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Majority of my good friends both that I have made over the years from 13 years of Starcraft and both through work/college/school/etc... are aware that I have been going through a grueling divorce and custody battle for the past year.
I always heard horror stories about how "the legal system always favor the woman" throughout a divorce. And now I can see just that it is very true. I'm not a stupid individual, far from it. I spent 2 years doing law school and I have 2 degrees outside that. I'm not a terrible father, if anything I would say I'm a great father to my daughter. But one thing remains, and that is how biased, sexist and pathetic the legal system truly is.
To begin, my daughter was born in November 2008, throughout the pregnancy (if anyone has kids will be aware of this), my ex-wife was blood tested for numerous issues such as diabetes, stds and the like. Everything came back fine and normal. Ok cool story right? Remember this paragraph because it will come into play later.
I go back to United States Air-Force because I wanted to provide a life for my daughter that she deserves. No worries about a paycheck, no worries about having a house, no worries about growing up and being protected and safe. I did just that. While I was gone for the military in July 2009 until November 2009, my ex-wife at the time was pregnant yet again. Trust me Ive added up the times and they don't make sense to me nor do they make sense to family/friends as well. Throughout these months I received numerous letters/calls stating that she was in control, and she was gonna be doing this and doing that. Cool story bro? Remember this paragraph as well, it does come into play later.
So I come back, move down to Florida for my next base. During this time, I was there for 2.5 years. Sure who can complain right? It's Florida. Sunny weather, sandy beaches, babes in bikinis, fantastic location right? Not for me. My ex-wife did nothing but start to ruin my military career here. She would not do anything to maintain the house, wouldn't clean, wouldn't pick-up toys or do laundry. I was working 8-12 hours a day both days and nights, and I'd come home and have to be the one who does it. It took me literally 10 minutes max, to put clothes in a washing machine, move clothes to a dryer, pick up toys, vacuum the floor and get dishes in a dishwasher. So why couldn't she? "She didnt have enough time in the day". Cool story.
So while we were stationed in Florida, one evening I got called into work to watch a alert mission that was unannounced. My ex-wife was informed and she was going to watch our daughter for the night. That night, she threw a fit didn't want to go sleep, she was 18 months old, that's what she is gonna do. My ex-wife put a pillow, A PILLOW, over her face to make her stop crying. I never knew about this until I got a phone call from my Squadron Commander stating I was gonna be receiving a knock at my door from CPS and Police. I was furious, upset, frustrated but most of all disappointed. This all occurred because my ex-wife openly admitted this to a mental health physician two days later.
A investigation took place both through civilian and military. This is still relevant today.
Ok speed up the clocks. Now in Washington. My ex-wife followed the same trends, not wanting to do anything, sitting there ignoring everything. Now my shifts were all 12 hours, majority nights. I was still picking up all the slack. Enough was enough. I filed for divorce and moved out, she stayed in base housing. When I did this, my ex got involved in some cult sect or over aggressive form of a church where she threw away all of my daughters clothes and replaced with very long dresses, removed all electronics and toys and so on. Ok cool? I spent over $500 in clothes just to replace them for my daughter so she had stuff to where with me, bought her plenty of toys, a new bed for her to sleep in and even a dog to have.
So time for the fun legal stuff. My ex goes to get a restraining order against me because shes been "Mentally" abused. She gets it granted. I dont get to speak to my daughter from October 2012 until December 2012. I missed her birthday couldn't even say happy birthday to her on the phone without being in contempt and arrested. I get the restraining order reversed after spending $10k on a attorney just to be able to talk to my daughter.
My ex starts getting her friends to write under oath statements against me saying on this specific date at this specific time they saw me beat my daughter and verbally abuse my ex-wife. Three of these statements surfaced. Ok cool. Moving on, she gets her friends to come by my apartment to harass me and try messing with me. It got so bad one night that it actually made the newspaper and a harassment report was filed against them by the police officer who didn't even show up because it was on private property.
