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Active: 5546 users

[girl blog] maybe I'm overanalyzing

Blogs > Garnet
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Garnet
Profile Blog Joined February 2006
Vietnam9050 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-02-18 10:03:37
February 16 2013 17:42 GMT
#1
* not a happy girl blog
* kinda long

*my comments are in ( )


So there's this girl, let's call her Anna. She's 21, I'm 22. We're both Vietnamese, go to the same university. She's 3rd year now, I'm 4th.

We went to 3 classes together, but I only noticed her at the first day of our third class together, when she talked to me as I walked into the class and sat behind her. She kept looking back at me, like clearly hinting that she wants to talk. We chatted a bit, then I moved to another seat far away because the teacher wanted me to join that group. She kept looking at me, smiling (later on I realized she ALWAYS smile, like she was born with her mouth like that or smt). Class ended, I got out, didn't talk to her.

The next week, she came to class really late, and looked straight at me when she walked in. I took a closer look at her, and she has a really pretty face (compared to the girls here anyway), but a small body, but that isn't a problem since I don't really like big girls. Then somehow her group moved to the seat behind me (a seat can hold 5 ppl). Now she's right behind me!. I got really nervous, but managed to not break down and discussed some stuff to my group mates. Then class ended, I went out first to the WC. When I got out, she was going in the Ladies' room. This is when it all started: she stopped me and started asking me questions. I answered with a kinda cold tone, then somehow asked for her number when we were about to say goodbye. She told me to call her (so she could get my number), and even called me right at that moment just to be sure.

I went home, feeling ecstatic, but deep down inside I wasn't really that happy.

Reason: my experience with girls here have all been like this: Notices some cute girl likes me --> tries to get to know her --> loses interest. Partly because I was influenced too much from watching American TV shows and just can't stand passive, shy Asian girls, partly because I've met 2 amazing girls so my standard is maybe a bit high. This one actually tried to talk to me though, which moved me a bit so I'm giving a little more effort into her.

Anyway, a few days later I texted her. It went smt like this: (translated from Vietnamese to English, so her emotions may be lost in translation. Anyway I think she's never been in a relationship and probably doesn't even know what flirting mean. Remember she's Asian).
+ Show Spoiler +
Me: Are u free on Sunday.
Her: Yes I am.
Me: Let's go out :>
Her: go out where? and why u suddenly want to go out?
Me: We studied all week already, let go somewhere for fresh air.
Her: But the weather tomorrow's gonna be cold.
Me: If we don't ride around the streets it won't matter. Please go ~_~ (in Vietnam ppl travel by motorbikes).
Her: I'll text you later ok. If we can't go by Sunday we can go another time, right?.
Her: Ah and you should go find materials for the Business class (the class we had together), it's due next lesson. (she changes subject!).
Me: Uhm I found something already, have u found any?
Her: Me too, hope this project won't be difficult. First time we get to do a project. hi
Me: I heard the teacher said only one person failed last semester.
Me: Btw where are u living?
Her: I live far away, in XX city. That's a relief. (I got confused because the second sentence is a reply to my first message, and the first is the reply to my second one).
Me: What do you mean "that's a relief?" (lost in translation, but to explain it briefly: Vietnamese characters have special symbols beside alphabet ones, like á, ô, but when texting we don't use them (just a, o) because we can still understand the content. But this time I couldn't figure out what she wrote, so I asked her to explain).
She: I mean "that's a relief" (write it more clearly).
Me: Well I gotta go eat some rice. See ya, bb.
She: k, pp you. (I think she's not happy with the ending).


The class again. When I walked in she was talking on the phone, so I just sat behind her. Then her group moved to a far away seat. I couldn't get any chance to talk to her the whole time, so I waited for the class to end, then came up and I asked (in a kinda awkward way): where's your homeland? she said "my homeland is XXX, then told me to go home first (I was in her way). That move hurt me badly. For a moment my face went red and I got a bit angry.
But I calmed down and did probably the most courageous thing I have done in my life: I sat behind her and initiated a conversation. It went decently. Then I pretended to ask the teacher smt, but she was busy so I waited a bit. Meanwhile Anna (finally get to use this code name) just sat there waiting for her friends to finish consulting the teacher. I couldn't come up with anything to say, so I just walked around the floor, going in and out of the class. Then Anna got a call and moved to the windows to talk. I just went home after asking the teacher some questions. But when I was heading out of the parking lot, I saw her. I said "hey, where's u going? I can give u a ride". She stopped a bit then looked at her friend (also coming out of the parking lot). Then after talking with her friend, she told me to just go first, and went with her friend. (btw she goes to school by bus, and need people to drive her to the bus stop).

