'll have her mind at peace about it and may not obsess over it because every time she gets the sight of a good man and think "I'd totally hit that" she won't need to think about how bad it is but how strongly she still feel it for HOURS, DAYS or WEEKS.

She obviously has self esteem issues and the fact that you are acting as the high social ethical value stereotype is definitely not working well and you are probably making her miserable everytime you say things like that:
she kept saying she would be awful for me because she would demand so much, she said she is shallow and would want me to be more fit, buy her dinner all the time, make her breakfast, spend a lot of time with her etc etc. I said I’d love to do those things for her because it’d make me a better person anyway, I’d like to provide and care for a girl and I should get more fit anyway because it’s just a good thing to do for myself

Making yourself better = demonstrating higher social/ethical value while she goes ever lower in that same value.
You already fucked her while she had her period you can probably be tolerant enough to have a healthy relationship with her . And when I say healthy I don't mean you restricting sex from her making her feel like shit but making her realize she is (damn) fine and once she takes her mind of how bad she is (she probably think she is some kind of perverted freak) she'll have less horny and sexually connoted things in mind most of time, everyone still have some and it's okay.

Then at the end of the day she may be too deeply conditioned she'll associate what she is with pejoratively connoted theme and feel bad but still feel strongly about those things someone can say she likes to do (most people enjoys those activities) and will never be able to see herself fit with a "great" guy. Which may not be the end of day unless you re-evalutate yourself and your white knight representation that make her feel like her entire self may be disgusting (or let's say a low valued girl) because that's actually how you see her maybe without realizing it yourself.
You say you now care for her and have feelings but she is fucked up (I exaggerate as you said the situation is fucked up but it's not that far).

Honestly man either accept her as she is, help her to accept her and drop your misplaced white knight act and see how it works out over time, you'll probably have a lot of fucking to do for a bit but you are a college student take it as a way to get better at fucking stop trying to complicate everything and enjoy (can't believe I am telling someone to try and enjoy sex)
or
If you feel like your values on relationships, sex, intimacy and all that jizz are right and you don't want to reassess them just let her go and don't make her feel miserable in her college years maybe someone will be good for her and there is NOTHING that should make you feel entitled to have to be that guy.
HeeroFX
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States2704 Posts
December 08 2013 16:29 GMT
#13
For some reason.....I don't think this story was real.
danmooj1
Profile Blog Joined November 2004
United States1855 Posts
December 08 2013 16:42 GMT
#14
On December 09 2013 01:29 HeeroFX wrote:
For some reason.....I don't think this story was real.


I agree. Pics or bs.
#1 XellOs fan!
dBdHellRider
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
Sweden63 Posts
December 08 2013 18:39 GMT
#15
Asian girls +1
http://www.twitch.tv/nippletwisterswe
AbstractVoid
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States127 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-08 19:56:57
December 08 2013 19:44 GMT
#16
On December 08 2013 21:00 Shauni wrote:
Don't understand the issue, all girls are crazy even though asians are a bit more nympho. Don't go into some stupid provider role and just enjoy having sex with her body. I don't think you honestly believe you're in a difficult situation, you basically want to brag about having sex with young college girls. And you don't even provide the good details. I want my 5 minutes back.


You act as if it's hard to get sex in college, I wouldn't brag about something so stupid. From reading your blogs you seem to have just as many issues as me...damn


On December 09 2013 00:06 emperorchampion wrote:
First, she's not a nymphomaniac, she's a regular person. It's pretty disgusting that you label a girl with a mental disorder because she desires regular sex (similarly with "bi-polar" with your ex-girlfriend). As you noted, college is a time of personal development, perhaps it would serve you well to be slightly more open-minded.

Second, I would just roll with it. Just keep in mind that, as you mentioned, this probably won't end well if you are already branding her as "crazy".

Edit: On a second read through, she seems like a little much. Ehh, I'd probably try to distance my self, mostly just because this relationship seems like a bit of a one way street. But I will say, it's a pretty special thing to care about someone, and have them care about you in return. It really is one of those things in life, so we sometimes make sacrifices for those we care about. Everyone has rough spots in their lives, having someone there to help you through really makes a difference, maybe she's there now, and when you're there in the future you're going to want someone to count on as well.

I've edited this post so many times... but one last thing, it's perfectly normal for relationships to start centered around sex. You seem to have a lot of pre-conceived notions of society and people that simply aren't true. Few things worth doing in life are simple!


I feel like I need to respond to this because I knew there would be a lot of misconceptions about what I thought because I couldn't explain my thoughts fully.

First I did not label either of these girls, they labeled themselves, I was the one who tried to explain to current girl that she doesn't have a problem, yet she insists she does and must get rid of it. I am open minded I'm the one who said I was willing to deal with her issues even when she tried to convince me they were too much and nobody should try or care about her. I don't really have any pre-conceived notions of people because nobody fits any proposed model completely I take everything in a pragmatic manner. I don't believe that people can be bad or broken or crazy, they just need time to figure themselves out and since this is college and she is coming from a rough childhood where she was sheltered it makes sense the situation she is in. I am surely not the one denying her needs she believes she can't control herself and I didn't think it was wise to give in when she wasn't in the right state of mind.
AbstractVoid
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States127 Posts
December 08 2013 19:53 GMT
#17
On December 09 2013 00:18 Iblis wrote:
Hum so much to talk about, guess i'll just start by confirming something above.
Show nested quote +
On December 08 2013 23:12 Scarecrow wrote:
On December 08 2013 20:02 AbstractVoid wrote:
naked begging for me, I told her no I’m not giving in. She tried for quite a long time and I finally compromised and fingered her to satisfy her and be able to talk to her normally again.


stop making her feel like a slut for her physical needs.