Next thing, my ex-wife leaves base housing and caused $1100 in damages to the house that I'm responsible for because "im the military member" however i moved out in August and the court order that was placed dictated she was the primary resident and responsible authority of that residence.
Next thing, my daughter starts coming to me with bruises all over her body, she was informing me of the abusive things her mother and mothers "cult sect" friends were doing to her such as hitting her, cussing at her, grabbing her and so on. It got to the point where my daughter hit herself in her frontal portion of her abdomen (groin) so I took her to the hospital for potential sexual abuse. Child services sends over a case worker, interviews take place, a call is made to CPS. NOTHING HAPPENS. Cps never investigated not once. By state law, CPS is ordered to investigate any form of child abuse whether physical, sexual, verbal or emotional to include neglect. Never happened.
Continuing on, more abuse happens, I find more marks on her, take her back to the hospital, another case worker gets involved, makes another report to CPS, and again, NOTHING HAPPENS. This time, I write a letter to my state rep who gets involved. They file a injunction against CPS , I get a call same day, and they tell me directly on the phone they wont be investigating. Ok that is strike 3. Enjoy a lawsuit for negligence and not abiding by your own dictated state law. That will be a fun battle there. During this time, my daughter whose now 4.5 told me that her mother was putting a pillow over her face yet again. There is no way she remembered that occurrence and this was definitely something new. I made this clear to local police and they dont do anything. Nothing!
So my ex-wife continues to try and do whatever she can. She makes bogus complaints of contempt against me such as "not paying her car insurance". The car she currently has in her possession is under my name only not hers not combined. Only mine. Ok its not gonna be insured because I dont need a second car. You see to do just fine getting around from point a to point b with your friends. So she not only tries to take me to court for that (which a Judge does not find me in contempt), she tries to call the cops on me for removing the license plates. They do nothing. Yay! Finally something good happens right?
The court orders a investigator to conduct interviews and make a professional opinion based on the interviews on who the child should stay with. She interviews my ex first who goes on to tell her I was beating her since 2011 (during the military time) and that I was arrested for shop lifting and banned from Walmart nationwide. Ok really? For one, Im military, if you would have said anything to anyone about any form of abuse, it would have been rectified asap and I would have been watched like a hawk by special investigations. Second, banned from walmart nationwide? Really? Am I going to try and walk into a Walmart and see Mutumbo telling me to my face "No No No"? I don't think so. I informed her of the circumstances, sure I was stopped for allegedly shoplifting, questioned, finger printed to see if I had a record, and go to court. Upon the first appearance, its dropped and nothing more. Go figure. More bullshit lies from my ex.
Remember those two paragraphs? Here is where it comes in. My mother went to a appointment with my ex in 2009 and during that appointment found out that my ex tested positive for HSV2 (Genital Herpes). I was furious. I literally told my mother on the phone "Are you fucking serious?" So I get tested and go figure, I don't have HSV2, HSV1, Chlaymdia, HIV, Hep-A, Hep-B, Syphillis, nothing, absolutely clean. So where the fuck did you get it? I'm not a stupid person, but you were surely messing around with some nasty you know what.
I sent the investigator over 110MB of text message conversations showing how neglectful my ex is. Talking about how my daughter is playing with a bag of trash and glass in it and she cut her hand. Ok why was she playing with it? Talking about how she cant take her to a appointment 10 minutes away but can go to seattle for her other child? Makes no sense? I sent her over 100 pictures of bruises on her body, 3 hospital records, 2 audio recordings of my ex-wife being verbally abusive towards me and my daughter, military regulations to show she supposedly had options if she was being abused, work logs and schedules and records from my mother who supervised my ex for 6 months.
