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My ex-girlfriend recently met a guy so perfect he was probably carved from the granite of Mount Olympus and gifted abilities to match. Based on what I recall from the things she told me, he writes poetry, takes beautiful photographs, does charcoal sketches, plays both the viola and electric guitar, is a law school student and other things I can't even remember, maybe he served on the Secret Service or was part of Seal Team Six or something, it's not impossible.
Wow. I can barely tie my shoelaces.
So not 5 minutes ago, she texts me saying "I wanna learn electric guitar from him <3 <3 <3 we can have hot times together."
I'm still in love with her. We broke up 1.5 years ago after about 10 months together, but through all that time I've never stopped having feelings for her. My response to her was "Yeah you should". And at that moment, I realized that exchange pretty much crystallized our relationship since we broke up. I can't let her go, and I'll always be her friend. I'll be there for her whenever she needs it, because God knows I need her too. She could call me at 2am sobbing and I'd come running to wherever she asked. She knows this too, and yet I'd never call her manipulative. She enjoys my friendship and maybe some of you might say "Why would you put yourself through all this? You don't need to endure such pain." but you know what? To quote something I read recently, "maybe I was friendzoned, but she didn't ask to be girlfriendzoned." What kind of guy would I be if I made friends with her only to date her, then ditch her when I realize I've no chance at all? A despicable, dishonorable chauvinist, that's the kind of guy I'd be. And I'm not that kind of guy.
A while back, she told me, "If I never get married, I'm counting on you to take care of me." Wow. Wow.
I guess I never thought I'd find myself here, but here is where I am - a modern-day purgatory: the dreaded, sweetly agonizing Friendzone.
 
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On July 29 2013 23:27 sgfightmaster wrote:
A while back, she told me, "If I never get married, I'm counting on you to take care of me." Wow. Wow.
I don't want to be pessimistic or anything, you seem to be quite comfortable with this friendship and whatnot... but that line I'm quoting, how could you possibly see this as a compliment?
For one, this means you're her backup plan when shit hits the fan.
Also, although maybe she didn't think of that, it kind of assumes you'll always be available.
You seem to like quotes so I have a quote/paraphrase of Louis CK about women: "You stay pretty much like this for your entire life, and they don't... their options start running out really fast, and YOU'RE gonna be there [...] you're gonna be amazing in your 40's, you're gonna be the branch that she can grab before she hits the ground"
So while I can appreciate that you value this friendship, getting tagged for #1 "branch that I can grab before I hit the ground" should never be taken as a compliment. So I strongly disagree with that "Wow wow" of yours.
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She's friendzoned you but you haven't friendzoned her. She's no longer looking for a relationship with you, although, you're still looking for a relationship with her. If you want to stay friends, that's fine, but you should ensure that you've moved on from her in terms of females who you're looking for a relationship with.
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I might call her manipulative. why is she bragging about him to you? Isn't that malicious and inconsiderate? that's what i think. either way whatever.
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On July 30 2013 00:23 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On July 29 2013 23:27 sgfightmaster wrote:
A while back, she told me, "If I never get married, I'm counting on you to take care of me." Wow. Wow. I don't want to be pessimistic or anything, you seem to be quite comfortable with this friendship and whatnot... but that line I'm quoting, how could you possibly see this as a compliment? For one, this means you're her backup plan when shit hits the fan. Also, although maybe she didn't think of that, it kind of assumes you'll always be available. You seem to like quotes so I have a quote/paraphrase of Louis CK about women: "You stay pretty much like this for your entire life, and they don't... their options start running out really fast, and YOU'RE gonna be there [...] you're gonna be amazing in your 40's, you're gonna be the branch that she can grab before she hits the ground" So while I can appreciate that you value this friendship, getting tagged for #1 "branch that I can grab before I hit the ground" should never be taken as a compliment. So I strongly disagree with that "Wow wow" of yours.
I didn't see it as a compliment really, I actually know how bad that means things are. It means I'm waaaaaaaaay in the friendzone, lol.
