Dream High: Synopsis & Impressions

Episode 1: Mr. Mafia pursues a young girl over her father's debt.

'… she doesn't even consider the possibility, Gershwin, mixing with a common trot song.'
- Shi Hyuk

The episode opens up with an inspirational analogy between the 'break shot' and the education or nurturing of young people – although one that is difficult to take seriously as they keep mentioning balls. Lots of balls. We meet Hye Mi, an arrogant, but very talented girl, who has been accepted to Juilliard (it's famous right?) to train as a classical singer. She's also very pretty – cute as you like, defiant yet vulnerable. Certainly her appearance is quite different from the infamous Miss Korea, 'attack of the clones' brigade (or so I hear). But this wasn't going to be another Vampire Diaries where I was watching just because of a pretty girl – I was here to investigate Korean culture.

We also meet her sidekick, Baek Hee, who for the moment is a shy girl with low self esteem, following Hye Mi around like a sycophant – but soon to become a certified bitch in training after their friendship collapses and becomes a bitter rivalry.

At some point Hye Mi gets ambushed in a parking lot by this rather sinister looking Mafia type and his goons, who want to 'use her body as the mortgage' for her father's debt, whatever that means – probably something unsavoury. Of course, when they finally have her cornered, a guy in a a stylish brown leather jacket, wearing headphones round his neck, comes to the rescue. This is Shi Hyuk (also known as Jin Guk), illegitimate son of a famous politician, expert motorbike rider, part-time philosopher and all around bad-ass. He rescues her, returns her lost wallet, and escapes by engaging in some basic parkour and then a back-flip type move over a wire fence. All very standard.

Unfortunately, the Mafia dude tracks Hye Mi down once again, and it turns out that he's Ma Doo Shik, a nightclub owner slash entrepreneur, and his actual plan for Hye Mi, is to send her to Kirin Arts College, where she is to train as a pop star and the fruits of her eventual success will be used to pay off her debt. Solid plan.

Meanwhile, the chairman of Kirin – a reflective, benevolent type, very much at one with the force – returns from a long trip and takes his rightful place as the mega boss of the school, to the obvious disdain of the principal - second in command – who is clearly a villain, and continues to pursue this role until the very last episode. His motivation is unclear, he is just generally villainous and keen to oppose the well-intentioned efforts of the chairman, and later of teacher Kang.

We come to the audition at Kirin High, where another central character is introduced: Jason, distinguished dancer and Justin Timberlake impersonator, who comes with a variety of cool catchphrases in English, that are intended to be super-hip, but of course sound awkward or even comical.

Anyway, Hye Mi turns the ruthless up to eleven once it becomes clear that her and Baek Hee can't both get through. But the chairman brings in the heavy intellectual guns – and in a move reminiscent of something out of Initial D, where Ryosuke strings together a complex explanation as to why Takumi's one chance to overtake will be on the fourth chicane – this guy ingeniously exposes Hye Mi's weakness, her arrogance, by combining Gershwin with a pop song, which she is unable to identify. This guy is definitely old school. A school so old its probably covered in vines by now. And so Baek Hee is through, and the lovely Hye Mi is ruined. Cue next episode!

Episode 2: Some students collect 1000 brass tacks in a very inefficient manner.

'They're not snots. They're tears.'
- Go Hye Mi

Baek Hee, the victor, takes the opportunity to deliver her dark-as-fuck story to the judges: all about how her mother thinks of her as a defective, low-quality insect beetle thing. This earns her the lucky bird-like amulet from the chairman: an artefact that will have a continued significance as the series progresses.

The next candidate is AWOL in the men's room, and it's up to Shi Hyuk to cover for him by going on a mad 'gangster-like' rampage with a fire extinguisher, that ends with him being escorted our by the muscle. Just in time to give Hye Mi a ride on his shiny motorbike, slipping her past Mafia Doo Shik, who is standing guard at the school gates. They ride off to this scenic lakeside where, in a moment of vulnerability, Hye Mi opens up and sheds a few tears. Shi Hyuk – paragon of chivalry and wearer of big scarves – consoles her in his own inimitable way: by placing a motorbike helmet on her head. But it actually works and is super romantic, and, fuck me if I could ever work that kind of magic with a large plastic helmet. (!!) It works because he is shielding her from the hardships of the world, and there will be more baffling but ultimately charming gestures to come.

Meanwhile, another main character is auditioning. It's Pik Suk, donning the garbs of the Pillsbury Doughboy, or maybe the Michelin Man? Of course her voice is incredibly good, but underneath the mask we find a girl wearing a fat-suit, and a very badly done one at that. She is more frightening than anything else. The director exercises his powers of clairvoyance, announcing that she will 'become very pretty in the future'. She passes, along with Jo In Sung (the guy from the toilets), Baek Hee the beetle, and Jason Timberlake.