So right now, I'm in a state of limbo waiting for the determination of custody. Do I have any faith that I'm going to get custody? Absolutely no I don't because this system is so biased it's not even funny. No one wants to do anything for anyone other than the woman. As you can see its very far and few between anyone helping my situation because I am the father. I'm supposedly always the abusive one. How many fathers can you name in the past 2-3 years that have made the news for hurting/killing their children? I can only think of one and that was that Texas Judge who beat his daughter on webcam. How many woman can you name? Casey Anthony, the nanny from new york who killed 2 kids, a mother in Florida who killed all 4 kids, a mother in South/North Carolina killed her 2 kids and injured her husband, a mother in Florida who killed her 4 kids, and a mother who killed her 3 kids and posting a scan of her unborn child on facebook before doing it in Suffolk, VA.
What do people not understand? This biased attitude that a man cannot be a single parent and succeed is disgraceful. Women are just as capable if not more capable of killing someone than a man is. This isn't the 50s where Men do everything. Look at it the past few years. More women are committing these types of crimes then ever before. People need to step the fuck up and realize this and literally fight for equal rights as it has happened once before. Men deserve to be treated fairly just as women are, especially with children.
So what have I honestly learned about the whole situation or any advice for others going through a divorce?
¤ Take notes on everything that happens. Dates, times, incidents everything.
¤ Always have a 3rd party with you to verify your whereabouts just in-case.
¤ Keep your work schedules.
¤ Keep every single text message.
¤ Keep every cell phone/landline bill with a detailed print out of dates/times/# called
¤ Be prepared to deal with alot of bogus crap
¤ Don't throw away anything that you believe may help you. If you have any doubt if it'll be helpful, keep it!
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CA10824 Posts
wow i'm sorry to hear about your situation. that really sucks. hope things work out for you!
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I think your blog would have been better if you just left it at "The legal system". It's not just divorces, I'm sure you are aware now, that the legal system itself is very flawed, but it's just so big, what really can be done to change it?
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I believe having one big publicity avenue of a divorce that shows everything laid out from the initial claims, to showing evidence that it was false, showing that the legal system and the courts do nothing even when they know with the evidence that this shit was going on and was going on and they still sided with the mother would make a huge blast to the legal system.
Imagine seeing that. You will have numerous news agencies both local and national getting involved. You'd have people like Nancy Grace who was also a attorney and a huge advocate for cases like these to have whats right be done make a stand and a input on it.
I just don't see how anyone especially a figure who takes a oath to do whats right, not do whats right when they see whats going on is wrong.
That is like me for example or any other military member, we took a oath to protect and defend this country from foreign or domestic threats. What is stopping me from doing that? My pride? My oath? My determination? My maturity? My integrity? What if I choose to not go to work anymore? Sure I'll find myself in jail but you know what, that is one less person doing whats right? Will that have a adverse affect on the mission or the military? Military no, mission yes, especially for what I do.
People need to realize their personal vendetta's need not to be brought into someone elses case and the right thing despite what you personally believe needs to be done.
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Your situation is truly heartbreaking. I hope things turn out well for you and your daughter
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I don't typically advocate Reddit, but that story is definitely going to gain a lot more attention there.
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On May 28 2013 06:54 Torte de Lini wrote:
holy shit.
x2
Because of this ordeal, I quit SC2 beta hots when I was on back to back GM seasons from August to December 2012 then just couldn't deal with the emotional and mental aspect of it all anymore. It was affecting me on duty, getting me paperwork, it was affecting my financial situation (still does to an extent), but most of all took away all of my time.
Just glad that I'm able to come back playing, and playing strong I am. Took me 4 hours to get back up to 800+ Masters on Korea with ease.
