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This Saturday I was at this party with some colleagues and friends from work. Everything's awesome, we drink, trash furniture and generally have a great time. So, when we later decided to leave what remained of the apartment and went downtown to get even more drunk and to play the usual "See-If-You-Can-Hit-A-Bar-That-Doesn't-Play-Gangnam Style"-game, things got interesting. The latter never goes well and after what seemed like several hours of dancing like a moron I was starting to consider whether or not the guards thought my friend and I were on some kind of drug because we were unstoppable.
Anyway, one of my co-workers who I were with that night has this awesome girlfriend (spoiler: it's not her) and ALL OF A SUDDEN she brings in this gigantic group of girls which is cool and all, because at this point I'm so pumped on adrenaline and beer that my brain probably never really got to realize what happened at that very moment since the guy:girl ratio shifted so tremendously fast. It was almost like a meteor full of chicks crashed.
So, I quickly introduce myself all the way around, but about halfway through the group I stumble upon this qtpie (let's just refer to her in the future as... Girl#1) and in that instant I almost forgot my name. Anyhow, after staring at her for probably too long I manage to introduce myself (and vice versa) and everybody re-enters the dance craze once again. At some point, about half of us decide to step outside for a little while to catch some fresh air and it's somewhere around here that it hits me so hard that I'm still not sure if it wasn't a meteor, that I should go get her number! When I go inside again I realize she's gone.. I look around for a few minutes but to no avail. She's gone. Crap.
The next day I pop onto Facebook and message that co-workers girlfriend who just happens to know who she is. We chat a little and at some point I manage to (almost jokingly) throw it in there: "I should have got Girl#1's number!" and BOOM: she messages me her number and even links me her Facebook page and tells me she's a sweet girl and that it couldn't hurt to go for it.
I'm no Johnny Depp Don Juan, but under normal circumstances I probably wouldn't have hesitated to contact Girl#1, but the thing is.. we didn't really talk/hang out/blah that night. We just danced in the same vicinity and introduced ourselves to each other casually by name. It somehow feels kinda.. weird to me to just message her or friend her on Facebook when we're more or less complete strangers to each other or is that just me? And I can't stop thinking about how I should approach this.. "Hey, it's me, that guy who you shook hands with two days ago at some bar! You like coffee?" or "Random dude wants to be your friend"-request on Facebook or whatever.. I know I haven't really got anything to lose apart from a few days worth of pride and the always-problematic hurdle with rejection. It annoys me to hell, because even though I'm an introvert, go to Engineering college where we cry ourselves to sleep because of stressing homework more than we talk, I work with customers (face-to-face, no telephones!) and shouldn't be afraid to approach people.
I'm not much for turning TL into a dating bureau, but I like this place because it's full of like-minded people. What would you do in a situation like this? And why am I being such a bitch about it? I can be almost anonymous about it if it doesn't work out, because of the fact that we don't actually know each other. I can't help but picture myself with a neon sign hovering over my head, saying "Creeper" if I randomly throw a message in her direction with "HI!! You probably don't remember me, but I've been thinking about you non-stop for the past 48 hours. I.. uhm, like, you know.. fancy pizza?" My mind currently feels like a black hole flew past and took every single rational thought with it.. and probably also some of my confidence.
Oh! And this is my first blog entry on TL, so here's a kitty in a cardboard race car for your dedication! + Show Spoiler +
Hugs and kisses,
Left4Cookies
  
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Just be honest and call her up saying that you found her attractive and would like to spend time with her.
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Just be honest and confident. I'm by no means an expert at this, but saying something like "Hey, I think I met you the other day and you seemed pretty nice, maybe want to go get some coffee?". If you're really not feeling confident you could see if you can hook it up as a double date with the friend who has the awesome girlfriend.
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I remember meeting a girl this one time, she was nice and cute and my friend comes over and says 'hey whos your friend, she looks pretty hot, introduce me to her and don't worry I wont cock block you' later that night as we were going back to the hotel room he ends up stealing her into his room! wtf... thankfully me and my mate kept calling them all night so they didn't have sex.... but geee don't let that happen to you!
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On November 13 2012 07:41 aka_star wrote:
I remember meeting a girl this one time, she was nice and cute and my friend comes over and says 'hey whos your friend, she looks pretty hot, introduce me to her and don't worry I wont cock block you' later that night as we were going back to the hotel room he ends up stealing her into his room! wtf... thankfully me and my mate kept calling them all night so they didn't have sex.... but geee don't let that happen to you!
I told you we only shared a room together, nothing more. She had a boyfriend anyway.
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On November 13 2012 07:41 aka_star wrote:
I remember meeting a girl this one time, she was nice and cute and my friend comes over and says 'hey whos your friend, she looks pretty hot, introduce me to her and don't worry I wont cock block you' later that night as we were going back to the hotel room he ends up stealing her into his room! wtf... thankfully me and my mate kept calling them all night so they didn't have sex.... but geee don't let that happen to you!
That's pretty hilarious lol. I can just imagine the sexual tension in the air, and then...the phone rings. Over and over again.
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On November 13 2012 07:43 Reno(TE) wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2012 07:41 aka_star wrote:
I remember meeting a girl this one time, she was nice and cute and my friend comes over and says 'hey whos your friend, she looks pretty hot, introduce me to her and don't worry I wont cock block you' later that night as we were going back to the hotel room he ends up stealing her into his room! wtf... thankfully me and my mate kept calling them all night so they didn't have sex.... but geee don't let that happen to you! I told you we only shared a room together, nothing more. She had a boyfriend anyway.
