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Losing in Challenger as a full-time player - Page 9

Blogs > Liquid`Snute
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cmgillett
Profile Joined March 2010
United States335 Posts
August 31 2013 14:19 GMT
#161
Thanks for the great blog. Competing is hard. Without the bitter, the sweet isn't as sweet! Will be rooting for you Snute, and smiling when you break through this latest barrier goodluck!
c0sm0naut
Profile Joined April 2011
United States1229 Posts
August 31 2013 16:40 GMT
#162
Snute you are a truly talented player and should ride this thing out. i played on a very competitive private baseball league towards the end of high school and was our teams weakest batter. My coach taught me to forget who I am when i step to the plate and now it's automatic.

Our personalities inside the game and out are different but people are unaware of that. The "outside the game" you wants attention for your skills, praise for your efforts and recognition for your talents. The "inside the game" you ONLY wants to win. He doesn't care about the money from the tournament, the attention it will bring him or how bad losing can feel. The outside you is often louder than the inside and gives you bad advice which will cause you to go for cheap wins or strategies instead of winning in a reliable way.
pms
Profile Joined April 2008
Poland611 Posts
August 31 2013 16:50 GMT
#163
Great read!

Just try being mindful about what you feel, think and do!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindfulness_(psychology)
bebop521
Profile Joined July 2013
United States23 Posts
August 31 2013 18:10 GMT
#164
been lurking on TL for quite some time (2-3 years) never really got around to making a account which i did a couple month ago. I can really relate to this blog because you see, in the past 10 years of my so called "sc career" i've always loved this game. knowing that there is no limit to how much you can do in a second in this game is actually unfathomable for me. fastforward from beta days to about 10 days ago, i've always been a diamond players even tho i knew i was better than most of the diamonds. But for some reason masters just seems so far away. season after season my subconscious just like the one Tom Hanks has in Cloud Atlas, feed me a web of lies about my assuring in winning the game. always sitting comfortable in my base not seeing if he's all-inning me, not scouting if he double expanded and when i lose my anger gets the best of me. Then something happened the last 10 days. I woke up one morning told myself I've been playing the game for how long? and I cant even make it masters? while these kids 18-19ish are raping grandmasters. Granted age isnt a issue here I know, but I've found motivation in those questions.
So i began practicing HARD. fuck anger, fuck that last all-in timing fuck that supply block that cost me the game. just hit the search button because you lost that all by yourself cant blame your opponent that you handed him the game. and a few day later volia masters.I must admit, I got a bit emotional because its been a long time coming and i knew i had it in me but never tried. So here to you snute keep on practicing one day hard work will pay off one way or another.
BlitchizSC2
Profile Joined August 2010
United States306 Posts
September 01 2013 00:29 GMT
#165
Snute fighting! Xeno is a kid still, when I was 15-16 years old there were lots of things I didn't have the stones to overcome its part of growing up. Xeno isn't in an enviorment like a KESPA household that fosters comradery, a common goal and has a support structure of experienced people and coaches etc. People grow and hopefully their triumphs can carry them through the tough times.

www.twitch.tv/blitchizsc2 | http://www.youtube.com/BlitchizStarcraft ~ fighting!
ThatOneGuy.
Profile Joined May 2011
United States5 Posts
September 01 2013 04:54 GMT
#166
I guess I will approach this topic by discussing my own experience trying to make it as a professional musician. I have been playing my instrument for about 10 years now. I have dedicated I don't know how many hours of practice into that piece of metal. The chances of making it into a full time orchestra are horribly low even if you are pretty darn good. I am 26 now and there are days when I sit down and wonder if I just started playing brass too late. There are days I wonder what if I had just gone full blown performance instead of getting a music education degree (which ate up sooo much time). Thinking about those things doesn't help me however.

One of the things I do appreciate about my education degree is that it can teach you how to learn. Knowing how to practice has got to be one of the most important things on the planet. Jumping back to when I was about twenty I started to feel really stuck with my playing. Things had been moving pretty sporadically up to that point. I had a couple large leaps in my playing ability but most of it was just a painstaking crawl. I was progressing so slowly that I remember thinking there was no way I could make it with other people moving faster than me. Then there were the long stretches where I would develop some kind of bad habit and my playing would get worse. I would spend months (in some cases years) trying to clean up some new stupid problem that had crept up.

About three years ago something started changing. I had spent so many years breaking through walls that it had started to become a habit. I have gotten so used to it that now when I reach my next wall it feels more like a pile of sand than Mt. Everest. What this has done for me is make my improvement very steady instead of sporadic. My last teacher commented on the fact that I was a strange student because of how consistently I improved. I could have a lesson with him and come back an hour later and be a better player. It took me seven years to figure out how to do just that.