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Here is what happened the night of the harassment. I was going to take a shower, it was 730pm, my security buzzer goes off, i go look out the window and dont recognize the individual so I ignore it. Go take my shower, takes about 10 minutes, buzzer goes off again, I go check the window and it is the same person. I ignore it because I don't know who it is. Ok, they drive off. I get on my ps3 play some black ops for a few hours. 930pm rolls around and the dude comes back yet again buzzing. I answer the buzzer and ask who is it? Guy tells me his name is Jeff from Pierce County Superior Court with papers to serve, are you Aaron? I said I dont know any Jeff or anything about papers. He asked again if I was Aaron. I said dont know and its 930pm at night you need to leave or I'll call the cops. He said go ahead I'll wait right here. So I walk off, then he starts buzzing my buzzer repeatedly being annoying. I leave my apartment and go to the door. I open and ask what is your problem. He again asks if I'm Aaron. I said Aaron who? He in turn said Aaron Tibaa cant prounounce it. I said no I am not Aaron Tibaa cant pronounce it sorry. He asked if that was my car, I said which one? He pointed to my car however he did not make it clear he was talking about my car. I said no. He said that isn't your mitsubishi? I said nope because we have 3 mitsubishi's by where I park. I told him at this point I felt threatened and he said i didn't threaten you. I informed him you do not need to make a threat to feel threatened. I told him I have mace (showed it to him) and said if you do not leave I'll spray you in the face. He goes I have back up (waves his hand) another guy gets out of the car. At this point I try to shut the door because that is a threatening move. He tries to stop me and steps over the threshold with his body. I force him out of the way with the door by gradually letting it loose and slamming it into his shoulder. I get it shut, he says he's calling the cops for bodily harm. I flipped him off with both fingers and said go ahead mother fucker. So he does, no one comes out to investigate or report. End of that. Until 1230am when the desk sergeant calls me and hooks me up with a harassment report because he went back and looked at everything and noticed I called in reporting harassment against the individual.
Here is the newspaper article of the one occurrence of being harassed at my residence. (March 19th)
+ Show Spoiler +
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Well, from what I can see, this is a pretty bad situation. I have a few statements I want to make.
First, were there any warning signs from your ex wife that she was going to be like this? Did she seem normal while you were dating her? Marriage is a powerful legal binding, and if you hastily got married to her, it can end up like what is happening right now.
There are also two reasons why the courts may be favoring your wife. They are as follows:
1. One reason why the system may be favoring the wife is because she is the one receiving alimony. You made the money for your family. Your opportunity cost was you gave up caring for your daughter. Your ex wife was technically the stay at home mom, and her opportunity cost is her career opportunity and potential future income. The stay at home spouse does this in order to take care of the children (common sense). As such, she gave up a huge part of her potential lifetime earnings. Moreover, since your wife is divorced, it is difficult for her to support herself with a well paying job that she could have received if she worked outside of the home. After all, it takes a long time to work up the corporate ladder, and it gets harder the older you get. Alimony rectifies this issue by giving the child caretaker an income to make up for her potential lost earnings.
2. Continuing with this logic from point 1, the courts generally believe that if the women receives alimony and takes care of the children, the children may have a better childhood. You have said yourself numerous times throughout the article that you work a 12 hour shift. The courts may believe that you will be unable to help raise your daughter because you are always away working. Your ex wife would be home and could take care of her, and she could support the daughter with the alimony received from your earnings.
Now, with these statements in mind, do I believe the courts general interpretation on this issue is correct interpretation in this case? No, I do not believe this is right because your ex wife has hit and abused your child. But, the courts cannot tell fact from fiction because they probably hear these things all the time. That is why it is hard for the courts to decide who to choose. Moreover, you are probably giving a slightly biased account, since you did gloss over material like your shoplifting crime.
Overall, I feel really bad for you. It is just a same that you realized that your wife was a reliable partner too late, and you now have to deal with the consequences. I wish you the best of luck.
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thats really fucked up right there man
i sincerely and truly hope you get custody of your daughter, you seem like a reasonable and devoted father.
and i sincerely and truly hope that bitch your ex-wife gets what she deserves.
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Holy shit indeed. Thanks for your service and I really hope you get your daughter. The whole system was built to do nothing but help the women in these situations. The fact that CPS told you that they weren't going to investigate completely blows my mind.