And now we get to the essential plot device: the director has three people in mind for the special candidates that are to fill the last remaining spots at Kirin High. We have one mystery name: Song Sam Dong, country bumpkin, along with Hye Mi and Shi Hyuk. Teacher Kang is charged with finding them and bringing them to a special audition to be held in three days.

The sequence introducing Sam Dong shows us someone with a pretty radical hairdo who is secretly weaving a suit made of bin bags, or maybe those bags you get at Ikea. We also meet his mother, whose hairstyle resembles – just a tiny bit – a certain French zerg player. (!!)

Back in Seoul, Baek Hee is tearing all the pictures of her and Hye Mi down from the wall and cutting off her own, derivative ponytails, in augury of an independent new period of her life. And Shi Hyuk struggles with his latent desire to pursue dancing, by dancing on the roof of his apartment block at night.

Hye Mi is out on the streets, apparently, a further consequence of her father's debt, and takes her sister and their remaining belongings to squat in this underground clubhouse that is also home to a wrecked old car and a solitary rat. However, she is quickly tracked down my Mafia Doo Shik, and after a brief stint as a singer in his seedy nightclub filled with furniture from the 80s, she is rescued by Teacher Kang announcing she has been chosen as a special candidate. What's more, he takes her in to live with him and his alcoholic sister: an invitation that Hye Mi accepts reluctantly, as it turns out that a long time ago Teacher Kang had an affair with Hye Mi's mother and is responsible for her parents' collapsing marriage. Alrighty then.

Now I really don't get the tacks/pins on the floor thing. It's very obvious that you couldn't keep an accurate tally of how many you'd collected between the group, and also that you wouldn't really need to, as you could just survey the floor – flat and bare as it is, with no furniture or steps of any kind – to see if any tacks remained? And they were picking them up one by one, instead of sweeping the floor with their sleeves or something to collect them into little heaps. Still, Teacher Shi is kind of hot, much respect for the crazy side fringe!

Anyway, Hye Mi - on her own initiative – braves the post-apocalyptic terrain of rural Korea in order to track down Sam Dong for the audition. The costume he was making before is now explained: it's his 'derelique' get-up for a national singing contest that has come all the way out to his backwater town in Dam Bong county. He seems to immediately fall for Hye Mi after they bump into each other in the corridor, and this idea is reinforced when he picks her out of the audience to join him on stage as his potential future wife. His line is pretty good: 'I'm sorry to do this when we've just met' → proceeds to grab her hand and pull her onto the stage. Well played sir.

Episode 3: Beauty trap.

'He's an exhibitionist pervert.'
- Go Hye Mi

Dream high, aim low. Lost my Rolex in my Jaguar. Turns out the bags are fertilizer bags, and the costume is some kind of new age techo-pastoral synergy. Hye Mi's initial attempts to persuade Sam Dong are rebuked, but she perseveres: hiding herself beneath a basket in the back of his tractor/pickup and ambushing Sam Dong's mother with his recommendation letter. It gets late and she ends up staying the night at their house. Her pyjamas are muy sexy, violet and red floral combo, and her hair is tied up in a charming bun.

How many times have you asked someone where the bathroom is and received a warning about wild boars? Wanna take a leak? Boars. Wanna throw up after a heavy night of drinking? Boars. Wanna flush some old soup down the toilet so it doesn't clog your sink? Boars. Aigoo! What a hard life! The toilet is actually a picturesque shack, really really deep into the forest, at the end of a snowy trail. Not very practical.

Meanwhile, teacher Kang finds Shi Hyuk at the hospital. He's taken a beating from Mafia Doo Shik's goons, and is not very sympathetic to the idea of signing up at Kirin High. Teacher Kang admits that he will have a very low chance of becoming an international celebrity, but encourages him to pursue his dream anyway by climbing some stairs at a miraculous speed while Shi Hyuk takes the elevator. Even 0.0001% is worth trying for. But then there is the complication of Shi Hyuk arriving first and not disembarking as a kind of gesture to his heavily outmatched opponent. Behind all this is a non-trivial message: yes, you might succeed as a complete underdog, but not by brute force alone: you need a sympathetic hand from someone who is aware of the absurdity of your endeavour. Or something like that. Shi Hyuk is ultimately convinced, and requests to stay at teacher Kang's house along with Hye Mi.

