Okay so, a friend of mine did something really amazing for me. He sent me a text yesterday, saying that I should go to the local library to meet him after school ended. I did, and he apparently set up this really cool treasure-hunt thing for me. He led me all the way up to the top of the mall, above the carparks, and beside the ventilation vents. He had hid my present in a storage unit of a fire hose.
There was a hand-written note and a plaque that he painted. The plaque had my motto on it. It's an amazing gift. If you're reading this, thank you, again.
The clues of the hunt
I also got some books from my friends (bought with the money they gave). They know me well.
The loot. I still have around $120 to spend though.
Easily the best birthday I've ever had. The icing on the cake is the blog below.
I've been told that Fahrenheit 451 is worth a second read once you get a brain between your ears, as most English classes do a hellacious job with it. Hint: It's not about censorship.
Everyone should have an Oscar Wilde phase in high school, just don't get too attached.
Fahrenheit 451 is an extremly important book to read in order to better understand society and politics. As well as Brave new world and 1984. These are not simple books, something similar but more simply is "animals farm"? or "the farm of animals" not sure as i read it only in Italian.
Btw about your girl blog, seems nice, i would text her before the date, saying looking foward to seeying you! or something along those lines. Are you planning on kissing her? cause you should. Go to the park near the library (if any are available) take her hand (while your sitting down or standing) . If she doesn t object but rather holds your hand too kiss her. Simple. like 1+1=2 . Don' t let her do her own thing. She already took the initiative by asking you if the library had the book in your previous blog. Now its time for you to make your move. In chess we take turns in moving our pieces. If you feel like you are not ready yet to kiss her, take her hand and caress her at least. That will clear to her (if she has any doubts) how you feel about her. Remember girls have the same doubts boys have. So good luck and have fun!
Happy birthday, buddy! Sounds like you had a really wonderful day. That gift your friend gave you is pretty amazing (and the method of delivery as well).
Seems like you're doing well with the girl, too. Maybe try to gently escalate things a bit by inviting her out to have a drink or something? I suppose you're not allowed to drink alcohol yet, though. Tea, perhaps? I don't know what you kids drink these days. Energy drinks??
Loved the second book you recommend, a love book You sly dog!!!
You just need to keep her friendly and try and get out of the Library for your next date Try a movie or just a walk or something else! But well done! You both seem happy with how it went :D
Happy birthday, and I'm glad the library date worked out well! It sounds like it was a total success in breaking the ice! I agree with Pandemona that next time you might be able to choose a different venue than the library The treasure hunt idea for your gift was really cool too ^^
On January 29 2013 20:21 vGl-CoW wrote: Happy birthday, buddy! Sounds like you had a really wonderful day. That gift your friend gave you is pretty amazing (and the method of delivery as well).
Seems like you're doing well with the girl, too. Maybe try to gently escalate things a bit by inviting her out to have a drink or something? I suppose you're not allowed to drink alcohol yet, though. Tea, perhaps? I don't know what you kids drink these days. Energy drinks??
On January 29 2013 20:21 vGl-CoW wrote: Happy birthday, buddy! Sounds like you had a really wonderful day. That gift your friend gave you is pretty amazing (and the method of delivery as well).
Seems like you're doing well with the girl, too. Maybe try to gently escalate things a bit by inviting her out to have a drink or something? I suppose you're not allowed to drink alcohol yet, though. Tea, perhaps? I don't know what you kids drink these days. Energy drinks??
Sounds like you had a fantastic birthday! It definitely seems like she's into you, as she is willing to read the book you recommend. Make sure that you let her know you're into her too by trying out some things that she really likes! This date was kind of about you and your interests, make the next one about her and her interests. That shows that you're into her and you respect her. Yay for you!
On January 29 2013 20:21 vGl-CoW wrote: Happy birthday, buddy! Sounds like you had a really wonderful day. That gift your friend gave you is pretty amazing (and the method of delivery as well).
Seems like you're doing well with the girl, too. Maybe try to gently escalate things a bit by inviting her out to have a drink or something? I suppose you're not allowed to drink alcohol yet, though. Tea, perhaps? I don't know what you kids drink these days. Energy drinks??
Ahaha, I'm just picturing two teenagers going out for an energy drink or two. Such a weird scenario.
This was a nice blog. It made me happy. You obviously have incredible friends, and the things happening with the lady friend seem really positive
I get stuck a lot at the place you're at. With girls, I mean. Sometimes after just hanging out with a girl 2 or 3 times (on accident), it becomes really tough (for me anyway) to ask them out. Its much easier for me to just ask out someone I just met. Its paradoxical, I guess, since these "accidental" get together usually go really well, I just have trouble formalizing things once they've already tumbled onto their own path, if you understand what I mean.