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I just finalized my divorce 2 weeks ago. We met in the Army and a lot of what you said kind of applies to me. But wow.... I thought I had it bad. I really hope you win. My custody battle should be cake compared to all that. Deepest sympathy for you man.
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There weren't any general warning signs until after being in Florida when she didn't want to do anything whatsoever. It has been documented by the state that she is more than capable of working full-time however chooses not too on her own accord.
Was she ordered alimony? Yes however I do not pay her that amount solely because of the budget that is entailed. It is unfeasible for me too and it has already been ruled by a judge that I am not in contempt for not paying her. (Double jeopardy saves my ass here).
I do pay child support automatically from my paycheck so no worries with that one and I'm not going to deny my child that. Her mother will because she uses that money on her own personal needs and gains before my daughters.
Shoplifting charge - I was stopped at the door, physically escorted to a room where I was confined, questioned, and finger printed (I have heard two aspects on this, that is is allowed and that is not allowed without being read rights I which I was not but its in the past). I answered all questions asked, didnt resist in any way and complied with their requests. I appeared in court in regards to the matter where it was dropped upon the first appearance and was never posted onto my record based on review of the video feed showed I was not the culprit.
With the shifts, I am getting out of the military on medical aspects from a car accident that I was involved in last year, and before that occurs, I already have a family care plan that has been written and setup for full-time with custody. I have numerous avenues to ensure my daughter is taken care of whether I am working a 8 hour day shift, a 12 hour day shift, a 8 hour evening shift, a 8 hour night shift or a 12 hour night shift. I have on-base daycare that is open from 6am to 7pm, I have a few close friends around me who are more than happy to help, and I have my parents across the country who are willing to help and aid in any aspect necessary.
I understand the court "hears the same shit" all day long, but when you provide evidence and it isn't reviewed and it is detrimental to the safety of a child, that is wrong. When I give a judge evidence such as CPS records and Mental Health records that dictate she openly admitted to committing this crime and she in turn says "I didnt do this, Aaron is lying and I'll swear under oath". Why dont you review the material? That is perjury. That's a maximum of $15k and 15 years in prison. And she's batting a 1000 with perjury going with 3 counts of it, not to mention has one count of Insurance Fraud that is going to be popping up against her as well.
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Man this sucks. Sorry to hear...
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United States10055 Posts
sorry to hear that  i hope you get justice soon and bring justice upon that horrible woman.
yeah the judicial system is extremely flawed. and in general, government and state organizations are very irresponsible, as seen from how the CPS acted. thats terrible, 3 times they did not respond to you. you should sue them as well.
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That "batting a 1000" is an accurate metaphor for the situation. Its from baseball where the batting average (how many time you get on base compared to not when you are up to bat) is expressed in a decimal calculation. A good batting average is .300 or called "batting 300) so in this case when he says shes "batting 1000) that means shes hitting everything and not getting out.
Just trying to help our eurobros.
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Sorry to hear.. What a crazy story, I wish the best for you and your child.
It seems you aren't only dealing with your ex wife but also her whole cult group or something. WTF
I was expecting to read about the financial compensation is high for the female but wow this is messed up
You can also try to threaten for suing the department if you think they weren't doing anything logically, in hong Kong it would work or at least force them to do something
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On May 28 2013 08:24 ETisME wrote:
Sorry to hear.. What a crazy story, I wish the best for you and your child.
It seems you aren't only dealing with your ex wife but also her whole cult group or something. WTF
I was expecting to read about the financial compensation is high for the female but wow this is messed up
You can also try to threaten for suing the department if you think they weren't doing anything logically, in hong Kong it would work or at least force them to do something
I already told the state rep through email that they didnt respond with any action and because of that I am going to go public with the issue. I've already discussed pressing charges against CPS for not acting with my attorney and she also advised that we can go after the initial judge as well for not reviewing submitted evidence that would have made a determination at a earlier stage.