'It's a lie, a nasty lie. That bad, bad girl. That pesticide-like girl. Don't fall for it, Sam Dong.' This guy knows what the fuck is up! He is keen to her insincerity, or maybe loyal to his own sense of realism and humility. God-dammit she is just so adorable tilting her head and flashing her milky white teeth: 'I like you, so come with me', yes, yes, a thousand times yes!! I will come with you, Suzy, I will gladly follow you anywhere!

Back at school, we get a glimpse of Jason and Pil Suk's burgeoning romance as he saves her the embarrassment of collecting her huge 'blanket-like' skirt from the costume queue. And Baek Hee is getting initiated into the dark arts by Teacher Shi, who fans the flame of her ambition and preaches the ideology of success at any cost.

When Hye Mi returns, she gets into a spot of bother after being provoked into launching some venomous insults at her former BFF: Baek Hee. She gets tripped up by the other students, and also bad-mouthed at the bus stop, but luckily Shi Hyuk is there to shield her from slings and arrows of the mob once again. This time his prop of choice is some headphones that aren't connected to anything, and he insists on putting one of them in Hye Mi's ear. This is primarily intended as a 'leave me alone, I'm listening to music' device, but has the additional benefit of declaring their friendship to the bullies who have labelled Hye Mi as an arrogant loner.

So I tried this on the train and go super paranoid by the silence. I think people expect a kind of faint buzzing or droning sound from someone listening to music with headphones, and depending on where you are, your scheme might be entirely exposed. Anyway, in this instance it works wonderfully – another 10/10 admirable, romantic gesture.

Episode 4: Some people get upset and then calm down again.

'Stuff like this should be sold at pharmacies.'
- Teacher Kang's drunken sister.

It's time for the special audition and Sam Dong is nowhere to be found. He turns up a moment too late, wearing a very chic Mickey Mouse baseball jacket, after having rescued a small child lost in the mall. The audition is an utter failure - and the three special candidates are looking at having their spots at Kirin High revoked. On the plus side, they are all finally together and staying at teacher Kang's house.

There is more sentimental consolation when Hye Mi throws a tantrum and Shi Hyuk insists that she shouldn't cry as: 'other girls are pretty when they cry, but it's especially ugly when you do, so don't cry any more'. This is right on the line between an insult and a mega-profound compliment, and can only be pulled off by someone with enough depth of character to completely rule out the possibility of the insult. So if you're trying to calm down a girl who's crying, think twice before attempting this risky manoeuvre!

The benevolent chairman, Ryosuke, takes a hit for the team, by announcing he will take a back seat at Kirin, handing the reigns over to the principal, on the condition that the special candidates and teacher Kang can stay. He then disappears from the show, with the warning: 'the real war begins now', leaving teacher Kang to fight the good fight against the tyranny of Bum Soo.

Hye Mi and Baek Hee get into a fight in the toilets, and when the others hear the commotion and rush in, Baek Hee is sly enough to collapse on the floor, faking a serious injury. In the tussle, Hye Mi ends up with the lucky amulet.

Sam Dong struggles to fit in at the school, unable to shake off his country bumpkin image, and ends up challenging Jason to a sing-off on top of this scaffold in the gym hall. He sings well but is slightly outdone by Jason, who holds the notes longer, and this is very bluntly presented, for the benefit of the viewer, Jason going way over the top and shit, but it's cool I guess, Sam Dong is just getting into his stride. After this little episode, Hye Mi helps Sam Dong out by giving him a makeover: something between urban hipster and handsome guy next door.

Later, Mafia Doo Shik runs into Hye Mi and tells her all about how Shi Hyuk was trying to save her and ended up taking a beating, and she feels really bad about accusing him of being a thug, when he's actually just super chivalrous and humble. So she makes an inept but endearing attempt to cover his motorbike up with a bunch of umbrellas to shield it from the snow. The love triangle begins to shape up really nicely: we already know Sam Dong likes her, Shi Hyuk is being ultra kind to her, and she cares about both of them at least as friends.

Teacher Kang spends all night writing up this inspirational report about what the students might achieve, but of course the principle shut him down and takes the opportunity to place the three special candidates in a 'college preparatory class' – effectively cutting them off from the main group and limiting their use of the school facilities.

Towards the end of the episode some mad drama unfolds, with Baek Hee asking after her amulet, Hye Mi denying she took it, Shi Hyuk – as always, following the virtuous path – urging Hye Mi to return it, and Sam Dong lashing out at Shi Hyuk from accusing Hye Mi of being a thief. This all culminates in Hye Mi taking a megaphone and announcing to the whole school that she will crush Baek Hee in the monthly gradings, and demanding that everyone must stop their 'ridiculous attacks' on her and the other preparatory class students.