I was a bit disappointed and suddenly just wanted to talk to every girl out there to release the frustration.

But what a surprise. A few days later, she texted me!. That cleared all the doubts I had had about her feelings. It went smt like: + Show Spoiler +

Her: Are u back to your homeland (she doesn't come from this city, I guess she wanted to know where I came from too).
Me: I have no homeland to go back to, I was born here. What r u doing?
Her: I'm cooking. How much has ur family prepared for the lunar new year?
Me: We started cleaning just now. Everything's still messy. Do u plan to go anywhere this holiday?
Her: I just stay home. Have your group done the case study? (asking about study stuff again)
Me: Nope. I haven't heard anything from them.
Her: Same here. Nothing from my group.
Me: If anything happens in your family do tell me. I gotta go eat now, bb.

*no reply.


Kinda lame conversation, but at least I knew she was still interested and her friends didn't give her any negative ideas.

Then right before the New Year's Eve, I texted her at around 6:00pm
+ Show Spoiler +
Me: Sweetie, I wish you a <long text>, and your family a <long text>.
Her: It's not New Year yet ya :D
Me: (I'm) Afraid the phone network might get clogged later.
Her: Ew. So that's why you wished me so early.

I stopped texting here. Now that I think about it, this is probably where it went wrong...


Then on Valentine's Day, I texted this exact message to her (in English, we specialize in English translation and interpreting, so I thought she would understand):
+ Show Spoiler +
happy valentine darling. what are u feeling right now?


...no reply. It definitely said the message had been successfully sent. Maybe her account ran out of money, or she lost her phone?.

Today, which is 2 days after that, I sent her this:
+ Show Spoiler +
When will you be back in <this city's name>. :-)


Still no reply. We're meeting again in 3 days, and I don't even know if I should talk to her. I probably will, since I'm preparing a lucky money thing for her (what ppl give to children on Lunar New Year), and plan to put the money inside an origami heart. At this rate I think I will change it to a star.


My thoughts:

I have never been in a relationship and she seems so too. I don't think we're compatible, but she's so pretty, and there are just too many unattractive girls here. Also I doubt I can find anyone less boring than her in my area anyway. We're both shy ppl but I'm trying my best to play the active role, but it seems like I'm doing it wrong (although she might be at fault here too, if she don't like it just say it, silence won't make anything better).

Also I'm betting on the hope that I or she may change if we become a couple. But I think I should change myself first, so many ppl have told me I'm too much of a nice and shy guy. Moreover, my life's kinda messy right now. I have shitloads of work to do and only 2 days left to finish them and organize my life.
I'm taking a trip to the countryside with my family tomorrow, hopefully it will clear my mind a bit.

+ Show Spoiler +
Yep I did write down all the texts she sent me before clearing my inbox.



Still a better love story than Twilight, ............right?



+ Show Spoiler [tl;dr] +
girl didn't reply texts, confused.


P.S. I actually asked her out the second time we met (after she refused when we text), and she said that day she had class in the morning. Well whatever, seems like she thinks going out is a dangerous thing or smt.

HUGE UPDATE 18/2: (sorry I didn't reply to any of the comments, but the situation totally changed after this update so non of the comments are relevant now).

Patch notes:

+ Show Spoiler +
Yesterday she texted me asking about the schedule of our class. I was like wtf how can u still text me after not replying to my messages twice?? well maybe she really did not receive those messages I sent.

I just said let me check it, then had to attend dinner at my uncle's, so when I got back to her it's 8 hours later. She replied with "thank you".

Today I came earlier to class, when she walked in she looked at me but I acted like I didn't care. I mean seriously I was kinda losing interest in her already. But since I already prepared the red envelope, I gave it to her anyway with a cold "hey Anna". She took it with a happy face, but whatever...

Then she went out first, when I got out she was looking into the other class, I just walked past her (not sure if she noticed, I she was turning my back against me). Couldn't think of anything to say anyway.








