EPTpurgatory - Page 2
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
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QuanticHawk
United States32135 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On July 30 2013 04:52 QuanticHawk wrote: Oh please, now you're just being insulting. I can do a lot better than calling someone pathetic if I just wanted a drive-by glib comment. That's calling a spade a spade. Oh please, then nobody would believe that your intentions are positive. | ||
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10346 Posts
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Targe
United Kingdom14103 Posts
On July 29 2013 23:27 sgfightmaster wrote: My ex-girlfriend recently met a guy so perfect he was probably carved from the granite of Mount Olympus and gifted abilities to match. Based on what I recall from the things she told me, he writes poetry, takes beautiful photographs, does charcoal sketches, plays both the viola and electric guitar, is a law school student and other things I can't even remember, maybe he served on the Secret Service or was part of Seal Team Six or something, it's not impossible. That opening line made me laugh so hard, nice writing :D | ||
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Japhybaby
Canada301 Posts
On July 30 2013 05:29 Targe wrote: That opening line made me laugh so hard, nice writing :D Yeah good writing!!  | ||
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MysteryMeat1
United States3292 Posts
OP: if there was a /ignore command for rl, then you should use it on this girl | ||
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REDBLUEGREEN
Germany1904 Posts
In fact I think people like Hawk who decide to run away, trying to erase the girls from their lives and not acknowledge their feelings because they can't stand the occasional sorrow or pain, while thinking they act manly, are the truly pathetic ones You chose the courageous and noble way to go about it but not the easy one. You have to decide for yourself if the relationship is giving you more joy or sorrow. If it is giving you more sorrow it is of course totally fine to break of contact, I just find it kind of funny when people like Hawk call people like you pathetic when they are the ones who decided to flee instead of fight. If you want to keep the friendship you should be honest towards her about your feelings though. Friendships and relationships are both build on honesty. Just don't expect to get back together with her and give other girls a chance. Go work out, get nice clothes, meet other girls. Best case scenario: You will look so hot, she will fall in love with you again. Worst case scenario: You have fun with other girls who you might love too one day (it is totally possible to love more then 1 person at once) and you end up having a friendship with a person you really care about. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32135 Posts
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FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
On July 30 2013 09:04 REDBLUEGREEN wrote: You are not pathetic at all. In fact I think people like Hawk who decide to run away, trying to erase the girls from their lives and not acknowledge their feelings because they can't stand the occasional sorrow or pain, while thinking they act manly, are the truly pathetic ones You chose the courageous and noble way to go about it but not the easy one. You have to decide for yourself if the relationship is giving you more joy or sorrow. If it is giving you more sorrow it is of course totally fine to break of contact, I just find it kind of funny when people like Hawk call people like you pathetic when they are the ones who decided to flee instead of fight. If you want to keep the friendship you should be honest towards her about your feelings though. Friendships and relationships are both build on honesty. Just don't expect to get back together with her and give other girls a chance. Go work out, get nice clothes, meet other girls. Best case scenario: You will look so hot, she will fall in love with you again. Worst case scenario: You have fun with other girls who you might love too one day (it is totally possible to love more then 1 person at once) and you end up having a friendship with a person you really care about. How is he being courageous? He's avoiding confrontation and bottling up his feelings. Its not like he's explained how he feels towards her in an honest and direct manner. Also 'noble' is such a silly description, don't allow him to try justify behaviour that clearly is unhealthy for his general psyche. The reason why he should be cutting off contact is to allow himself to get over her, to find something he can do for himself, a hobby, a passion something or even another girl so he can say to himself "You know what? There are lots of girls out there, I shouldn't be so caught up over one girl" or "Life is awesome as it is, a woman should be a nice extra, my life should not be built around a girl". Its ok to be friends with exes or girls as long as you aren't pining so hard for her like this guy is. http://markmanson.net/everything-you-need | ||
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maggle
Australia70 Posts
