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Australia51 Posts
Here's how it works
She already has made her mind up about you. She already knows what her response will be if you ask her out. This is identical to you knowing whether or not you would sleep with her within the first minute of meeting her. You just don't know what her response is.
You could now spend time trying to figure out how she will respond, or trying to build up a relationship or whatever, but the fact still remains. She's already made her mind up. Now seeing as your're probs a typical guy, the longer you don't ask her out, the more likely you will fuck things up (assuming her answer atm is yes).
Right now, your highest chance for success is to ask her out. If she says no, well then you never stood a chance anyway and you would have been wasting your time. If she says yes, then you made the correct choice before you screwed up by waiting or whatever.
End result. Don't be a bitch and ask her out. Don't be subtle or try to determine where you stand, just ask.
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Stop posting on the internet and just ask her if she likes you.
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Pandemona, I was actually going to post that in retrospect right now when I read your post.
I looked back on yesterday and it seems like she was just being friendly..
"Hey Ashley, I have to tell you something.
I think you're really pretty.
You seem like a nice and interesting person,
and I know you're out of my league but
if you have even the slightest bit of interest in me,
do you want to go get a coffee or something?"
Saying this shit in front of a mirror, staring at my fucking acne scars...
Fucking a man I need to get rid of these acne scars...
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Tell her what you want. That usually works. Sounds very easy to say. But it does work.
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Well, it doesn't really matter if she likes you or not.
Just be true to yourself and don't panic. If she doesn't well whatever, you might get a nice friend.
Think of this as ladder points :D
Just queue up and play for funsies.
My advice: be casual about it, if she has an interest in you things will line up like a nice BO!
But don't be too passive.
Sh'es gonna expect you to call her.
Wait a few days then call her back. (=earlygame pressure)
Ask her out to see a painter's exhibition or a museum or something both of you will enjoy.
If at the end of the day you still have no idea about how she feels towards you, just be honest with her and come clean. There's no better way imo.
"Hey Ashley, I have to tell you something.
I think you're really pretty.
You seem like a nice and interesting person,
and I know you're out of my league but
if you have even the slightest bit of interest in me,
do you want to go get a coffee or something?"
Saying this shit in front of a mirror, staring at my fucking acne scars...
Fucking a man I need to get rid of these acne scars...
Oh and don't you worry about your acne scars.
I had the worst acne spots when I was a teenager, and the one thing I learned from them is that those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
Take a deep breath man, you'll be fine.
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It's possible that she likes you, it's also possible that she's just being friendly and you're misconstruing that as her flirting. I remember a psych. study I had to read in University where men and women both looked at a social situation between a man and a woman and were asked to rate how flirty each one was. Men rated the woman as being far, far more of a flirt than did the women, who just thought she was being nice. If you could tell for sure if a woman liked you there would be no risk involved in asking her out. I would say she has given you enough signals for it to be reasonably plausible she likes you, she offered you a ride, gave you her number, clearly doesn't mind spending extra time with you.
As for what you do next, not sure. You could just ask her out, but that might be too forward, maybe consider getting together to work on your project/homework and then ask her if she wants to get dinner or lunch, if that goes well, then ask her out on a date, if it doesn't - there you go.
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Just go to her house, unzip, and ask for her oral presentation.
If that doesn't work, get some peanut butter for the dog!
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I am really gald you included stop being bitch as an option that is the solution to 99% of girl blogs on this site. Honestly whats the worse that happens you get rejected ohhhhhhhhhh no... worse thing ever. NOT!
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exactly jamesr12. and props to you OP, probably why I responded in all honesty =p
Pandemona and others are right actually. I guess she could just want a friend.. If you are interested in having a friendship with her if she is in fact not interested, then angle that way. But I also have to give some due to Fen2. For most guys and situations, his advice is right on. Your highest chance of success is at the beginning, when the sparks are new.
If that isn't your style though, keep it casual. Bring it up when the time is right.
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On May 02 2013 12:50 Mothra wrote:
Honestly the only way to tell is cues in body language and tone of voice.
Right there is your answer.
Good signals:
-She laughs at even your most retarded jokes
-(When possible) she turns her body towards you (for example knees pointing towards you when you sit somewhere).
-She keeps eye contact when you speak
-Taking every excuse to touch you
Bad signals:
-Easily distracted (by her phone or something)
-Keeps a certain distance
-Pretty much does the opposite of the "good" signals
Hell I'm no expert either but these are just some things I noticed pretty much every girl does. Just go with your gut man, especially as I grew a bit older and more experienced, it became pretty clear when a girl is attracted to you or just likes you as a friend or w/e.
Edit: also, don't look for signals in the things she says. It's a fool's errand.
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Get away from my daughter!
User was banned for this post.
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She doesn't have to like you to be attracted to you btw.
Both of you having insecurities is not going to make this work for you two. Women want dominating men. You already said you are not so...
