|
Pretty unexperienced at this kinda stuff. Need your opinion.
College student here. So there's this girl named "Ashley". I need to know if I'm just overreacting to her personality or if she's genuinely interested in me.
I was assigned a group of five random partners for a project. We all met today at the library. Enters Ashley.
-She has a tendency to laboriously aggrandize herself (got jealous when I mentioned a prestigious program and also randomly mentioned she got accepted by all her colleges). I think she might be insecure about herself..
-She's really pretty. She has the smoothest cute face I've seen (juxtaposed to me. You ever see a person with so much acne scars that you HAVE to double take? that's me). She never once looked at my acne scars like many girls do. The entire time for the 4 hours we spent, she looked straight at my eyes without hesitation.
-As everyone started to leave, she stayed and offered to help me recite my presentation. We stayed for another hour and conversed a quarter of the time. She let it slip that she was going to graduate as a super-super-senior and that she was planning on switching majors (I was also a gonna be a super-late senior but I was too embarrassed to tell her).
-As we left, she told me to call her if I needed help on a presentation slide. I didn't really consider it, but she insisted to give my phone to her. Then she put her number in.
-As we walked outside, I told her I ride the bus and she offered me a ride. I rejected first but upon seeing no bus at my stop, i accepted her second offer.
-She revealed to me that she lives in a house (parents gave her the house) alone with her 2-year-old lab. I asked if she got bored or lonely. She said she has friends over sometimes but she paints and does stuff to kill the time. I was intrigued as we were both biology majors. I am interested in painting as well and we had a good chat about mediums and Bob Ross on the ride to my place.
- I thank her for the ride, for helping me recite the presentation. She reminds me to call her if I need help. <- is this some way to boost her ego to show that she's reliably smart or is she interested? (because tbh it seems like she didn't even read the material).
I like her because she has a broken personality like me. We're both insecure/ashamed so we project a facade. She seemed lonely, just looking at how she would rather just sit and talk with some loser like me than go home. I want to help her. Also, like I said, she's super pretty (to the point where it's objectively correct).
At the very least, I think she just wanted to talk to someone. She doesn't have the humblest personality but neither did I until a few years ago.
I want to get to know her. Probably gonna ask her out at the end of the quarter.
I still don't know though; she's too pretty to even consider a guy like me which leads me to think she's playing with me.
Poll: Do you think she's interested?Stop being a bitch (71) 67% Gather more intel (21) 20% No (10) 9% Yes (4) 4% 106 total votes Your vote: Do you think she's interested? (Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
(Vote): Gather more intel
(Vote): Stop being a bitch
 
|
- As we left, she told me to call her if I needed help on a presentation slide. I didn't really consider it, but she insisted to give my phone to her. Then she put her number in.
Here's your safe technique:
Call her to recite some of your presentation again, you got some new jitters and just want to iron that shit out.
Pass 1/2 hour or so at your place doing that shit, then thank her by taking her out to dinner (you can either say "I'd like to take you out to dinner" or "Now that that's done, let's get something to eat"). Whatever the mood calls for and how confident you're feeling + just say it how you'd say it.
Or ask for help and suggest to do it at her place, whatever.
Two suggestions:
Even if you're an ugly piece of shit, she cares about you and the presentation, enough to continuously offer the idea of following-up on your oral piece. If she's being friendly then that's closer than classmates cooperatively working on your presentation.
You don't need to immediately ask her flat out, you can transition your time with her to something casual and eventually romantic. You say you'd like to get to know her? Then create scenarios that do just that and don't put so much pressure on what this or that means (does she like me or not?).
Pursue. You have common ground and you obviously have things to talk about that are genuinely interesting. Follow those up and see where it goes. If the boat tips and you didn't her heart and love, at least you had a good time and some great talks with someone you can connect with.