Your perception of individual values, needs, relationships and intimacy is the result of such a stubborn conditioning it's somewhat sad or funny.

You are made to think that you are good and that what you do for her should be good because you care about her and you want to make her stop doing "bad" things. But in reality you are just destroying her sense of self. Like anyone in her religious circle you are making her sexual urges(needs) to appear like something extremely bad that you shouldn't exploit like some "bad guys" may just go for in any girl they can.
The result of that is a huge blow to her confidence every time she feel horny or think about something sexually connoted and make her obsessed every time with what may be a just a temporary thought about something irrelevant.
The facts are clear, sex is not such a high level need, if she doesn't have sex for week she may feel uncomfortable but she'll be okay. If she doesn't eat for a week she'll die(or drink some may survive with drinking for some time). The sooner she and you accept that sexual urges are something entirely normal, common to every human(and even more animals) the sooner she'll have her mind at peace about it and may not obsess over it because every time she gets the sight of a good man and think "I'd totally hit that" she won't need to think about how bad it is but how strongly she still feel it for HOURS, DAYS or WEEKS.

She obviously has self esteem issues and the fact that you are acting as the high social ethical value stereotype is definitely not working well and you are probably making her miserable everytime you say things like that:
Show nested quote +
she kept saying she would be awful for me because she would demand so much, she said she is shallow and would want me to be more fit, buy her dinner all the time, make her breakfast, spend a lot of time with her etc etc. I said I’d love to do those things for her because it’d make me a better person anyway, I’d like to provide and care for a girl and I should get more fit anyway because it’s just a good thing to do for myself

Making yourself better = demonstrating higher social/ethical value while she goes ever lower in that same value.
You already fucked her while she had her period you can probably be tolerant enough to have a healthy relationship with her . And when I say healthy I don't mean you restricting sex from her making her feel like shit but making her realize she is (damn) fine and once she takes her mind of how bad she is (she probably think she is some kind of perverted freak) she'll have less horny and sexually connoted things in mind most of time, everyone still have some and it's okay.

Then at the end of the day she may be too deeply conditioned she'll associate what she is with pejoratively connoted theme and feel bad but still feel strongly about those things someone can say she likes to do (most people enjoys those activities) and will never be able to see herself fit with a "great" guy. Which may not be the end of day unless you re-evalutate yourself and your white knight representation that make her feel like her entire self may be disgusting (or let's say a low valued girl) because that's actually how you see her maybe without realizing it yourself.
You say you now care for her and have feelings but she is fucked up (I exaggerate as you said the situation is fucked up but it's not that far).

Honestly man either accept her as she is, help her to accept her and drop your misplaced white knight act and see how it works out over time, you'll probably have a lot of fucking to do for a bit but you are a college student take it as a way to get better at fucking stop trying to complicate everything and enjoy (can't believe I am telling someone to try and enjoy sex)
or
If you feel like your values on relationships, sex, intimacy and all that jizz are right and you don't want to reassess them just let her go and don't make her feel miserable in her college years maybe someone will be good for her and there is NOTHING that should make you feel entitled to have to be that guy.


I'm not trying to project myself as better than her in any way because I have issues just the same as anyone else. I'm not acting as a white knight and trying to deny her needs and make her feel bad, I do enjoy sex and do want it with her yet it leaves bad taste knowing that she will afterwards think she has done something wrong even though I try to tell her that it is a natural thing to want. As someone outside her religious circle I wanted to show her how silly it was to try to conform completely to unrealistic expectations that I doubt any of them truly follow anyway, yet the constant self doubt shows me she can't really commit to trying to find herself. She knows her value to me I told her I feel so lucky to have such an amazing girl and know what a good person she is and can be, I have not demeaned her in anyway or placed myself above her, quite the opposite actually when she tried to blame herself for seducing me I told her it was my fault too because I allowed it and could have stopped her if I wanted.

I have no problem just being a college student and continuing to fuck her every so often and see what happens but now that feelings are involved and I know so much about how she is acting self-destructively because she feels that the person she really is is wrong bothers me immensely.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32051 Posts
December 08 2013 20:37 GMT
#18
what did your buddies at the junior republicans meeting think of this?
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
AbstractVoid
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States127 Posts
December 08 2013 21:11 GMT
#19
On December 09 2013 05:37 QuanticHawk wrote:
what did your buddies at the junior republicans meeting think of this?


This makes no sense, nowhere did I mention anything of my political tendencies or anything about my ideology. I'm not even close to republican and not religious in any way. I guess thanks for the snarky comment though you tried...
husniack
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
203 Posts
December 08 2013 22:38 GMT
#20
Chinese girls are sex crazed. This I agree. The repression stage following the Rape of Nanking has passed and we've entered a period of exhibitionism.
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