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Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. Women are never going to make you happy, only when you are already happy and fulfilled will a decent woman want to be with you. If you really want to find a good girlfriend, stop caring about woman and focus on yourself.
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On October 02 2013 08:26 Shauni wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2013 07:26 v1dom wrote:On October 02 2013 07:24 IronManSC wrote:
It sounds to me like you are inclined from peer pressure to have a girlfriend because everyone else is dating and you feel like you're "falling behind." You're nearly 21 years old, you're still really young. What I've learned over the years is that you want to be at least somewhat settled first, but most importantly you want to be an independent man. That doesn't necessarily mean living on your own, but rather you make your own decisions with integrity and that you know what you're doing/pursuing in life. Focus on this first, because women love a guy who can take care of himself and keep himself busy, just like how men love a woman who can be independent.
The other thing is that high school and early college dating isn't generally the wisest path to go down. It works for some or many people, i'm sure, but for most not really. I dated 6 girls between sophomore year of high school and junior year of college, and none lasted longer than 8 months. Sweet girls, but they weren't for me. The maturity fluctuates a lot. It's not that you can't understand girls or vice versa at that level, it just means people are not really set in life, and to get involved in a relationship in those circumstances only adds to the stress. There's too much pressure from academics and other aspects of life and maturity that can conflict with your personal choices in a relationship. People still have growing up to do in the college life. The fact is, you won't understand women completely, be it 5 years of marriage or 30 years. Women won't understand men completely either.
The questions you need to ask yourself are can I take care of myself right now? and Do I know what I want to do in life?, and others like those. If you aren't fully confident in who you are or where you're headed in life (career-wise), then how are you going to know how to uphold a relationship with a woman who wants you to be that man? A woman is not the answer to your life. I would focus on yourself first and really get set in stone with finances and what career you may want before you make the decision to take care of a woman, but if you wallow up your self-esteem and wonder why girls don't like you or whatever, then you're going to have a tougher time maintaining a potentially good relationship down the road.
But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right. Nailed it. Nailed what? His post is just old fashioned and backwards. Have your finance and career set in stone before entering a relationship? I hope that's some kind of terrible joke.
I didn't say have your life all figured out first. I just said it's better to know who you are and what you're aiming for; an ambition to pursue something in life. A woman would much rather date this type of guy (even if he isn't 100% sure what he wants to do yet) than a guy who sits inside all day and applies online to jobs without having any ambition to learn something more.
I don't know if the OP has a career path figured out yet or what, but based on his lower self-esteem and confidence in pursuing women, according to how he worded it, I'd say he would be better off getting his priorities in line first (to an extent at least), before going woman hunting because that won't really solve anything, especially at the age of 20. He would likely be more desperate and clingy in trying to get a girl to like him and trying to play the game right. It appears he wants a girlfriend just so that he can have a girlfriend. It's not the right mindset to have.
But that's also why I said this in the last part of my post:
But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right.
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Also, throw away the Pokemon t-shirts, track pants and hoodies, and get some grown-up clothes. If you don't know what you should be looking for, there's a guy on TL who blogs occasionally about fashion that knows his stuff.
If you can't afford nice clothes, then you need a plan to make money. Make yourself a Benz outta that Datsun, as Kanye says. Go to college, start selling drugs, get a really dangerous job, whatever.
Worry about becoming a "10" yourself, then girls will not be a problem.
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Why is Shauni of all people making fun of other peoples' advice....
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On October 02 2013 08:41 IronManSC wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2013 08:26 Shauni wrote:On October 02 2013 07:26 v1dom wrote:On October 02 2013 07:24 IronManSC wrote:
It sounds to me like you are inclined from peer pressure to have a girlfriend because everyone else is dating and you feel like you're "falling behind." You're nearly 21 years old, you're still really young. What I've learned over the years is that you want to be at least somewhat settled first, but most importantly you want to be an independent man. That doesn't necessarily mean living on your own, but rather you make your own decisions with integrity and that you know what you're doing/pursuing in life. Focus on this first, because women love a guy who can take care of himself and keep himself busy, just like how men love a woman who can be independent.
The other thing is that high school and early college dating isn't generally the wisest path to go down. It works for some or many people, i'm sure, but for most not really. I dated 6 girls between sophomore year of high school and junior year of college, and none lasted longer than 8 months. Sweet girls, but they weren't for me. The maturity fluctuates a lot. It's not that you can't understand girls or vice versa at that level, it just means people are not really set in life, and to get involved in a relationship in those circumstances only adds to the stress. There's too much pressure from academics and other aspects of life and maturity that can conflict with your personal choices in a relationship. People still have growing up to do in the college life. The fact is, you won't understand women completely, be it 5 years of marriage or 30 years. Women won't understand men completely either.