Sounds like you have great friends Life is just much more pleasant with good friends who care.
I get stuck a lot at the place you're at. With girls, I mean. Sometimes after just hanging out with a girl 2 or 3 times (on accident), it becomes really tough (for me anyway) to ask them out. Its much easier for me to just ask out someone I just met. Its paradoxical, I guess, since these "accidental" get together usually go really well, I just have trouble formalizing things once they've already tumbled onto their own path, if you understand what I mean.
Same, I've known this girl for 5 years, it's not that we hang out or something but you know, we meet in classes and such. How do I ask her out? We're practically friends so to speak. Oh well, I'm just gonna try.
On January 29 2013 20:21 vGl-CoW wrote: Happy birthday, buddy! Sounds like you had a really wonderful day. That gift your friend gave you is pretty amazing (and the method of delivery as well).
Seems like you're doing well with the girl, too. Maybe try to gently escalate things a bit by inviting her out to have a drink or something? I suppose you're not allowed to drink alcohol yet, though. Tea, perhaps? I don't know what you kids drink these days. Energy drinks??
On January 29 2013 20:21 vGl-CoW wrote: Happy birthday, buddy! Sounds like you had a really wonderful day. That gift your friend gave you is pretty amazing (and the method of delivery as well).
Seems like you're doing well with the girl, too. Maybe try to gently escalate things a bit by inviting her out to have a drink or something? I suppose you're not allowed to drink alcohol yet, though. Tea, perhaps? I don't know what you kids drink these days. Energy drinks??
You can never go wrong with a pint of mountain dew.
On January 29 2013 19:15 Jerubaal wrote: I've been told that Fahrenheit 451 is worth a second read once you get a brain between your ears, as most English classes do a hellacious job with it. Hint: It's not about censorship.
Everyone should have an Oscar Wilde phase in high school, just don't get too attached.
I think I read Fahrenheit for fun, after reading animal farm. And then I read 1984 a few years earlier than was necessary.
Whatever you do OP, do not get into Ayn Rand. You can hate her and disagree with her dogma all you want, but as John Rogers said: "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
1. Arguing over the word "marabou" is hilarious. 2. I checked your overall blog and actually made an o_O face at my computer. 3. Glad things worked out for you. Not totally sure about her reaction, but I suppose for someone who argues about the word marabou, I suppose innuendo isn't always on the mind. 4. This is still adorable.
On January 29 2013 19:15 Jerubaal wrote: I've been told that Fahrenheit 451 is worth a second read once you get a brain between your ears, as most English classes do a hellacious job with it. Hint: It's not about censorship.
Everyone should have an Oscar Wilde phase in high school, just don't get too attached.
I think I read Fahrenheit for fun, after reading animal farm. And then I read 1984 a few years earlier than was necessary.
Whatever you do OP, do not get into Ayn Rand. You can hate her and disagree with her dogma all you want, but as John Rogers said: "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
On January 29 2013 19:15 Jerubaal wrote: I've been told that Fahrenheit 451 is worth a second read once you get a brain between your ears, as most English classes do a hellacious job with it. Hint: It's not about censorship.
Everyone should have an Oscar Wilde phase in high school, just don't get too attached.
I think I read Fahrenheit for fun, after reading animal farm. And then I read 1984 a few years earlier than was necessary.
Whatever you do OP, do not get into Ayn Rand. You can hate her and disagree with her dogma all you want, but as John Rogers said: "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."
Welp, guess I should read atlas shrugged then. Time to fuck up my chances at a normal adulthood . Happy birthday Azera, and get that chica!
Thanks for the well wishes everybody, I will try and get "that girl". I don't know though, I'm not very confident. I think I might lay back for a bit, and see if she texts me first.
On January 30 2013 17:42 Azera wrote: Thanks for the well wishes everybody, I will try and get "that girl". I don't know though, I'm not very confident. I think I might lay back for a bit, and see if she texts me first.
In all likelihood she's just as uncertain and awkward as you are. Many girls will never pick up the phone first in "early" dating stages like this. Stop being so uncertain - everything you've written seems super positive. It's time to step up and invite her out to the movies or something AND MAKE A MOVE like trying to kiss her. From what I've read all lights seem green in this blog and you would be stupid and maybe even ruin your chances if you back off now due to your insecurities. You need to make a real move and that will establish very quickly if she is really interested in more than friendship - and from there you can either progress your relationship then or move on.
On January 30 2013 17:42 Azera wrote: Thanks for the well wishes everybody, I will try and get "that girl". I don't know though, I'm not very confident. I think I might lay back for a bit, and see if she texts me first.