It's just a waiting game right now and it is definitely a long grueling terrible game to wait through.
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Sorry to hear about this, OP, divorce and child custody disputes are almost never a pretty thing. I can only caution against using your own experience to form sweeping judgments insofar as "the system" is concerned. I grew up watching my rich father basically shit all over my mother for 18+ years, so it is important that we avoid improper extrapolation in the search for solace. When it comes down to it, all that matters are the people involved: the mother, the father, those who represent each side and those who arbitrate. The specific state in which it happens also matters I suppose.
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Could you please post another blog or update this one when you finally do get an answer, I for one am really interested in the verdict
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On May 28 2013 09:41 Harvey18 wrote:
Could you please post another blog or update this one when you finally do get an answer, I for one am really interested in the verdict
Most certainly can do that for you. I know sometimes it'll get drawn out or over-extensive, but I'll do the best I can to not make it so.
Ive had a few people actually tell me to blog about stuff that has happened in my life from competing in Courage league in KR, to military times, to travels, and this unfortunate event.
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wrong thread. Sorry T T
but again, wish you all the best 
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Sucks, had no idea you were going through all of this shit. Good luck with everything.
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First of all, I was to say that I'm really, really sorry you're going through this. It sucks how everything can go all screwy sometimes.
I... hate to be so nit-picky, but I get more done in the half an hour after my son (almost two) goes to bed than I do the rest of the day, too. Things that should take you 10 minutes suddenly take all day. I'm serious. (And I'm bringing my own baggage here, so please take that into account.)
It sounds like she has some serious mental issues, probably triggered by one of the pregnancies. I hope she gets help for that.
It makes me sick that she's spending the money on herself. My ex stole three months of my son's government money when we first split up, and I'm still not getting child support (I have our son 6-7 days a week), nor has he paid that back. (We live in Canada, so we get some money every month, that's supposed to go towards child care, food, clothes, education savings, etc.)
And... your check list at the bottom of your post looks spot on. I can't believe some of the BS my ex comes to court with. Everyone I've talked to has said the same thing. When the other parent knows they're gonna lose (and I really do hope she does, for the child's sake, based on what you've written), they start panicking and spinning half-lies, which turn into full-lies. I hate it.
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Hey Rob, long time no see. How's things been going for you? For me, see above haha  other than that its been going ok.
Dagwon - She was at one point supposedly diagnosed with bi-polar disorder but never took medication for it. Just something the court will dig up eventually, just takes time.
I'm glad my check-list is spot on. I just hope others can take the advice and experiences that I've gone through and use it to their advantage.
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Things have been good. Work has been keeping me pretty busy, we're in the middle of some big upgrades with all of our shit so I've been pulling rather long days for the past month. Hopefully we're getting through the worst of it soon though.
I've moved almost entirely away from playing sc2 anymore, the time I spend gaming now is broodwar or whatever random fps my younger brother is obsessed with. I can't just play a little sc2, I lose too much and just get angry/feel a need to play more.
Been working out a ton more too, mainly running...running in a marathon in October so training for that through the summer will keep me busy.
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On May 28 2013 14:37 LuckyFool wrote:
Things have been good. Work has been keeping me pretty busy, we're in the middle of some big upgrades with all of our shit so I've been pulling rather long days for the past month. Hopefully we're getting through the worst of it soon though.
I've moved almost entirely away from playing sc2 anymore, the time I spend gaming now is broodwar or whatever random fps my younger brother is obsessed with. I can't just play a little sc2, I lose too much and just get angry/feel a need to play more.
Been working out a ton more too, mainly running...running in a marathon in October so training for that through the summer will keep me busy.
I read that in some post you talked about quitting. Best of luck to you with it. If you ever come back to SC2 let me know, me and Bongmicro are in the process of a start-up  More to come on that later though <3
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I live near your Cocoa ass now. I'll buy you a beer.
