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Incomplet
Profile Blog Joined September 2011
United Kingdom1419 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 17:30:50
November 04 2013 17:29 GMT
#1
Hello all, let me start off by stating that I am pretty pissed off right now, so with my emotions possible intervening here, perhaps tomorrow I will be a bit more level headed. So here we go...

About my job:
I work at a 3 star hotel as the Head of Reception. Under me, I have a small team which I help coach, provide feedback, training, recruitment, set rotas, as well as setting all the rates, monitoring local competitor rates and adjusting accordingly. Finally I am also required to do normal reception work. It is by far the most stressful job I have ever had, however the pay is decent and I get to set my own schedule. Unfortunately there was an incident today which really made my fuse blow.

The Incident:
This morning, the head of housekeeping asked me if a certain guest was still in his room. To which I replied "he is still on the system". Then she asked, but is he in his room? I said the same thing again, to which she replied, "you're stating the obvious, I could of checked that myself". Now what she meant was, is he physically in his room, and of course it is literally impossible for me to know who is still physically in the room, because I wasn't the one who checked him in, and wouldn't know if he has gone out for the day. And as far as the system was concerned, he was due to check out in 2 days.

Now a bit about this housekeeper. She is an overweight, bitter old lady, who has a sickening knack for being sarcastic and snorting like a pig when she laughs. Normally I would brush something like this off, that is until later in the day. So later on, we had a head of department meeting, in which our manager asked us all to provide 2 things we wanted our department to improve on. One of my answers was to increase communication and cohesion between reception, and all the other departments. Little did I know this would bounce back at me later.

So the meeting finished and I popped back into the reception to finish some paper work. This lady was leaving for the day, so I looked up and smiled. She said "I'm leaving", to which I replied "ok cya later".
Then she turned around and said "remember that thing you said about increasing communication?" Then she muttered "what a load of bullcrap" and walked off.

Now this is not just a vent off. But rather I am seeking the opinion of fellow TL'ers here. I have come up with a few options of what to do here, please help me decide...

Poll: How to handle this situation?

Sweep it under the rug and forget it (18)
 
62%

Talk to my manager about it (5)
 
17%

Confront her & tell her to stop talking sarcastically to me (aggressively) (2)
 
7%

Confront her & tell her to stop talking sarcastically to me (nicely) (2)
 
7%

Other (Please suggest what) (2)
 
7%

29 total votes

Your vote: How to handle this situation?

(Vote): Confront her & tell her to stop talking sarcastically to me (aggressively)
(Vote): Confront her & tell her to stop talking sarcastically to me (nicely)
(Vote): Talk to my manager about it
(Vote): Other (Please suggest what)
(Vote): Sweep it under the rug and forget it



Thanks




*
Bow down to the sons of Aiur...SKT1_Rain, CreatorPrime, ST_Parting, Liquid_Hero.
Kingsky
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Singapore298 Posts
November 04 2013 17:46 GMT
#2
You cannot change people, but you can change the way you interact and deal with people. Depends really, is she more senior then you etc? Can't really give proper opinion without all the facts
Why do people hate the Colossus? Because the Colossus is like banksters from Wall Street: “too big to fail”. - TheDwF
WaveofShadow
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada31494 Posts
November 04 2013 18:30 GMT
#3
Um....couldn't you have said to her 'I don't know if he is in his room?" You knew very well what she was asking you.
It seems like your original answer to her was a little passive-aggressive.
twitch.tv/waveofshadow ||| Winner of AHGL's So You Think You Can Cast! ||| Juicy Dad for lyfe ||| 'idk i get a kick out of stupid things' - Jarms Yarng
Ender985
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Spain910 Posts
November 04 2013 18:35 GMT
#4
Instead of repeating twice that the guest is still on the system, why could you not tell that woman exactly what you told us, that since you did not check the person in you can not know if he is still in the room? Honestly that sounds like a bit of passive aggressiveness out of the blue towards her, whom you clearly dont like. Therefore her getting angrily back at you is more or less understandable.

Also I was expecting real drama with tears and regret and was pretty disappointed. I guess this is the british version of it though xD
Member of the Pirate Party - direct democracy, institutional transparency, and freedom of information
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
November 04 2013 18:57 GMT
#5
Sorry, but would telling her directly "Hey, I have no way to actually know whether he is or isn't there." really backfire on you?

Voted to forget it because it's really nothing. But next time, just tell her straight up that knowing that is beyond your powers.
TriO
Profile Joined July 2011
United States421 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 19:18:27
November 04 2013 19:17 GMT
#6
Send her a message and tell her who's boss giving her a gift of fried chicken.
My dream is to tear up your dream.
Vivax
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
21959 Posts
November 04 2013 19:18 GMT
#7
Now a bit about this housekeeper. She is an overweight, bitter old lady, who has a sickening knack for being sarcastic and snorting like a pig when she laughs. Normally I would brush something like this off


Sounds to me like this is the real problem here.