In all likelihood she's just as uncertain and awkward as you are. Many girls will never pick up the phone first in "early" dating stages like this. Stop being so uncertain - everything you've written seems super positive. It's time to step up and invite her out to the movies or something AND MAKE A MOVE like trying to kiss her. From what I've read all lights seem green in this blog and you would be stupid and maybe even ruin your chances if you back off now due to your insecurities. You need to make a real move and that will establish very quickly if she is really interested in more than friendship - and from there you can either progress your relationship then or move on.
Valentines is 2 weeks away, should I try to do something between now and then?
On January 30 2013 17:42 Azera wrote: Thanks for the well wishes everybody, I will try and get "that girl". I don't know though, I'm not very confident. I think I might lay back for a bit, and see if she texts me first.
In all likelihood she's just as uncertain and awkward as you are. Many girls will never pick up the phone first in "early" dating stages like this. Stop being so uncertain - everything you've written seems super positive. It's time to step up and invite her out to the movies or something AND MAKE A MOVE like trying to kiss her. From what I've read all lights seem green in this blog and you would be stupid and maybe even ruin your chances if you back off now due to your insecurities. You need to make a real move and that will establish very quickly if she is really interested in more than friendship - and from there you can either progress your relationship then or move on.
+1
Here is a song to boost your moral and confidence. She wants you. You want her. Can you dig it
Wow, you guys really think that she's interested and not just being very sociable at all? Damn. I hope I'm socially retarded and that you're all right.
On January 30 2013 17:42 Azera wrote: Thanks for the well wishes everybody, I will try and get "that girl". I don't know though, I'm not very confident. I think I might lay back for a bit, and see if she texts me first.
In all likelihood she's just as uncertain and awkward as you are. Many girls will never pick up the phone first in "early" dating stages like this. Stop being so uncertain - everything you've written seems super positive. It's time to step up and invite her out to the movies or something AND MAKE A MOVE like trying to kiss her. From what I've read all lights seem green in this blog and you would be stupid and maybe even ruin your chances if you back off now due to your insecurities. You need to make a real move and that will establish very quickly if she is really interested in more than friendship - and from there you can either progress your relationship then or move on.
Valentines is 2 weeks away, should I try to do something between now and then?
Yes. While it's going well and she's already agreed to a second meeting, not contacting her for 2 weeks and waiting for valentines day would just be plain weird. Invite her for something - make it outside of school and most importantly, make a move that shows you want more than friendship. Like holding hands while you walk. If that goes well, you can go for that kiss later otherwise, just relax, don't over think things and be yourself.
Incidentally, your/her age and her/your previous dating experience levels (if any), and your/her ethnic background are helpful things to know to give advice
On January 30 2013 18:52 Sinep wrote: Incidentally, your/her age and her/your previous dating experience levels (if any), and your/her ethnic background are helpful things to know to give advice
Oh, right. I thought I said this in the previous blog. I'm 16, and she's a year younger than I am. We're Chinese. This was my first time "going out" with a girl, and she's had some relationship experience before from what I know. I haven't asked her about any of it though.
Honestly you'll do fine as it is, but fine since you asked for it here are my thoughts.
1. Don't Stop~
Yes the ~tilde~ was deliberate to give the bold heading a more suggestive tone. I'm just trying to say that you must stay true to your course. Sometimes when you are overly enthusiastic you start thinking about what "more" can you do to make things even better. While that in itself is not a bad thing, it opens the possibility of opening several negative tangents to your approach to this relationship such as over-thinking (leading to inaction, re: Hamlet by Shakespeare) and obsession.
So what do I really mean by don't stop? Don't stop being yourself. Damn that was so cliche and I don't even have the accent on the e to make it look legit. Don't stop what you do but do stop when you start becoming something you're really not. Shit you hear like "alpha male" and "chicks dig bad boys" and "nice guys finish last" don't necessarily apply to every relationship in the world. She already went out, on a one-on-one, intimate (oh I know how intimate the library can be, *wink wink*) date with you - shit man you are fucking alpha of the alpha in her eyes and your knowledge about that marabou word and Vonnegut make you the biggest bad boy ever. Okay that some bullshit I spew out but you get the point, right? Stick that thought into your head and don't let anybody or anything break it.
2. The Comfort Zone
Still think there are things to consider? How about this - think about the difference between expanding your comfort zone versus stepping out of it. In both cases you're going a step further than you've ever been before. Expanding the comfort zone (sorry, loosely defined term and you'll have to go along for now) means that you've taken it slow and gave it time for the old you to evolve into the new you. Stepping out means doing something you're not comfortable with and/or don't find it enjoyable for the sake of what you think she'll like better or appreciate. When you step out, the only thing that will satisfy you / justify your effort is either feeling a satisfactory response (e.g. "oh that is sooo sweet I love it this is so nice of you it's the best anybody's ever done for me I definitely want your cock now" shit sorry I wandered off) or getting her to reciprocate the same or higher level of effort. This sets off a chain of "topping each other" which doesn't end well, as you may have already guessed.