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On May 28 2013 15:36 Game wrote:
I live near your Cocoa ass now. I'll buy you a beer.
Woah now. You're up in Washington?
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Nope, I didn't read this blog so I assumed you still were stationed @ the base south of Cocoa Beach.
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Fight on. The most important thing is that your child knows that you are a good father.
From there, your ex-wife has no chance.
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nothing to say but fuck that shit man. don't let them get to you and get your daughter back from that psycho. gl.
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I don't think I've ever talked to you directly but I've seen you around on SC and you've always seemed like a nice guy. Pisses me off that the world can be this fucked up sometimes.
For some reason, I have faith that in the end, justice is always served somehow. It probably doesn't mean much, but I truly hope things can end up fine for you.
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On May 28 2013 15:43 FT.aCt)Sony wrote:Show nested quote +On May 28 2013 15:36 Game wrote:
I live near your Cocoa ass now. I'll buy you a beer. Woah now. You're up in Washington?
Maybe I missed some of the parts in this blog but what the fuck is your attorney doing during all of this. How much have you invested into an attorney and if you have a decent one there should be no problem getting custody in the long run. It will be a pain in the ass for sure but it will happen in Washington.
Washington is overall a pretty shitty place to be a dude trying to get custody though. You should PM me some more details if you might need a new/better attorney. My mom is one of the top family law attorneys in the state.
Sorry to hear about all your troubles. My bro had a similar story to this. Came home to his wife in texas and found out she had been cheating and stuff. Caused all sorts of problems for him and made his life hell. Hopefully things will work out for you in the end and you can put the crazy lady behind you.
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United States225 Posts
I hope things work out for you in the end...jesus christ. Please post what happens in the future
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In addition to being a critique of the legal system, this can also serve as a reminder: Be very, very, very careful who you marry, and/or knock up. Don't get blinded by love or hot poontang and end up with a succubus. I know so many guys who married terrible women and are paying for it.
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Sounds awful. I hope you can get custody. Your ex should not only lose custody but pay some penalty for such abuse toward both you and your daughter.
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I've invested a little over 10k into my attorney as opposed to my ex-wife who did $1200 and then in turn he went into court and made a formal request to relinquish himself as representation. So what that means to break it down to ones who may not, her attorney quit on her after a few weeks.
My attorney is a nationally recognized individual who has the means of representing in various aspects.
National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers (NACDL), Member
Washington Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers (WACDL), Member
Washington Women Lawyers, Member (This one specifically is a huge plus because of the situation, which is the reason I opted for her).
And aside from this both circuit and Supreme Court representation.
I won't drop the name of the firm or anything because overall they have done a outstanding job, but its just been a long waiting game with this investigator process.
Overall, my attorney doesnt want to file any injuctions or contempt motions against my ex mainly because one, it'll cost more money and time, two its still going to happen after the fact and three it supposedly makes me look like a better person by not doing anything about it.
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On May 29 2013 04:09 FT.aCt)Sony wrote:
I've invested a little over 10k into my attorney as opposed to my ex-wife who did $1200 and then in turn he went into court and made a formal request to relinquish himself as representation. So what that means to break it down to ones who may not, her attorney quit on her after a few weeks.
My attorney is a nationally recognized individual who has the means of representing in various aspects.
National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers (NACDL), Member
Washington Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers (WACDL), Member
Washington Women Lawyers, Member (This one specifically is a huge plus because of the situation, which is the reason I opted for her).
And aside from this both circuit and Supreme Court representation.
I won't drop the name of the firm or anything because overall they have done a outstanding job, but its just been a long waiting game with this investigator process.
Overall, my attorney doesnt want to file any injuctions or contempt motions against my ex mainly because one, it'll cost more money and time, two its still going to happen after the fact and three it supposedly makes me look like a better person by not doing anything about it.
Which attorney is this just curious. If you could PM me that would be really interesting. My mom was the president of WACDL for a long time and helped set the organization up in the first place. Either way I really hope things work out for you.