On July 30 2013 09:04 REDBLUEGREEN wrote: You are not pathetic at all. In fact I think people like Hawk who decide to run away, trying to erase the girls from their lives and not acknowledge their feelings because they can't stand the occasional sorrow or pain, while thinking they act manly, are the truly pathetic ones You chose the courageous and noble way to go about it but not the easy one. You have to decide for yourself if the relationship is giving you more joy or sorrow. If it is giving you more sorrow it is of course totally fine to break of contact, I just find it kind of funny when people like Hawk call people like you pathetic when they are the ones who decided to flee instead of fight. If you want to keep the friendship you should be honest towards her about your feelings though. Friendships and relationships are both build on honesty. Just don't expect to get back together with her and give other girls a chance. Go work out, get nice clothes, meet other girls. Best case scenario: You will look so hot, she will fall in love with you again. Worst case scenario: You have fun with other girls who you might love too one day (it is totally possible to love more then 1 person at once) and you end up having a friendship with a person you really care about. Don't listen to this guy. There is nothing courageous nor noble about what you're doing. In fact, it's probably the opposite. You're too chicken to break off contact with her because you're afraid you'll lose her from your life. You claim that you can't let her go but that's not true at all - you've never even tried. Just break off contact for a year; I bet you won't even remember what she looks like. Obviously, you don't always have to cut off ties with your ex but you're an extreme case. You're in LaLa land. You're clinging onto a sliver of hope that ONE day you'll be able to get back with her - this mindset will ruin all other chances you have of a real fucking relationship. This girl is clearly poison. No decent human being would be bragging about their current relationship to their ex-boyfriend while still telling him he's a plan B if nothing else works out (so really you're more like a plan Z). To put things bluntly, you've placed her on the pedestal and she treats you like dogshit - find someone who actually treats you the way you treat them. And I apologise for sounding harsh but god fucking damn it, reading bad advice just tilts me. | ||
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Daswollvieh
5553 Posts
Redbluegreen, there is nothing noble, nor courageous about his choice. In fact, he does not make a choice, hence he is stuck and knows it. Best thing is to realize there can be no friendship at all, if he wants to get back on his feet again. Problem is, in that situation, you don´t want to get back on your feet, just stay close no matter the price. But it won´t work, and she is being a tremendously immature about it, not sympathizing even a tiny bit. OP has to realize she is a bitch playing with him and get the hell outta there. | ||
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woreyour
582 Posts
a. she makes you jelly which gives us sub reasons: 1a. she really likes you in truth 1b. she must have been so fucked up about you she is torturing you. b. she made you her bitch (gay friend she could tell shit kind), that kind of gay friend she never had. so my actions would be clarify if which one are you, and end your torment. If she likes you fine go for it, if not, dont let her use you, dont be her bitch! grow a pair and face this or go look for another girl. or you can stay in the "friend zone" but fuck her on the side, that way you are even and switch it to "friendzone with benefits" | ||
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BigAsia
Canada451 Posts
Oh and don't take anything Hawk says seriously, here is what a guy looks like that takes cheap shots at others on the internet + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://wiki.teamliquid.net/starcraft/images2/thumb/0/07/Hawk_2012ESWC.jpg/300px-Hawk_2012ESWC.jpg) just saying... | ||
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REDBLUEGREEN
Germany1904 Posts
On July 30 2013 14:44 Daswollvieh wrote: Redbluegreen, there is nothing noble, nor courageous about his choice. In fact, he does not make a choice, hence he is stuck and knows it. Best thing is to realize there can be no friendship at all, if he wants to get back on his feet again. Problem is, in that situation, you don´t want to get back on your feet, just stay close no matter the price. But it won´t work, and she is being a tremendously immature about it, not sympathizing even a tiny bit. OP has to realize she is a bitch playing with him and get the hell outta there. There can be friendship. It worked for me and it worked for some of my friends, it just takes longer to get over her. In the end though you end up with some new girls and retaining a possibly great friendship with your ex. The ones who decided to break of contact on the other hand are the ones who will tell you "Oh shit I saw my ex in this club, let's go change location" because they never really dealt with their emotions and are used to just running away from it. There's gonna be a point in life where you can't use that tactic anymore, be it that you and your ex share many friends or that you have kids or something. If you have never learned at that point how to deal with these emotional problems on your own without running away it's gonna be much worse, especially if you have kids. Also, I don't see how his ex is being a bitch or jerking him around. I see it like woreyour that there are 3 ways to interpret her behavior based on the information in the OP. 1) She still has feelings for him and wants to make him jealous. 2) She is not aware how strongly OP still feels about her and that telling him about her new bf might hurt him, in which case it is the OPs job to be honest to her and if he doesn't want to hear about her new bf he has to tell her. 3) She is a bitch and tells him just to hurt him. No need to automatically assume the worst of people imo. BigAsia's advice is solid too. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32135 Posts
On July 31 2013 00:27 REDBLUEGREEN wrote: There can be friendship. It worked for me and it worked for some of my friends, it just takes longer to get over her. In the end though you end up with some new girls and retaining a possibly great friendship with your ex. The ones who decided to break of contact on the other hand are the ones who will tell you "Oh shit I saw my ex in this club, let's go change location" because they never really dealt with their emotions and are used to just running away from it. Yes, nothing says great friendship with an ex like 'If I never get married, I am counting on you to take care of me' Also, please do locate at what point anyone here advocated something as childish as booking out of a club because you saw your ex. So op, what have you decided to do?? | ||
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