You can't change people bro. Man up and bring her flowers.
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 19:31:55
November 04 2013 19:31 GMT
#8
This is a really, really small deal. Both of you had minor failures in communication then she decided to say this ultra passive-aggressive but really freaking weak insult. How much time do you guys actually have? None? Because that's what the snippets you gave us implied. You guys didn't have more than like five sentences worth of dialogue before she went back on her way. It's like you can't slow down for half a second to attempt to communicate.
I supposed if you think this could be smoothed over, you could try and talk with her for a sec, but if this is her personality, I wouldn't sweat it too much.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 20:06:00
November 04 2013 20:05 GMT
#9
You feel like you were wronged, but look how you describe the woman. She's an old overweight lady, and you describe her in a very unflattering way. We all have our problems man. She has her own, clearly. If she continues and you feel like she's kind of harassing you, consider asking your boss how you deal with situations like that without incriminating her right off the bat. Don't 'attack' right away.

If you think you have a shot at having a friendly dialog with her, then try that. That said, being friendly with angry people can be hard.

Good luck.
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
FliedLice
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Germany7494 Posts
November 04 2013 20:53 GMT
#10
The drama level at the hotel you work at really seems to be below avarage if that story is seriously worrying you.
Kevmeister @ Dota2
hypercube
Profile Joined April 2010
Hungary2735 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 21:09:20
November 04 2013 21:09 GMT
#11
Just answer the damn question, next time.
And yes, I don't know is a legitimate answer.

I would have been annoyed in her situation too.
"Sending people in rockets to other planets is a waste of money better spent on sending rockets into people on this planet."
Zorkmid
Profile Joined November 2008
4410 Posts
November 04 2013 22:46 GMT
#12
Yea, seems like you came off a little snarky, even with you writing the blog.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32046 Posts
November 04 2013 22:53 GMT
#13
she works under you yes? tell her to cut the stupid attitude or get ready to find new work
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
FliedLice
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Germany7494 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-04 22:54:49
November 04 2013 22:54 GMT
#14
They're both head of their respective department as far as I can tell from the post.
Kevmeister @ Dota2
Chocolate
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States2350 Posts
November 04 2013 22:56 GMT
#15
On November 05 2013 07:53 QuanticHawk wrote:
she works under you yes? tell her to cut the stupid attitude or get ready to find new work

Yeah dude run your ship like a despot what could go wrong
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
November 04 2013 23:11 GMT
#16
If this is really eating you up then the next time you see her, apologize for your behaviour and state that you were having a bad day or some crap like that. And then just be super friendly to her for the next couple of days. If she's still sarcastic and treating you with disrespect, then take more serious action. But at least you can always say you tried.

But yeah, this really isn't that big of a deal at all. A co-worker muttered something to you as she was leaving? Gasp!
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
LaNague
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Germany9118 Posts
November 04 2013 23:26 GMT
#17
i really think you are the dick in that story.

First you refuse to answer her intended question, basically trolling her, and then you tell people in the staff meeting that you would looove to improve communication at work.


yeah....
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
November 05 2013 01:05 GMT
#18
On November 05 2013 08:26 LaNague wrote:
i really think you are the dick in that story.

First you refuse to answer her intended question, basically trolling her, and then you tell people in the staff meeting that you would looove to improve communication at work.


yeah....

You misunderstand how hard casual, rapid communication is. One doesn't need to be a dick to have poor communication, often enough, they just can't think on their feet quick enough. Or they may be unaware of their flaws.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
a176
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada6688 Posts
November 05 2013 01:24 GMT
#19
a couple of things

why did she want to know if he was in his room? why couldnt she ask one of her team to check?

from the way you describe it, it sounds like she takes her job maybe a bit too lightly. the kind of person who prefers to offload work onto others. if i were in your position, i wouldnt escalate in terms of "shes not doing her job", but i would escalate it to help solve an internal problem.

everyone is entitled to a safe and courteous work environment.
starleague forever
ObviousOne
Profile Joined April 2012
United States3704 Posts
November 05 2013 03:02 GMT
#20
Could have called the room if it was a sensible hour, right?
Fear is the only darkness. ~Destiny Fan Club operator~
Grobyc
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Canada18410 Posts
November 05 2013 04:39 GMT
#21
If you didn't make that passive aggressive remark initially I would have talked to your manager about it, but you sounded like kind of a dick responding the way you did, so I would just leave it.
If you watch Godzilla backwards it's about a benevolent lizard who helps rebuild a city and then moonwalks into the ocean.
Tazza
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Korea (South)1678 Posts
November 05 2013 09:55 GMT
#22
I think you could have stated your position better. Instead of saying he's on the system, you could have explained that you see him on the system, but you have no idea whether he is physically present in the room or not since you didn't check him in. Also maybe talk about how it would be an invasion of privacy if you just barged through the door to check if he's there or something.