Episode 5: Winter Child, Flying Flowerpot

'Courting - what is it?'
- Jason

How does one build a lego house without lego? How does one cry in one's shower, after having lost one's Rolex? Am I a piece of candy? Am I a tube of glue? This episode is pretty mad. Mad like a rabid monkey high on the fumes of a burning unicorn corpse. Anna, do you like horses?

In the first scene we learn that obstacles can become bridges if you knock them over (a idea prevalent in many video games), and that Sam Dong has the ability to turn people into chickens. Sweet sauce. Pil Suk turns up – sans face prosthetics, looking a lot better now – announcing that she's been demoted to the special class. Sam Dong tries to put a plaster on the wounded forehead of the sleeping Hye Mi, but he doesn't seems to be concerned about pulling her hair aside so it can stick properly. Then she wakes up, glares at him, takes the thing and sticks it on herself, but again, some of it is stuck to her hair, and it's probably just me but I find this totally aggravating!

Baek Hee has lunch with Shi Hyuk to thank him for helping her get the amulet back, and it becomes apparent that she has a crush on him, foreshadowing a potential love square, but this never plays out.

Mr. Kang and his special class get thrown out of the Art room by Bum Soo, and are forced to move their rehearsals over to the underground clubhouse. We get a nice 'cleaning out the junk' montage, during which everyone neglects to take off their backpacks, and everything is set, apart from the minor problem that they don't have a music teacher. I guess Teacher Kang is more of an inspirational figure and general mentor. In any case, he calls in Jinman, a teacher at Kirin who was specially selected by the Director, but who bears a grudge against teacher Kang for having abandoned the band they started in their youth. Jinman is actually extremely funny and often provides the comic counterpoise to the show's heavy melodrama. Initially stubborn, he's eventually won over and joins teacher Kang in coaching the preparatory class students for the big monthly appraisal.

Then we come to the wonderful 'I have a dream' scene, where Hye Mi demonstrates how terrible she is at acting. Arguably, it takes a good deal of skill to emulate such a vacant expression, and I actually found myself oddly provoked by Bae Suzy's performance, especially the 'look to the side them blow some air up into your fringe' move. Priceless!

Hye Mi turns to Pil Suk for advice on how to improve her emotional expression, and Pil Suk's crush on Jason comes to the surface, along with the idea that she suspects her feelings are reciprocated because he smiles at her a lot. But Hye Mi dismisses this as delusional and confronts Jason with the dashing line: 'are you interested in me?'. (Yes baby I am! I am madly interested in everything you do!) So Jason is all like, 'yo, it's just manners', but she sets him straight: 'in our country, it's called courting'. Stop being a jerk and smiling at everyone. Unfortunately this is all somewhat difficult to swallow from the viewer's perspective, as we know that Pil Suk is not actually fat at all, but real slim and pretty and soon to be given the caterpillar into a butterfly treatment (we suspect).

In other news, Shi Hyuk's former housemate – a stressed out law student struggling with his exams – has attempted suicide, and it's up to preparatory class to cheer him up by performing Girls Generation's 'Genie' outside his fried chicken shop. Hye Mi's underplayed empathy and little gestures are enthralling, snapping her black boots left and right across the pavement. There is a certain lack of vanity about her, a warmth, a humility. Muse of the prophets, angel, enchantress – pesticide-like girl!

On the trip back, Hye Mi and Shi Hyuk communicate through the romantic medium of notes written on the windows of the bus. Again, attempt this at your own peril: a lot of things could go wrong. The discovery that Shi Hyuk doesn't know his real birthday and uses Christmas Eve as his 'fake birthday', triggers Hye Mi's memories of a childhood friend who must have been Shi Hyuk – as they drank 7-packs of Yakult together and gathered on a snowy terrace in December around a biscuit cake. I love the kid version of Shi Hyuk's tiny headphones: just so you don't get confused as to who he is. Anyway this realisation inspires her song choice for the appraisal: Winter Child/Happy Birthday, a very touching song and one of the musical highlights of the show.

When the appraisal kicks off, Teacher Kang and Jinman are looking in from the sidelines, speculating as to the the scoring system. It so happens that the points are based on the other students' reactions, and Hye Mi, having captivated everyone, receives a perfect 100. Afterwards she approaches Baek Hee and – very uncharacteristically - tries to make peace between them: 'let us both not be so stubborn any more'. Unfortunately, Baek Hee has Sith blood running through her veins, courtesy of Teacher Shi, and she cannot relinquish her grudge against Hye Mi.