Steps man, they don't have to lead to anywhere, they can just be steps towards something better.
|
Honestly the only way to tell is cues in body language and tone of voice. The situation you describe doesn't sound like an explicit show of interest. Agonizing over every detail in your mind is a sure way to let an opportunity go. I'm not good with women either but just like when you want to learn anything else: take someone as your model, copy them, practice til you're more comfortable.
|
In my experience, "safe techniques" don't really help. The longer you delay asking her out or at least hint that you like her, the faster you'd be added to the dreaded friendzone. Ask around if shes seeing someone atm. If not, go for it... NOW. Don't wait til end of the sem.
|
The "safe technique" is just transitioning out of the student/classmate relationship and into something more casual to both get a better feel for what he's interesting in and because he said he's "inexperienced" with the ladies.
|
Yeah, being honest here, she likes you dude. She doesn't like you for the right reasons though, she finds in you a bit of her, and you find in her a bit of you. It'll end up being best friends if you don't make a move, so you have to pick which one you want more, tapping her in bed, or tapping her knowledge as a friend (not to say you can't have her intellectually as a gf, but you know what I mean). She likes you, but she seems to need to do some soul-searching, or at least a bit of growing. A lot of people have the same insecurities, hell, I'm one of them, but the mature ones are the ones that don't self-aggrandize like that; the ones that understand their self worth.
|
My only advice is that you not tell her that one of the things you like about her is her smooth skin.
|
If you haven't known her for long, and you have bad skin, I don't think she likes you. Obviously I do not have enough information to really support that, but think about it this way: If you meet a girl with bad skin, even if you like her personality, you're not going to like her in "that way" until you spend a lot more time with her so that you can overlook her physical flaws. Sure, girls tend to place more emphasis on personality than on appearance, but come on, it takes time for attraction to someone's personality to grow, and it takes even more time for that attraction to overcome a below-average appearance. (You make it sound like you're below-average anyways, but I obviously cannot tell, and I don't know the timeline you are working on. It seems like you just met her today ...)
So, first things first: take care of your skin, lol.
|
I'm starting to think she's one of those girls that tease.
I called her and asked if she was busy.
She responds by saying she just got out of the shower (is that shit something chicks normally say to a guy they just met that same day??)
Starting to think she's a tease...
Plus she's white female and I'm male asian, perhaps the astronomically smallest proportion in the spectrum of interracial relationships.
babylon, that's the thing. She didn't obsess over my bad skin like most girls do. Also I am happy with my physique. I'm in shape and stand proud in front of a mirror. Lots of girls check me out (albeit from a distance). Seal with the fucked up face hooked up with a supermodel.
I see your point though and you're right. Physical attraction is what bonds people initially.
Sigh... I'm planning on doing a TCA cross at home this summer.
|
On May 02 2013 13:52 kamicom wrote:
I'm starting to think she's one of those girls that tease.
I called her and asked if she was busy.
She responds by saying she just got out of the shower (is that shit something chicks normally say to a guy they just met that same day??)
Starting to think she's a tease...
Plus she's white female and I'm male asian, perhaps the astronomically smallest proportion in the spectrum of interracial relationships.
babylon, that's the thing. She didn't obsess over my bad skin like most girls do. Also I am happy with my physique. I'm in shape and stand proud in front of a mirror. Lots of girls check me out (albeit from a distance). Seal with the fucked up face hooked up with a supermodel.
I see your point though and you're right. Physical attraction is what bonds people initially.
Sigh... I'm planning on doing a TCA cross at home this summer.
the shower thing is dependent on too many things to really make a call.
The ethnic/race (asian/white female) thing is retarded, drop that mindset.
What's TCA?
|
On May 02 2013 13:52 kamicom wrote:
I'm starting to think she's one of those girls that tease.
I called her and asked if she was busy.
She responds by saying she just got out of the shower (is that shit something chicks normally say to a guy they just met that same day??)
Starting to think she's a tease...