To the other guy, I've given up hope really, kind of resigned to this crappy situation. Just had a lot of feels at this moment.
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On July 29 2013 23:27 sgfightmaster wrote:
My ex-girlfriend recently met a guy so perfect he was probably carved from the granite of Mount Olympus and gifted abilities to match. Based on what I recall from the things she told me, he writes poetry, takes beautiful photographs, does charcoal sketches, plays both the viola and electric guitar, is a law school student and other things I can't even remember, maybe he served on the Secret Service or was part of Seal Team Six or something, it's not impossible.
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAADFJASOIFJASDKFASDLFKJASFLASDJFDSALFJASDF;LAJFSAD;F. I laughed, SO hard reading this, hahaha. This doesn't sound like she's friendzoned you at all, it sounds like she's making you jelly. Btw, if he's a marine, he doesn't write poetry, if he takes beautiful photographs he probably isn't a law student and dating her and writing poetry and playing electric guitar and saving poor african children while carving his face into mount olympus's side. It sounds like she wants you, and not this guy, honestly.
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On July 30 2013 00:37 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On July 29 2013 23:27 sgfightmaster wrote:
My ex-girlfriend recently met a guy so perfect he was probably carved from the granite of Mount Olympus and gifted abilities to match. Based on what I recall from the things she told me, he writes poetry, takes beautiful photographs, does charcoal sketches, plays both the viola and electric guitar, is a law school student and other things I can't even remember, maybe he served on the Secret Service or was part of Seal Team Six or something, it's not impossible.
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAADFJASOIFJASDKFASDLFKJASFLASDJFDSALFJASDF;LAJFSAD;F. I laughed, SO hard reading this, hahaha. This doesn't sound like she's friendzoned you at all, it sounds like she's making you jelly. Btw, if he's a marine, he doesn't write poetry, if he takes beautiful photographs he probably isn't a law student and dating her and writing poetry and playing electric guitar and saving poor african children while carving his face into mount olympus's side. It sounds like she wants you, and not this guy, honestly.
she wants zeus in the flesh but she wants OPs precious heart because it's worth breaking
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On July 30 2013 00:37 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On July 29 2013 23:27 sgfightmaster wrote:
My ex-girlfriend recently met a guy so perfect he was probably carved from the granite of Mount Olympus and gifted abilities to match. Based on what I recall from the things she told me, he writes poetry, takes beautiful photographs, does charcoal sketches, plays both the viola and electric guitar, is a law school student and other things I can't even remember, maybe he served on the Secret Service or was part of Seal Team Six or something, it's not impossible.
HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAADFJASOIFJASDKFASDLFKJASFLASDJFDSALFJASDF;LAJFSAD;F. I laughed, SO hard reading this, hahaha. This doesn't sound like she's friendzoned you at all, it sounds like she's making you jelly. Btw, if he's a marine, he doesn't write poetry, if he takes beautiful photographs he probably isn't a law student and dating her and writing poetry and playing electric guitar and saving poor african children while carving his face into mount olympus's side. It sounds like she wants you, and not this guy, honestly.
Hold your horses now... sometimes you get friendzoned so hard, she'll talk to you like you're her sorority girl friend. You're probably seeing it wrong  ...
That said OP, I think that if you want to maintain this friendship you have with her, you should perhaps treat her more like a friend and less like a girlfriend in the first place. If my ex called me crying, I'd probably refer her to one of her female buddies, who's better suited to deal with her shit. My friends who call my phone during the night have an emergency for me to deal with, not feels. I'll deal with your feels in the afternoon if you're a buddy, with a beer.
You say she's not manipulative but you're her guy buddy that she can drag around and doesn't mind inconveniencing in the middle of the night.