In the final scene of the episode, Hye Mi is taking out the trash, rather nonchalantly, while Shi Hyuk and Sam Dong are searching for her frantically after they find some Blair Witch style blood graffiti in her locker. Someone is out to get her. The infamous flowerpot assassin! Hye Mi stops to tie her shoelace, the assassin hesitates. Hye Mi ties it up some more, the flowerpot is released, heading right for her. Out of nowhere, Sam Dong dives in, taking the bullet for Hye Mi. She cradles his head, blood dripping from her hands.

'Born in the winter, Oh beautiful you, clean like snow, you who belong to me, my lover.'

Episode 6: Sam Dong Cinderella

'Hey... isn't that my underwear?'
- Shi Hyuk

Suzy, sweet Suzy! When will I gather the courage to drag this wretched body across the wide span of the earth to your native Seoul, city of sirens, digital Mecca – home to a foreign and beguiling kind of beauty? When will I be able to make sense of this fevered desire, this curiosity, this mesmeric appeal that radiates from your innocent features? You bad, bad girl. It's a lie, a nasty lie...

So while Sam Dong is convalescing in the local hospital, we get a flashback of him pretending to be a bad singer in front of his mother (because his father who abandoned them was also a singer and he is worried that his passion for singing will upset her). Damn he is good at acting, wow.

The dreams of Pil Suk and her shamanic doll are dispelled when she spots Jason walking off with another lady. Shi Hyuk, armed with a button from the flowerpot crime scene, confronts Baek Hee and forces her to show him her sleeves. She's in the clear as all her buttons are intact, but given all the anxious glances, shaking hands and voice-overs taking about 'hearts that have become empty', we are still inclined to suspect her.

The rivalry between Sam Dong and Shi Hyuk shapes up as they discuss Hye Mi and establish that she always smiles in front of Sam Dong and cries in front of Shi Hyuk. And they do this strange 'lying down on the bed sideways very casually and patting the pillow' move when making their points. Shi Hyuk refuses to admit he likes Hye Mi, while Sam Dong is more candid, but still doesn't spell out his intentions.

Sam Dong's mother turns up and the lies continue as he doesn't want to worry her, so he completely denies his injury and instead puts forwards that the teachers called her because of a showcase that he's taking part in.

I didn't mention this earlier but there was a heated moment some time ago when Hye Mi lashed out at Sam Dong, admitting that all her sweet words in Dam Bong were lies, that he is 'nothing' and should go back home. So he's taken a pretty heavy hit in this regard, but nevertheless, he continues with this romantic endeavour unperturbed. They go for coffee and after some joking around at the expense of Jinman's dancing – a familiar face returns: Mafia Doo Shik. When he reaches to stroke Hye Mi's face, Sam Dong intervenes, and although the situation is quickly diffused, it leads to another outburst from Hye Mi later on. This time she's all like 'don't pry into my business again', I don't need your help, if a flowerpot is about to hit me, then let it hit me, I don't want to continue owing you, and so forth. And then the hammer on the nail in the coffin: 'I feel burdened'. Basically: I want to settle this and then get away from you. You can either look at her statement as a complete dismissal of the idea that he may have feelings for her, or else as a sophisticated, round-about way of rebuking him.

Despite their performances in the appraisal, chairman Bum Soo refuses to allow the special invite students to take part in the big, upcoming showcase, by a dastardly reworking of the school rules. Spurned on by the need to please Sam Dong's mother – who is expecting him perform at the showcase, and otherwise her heart will be broken – the gang decided to put on a fake showcase, using the abandoned school as the venue (while everyone else is at some convention centre for the real thing). They enlist the help of Mafia Doo Shik, who will pose as a 'business planning coordinator' to rent out the school, and of teacher Kang's sister (who is a journalist), once she has been lured in by images of Shi Hyuk taking his shirt off.

That evening, the three members of the love triangle run into teacher Kang at Doo Shik's retro lounge (I think?), where they learn that teacher Kang has in fact settled Hye Mi's debt by mortgaging his house. Hye Mi – despite teacher Kang's utterly selfless and saint-like behaviour, (which will only get more absurdly virtuous in the coming episodes) – refuses to forgive him and runs off in a strop. Sam Dong, on the other hands, breaks down in gratitude, after some cryptic words by Kang to the effect of: 'my dreams, like yours, seem to be forever out of reach, so let's make use of this chance and let me see your talents'. Hard to decipher. Sam Dong's acting is crazy good again, all trembling and crying and shit - you won't see this kind of thing in your average soap opera!