The questions you need to ask yourself are can I take care of myself right now? and Do I know what I want to do in life?, and others like those. If you aren't fully confident in who you are or where you're headed in life (career-wise), then how are you going to know how to uphold a relationship with a woman who wants you to be that man? A woman is not the answer to your life. I would focus on yourself first and really get set in stone with finances and what career you may want before you make the decision to take care of a woman, but if you wallow up your self-esteem and wonder why girls don't like you or whatever, then you're going to have a tougher time maintaining a potentially good relationship down the road.
But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right. Nailed it. Nailed what? His post is just old fashioned and backwards. Have your finance and career set in stone before entering a relationship? I hope that's some kind of terrible joke. I didn't say have your life all figured out first. I just said it's better to know who you are and what you're aiming for; an ambition to pursue something in life. A woman would much rather date this type of guy (even if he isn't 100% sure what he wants to do yet) than a guy who sits inside all day and applies online to jobs without having any ambition to learn something more. I don't know if the OP has a career path figured out yet or what, but based on his lower self-esteem and confidence in pursuing women, according to how he worded it, I'd say he would be better off getting his priorities in line first (to an extent at least), before going woman hunting because that won't really solve anything, especially at the age of 20. He would likely be more desperate and clingy in trying to get a girl to like him and trying to play the game right. It appears he wants a girlfriend just so that he can have a girlfriend. It's not the right mindset to have. But that's also why I said this in the last part of my post: But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right.
If that's what you want most, you can't "not worry about it" so my advice is to channel that worry into improving yourself.
Edit: This post is worthy of my 500th
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Netherlands5063 Posts
On October 02 2013 08:45 Feartheguru wrote:
Why is Shauni of all people making fun of other peoples' advice....
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On October 02 2013 08:41 IronManSC wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2013 08:26 Shauni wrote:On October 02 2013 07:26 v1dom wrote:On October 02 2013 07:24 IronManSC wrote:
It sounds to me like you are inclined from peer pressure to have a girlfriend because everyone else is dating and you feel like you're "falling behind." You're nearly 21 years old, you're still really young. What I've learned over the years is that you want to be at least somewhat settled first, but most importantly you want to be an independent man. That doesn't necessarily mean living on your own, but rather you make your own decisions with integrity and that you know what you're doing/pursuing in life. Focus on this first, because women love a guy who can take care of himself and keep himself busy, just like how men love a woman who can be independent.
The other thing is that high school and early college dating isn't generally the wisest path to go down. It works for some or many people, i'm sure, but for most not really. I dated 6 girls between sophomore year of high school and junior year of college, and none lasted longer than 8 months. Sweet girls, but they weren't for me. The maturity fluctuates a lot. It's not that you can't understand girls or vice versa at that level, it just means people are not really set in life, and to get involved in a relationship in those circumstances only adds to the stress. There's too much pressure from academics and other aspects of life and maturity that can conflict with your personal choices in a relationship. People still have growing up to do in the college life. The fact is, you won't understand women completely, be it 5 years of marriage or 30 years. Women won't understand men completely either.
The questions you need to ask yourself are can I take care of myself right now? and Do I know what I want to do in life?, and others like those. If you aren't fully confident in who you are or where you're headed in life (career-wise), then how are you going to know how to uphold a relationship with a woman who wants you to be that man? A woman is not the answer to your life. I would focus on yourself first and really get set in stone with finances and what career you may want before you make the decision to take care of a woman, but if you wallow up your self-esteem and wonder why girls don't like you or whatever, then you're going to have a tougher time maintaining a potentially good relationship down the road.
But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right. Nailed it. Nailed what? His post is just old fashioned and backwards. Have your finance and career set in stone before entering a relationship? I hope that's some kind of terrible joke. I didn't say have your life all figured out first. I just said it's better to know who you are and what you're aiming for; an ambition to pursue something in life. A woman would much rather date this type of guy (even if he isn't 100% sure what he wants to do yet) than a guy who sits inside all day and applies online to jobs without having any ambition to learn something more. I don't know if the OP has a career path figured out yet or what, but based on his lower self-esteem and confidence in pursuing women, according to how he worded it, I'd say he would be better off getting his priorities in line first (to an extent at least), before going woman hunting because that won't really solve anything, especially at the age of 20. He would likely be more desperate and clingy in trying to get a girl to like him and trying to play the game right. It appears he wants a girlfriend just so that he can have a girlfriend. It's not the right mindset to have.But that's also why I said this in the last part of my post: But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right.
It seems to be a decent mindset when you're 20, though that phase should probably happen a bit sooner. Getting experience is the right mindset when you're young. I say any way he can get one is fine. He needs to make the mistakes and have terrible breakups before worrying about anything long-term. Because he's just not going to know anything if he doesn't get some experience first.
But yeah, get more hobbies and all that too.