It also took me seven years to figure out how to double tongue when there were people around me that could just seem to do it naturally. Now it is one of the things people complement me on when I play.

I was the absolute worst brass player on the planet when I started out. I actually saw people cringe when I played. I was bad and I knew it. Because I was so bad at everything that meant that I had to work on EVERYTHING. I remember a time I spent months playing nothing but whole notes trying to make a good sound. I was experimenting with where I put the mouthpiece and how my lips should be formed. I was determined to make the most beautiful sound possible. I remember crying having to listen to myself and know that if I couldn't figure it out then I might as well give up because who wants to listen to some barely audible gargly noise coming out the end of a bell?

Do you know what the number one compliment I receive is? That I have a beautiful sound. I took the absolute worst thing about my playing and made it the best. There was a concert a couple of years back where I played a lyrical solo in the middle of a band piece so well that it brought the audience to tears. I was surprised I could have that kind of emotional impact on people I didn't even know through my playing.

So what is the lesson in all of this? For one you have to get used to something called delayed gratification. If you really want something you have to be willing to put a ton of work into something now and wait for it to pay off way later. A very common payout time is about 2 years for a lot of things (you have been playing full time for about what? one year now?). It is okay, be patient with yourself. Getting better can really suck but at the same time it can be the best thing in the world. Do you know how good it felt to finally be able to double tongue after seven years? I felt like a million bucks when that started coming together. If you want to keep improving you have to find a way to practice that ensures that happens. You want to hit all of your injects so devote an hour a day to focusing on just your injects. Do that everyday for a year and that is 365 hours devoted to just hitting injects. I would think that you would be really good at it by then. Develop some kind of warm up routine dedicated to the mechanics of playing the game. I know some professional musicians that have a 2-3 hour warm up routine that they do everyday. They won't even touch etudes or music during that time.

If you are absolutely dedicated to getting better then I trust you will do whatever it takes to make that happen, but you have to be strategic in how your practice and you have to be incredibly patient with yourself. Good luck to you and I hope you enjoy the process of getting better as much as I have.
Beatmania
Profile Joined August 2011
England33 Posts
September 01 2013 13:05 GMT
#167
Amazing read. And sorry to hear you are burdened with this. Even playing and trying to improve in Masters I can relate to the tiniest part of your struggles. I can't imagine the depth of which it bothers you however.

There is one thing you seem to be lacking, or maybe it has been beaten out of you due to bad stints in game. Confidence. Confidence in your ability to become one of the best. You are going to have bad times, losing streaks. You will be tested immeasurably to the point you question whether or not it is worth it. You will doubt yourself and your confidence will take massive hits. But as you are here, playing the game to this level, somewhere deep down you believe you can be one of the best in the world. Don't let that vanish, believe it, inspire yourself and keep on going. Because that is the only way it will come to fruition. It may take years. But you have to keep believing in yourself.
Jintoss
Profile Joined November 2011
Hong Kong117 Posts
September 02 2013 07:54 GMT
#168
I think you just took another huge step on the path to becoming a champion.
We are the blades of Aiur
Elroi
Profile Joined August 2009
Sweden5588 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-02 12:53:49
September 02 2013 12:53 GMT
#169
I recognize what you are writing about so much. I have tried to play basketball and piano at a high level and I absolutely didn't have what it took to make it. But I think you have - and more importantly so does coach Park! But anyway, I have the deepest respect for you for trying.

Bättre lyss till den sträng som brast än att aldrig spänna en båge.
"To all eSports fans, I want to be remembered as a progamer who can make something out of nothing, and someone who always does his best. I think that is the right way of living, and I'm always doing my best to follow that." - Jaedong. /watch?v=jfghAzJqAp0
ThePrince
Profile Joined October 2010
Peru331 Posts
September 02 2013 14:31 GMT
#170
Reach your objective or die trying. If you want something that badly, you won't give up.
SK_MC, ST_Parting, STX_Bogus fighting!!! Colossi should shoot nukes and blink.
iGn1t3
Profile Joined May 2011
Hong Kong73 Posts
September 02 2013 16:02 GMT
#171
Life is always meant to be full of struggles and striving. Have faith that your unique sufferings and sacrifice do have a meaning, and what does not break you will make you stronger.
I lose today to win tomorrow.
Cuce
Profile Joined March 2011
Turkey1127 Posts
September 02 2013 16:02 GMT
#172
You are f-in AASGAARD!! When world falls on you you say I SAY THE NAY!