Then we have the scene at the bus stop, where Hye Mi and Shi Hyuk bond over their conflicted feelings about their fathers, and their shared dream of performing on stage, and sharing that stage together. Their conversation is so subdued, their sentiments so underplayed that it may be difficult for some viewers to grasp what's going on: this is actually courting, a new age, hyper- nuanced kind of courting, where the guy is abundantly chivalrous and the girl is overwhelmingly vulnerable. There will be no feigned bravado, no awkward, mumbled confessions, no paralysing insecurities, no abortive leaning in for the kiss, no terrible small talk. There will be nothing sickening, shameful, reckless or embarrassing in the courtship. This is how the kids are doing it these days: with subtlety, charm and grace. This is new school.

This sentimental interlude is brought to a sudden halt by the arrival of Shi Hyuk's father, waiting outside teacher Kang's house. Without so much as a hello, he bitch slaps Shi Hyuk and ushers in the closing theme song.

Episode 7: The Fake Showcase, or Faux-case

'I pay more attention to underground music'
- Ma Doo Shik

Once you get a taste for it, it's hard to go back. The trivial beauty of Caucasian women begins to grate on your subconscious. The same crude features, again and again, the same painted faces. It's a conspiracy, a cult, a virus. We are all being played and there's no way to abandon or forfeit the game. It's a lie, a nasty lie. Hye Mi - could it be that you're just another kind of poison?

Shi Hyuk's father enacts a solo rendition of good cop, bad cop, building towards an ethical checkmate with the question: 'do you want me to give up everything for you, only to live my life as your father?' Shi Hyuk yields to this psychological assault and agrees to abandon everything and study abroad for the benefit of his father's career.

In a moment of rebellion, Jason finds Pil Suk and invites her to a karaoke bar where they cut loose and partake in ye old revelry – contra teacher Shi's bullshit 'do you think this is all a fun game, and not deadly serious' rhetoric. Elsewhere, Shi Hyuk is pondering his newly revealed future, when Baek Hee turns up and requests that he come and cheer her on at the real showcase, since her mother doesn't give a fuck and there is no one to bring her flowers. So he's like: 'cool sis, I'll be there, ain't no thing', but Hye Mi and Sam Dong overhear this and they speak thusly: 'are you mad bro? We have our own fake showcase, you can't be doing this shit'.

Now although Sam Dong is the master of saying whatever is necessary to please the person you're talking to, in this case, it's Shi Hyuk who dabbles in this peculiar art form. 'Yo, I was meaning to quit anyway, I knew this could never last, I want to start all over again' – and so forth. Because he refuses to be a little bitch and get everyone worked up about his departure. After saying his piece, he does the old – demonstrably flawed – headphones plugged into nothing gambit, which Hye Mi quickly sees through and responds to with a sharp kick to the knee.

After Pil Suk announces she has to leave for a very important undisclosed location, Jason decided to follow her and ends up at the secret underground clubhouse, where Jinman is teaching everyone to 'glide' in preparation for the fake showcase. Clearly 'this is where the real stuff is at' – none of that cookie cutter pop idol, 'success at any cost' teacher Shi bullshit – this is underground baby. Retrospective from the ghetto.

Then we come to the day of the showcase. Jason - now in the loop after having overheard everything – intercepts a parcel meant for Kirin high, offering to deliver it himself, and thus keeping things under wrap. With Jason gone, and his morally vacuous partner, Ri Ah, also refusing to partake in the showcase, the legit students are in a bit of a pickle. Shi Hyuk turns up, in honour of his promise, and Baek Hee takes the opportunity to enroll him as Jason's replacement for the opening duet – touching a nerve with her 'I just want to impress my mother' sentiment. And so a short time later, the two of them emerge on the big stage – Baek Hee with a striking black star painted across her eye, and Shi Hyuk complete with feathered epaulettes, one bare arm and one sequinned silver sleeve. Beyond the thunderdome.

Meanwhile, teacher Shi is wondering around the supposedly empty Kirin High, looking for Jason who has been reported missing. Cue menacing music and several shots of her traversing staircases and walkways. A confrontation is inevitable.

What do you do when an attractive woman catches you in the middle of a dubious act, spells out your inadequacies and demonstrates the futility of your endeavour? Well, you pick her up and lock her in a broom closet. Job done.

The faux-case continues as planned, Hye Mi agreeing to play Chun Hyang to Sam Dong's Mong Ryong (quite a mouthful), and the two of give a pleasing rendition of Wonder Girls' 'Maybe', accompanied by Teacher Kang on guitar.