Edit: Also don't think that people expect you to be perfect. They don't. So don't get hung up on yourself and your problems; everyone has something they need to work on, and the sooner you figure that out the sooner you'll quit hating yourself over minor bullshit.
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You had a girlfriend remember? Maybe if you weren't so power hungry and obsessed with revenge, your girlfriend might have forgiven you.
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On October 02 2013 08:26 Shauni wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2013 07:26 v1dom wrote:On October 02 2013 07:24 IronManSC wrote:
It sounds to me like you are inclined from peer pressure to have a girlfriend because everyone else is dating and you feel like you're "falling behind." You're nearly 21 years old, you're still really young. What I've learned over the years is that you want to be at least somewhat settled first, but most importantly you want to be an independent man. That doesn't necessarily mean living on your own, but rather you make your own decisions with integrity and that you know what you're doing/pursuing in life. Focus on this first, because women love a guy who can take care of himself and keep himself busy, just like how men love a woman who can be independent.
The other thing is that high school and early college dating isn't generally the wisest path to go down. It works for some or many people, i'm sure, but for most not really. I dated 6 girls between sophomore year of high school and junior year of college, and none lasted longer than 8 months. Sweet girls, but they weren't for me. The maturity fluctuates a lot. It's not that you can't understand girls or vice versa at that level, it just means people are not really set in life, and to get involved in a relationship in those circumstances only adds to the stress. There's too much pressure from academics and other aspects of life and maturity that can conflict with your personal choices in a relationship. People still have growing up to do in the college life. The fact is, you won't understand women completely, be it 5 years of marriage or 30 years. Women won't understand men completely either.
The questions you need to ask yourself are can I take care of myself right now? and Do I know what I want to do in life?, and others like those. If you aren't fully confident in who you are or where you're headed in life (career-wise), then how are you going to know how to uphold a relationship with a woman who wants you to be that man? A woman is not the answer to your life. I would focus on yourself first and really get set in stone with finances and what career you may want before you make the decision to take care of a woman, but if you wallow up your self-esteem and wonder why girls don't like you or whatever, then you're going to have a tougher time maintaining a potentially good relationship down the road.
But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right. Nailed it. Nailed what? His post is just old fashioned and backwards. Have your finance and career set in stone before entering a relationship? I hope that's some kind of terrible joke.
Completely agree with this guy (not the super long quote). Relationships need not be put on hold just because your life is not perfect, if so we would all be the last generation because rarely is anyone at that perfect level. Relationships can come at any time and any kinda trouble. Ya, even highschool losers have girlfriends, and I doubt most of them have anything in their life in order. Of course having more time to dedicate to your "girl" is never a bad thing, but don
t worry man, you can do it
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I haven't had a banana in a month, you don't see me bragging about it.
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On October 02 2013 09:19 MaxField wrote:Show nested quote +On October 02 2013 08:26 Shauni wrote:On October 02 2013 07:26 v1dom wrote:On October 02 2013 07:24 IronManSC wrote:
It sounds to me like you are inclined from peer pressure to have a girlfriend because everyone else is dating and you feel like you're "falling behind." You're nearly 21 years old, you're still really young. What I've learned over the years is that you want to be at least somewhat settled first, but most importantly you want to be an independent man. That doesn't necessarily mean living on your own, but rather you make your own decisions with integrity and that you know what you're doing/pursuing in life. Focus on this first, because women love a guy who can take care of himself and keep himself busy, just like how men love a woman who can be independent.
The other thing is that high school and early college dating isn't generally the wisest path to go down. It works for some or many people, i'm sure, but for most not really. I dated 6 girls between sophomore year of high school and junior year of college, and none lasted longer than 8 months. Sweet girls, but they weren't for me. The maturity fluctuates a lot. It's not that you can't understand girls or vice versa at that level, it just means people are not really set in life, and to get involved in a relationship in those circumstances only adds to the stress. There's too much pressure from academics and other aspects of life and maturity that can conflict with your personal choices in a relationship. People still have growing up to do in the college life. The fact is, you won't understand women completely, be it 5 years of marriage or 30 years. Women won't understand men completely either.
The questions you need to ask yourself are can I take care of myself right now? and Do I know what I want to do in life?, and others like those. If you aren't fully confident in who you are or where you're headed in life (career-wise), then how are you going to know how to uphold a relationship with a woman who wants you to be that man? A woman is not the answer to your life. I would focus on yourself first and really get set in stone with finances and what career you may want before you make the decision to take care of a woman, but if you wallow up your self-esteem and wonder why girls don't like you or whatever, then you're going to have a tougher time maintaining a potentially good relationship down the road.