She could be brainwashed by feminism and thinks career or academic achievement makes a woman more attractive, or she could be "ashamed" of being rich and beautiful, and wants to feel that she has won her achievements through hard work, not by doors getting opened for her. And that's why she denies her beauty. Maybe her grooming and fashion style can tell you how she really feels about her beauty, but I gather you are not the type that can profile people based on that. Either way you should not really care about her school, your project together or whatever. Make it so that it is clear for everybody that it is a man(you) talking to a woman(her). If she keeps putting on her hardworking student act don't give her too much attention.
In the note of man-woman interaction, challenge her beliefs a bit, and get her to shit test you. Google shit test if you have to, read heartiste on the matter. Actually, I think she did test you, you didn't know it and you failed.
There is a chance she is looking for validation, she wants to see if she can make you follow her like a puppy. Always have it on your terms, not hers. Use her a bit, show yourself in public with her, let other girls see this. You will have successfully built preselection, which you will use to flirt around with the other girls and therefore build more preselection such that you can use it to attract "Ashley" too. Use her jealousy!
All that being said, the sexual marketplace is what it is, and you shouldn't expect a whole lot from your this relationship. It's just gonna be a fling. She will have 1-2 hypergamy bouts and while she is at her peak SMV today, you are not. You will get girls like her when you are 30. Maybe a lot of them.
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On May 02 2013 16:24 Cyber_Cheese wrote:Show nested quote +On May 02 2013 13:14 farvacola wrote:
My only advice is that you not tell her that one of the things you like about her is her smooth skin. it's worked for me
Talk about her eyes. It's the only part of her body you can drop a few comments about and still sound classy
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On May 02 2013 18:14 kamicom wrote:
Pandemona, I was actually going to post that in retrospect right now when I read your post.
I looked back on yesterday and it seems like she was just being friendly..
"Hey Ashley, I have to tell you something.
I think you're really pretty.
You seem like a nice and interesting person,
and I know you're out of my league but
if you have even the slightest bit of interest in me,
do you want to go get a coffee or something?"
Saying this shit in front of a mirror, staring at my fucking acne scars...
Fucking a man I need to get rid of these acne scars...
Dude if you start like that your going to fail. Particularly the bit about "I know your out of my league". No girl wants to hear a guy have so little confidence in themselves that they are going to degrade themselves just to ask someone out who has been showing you signs. They might be slight signs at the end of the day but at a minimum she's opening herself up to being friends with you. My recomendation from life experience is that girl-friend are as strong an asset in finding girls than yourself, too many guys I know get all freaked out asking a girl out, and if they get rejected just drop the relationship.
So in light of this my honest advice(talked to my gf/ex/dunno about it just now, and she agrees), drop that speech, it's putting yourself on a huge pedestal and frankly keep it short and sweet, less time to fuck up, you know? Like my version of your speech would be,
"Hey Ashley, if you have even the slightest bit of interest do you want to go get a coffee or something?"
Then you need to just spend time with her, read her signs in a casual situation, and go from there. Dropping the "I think your really pretty" line at some point might help if she's a girl who has a bit of a confidence issue but you have to make it natural you know? Honestly if you go out in a 1v1 "date" situation it should be immediately apparent if anything is going to happen; the key is just being comfortable, relaxed and making your intentions clear but not too direct from the get-go.
And finally please stop beating yourself up about your acne scars. Everyone has a flaw; repeat everyone. In fact what I have learned is that everyone has a flaw, whether it's physical, healthwise or a character deficiency. You say yourself that you are quite well built and you notice female attention so you have the answer that girls can find you attractive, and you say yourself that the girl isn't disgusted by you, you are simply disgusted in yourself. While I advise you to do anything you can to improve yourself you also need to learn to just live with yourself and don't put yourself down so much. For better or worse you will enjoy your relationship whether it's study-buddies, friends or lovers. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, just don't let it pass 
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So your evidence that she might like you consists of her talking to you, offering to help with school work, offering to give you a ride, and not immediately turning to stone once you cast your nerd gaze up on her... did you forget that she is a randomly assigned partner on your class project?? She's just being nice. Not every person who is being nice wants to jump your bones.
But hey, on the bright side, the fact that she offered a ride at least means you don't look as desperate and rapey as you sound here! Internet hi5! o/
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LOL. Probably the most likely after reading OP again ... Try to make friends OP. If possible, use this friendship to garner other girls' attention.
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I think you just need to get a good perspective on the situation.
1) You obviously like her. Maybe it's just because you think she likes you that you like her, but hey, shallower reasons have been used for first dates.
2) You just met her. "Just" being a relative term. Your only fear is rejection which will spiral down into never seeing this girl again. But let's face it, this is college, and this assignment and this course is probably going to be the last time you ever interact with this girl regardless of lack of fuck-ups on your part. Whether you want to have an ongoing friendship or a romantic connection, both will need you to be proactive one way or another.
3) Does it really matter if she likes you or not? Your feelings are what determine your first step, her feelings are what determine her answer.
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How about: "Hey, want to grab a cup of coffee/whatever later? I hear Starbucks is offering half off their fraps this week!"
If she says yes, then good on you (and Starbucks). If she says no, then get yourself a half-price frap. It will make you feel better.
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EPT
you newbie!