Across town, the bright lights, glistening confetti and roaring applause bring Shik Hyuk to the realisation that performing is his passion and that he must pursue the things he wants to do and be with the people he wants to be with. A continuation of the the bus stop courting metaphor, this resolution to defy his father and remain at Kirin High, amounts to a confession of his feelings for Hye Mi. Futhermore, his energetic dancing and bar spitting catch the attention of a big shot corporate talent scout (later revealed as Do Shik's former colleague and rival) who is eager to sign him.

Teacher Shi eventually escapes from the broom closet, rushing over to the sound deck to sabotage proceedings, but stops short at the sound of Teacher Kang's moving speech. 'This was a fake showcase, the students didn't cut the grade, but they want to soar higher, their dreams are too beautiful, they cut up their own paper flakes, I can't tell them to not try since they might get hurt, pursuing your dreams is also a talent.' Roughly that. Then rapturous applause, a lot of people crying, teacher Shi lost for words, Do Shik tipping his Mafia hat in admiration: 'he's just as old-fashioned as ever'. Even Hye Mi softens, raising her dainty hand for a high five as she looks away, curling her lips into a half-smile.

Now Shi Hyuk, clear in his resolve - older, wiser, more pimp – approaches his father, apologises for his previous arrogance and ignorance, but insists that performing is now his dream and that he must remain in Seoul. His speech is so sincere, compelling and well-intentioned that you can't help but think that his father will yield. No such luck: a few minutes later – just after he texts Hye Mi, eager to meet up and reveal his newly awakened feelings for her - Shi Hyuk gets ambushed, forced into a car and taken to the airport by his father's henchmen. Bloody hell, this guy is ruthless. Looking like a strong contender for 'most villainous', what with Bum Soo laying low, and Ma Do Shik becoming increasing charming and debonair.

Episode 8: Two-hundred days later

'in this world there are no ugly women, only lazy ones'
- morally bankrupt assistant teacher

At the airport, Shi Hyuk escapes from custody with a series of acrobatic moves reminiscent of episode one. He makes it back to teacher Kang's house where everyone is gathered round the dinner table, indulging Sam Dong's mother with his wild fabrications. Afterwards – in one of countless scenes set in that same quiet spot near the steps outside the house – Hye Mi accepts Shi Hyuk's apology, at least partially, explaining that she was about to beat him up, but since he looks so helpless, she'll let him off the hook. Keen to his suffering.

Unfortunately, this tenuous peace between them only lasts for a moment as the next day, Shi Hyuk's debut – along with Baek Hee, Jason and a few others – is announced to the whole school. At the press conference, Baek Hee thanks her rival for spurring her on by labelling her as 'third rate', but keeps it classy, not revealing Hye Mi's name.

In response, Hye Mi conscience leads her to a secluded snowy balcony, where she recalls Baek Hee's former adulation towards her, and the way she betrayed Baek Hee at the first audition. 'You really are horrible', she concludes. Quite apart from that, her ambivalent feelings towards Shi Hyuk have crystallised into something like raw yearning, with the news of his début and subsequent departure from their special class and from teacher Kang's house.

This is testified to by her response to Shi Hyuk's follow-up apology, (which he is free to convey only after having picked up Sam Dong, carried him onto the balcony and locked him out – a course of action triggered by Sam Dong's faint, almost indiscernible mumbling of: 'do you even lift, bro?').

Anyway, Shi Hyuk's insistence that he was forced into the début, and that he was in fact sincere about wanting to perform on stage with her (nudge, wink, multi-faceted euphemism, but only partially) - is met with a medley of emotions from Hye Mi. At once: do I even have the right to be mad at you, 'what am I to you?', but also: 'congratulations, but I can't smile while congratulating you'. This might be read as a simultaneous confession of her feelings and a premature breakup; i.e: I'd like to mean something to you, I'd like to take pleasure in your happiness, but the way things have unfolded, it seems like I've lost you already. Or something along those lines. Although it's fairly obvious that the 'jealousy' of his success and the 'fervent desire' to début that she speaks of are thinly disguised confessional/romantic sentiments – the whole scene is so subdued, the performance so nuanced – that somehow it's difficult to break away from suspending your disbelief.

We enter a period of depression and at some point, Pil Suk – once again spurned by Jason, although he's slowly coming round – joins Hye Mi as her partner in misery. The tide of her arrogance stemmed, Hye Mi's transformed consciousness now recognises Pik Suk's beauty: 'I don't know why I've never noticed it before'.

After numerous abortive attempts at reconciliation, the day of Shi Hyuk's departure arrives and the best he can do is leave her one final token of his feelings, before riding off towards the dizzying horizon of fame and success: a box containing the previously mentioned motorbike helmet and headphones.