But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right. Nailed it. Nailed what? His post is just old fashioned and backwards. Have your finance and career set in stone before entering a relationship? I hope that's some kind of terrible joke. Completely agree with this guy (not the super long quote). Relationships need not be put on hold just because your life is not perfect, if so we would all be the last generation because rarely is anyone at that perfect level. Relationships can come at any time and any kinda trouble. Ya, even highschool losers have girlfriends, and I doubt most of them have anything in their life in order. Of course having more time to dedicate to your "girl" is never a bad thing, but don t worry man, you can do it
It's a thing they heard in a movie or something. Don't settle and have kids until you've got your shit together (preferably). For dating though? Come on.
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I think you should go to the FKK
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My go to advice for this type of blog:
Get on CL/match/whatever.
Message as many FAT chicks as possible, of all ethnicities - even those you aren't comfortable with. Chat them, up, go on a date, and get them alone somehow.
They will put out.
100% guaranteed.
Confidence boosted.
Then work on skinny ones.
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On October 02 2013 12:42 Burrfoot wrote:
My go to advice for this type of blog:
Get on CL/match/whatever.
Message as many FAT chicks as possible, of all ethnicities - even those you aren't comfortable with. Chat them, up, go on a date, and get them alone somehow.
They will put out.
100% guaranteed.
Confidence boosted.
Then work on skinny ones.
Only thing fat chicks are good for: confidence boosting.
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No no no no. Fat chicks are like mopeds - fun to right, just don't let your friends find out... That's not exactly confidence boosting. Unless you're into that sort of thing.
OP, your goal in life shouldn't be to pick up girls - not if you want a healthy relationship. Ignore them. Focus on what drives you. Women respect self-confidence, and having confidence in yourself without needing to rely on the opposite gender's adoration makes you far more attractive a person. Also, looking good doesn't hurt. You live in Italy, so I'm certain it's not difficult for you to acquire proper bespoke clothing. A good suit and wardrobe helps you feel good about yourself and provides you with the clothing necessary for the working life.
There's a saying: Clothes don't make the man - the man wearing the clothes makes the man. Just be yourself and eventually you will find a girl who also finds you irresistible (perhaps after much persuasion). Either make them come to you or be really, really, really persistent. GL.
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Introverted nerds are the fat chicks of the male sex. Except they aren't even fun to ride.
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my official 3 part formula for getting a hot gf.
1) StrongLifts 5X5.
2) PrecisionNutrition.com
3) Camaro Z28.
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T_T OP is seriously misguided, I fear this is true for a large group of young adults. You don't unlock something called a girlfriend or sex like it's an achievement, you come accross someone you like and do fun things with them. The harder you try, the more desperate you get, the less likely you are to get a girl. My advice is to try and go to places you like (such as sports or hobbies), and hopefully there are girls there you can meet.
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On October 02 2013 06:54 Shauni wrote:
girls are never worth it, trust me
Please read Shauni's blog before you take him as an authority. Girls are awesome.
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On October 02 2013 07:24 IronManSC wrote:
It sounds to me like you are inclined from peer pressure to have a girlfriend because everyone else is dating and you feel like you're "falling behind." You're nearly 21 years old, you're still really young. What I've learned over the years is that you want to be at least somewhat settled first, but most importantly you want to be an independent man. That doesn't necessarily mean living on your own, but rather you make your own decisions with integrity and that you know what you're doing/pursuing in life. Focus on this first, because women love a guy who can take care of himself and keep himself busy, just like how men love a woman who can be independent.
The other thing is that high school and early college dating isn't generally the wisest path to go down. It works for some or many people, i'm sure, but for most not really. I dated 6 girls between sophomore year of high school and junior year of college, and none lasted longer than 8 months. Sweet girls, but they weren't for me. The maturity fluctuates a lot. It's not that you can't understand girls or vice versa at that level, it just means people are not really set in life, and to get involved in a relationship in those circumstances only adds to the stress. There's too much pressure from academics and other aspects of life and maturity that can conflict with your personal choices in a relationship. People still have growing up to do in the college life. The fact is, you won't understand women completely, be it 5 years of marriage or 30 years. Women won't understand men completely either.
The questions you need to ask yourself are can I take care of myself right now? and Do I know what I want to do in life?, and others like those. If you aren't fully confident in who you are or where you're headed in life (career-wise), then how are you going to know how to uphold a relationship with a woman who wants you to be that man? A woman is not the answer to your life. I would focus on yourself first and really get set in stone with finances and what career you may want before you make the decision to take care of a woman, but if you wallow up your self-esteem and wonder why girls don't like you or whatever, then you're going to have a tougher time maintaining a potentially good relationship down the road.
But, I am only speaking from particular experiences and people I know. Some do just fine if they date throughout college and get married afterwards. My only advice to you is to simply not worry about a relationship at this point and just focus on what you want to do in life. She'll come around naturally when the time is right.
I don`t post much anymore but this is a really good post. Agree fully. Personal identity is the most important thing for confidence because it comes from within yourself (not what others give you, which is what most people think as confidence).
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EPT