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On July 30 2013 00:23 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On July 29 2013 23:27 sgfightmaster wrote:
A while back, she told me, "If I never get married, I'm counting on you to take care of me." Wow. Wow. I don't want to be pessimistic or anything, you seem to be quite comfortable with this friendship and whatnot... but that line I'm quoting, how could you possibly see this as a compliment? For one, this means you're her backup plan when shit hits the fan. Also, although maybe she didn't think of that, it kind of assumes you'll always be available. You seem to like quotes so I have a quote/paraphrase of Louis CK about women: "You stay pretty much like this for your entire life, and they don't... their options start running out really fast, and YOU'RE gonna be there [...] you're gonna be amazing in your 40's, you're gonna be the branch that she can grab before she hits the ground" So while I can appreciate that you value this friendship, getting tagged for #1 "branch that I can grab before I hit the ground" should never be taken as a compliment. So I strongly disagree with that "Wow wow" of yours.
I agree with you, as of right now as plain text that looks exactly as the way you described it. My only problem is the context and it so hard to tell because it wasn't typed out to him originally. My opinion is its not a compliment, but its neither the opposite end. If you feel she was being sincere then its true but don't get your self caught up if it doesn't work that way.
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That is such a toxic relationship. The worst thing about the "friendzone" is that you aren't being honest with yourself or with her. You don't want to be friends, you want to be boy friend and girl friend again. She has dangled out little bit of hope for you to snatch up and run with, and it seems like you are clinging on that for dear life.
In a mature relationship, the biggest benefits is trust and exclusivity, which ultimately leads to a sense of security. The hallmark of a good relationship is that it puts you in a place where you can comfortably focus on other parts of your life. You won't find that here. Ever. You have known each other for two years, dated for 10 months, if she was really into you it all would have happened now. If you got back together you would be her back up option, her standby tell she gets bored or finds something new, and you would always know that deep inside. You said before, "What kind of guy would I be if I made friends with her only to date her, then ditch her when I realize I've no chance at all?". You would be a person looking out for your own self interest. You have to take care of your self first, and be a strong independent person in your own right before you can be good for anybody else. It is completely unhealthy to put someone else's needs above your own. The sad truth is that even if she took you back, you probably wouldn't even make her happy. People need a partner that they can respect, that isn't an emotional drain on them, and with your dependency, neediness, and how hung up you are you couldn't be her equal. If she is your friend, fine, let her be your friend. Ground rules though; you don't want to hear about her boyfriend so don't talk to her about it. If she calls you at 2am in the morning, that isn't your job to comfort her that is her boyfriends job and her moms job. Don't take on the emotional support role of her boyfriend because she won't reciprocate the emotional support of a girlfriend. You will torture yourself and leave yourself empty and bitter.
Fuck, you probably won't listen to me no matter what I say anyway. Keep at it bro. If you love her enough, and you are always there for her, and you just believe everything will work out I promise. Looking forward to the follow up blog a year from now.
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Sounds like she´s a pretty princess that enjoys to be courted. You satisfy her selfish need for adoration and she graces you with her delightful presence in exchange, pretending to see only what you show her, because it is so convenient that way. I have a friend who´s going through a similar situation right now, and it´s awful. You have my sympathies, and I hope you have a good friend who tells you over and over that she´s a selfish, deceitful bitch and that you´re lucky she´s gone.
P.S.: If that guy is real, break off all contact if possible. Queen bees can do terrible, terrible damage to a young soul.
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She's dating someone from Seal Team Six you say.
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/KQ8IAQZl.jpg)
Ohhhhhh, I'm sorry! That title was so close! But the P word we are looking for here was Pathetic! Better luck next time
User was warned for this post
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If the relationship is painful to you, end it.
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United States10341 Posts
Dance, puppet. Dance 
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Time to delete her phonenumber and everything else you have related to her.
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As any good player of CS can tell you, Seal Team Six was officially disbanded in 1987 and is now simply a nickname for DEVGRU.
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How about you develop some fucking self respect, learn some boundaries, tell her you aren't her bitch, cut her off, get over her and move the fuck on.
And yeah Hawk is right, you sound so pathetic.
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No reason to be a dick. He's got shit to deal with and I can't imagine calling him pathetic is doing him any good.
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she's been allowed to walk all over him for a year and a half. do you not think that his friends have tried the whole nice approach about telling him to man the fuck up?? it clearly hasn't worked
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EPT