Plus she's white female and I'm male asian, perhaps the astronomically smallest proportion in the spectrum of interracial relationships.
babylon, that's the thing. She didn't obsess over my bad skin like most girls do. Also I am happy with my physique. I'm in shape and stand proud in front of a mirror. Lots of girls check me out (albeit from a distance). Seal with the fucked up face hooked up with a supermodel.
I see your point though and you're right. Physical attraction is what bonds people initially.
Sigh... I'm planning on doing a TCA cross at home this summer.
She didn't obsess about it in public to your face, but you can't know until you really ask her. I know lots of people who have bad skin with whom I can talk without giving them any indication at all that I think their skin is bad. People ignore these things all the time. Hell, some people are so afraid of offending others that they precisely do what you say: they look people right in the eye all the time instead of staring at them, because they are conscious of their own staring.
I mean, yeah, if you can't afford some facial cream, then skip it, but otherwise it's a small fix to what may be a pretty big problem. To make it more explicit: Would you want to kiss a girl with bad facial skin? The problem is not solved just 'cause people check you out from a distance. I mean, in a relationship, you typically want your face really close to the other person's, and when you get really close to another person's face, would you like to see a bunch of acne scars?
|
^agree w babylon.. maaan. TBH, I'm still gonna ask her out this quarter. I've lived like a nerdy bitch my entire life. My only relationships were in middle school and high school and essentially the girl had to ask me.
Torte, TCA is trichloroacetic acid. It's probably one of the more affordable and effective ways of getting rid of acne scars (though it's dangerous if you don't do it right since it's essentially just burning your skin.) I did tons of research and it seems to be the favored DIY acne scar remover (unless you're dark or super light skinned).
|
@OP: idk why you're being such a huge bitch, why don't you just fucking ask?
|
|
|
you are making large assumptions based on things that occur normally within a college project setting. also i do not think you should assume that she has a broken personality...lol. you hardly know her bro. in my opinion you cannot make a move based on this.
|
shit, forgot to post this before I left my comp a while ago...
"Stop being a bitch". If you are wondering if she is interested in you, it means you are interested in her...
If she spent more than an hour of her time and is telling you to call her and tells you she lives alone, then she isn't afraid of you or finds you creepy (I can't say she finds you attractive because not enough clues but that doesn't matter if you are the guy as much as everything else). She isn't stupid, she is giving you enough information that can almost be considered putting herself out there for you. The true test is in how you handle this. No girl is going to put herself out there more than this (maybe if she was more confident, but you said she isn't), and if she did, would you really be attracted to her? (obviously I can't be 100% without seeing her actions in person)
In any case, like I said, if you are wondering, it means you are interested, and I don't see why you should restrict yourself to only acting upon it if the interest is returned. Take the matter into your own hands, and if you don't see the interest, try to spark it yourself. You are already at the door, now work to get invited in.
You talk about facades and how you are more humble now. Maybe she can see that in you and is what she likes? She notices the confidence in you and how you don't treat her different even if you see through her bullshit. From my experience, these type girls who put up a facade or an image-act are some of the most prime to "pick-up" on (get to know better). They usually know when a guy is putting on an act as well, so stay confident and be yourself. Don't be afraid to be the first one to say something "risky", you are the guy, that is your job. All girls like attention, just don't be immature. Also, the prettier the girl, sometimes, the less attention they get, since it takes more confident people to approach them (obviously depends on personality and not so black and white).
TLDR: Stop being a bitch. Whether she likes you or not is irrelevant if you don't do anything about it.
|
Bro, just ask her out. You get turned down? Best part about college, largest congregation of the opposite sex that will be in your age/intelligence range (depending on the school/major).
Don't forget though, once you get the date, you gotta go sk8
|
She wants to give you an oral presentation.
|
that's way too little info on whether she likes you or not. Most of the stuff you put here is about what you think makes you two matches/why you like her?
just give it a little bit more time and make sure you don't miss the timing :D
|
On May 02 2013 13:14 farvacola wrote:
My only advice is that you not tell her that one of the things you like about her is her smooth skin.
it's worked for me
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