Right now, i'd privately ask her for a chat and explain your stance without getting heated. If you don't nip it right now, it could continue to harbor resentment
Pandemona *
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Charlie Sheens House51474 Posts
November 05 2013 11:14 GMT
#23
Your in charge of her no?
Disciplinary gogo! Thats what i would do. You don't like the way she is acting being. Call her in for a formal warning about her conduct with you on the other staff (guessing she is like it with others)
GG
ModeratorTeam Liquid Football Thread Guru! - Chelsea FC ♥
Dubzex
Profile Joined October 2010
United States6994 Posts
November 05 2013 13:06 GMT
#24
So where is the drama? This title is so misleading...
"DONT UNDERESTIMATE MY CARRY OR YOU WILL BE CARRIED INTO THE ABYSS OF SUFFERING" - Tyler 'TC' Cook
Gowerly
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United Kingdom916 Posts
November 05 2013 15:18 GMT
#25
You handled the situation in the morning like a complete moron, so well done on that. Her question was vague, but your answer was completely useless. Twice. You had way more information about the situation than her, as well as the means to gather even more. However, you refused to. Entirely on you.

Her remark at the end of the day was, yes, wrong of her. She should not have done that.
Personally, I would make a note that it happened and continue as normal. If these things keep happening, keep logging them.
Approach a superior should they get out of hand.

Also, in future, answer the question with the information you have at hand in a way that actually helps the person asking the question.
"I don't know" is fine. "I can call their room" is fine. A non-answer as you provided is insulting and useless.
I will reduce you to a series of numbers.
NeuroticPsychosis
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States322 Posts
November 05 2013 16:11 GMT
#26
Don't be apologetic, show her who's boss.
intricate, elaborate, articulate, crystallize, conceptualize, synthesize
guN-viCe
Profile Joined March 2010
United States687 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-11-05 18:26:32
November 05 2013 18:26 GMT
#27
As a manager, you should be more mature. Sounds like you were being a dick to her. Take your ego down a notch.

This is about as big of a deal as you make it, really.
Never give up, never surrender!!! ~~ Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence -Sagan
gg_hertzz
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
2152 Posts
November 05 2013 23:17 GMT
#28
Seems to me like you were on a powertrip. You knew what she was asking and yet purposely avoided to answer properly and when she questioned you the second time you thought she was challenging your position.
EJK
Profile Blog Joined September 2013
United States1302 Posts
November 06 2013 01:37 GMT
#29
On November 05 2013 08:26 LaNague wrote:
i really think you are the dick in that story.

First you refuse to answer her intended question, basically trolling her, and then you tell people in the staff meeting that you would looove to improve communication at work.


yeah....

agreed. why would you even be mad at this? She is presenting you an opportunity to improve communication with others (which includes her) and you were pretty blind to it, no wonder you felt blindsided
Sc2 Terran Coach, top 16GM NA - interested in coaching? Message me on teamliquid!
remedium
Profile Joined July 2011
United States939 Posts
November 06 2013 03:15 GMT
#30
Worst girl blog I've ever read.
Stay positive!
ZeaL.
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States5955 Posts
November 06 2013 07:26 GMT
#31
I don't get why you guys are ragging on the OP.

I mean, why the hell would he know if the guy is in his room or not? When I go to a hotel I don't want the front desk dude following me around checking where I'm at at all times of the day. Unless I'm missing something here, it sounds like she was just too lazy to walk to the room and check herself.
Callandor
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Australia57 Posts
November 06 2013 21:29 GMT
#32
On November 06 2013 16:26 ZeaL. wrote:
I don't get why you guys are ragging on the OP.

I mean, why the hell would he know if the guy is in his room or not? When I go to a hotel I don't want the front desk dude following me around checking where I'm at at all times of the day. Unless I'm missing something here, it sounds like she was just too lazy to walk to the room and check herself.


The issue is not whether he knew or not, it was how he handled the situation. Rather than telling her "I'm sorry, I don't know", he gave her a snarky answer, which is probably a contributing factor to her aggressiveness towards him.

And yes she is most likely being very lazy, but that's the issue that needs to be addressed directly, as mature adults.
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