Edit: Also 10k for all the stuff you have described sounds about normal to me. I have seen so many cases over that when the ex has lots of problems or causes a fuss.
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oh wow that sounds absolutely brutal man. i hope it all works out
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On May 29 2013 05:52 QuanticHawk wrote:
oh wow that sounds absolutely brutal man. i hope it all works out
Thanks. I was going through alot of the pre-stages of this when we talked a little at MLG Orlando 2011 sitting side-by-side. (Pretty sure it was you at the time under Vile). I didn't make it really known to anyone other than a few close friends at that time and that was it.
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This is why I'm never getting married. Doesn't matter if the right "one" comes along you just don't know what will happen 5-10 years down the road. They wonder why no one is getting married and not having kids. The majority of people at work are divorced. Men who are divorced are forced to work 2 decent paying jobs and not have any money left over
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Well that's just beyond fucked up. This is why I will never get married in this country, the marriage laws so blatantly favored towards the woman it is disgusting. At least in places like Europe you have fairer laws in case divorce happens (at least from what I have heard...assets split 50/50 and the like).
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Oh my god, I wanted to cry after reading this...
Best of luck to you. Also as tdl said, this may be something reddit can help you with.
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Since a few recommended Reddit, here is the link:
+ Show Spoiler +http://www.reddit.com/r/legal/comments/1fb9h4/the_legal_system_divorce/
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Minor update -
I receieved a email today from my attorney annotating that I need to put another 10k into my trust account to ensure that I will get full custody. She stated she foresees the case going about another 40 hours worth of time to include the August settlement prep, August settlement case (which my ex will turn down and cost me money), September trial prep and the September trial hearing. She wants to pull all information from the medical aspect to include cps records from Washington/Arizona/Florida and mental health records of my ex-wife.
Unfortunately I am unable to even come close to getting 10k, I've already utilized my limits on taking loans out and any bank would be stupid to give me one right now. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
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Damn wish I knew how to help. I see you posted in the r/legal subreddit. You might try giving the r/mensrights subreddit a shot. It can be a vitriolic cesspool, but they do amass stories like yours, and maybe someone will have seen something similar that had a solution or resource you could benefit from:
http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/
I'd probably ask your lawyer before doing so though, in case it could be used as ammunition against you some how.
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Northern Ireland23942 Posts
Jesus man, I've always felt that society is incredibly sexist when it comes to parental rights, straight down gender lines.
It sounds like a complete bureaucratic nightmare, hope all goes well for you. I don't really have any requisite expertise in anything that would directly help, but was affected by your post.
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On June 16 2013 12:31 Mothra wrote:Damn wish I knew how to help. I see you posted in the r/legal subreddit. You might try giving the r/mensrights subreddit a shot. It can be a vitriolic cesspool, but they do amass stories like yours, and maybe someone will have seen something similar that had a solution or resource you could benefit from: http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/I'd probably ask your lawyer before doing so though, in case it could be used as ammunition against you some how.
I did that this morning. Thank you for that advice.
+ Show Spoiler +
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A Father's Plea
Ive been discussing some matters with some individuals, and I have since setup a small startup wordpress site, not too flashy, not too gimmicky, but its up for Live stream, blogging my personal experiences and updates (which I will also do here as well), and a donation block to potentially help my cause.
I am more than open to giving any documentation (with the appropriate boxes blacked out that include personally identifiable information) and case information to verify the matters if requested for verification/proof.
I have an individual in the process at this moment in creating some graphics (background/banner/stream overlay) and will be going in full force on off time in trying to assist in this matter.
I do want to give thanks to alot of people for helping me and just being there physically, verbally and emotionally and I can't truly tell you how much it does mean to me and my daughter.
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I feel really bad for your little girl. I hope she is okay.
GL with the court stuff. Your situation sounds all fucked up. Hang in there, dude.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/7706hG7.jpg)