It will actually be a necessary thing, this comfort zone thing. No matter how many things you find common with her, there will be thousands and millions more things you'll discover about her that currently sits outside of your comfort zone. Of course because she's so perfect for you (am I writing advice or fanfic here?) you'll be blind to it at least for a few days. Then you'll realize, piece by piece, that the ideal goddess marble statue you thought you won turns out to have a bunch of scratches and impurities and bird shit and so on. You can clean the bird shit off (minor items), repair the scratches (non-minor items), but you'll have to accept and even appreciate that the impurities make it (her) unique, the only one in the world. Shit man if someone told me this advice 6 years earlier in my life...
3. The Proposal
I have a habit of making these bold headings a lot more than what I'm actually going to discuss. I'm talking here about how to open up to each other; in other words, communication. In general (because exceptions always exist) girls don't like it when the guy is a chatterbox and won't fucking shut up. I know some guys are like this, especially when around women, because 1) they are nervous, 2) they feel the need to verbally assure their 'superior' status, 3) they want the girl to notice them, and 4) they don't want uncomfortable silences. On the opposite side of the spectrum, if you ain't talking, shit ain't going nowhere. Oh yes you can play the little game of push-and-pull by not responding to her calls/text for a few days then all of a sudden spamming her with so much attention (it does get her confused and she will think about you) but once you're at a certain point you stop doing that little game shit and open up for real. At the high school level where things are innocent and genuine, I'd say (again) don't do unnecessary things and stay on-course.
Keep the communication going. Don't talk like a little six year old with her first ever barbie doll house. Be a good listener by paying full attention to what she's saying instead of formulating the "perfect" response in your head. Keeping things humourous is a definite plus but know when to be serious. Remember, there will be moments that you'll need to stick to very simple words and the truth in your heart.
Example of Don't: "Uhhh, I sort of think that we should maybe, you know, because we both like library and literature and all, that maybe you - uh I mean we - could go to the library again on Thursday, yeah like if that's not a good day with you that's fine and uhhh but if that's okay and if you're hungry right now and have nobody else to eat with and because the cafeteria is serving special fries today then we could have lunch to talk more about it if you want..."
Example of Do: "I really enjoyed going to library with you last time, and I would like for us to do it again this Thursday. But for now, how about lunch?"
4. The Actual Proposal
Now when you have too many of this super platonic no-touchy-touchy library dates yes the I'm going to use the dreaded word: friendzone! Let me do that again with your words, (read it slowly) library-brother-zone (that actually sounds a lot worse).
So let's say because I think it's the most plausible scenario, that you two totally fall in love (awwwww) and it's so painfully obvious to ALL your friends that you two are meant to be (popular idea in high school) but you two have been denying it and saying you're just good friends. Inside you already know and have rehearsed (despite my best advices above) the epic release of the most true fiery passions of your heart and soul which has enough power (and some) to turn the most cruel winter winds into gentle spring breezes and flowers will bloom in your path and cherry blossom petals will descent slowly at 5cm/s. Or maybe you've watched too many dramas and prefer some ridiculously tragic scenario with torrential rain (no umbrellas) in the dimly lit empty muddy park with heart-wrenching ballad playing the background and something along the lines of "why did you murder my father" and "because I love you".
You know what I'll just write an "Azera x (you pick name / pen name)" fanfic later when I have time.
In short, you just need to say it. Your heart will be pounding out of your eye sockets and your mind will take a sudden vacation to Uranus but you will fucking man up and say it. What words to say? That's for you to decide!
It's good to take it slow, but be sure to make your intentions know (kiss on the cheek and whatnot). Otherwise she might think you're not into her like that and then your screwed.
since you are young and both chinese, i would not heed the advice of making a bold physical move yet. but you do need to gradually ease into becoming more "physical" and "suggestive" -- and otherwise, indeed you might risk being friendzoned. (although in conservative asians, friendzoning is not always quite the death sentence that people make it out to be) start small -- you can start with the basic chivalry stuff (holding the door, guiding her away with your arms from the street when a car rushes past you etc.) and also try to talk about more things to pertain to date/romance etc. of course, flirting of some sort would be nice too. but yeah, definitely don't bum-rush her by a surprise kiss -- it might be the move to make in other contexsts, but in yours, i think it is more likely to cause a negative reaction.
EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/IDdupjz.jpg)
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You sly dog!!!
The treasure hunt idea for your gift was really cool too ^^ 
