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My TL Story: Second Try

Blogs > DamageControL
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DamageControL
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States4222 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-01 12:07:08
July 01 2013 11:45 GMT
#1
This is neither hello nor goodbye. This is my second attempt to write this blog.* I am not leaving TeamLiquid.net. I have not hit some ludicrously high post count. I am simply heading towards a different stage of my life soon and I am reflecting, as I leave college, about everything that has shaped my life up until this point. I’m a little scared of the future and a lot excited. My chosen field requires huge amounts of testosterone and bravado that I’m not sure I have. It also requires many hours of work that I’m worried will destroy my relationship with my girlfriend and friends. But I know this: at the end of the day, I can turn on my computer, go to TL, and feel like I’ve returned home.

There’s a stigma against saying that a website is important to you. It’s just some data on a screen, people say. I reject that notion. Team Liquid has been there for me, like family, for years. I’ve gotten in arguments, been blatantly insulted by Chill, been warned (but never banned). Ultimately, though, what I remember most is celebrating with the people here. When SKT won the last ProLeague. When Bisu won his second and third MSL’s. When HuK won an MLG. And I also remember the disappointments. Every OSL run for Bisu. Mind in the MSL. KT Fingerbang in the second-to-last true proleague. This website, these people, and me have been through a lot together. For better or worse, I love them.

I first came to Starcraft early in my high school career. I was 5 foot even, had braces, and was fat. I did not fit in and I did not have many friends. Loneliness is crushing. Most people, I think, need a community of support. I desperately wanted to feel as though I belonged to something. When I found teamliquid, I did not, of course immediately find a bastion of warmth and happiness. But over time, I found myself coming back more and more often. I signed up for an account. I followed tournaments. I began posting. And slowly but surely, I found home.

I made friends, of course. Over time, my need for TL as a community diminished. I still visited frequently, but it was to check on tournaments rather than to just hang out. I still felt happy to be here. I just didn’t need it anymore, that same way I needed it before. And so Team Liquid became just another website in my life for a time.

That wasn’t the end. When I got to college, life was worse than early high school: I had friends, I knew what it was like to have a real life support group, and it got pulled away from me. I wasn’t a great student in High School but I received a full tuition scholarship to my institution and there was now pressure to excel academically on top of the pressure to be social. I’ve read that a full 1/3 of college students are depressed in their freshman year. I wish I knew that then. It seemed like everyone, from my debate coach to my mom, expected me to be having a great time. I was miserable. I considered transferring. I considered suicide. Team Liquid was one of the only things keeping me grounded. Team Liquid kept me from going insane. Team Liquid was family.

The community has changed. SC2 has changed it. I don’t resent it: we’re huge now, a force to be reckoned with. I miss the old days, sometimes, but I welcome the new. Seeing 300+ pages in a tournament thread is wonderful. Seeing so many people with the excitement and dedication to reach 10,000+ post counts is awesome. The SC2 community can be fickle and often stupid (as any large community tends to be). But I love the passion. Yes, that can hurt us. We pitchfork and rant and yell and have a mob mentality—but only because we love the game and hate it when people disrespect it. That hasn’t changed. That’s the same love I felt from TL for Brood War and is why I keep coming back.

I’ve changed too. I don’t come to TL as often. I don’t browse for hours and hours, and there are weeks I don’t come at all. When I do visit, I generally don’t post. I almost never post in general discussion. I don’t have time to play the game myself anymore, although I enjoy watching the pros. I was D+ in iccup. I’m a platinum player here. I’ve never been very good but I don’t think that’s important. Because like everyone else, I love the game.

I’ve never really made an impact here. I haven’t posted brilliant blogs. I’ve never made a live report OP. I was never a mod. I don’t have a lot to say for the most part and I only have one thing to say now: thank you TL. I’ll be around.

*Last time, I edited out because it was quite personal. Someone messaged me who saw the unedited version and said it resonated with them--I do care about what people think, unfortunately, when it matters. This story matters, at least to me. I would have been upset if I was flamed.

**any edits are aesthetic, grammatical, or I might have missed something. I apologize for the mediocre writing; I am a mediocre writer.


***
Liquid | SKT
Plexa
Profile Blog Joined October 2005
Aotearoa39261 Posts
July 01 2013 12:24 GMT
#2
You also played at least once game of mafia, because I remember you from that!!
Administrator~ Spirit will set you free ~
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
July 01 2013 15:01 GMT
#3
On July 01 2013 21:24 Plexa wrote:
You also played at least once game of mafia, because I remember you from that!!


What made that one game so memorable?
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
Capped
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United Kingdom7236 Posts
July 01 2013 17:23 GMT
#4
On July 02 2013 00:01 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2013 21:24 Plexa wrote:
You also played at least once game of mafia, because I remember you from that!!


What made that one game so memorable?


DamageControl owned him. :D (idk, guessing)
Useless wet fish.
DamageControL
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States4222 Posts
July 02 2013 02:23 GMT
#5
On July 02 2013 00:01 AnachronisticAnarchy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2013 21:24 Plexa wrote:
You also played at least once game of mafia, because I remember you from that!!


What made that one game so memorable?

I have no idea!

I never participated in more than one.
Liquid | SKT
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