**
Thalandros
Profile Blog Joined July 2012
Netherlands1151 Posts
February 16 2013 18:04 GMT
#2
She might be very shy as you've noted before? And wants to talk in person rather than texting? (Can't imagine that last one to be honest.) You should ask though, when you're meeting her again. Just do it subtly. I doubt the way you acted is the reason she doesn't reply anymore. There's something else to this. ^^ Don't worry so much about it, and just ask her when you meet her!
|| ''I think we have all experienced passion that is not in any sense reasonable.'' ||
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
February 16 2013 18:49 GMT
#3
yup. Still a better love story than twilight! I think if you guys keep on talking then it will get clearer. I would also stop trying to force it if she is shy and just go with the flow.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
Kaeru
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Sweden552 Posts
February 16 2013 19:11 GMT
#4
--- Nuked ---
Nos-
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada12016 Posts
February 16 2013 19:54 GMT
#5
your tldr made me laugh really really hard, and if that's all it is, i don't think you have much to worry about.
Bronze player stuck in platinum
krndandaman
Profile Joined August 2009
Mozambique16569 Posts
February 16 2013 20:05 GMT
#6
--- Nuked ---
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2013 20:56 GMT
#7
Mmmmm vietnamese girls. I happen to know a really pretty/cute/adorable girl who is 3/4 vietnamese 1/4 french. GL bro, although it sounds like you'll need it ><
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
February 16 2013 21:19 GMT
#8
you screamed desperate the entire time
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
Kuni
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Austria765 Posts
February 16 2013 21:32 GMT
#9
You know, women also tend to keep conversations up for the sake of not having to deal with the response from denying a guys feelings. That's when they answer to your texts, questions etc, but don't overdo it, don't answer ALL the time, keep their answers short, now and then asking a question, but not getting deeper into a conversation and most of all not showing real active interest.
bonus vir semper tiro
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 16 2013 21:36 GMT
#10
On February 17 2013 06:19 arb wrote:
you screamed desperate the entire time

Yea I didn't want to say that but that's pretty much how I read it too.
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
February 16 2013 21:59 GMT
#11
On February 17 2013 06:36 EtherealDeath wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 17 2013 06:19 arb wrote:
you screamed desperate the entire time

Yea I didn't want to say that but that's pretty much how I read it too.

No offense, but yeah that's kind of what I got too...sort of awkward >.<

I say let it play out and see how it goes though ^^ don't worry too much.
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
Snowbear
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Korea (South)1925 Posts
February 16 2013 23:37 GMT
#12
She doesn't like you. If a girl likes you, she will try to get your attention.
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
February 17 2013 00:10 GMT
#13
sounds like you came across as too needy from the start.
she was interested in you until you started gagging for her attention.
oops
Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
I_Love_Katheryn
Profile Blog Joined February 2013
United States41 Posts
February 17 2013 00:31 GMT
#14
On February 17 2013 09:10 FFGenerations wrote:
sounds like you came across as too needy from the start.
she was interested in you until you started gagging for her attention.
oops


This. I don't have much experience but so far in my life whenever any girl tried to befriend me, she would initially be interested in getting to know me but after she did kind of get to know me she would kind of back off, lol
You've been here in the dark for way too long, do you remember how it felt in the sunlight? You're still smiling through the pain you're hiding in, but everyone can see that something's just not right.
Scarecrow
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Korea (South)9175 Posts
February 17 2013 02:05 GMT
#15
I did a few of these stillborn romances in university. It gets awkward pretty quickly if you play it this needy, you need to just hang out/date immediately in RL, none of these 'darling'/'sweetie' texts and sitting behind her in class. You'd be far better off sitting with friends/another girl if there's no room near her instead of sitting behind her like a lost puppy.
Yhamm is the god of predictions
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 17 2013 06:26 GMT
#16
Let it afk for 2 weeks. And I do mean afk. Either it comes back or it doesn't.
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
February 17 2013 07:45 GMT
#17
Sweetie? Darling? Wtf? Don't say those things unless you two are gf/bf. Screams red flag.

And yeah you're kinda needy bro.

And you don't deserve to have high standards if you've never been in a relationship. I usually read those statements as "I'm just using this as an excuse to not put myself on the line and get rejected"
EtherealDeath
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States8366 Posts
February 17 2013 08:56 GMT
#18
On February 17 2013 16:45 FractalsOnFire wrote:
Sweetie? Darling? Wtf? Don't say those things unless you two are gf/bf. Screams red flag.

And yeah you're kinda needy bro.

And you don't deserve to have high standards if you've never been in a relationship. I usually read those statements as "I'm just using this as an excuse to not put myself on the line and get rejected"

Yea those are generally pretty big red flags. It's like "hi there I'm running the bases like it's a 50m sprint". Which may work but oftentimes leaves the other person being like "uhhh, what in the fuck".
ThePhan2m
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Norway2751 Posts
February 17 2013 11:48 GMT
#19
Yea, don't contact anymore for a while. If she is slightly interested, she will contact you and miss your attention. If not, let her be. Treat her well and still say hi etc when you meet her. But DONT be desperate if you want to have your chance. Be funny, be respectable and interesting.
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
February 17 2013 12:24 GMT
#20
God damn, girls who don't understand what you mean when you ask them out are the worst lol. From your texts she doesn't sound remotely into you and you sound extremely awkward using words like darling. But maybe she is just being inexperienced and your ludicrous choice of words is endearing. Good luck anyway.
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