This brings her to tears and brings us, the audience, to the same spot beside the steps where Sam Dong finds her and attempts to console her. Now although most of this show is someone trying to console, confront, or convince someone else, and possibly if you add 'coerce' to account for some of the more nefarious characters, you might cover 90% of the situations with 4 words, this scene is different. The conversation that follows is remarkable, insightful, inspired, profound, whatever you like. Just plain good. Sick like a city that's really sick.

He asks her what's wrong. She comes back: 'should I say it?' Shit just got real. She knows, she feels it. His original infatuation with her, his elaborate lies to his mother about her – all off that has been superseded by something more serious, more admirable, more painful, and she knows this will hurt him badly.

'Should I say it?' Knowingly, heavily: 'no...'. But she can't resist: 'I think you know'. Sam Dong loses his cool, screaming: 'stop it!'. At his point it's entirely clear that both their feelings have been uncovered, and that they are both aware of it. But that's doesn’t matter to him, because he is old school and he won't take an ounce of sympathy from her, nor force a single awkward moment upon her. And so we have the brilliant diversion, linguistic trick, conversational master stroke, whereby Sam Dong – barely keeping it together, but valiantly so - interprets her as crying out of jealously, because of Shi Hyuk's début. 'I know you better than you know yourself. There's no other reason right?' Just brilliant. Giving her the chance to confess if she really insists, but also the chance to avoid any kind of embarrassment or revelation. Even at his most vulnerable, Sam Dong is a conversational wizard.

'Am I Hani, am I Naeri?' asks Hye Mi after being presented with Sam Dong's rather impressive illustrations of her, scrunched up and discarded, but now inadvertently salvaged by teacher Kang. A good opportunity for some forth wall shenanigans, as he reminds her – and us – that she is only halfway though her TV drama, and has plenty of time to change her ways and recapture the leading role. Eight of sixteen, perfect timing.

Elsewhere, Pil Suk loses weight through a montage of skipping, drinking milk and pinning bottle-caps to a calender, to sound of 'video killed the radio star'. Her weight loss is worked into the plot by means of a mysterious 200 day long holiday. Well, arguably the débutantes left Kirin High and returned months later, but the whole thing just doesn't sit right. Jason returns to an unrecognisable Pil Suk, slim as fuck and equipped with her own English catchphrase: 'long time no see'. And Shi Hyuk returns to find Hye Mi and Sam Dong sweating away in the practice room with some synchronised dancing that is apparently so epic that they've gathered a small crowd and everyone's mouth is hanging open in astonishment. Cue teacher Kang's voice over: 'the drama is far from over!'.

End of part one. Thanks for reading. Coming up in part two – never to be penned, but still – a dance-off on the streets of Tokyo against a local busking crew, Sam Dong goes full Emo mode and Shi Hyuk hospitalizes a lecherous music executive. Oh, and some people sleep in a bathhouse/spa as a cheap alternative to a hotel.

'I know you'll be a superstar. So don't you worry where you are'.

**

Dream High season 2 opens up with a re-enactment of the Dam Bong bus scene, and features the lovely bit of dialogue: 'you pesticide-like wench'. This is what they chose to link one series to the next; this is what was deemed essential and instantly recognisable. Pesticide-like wench is hard to take seriously. I read it as something like: insincere temptress. Suzy, is that really what you are?

Life was good for Sam Dong. Chopping firewood, tending to the land, reaping the fruits of his labour; warding off the boars, frolicking in the snowy wonderland that leads up to his boutique water closet outhouse. He was content, he knew where he stood.

Along came Hye Mi - batting her eyelids and flashing her silky smile – luring him away from everything familiar and towards the unknown pleasures of the big city. Forget everything and come with me. Open your mind up to an unimaginable future.

Sorry for the man. But it's not your character I mistrust, it's your beauty. This dizzying, mesmeric appeal – foreign and incomprehensible. Casting a shadow over every innocent crush, every sober judgement, every scrap of pride in some kind of discernment or taste. Carefully preserved memories, long safe in woolly cotton brains, now exhumed and reworked with suspicion. And to what end, and for what gain?

Sorry for the man. Inside his skull once spun a kaleidoscope of portraits, girls and women, younger and older, endearing and forgiving; sustaining his from within. Surrendered now in deference to a brave new kind of beauty, full of promise, but itself veiled and impenetrable. Like some esoteric trinket half deciphered, her beauty only serves to empower his new-found ignorance. 'You have been lied to and misled', she speaks. Look how easily I have drawn you away.

'I feel sorry for the man who love a girl like you' - Black Uhuru, Bad Girl