STAND TALL, STAND PROUD, AS IF YOU WILL NEVER FALL!
64K RAM SYSTEM 38911 BASIC BYTES FREE
CrazyF1r3f0x
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States2120 Posts
September 02 2013 19:09 GMT
#173
I'm glad you're sticking around Sheth.
"Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the overcompensations for misery."
Sefer
Profile Joined August 2013
47 Posts
September 03 2013 05:33 GMT
#174
Well seeing some of your recent games on the KR ladder in ZvT looked like you were in your best shape yet, and it was some ferocious ZvT, just like Scarlett's, but I guess you know better.

You've been like my favorite Zerg since 2011 when you used to stream a lot, I only say "like" because Jaedong and Scarlett are also pretty awesome. I wish you the best and will always be rooting for you (full honesty: if it's you versus Jaedong I will have to resign to being happy with either result).
zeniasvalharik
Profile Joined April 2011
United States19 Posts
September 04 2013 02:31 GMT
#175
Let your ability to focus and overarching mental approach be what defines you, not StarCraft 2 or any specific hobby. You can apply your focus, for however long, towards whatever task you decide. This trait is something that goes beyond the shelf life of any competition. If winning a game of StarCraft 2 is still something that you find really fun then reapply your focus to the task at hand, and that is exploring build orders and not messing up basic mechanics, so when you find yourself in high pressure games the essentials are in muscle memory.

If you feel like you are missing out on something in the -going out for the evening life- then just check that out for a couple weekends until you reaffirm that all that stuff is boring.

If you feel stifled intellectually read a graduate level book from that subject, then go back to the ladder--don't let doubt get the best of ya--I have really enjoyed your stream, you are not afraid to try fresh builds and that is great for casual viewers.
Crownlol
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
United States3726 Posts
September 05 2013 14:28 GMT
#176
On August 28 2013 21:56 Liquid`Sheth wrote:
I'll just be the standard guy cheering you on bud. You can do it


Sheeeeeeth we miss you! At least cast a few, man.
shaGuar :: elemeNt :: XeqtR :: naikon :: method
Crownlol
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
United States3726 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-09-05 14:52:38
September 05 2013 14:43 GMT
#177
On August 31 2013 02:50 NonY wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 29 2013 09:36 Jett.Jack.Alvir wrote:
@Yapa

His honesty resonates with everyone. We can all feel worthless sometimes, and some more than others. That feeling of not good enough can be applied to everything we do in life. I applying it to Starcraft 2 is great though, because it gives other people who are striving to be pro an insight to the struggles involved.

I believe Nony had the same sentiment before. Didn't he state he had developed depression due to Starcraft 2?

No it was from before I was even a competitive SC:BW player.


Depression can come out of freakin' nowhere man. Even at some of my most successful points in life, I've had tough bouts with depression. I've been completely clear for a bout 4 years now, feelsgoodman.

I know you've probably had 10,000 people tell you their various take on it, but for me (as a gamer), the feeling is always thwarted when I'm working towards something. Idling in my life has always made me slowly hate everything, but as long as I'm making progress towards something, anything, I feel much better. Academia has always helped: if you have an Associate's, get a Bachelor's. If you have a Bachelor's go to grad school. If that's not your jam, get a certification. For some reason, advancing myself in a way that is seen as valuable to "normal" people, non-gamers, my parents, etc. has always made me proud and fulfilled. I realize how silly it is that my self-worth is often predicated by how others view me, but it's how I am. Once I feel that way, I can game as hard as I want and really enjoy it. Everyone needs depth in life- if you're placing all of your self-value in your results, you're going to beat yourself up every time you lose.

YMMV, but it might be a new angle for ya.
shaGuar :: elemeNt :: XeqtR :: naikon :: method
Mortal
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
2943 Posts
September 05 2013 15:29 GMT
#178
man i didn't know xeno took his loss so hard.
The universe created an audience for itself.
EdgeSC
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
119 Posts
September 06 2013 01:25 GMT
#179
my respect to you sir, keep doing what you do.
twitch.tv/edgesc
DerZerfetzer
Profile Joined December 2010
Germany43 Posts
September 08 2013 17:26 GMT
#180
I can relate to what you're saying. I was never good at copying&perfecting but that is a skill you need in sc2. I always try to find my own way to do it. For example i make drones when i see hellions and dont make lings and defend with queens. I have made a few unorthodox strategies in wc3 and sc2. Orthodox play never works for me. But unorthodox play gives you a plateau. As soon as meta changes you need to restart. i just studied computer science and hope i will be able to succeed in programming.
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