So why didn't you let me take her back to the hotel room?
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Oh shit drama. Is it bad I can't tell whether or not this is serious? :/
EDIT: I'm a fucking idiot, this can't be serious.
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On November 13 2012 07:50 kollin wrote:
Oh shit drama. Is it bad I can't tell whether or not this is serious? :/
EDIT: I'm a fucking idiot, this can't be serious.
It happened for real, and this was during an SC2 event if you can believe that. Plus the girl was Korean... I forgive him but I still like to bring this up anytime our friendship is in question.
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On November 13 2012 07:50 kollin wrote:
Oh shit drama. Is it bad I can't tell whether or not this is serious? :/
EDIT: I'm a fucking idiot, this can't be serious.
This actually did happen to me when I was playing at WCS UK finals, me and aka_star are still good buddies to this day though xD
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On November 13 2012 07:55 Reno(TE) wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2012 07:50 kollin wrote:
Oh shit drama. Is it bad I can't tell whether or not this is serious? :/
EDIT: I'm a fucking idiot, this can't be serious. This actually did happen to me when I was playing at WCS UK finals, me and aka_star are still good buddies to this day though xD
Oh that's pretty funny. I have to say I think only Brits could come up with the idea of repeatedly phoning someone over and over to stop them from getting laid ^^
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I find your sense of humour amusing and energetic.
I think there are a couple possible reasons you are not so sure about messaging her. For one, you've already made this a huge deal.
picture myself with a neon sign hovering over my head, saying "Creeper" if I randomly throw a message in her direction with "HI!! You probably don't remember me, but I've been thinking about you non-stop for the past 48 hours
Don't say the past 48 hours part. That's you trying to move things far too quickly. This podcast i listen to said "one thing people look for in a partner is good judgement." If you are already going crazy to just get a date, that's bad judgement isn't it? You gotta have some of that crazy love juice that you're getting drunk on, but have you not had too much? You also need a good sense of reality to know the appropriate approach.
That, along with the fact that, yeah you kinda already did mess up.. and likely lost some points there. On first impression you failed to use your good feelings for her to help you move things along.
Your friend's girlfriend is evidently willing to help. Can she help you ease things a little better? Maybe help you guys hangout again??
I was also just reading a girl blog with a funny little blurb by a guy who was self-proclaimedly "ugly as shit" who had improved his game by "playing the odds" and getting hung up on one person but instead know that they are all possible partners..
Anyways, if i was you, i'd keep it friendly and flirty rather than "omg lets go on a date i am head over heeeeelzz." Desperate rarely looks cute.. GL~
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Oh and also forgot to add, aka_star has a wife ...
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On November 13 2012 08:05 Reno(TE) wrote:
Oh and also forgot to add, aka_star has a wife ...
That's true, but for someone to say I wont cock block you and then do what you did... you broke the trust and loyalty between US... its my choice to break it between my wife and I not yours!
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Aww glgl! Also LOL at reno and aka_star's story XD
Hope to hear back from you with a success story, cookies! That is quite the dilemma you have there, though, for sure.
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United States579 Posts
I vote you just call her and be totally up front about it because really, it's like you said you have nothing to lose except a little pride. Or, maybe contact the friend that gave you Girl#1's number in the first place and tell her you'll buy her a Starbucks gift card or something like that if she sets you up on a casual date with Girl#1. Or just ask her to do it out of the kindness in her heart I guess. But getting in on the friend's good side is always a plus with the ladies.
My $.02 is complete. GLHF though!
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Yeah, I would say that objectively speaking you have a lot more to gain than you have to lose, so you should do it. Maybe to break the tension you could have your friend introduce you guys, saying you never got a chance to talk to her or something? Aah I don't know. I'm probably 100x worse at this than you are 
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Tbh i think you will regret it to much if you didnt go for it.
By no means, it shouldn't be an all in, but maybe she's looking for a nice guy to spend some time with aswell.
Coffee doesn't hurt!
and you're studying engineering? DTU ? :>
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Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something.
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On November 13 2012 12:11 ~ava wrote:
Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something.
Don't do this. This is only cute if you already know each other.
Get your friend to organize a group thing with that girl and talk to her more there. It might be awesome of her if she could make it so you were the only two singles going. If that's not really a possibility just call her. If you aren't going to find another way then you really have nothing to lose.
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I once told a girl I liked her breasts. It worked! We were not the classiest people at the time I admit...
... Hmm where was I going with this? Oh yeah, same as it ever was: put yourself out there. She says yes: yay! She says no: nutcracker, but there will be another. Wait too long: she won't!
I know it's always easier to say, "Just do it," but that's basically the solution to achieving nearly every goal in life.
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WHY HASN'T ANYONE EVEN COMMENTED ON THE KITTY CARDBOARD RACE CAR!?!? That is fucking hilarious! I gave you 5/5 just for that! The look on that cat's face . . . it look like he/she's really pissed off at being forced into doing something cute. Did he/she go in there by his/herself?
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Just add her, tell her you want to find out if her personality can live upto the standards her beauty sets. (Or something.)
The point is, you found her attractive physically and barely know anything about her. Don't pussy foot around that if you don't have to,
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Honestly I found that just letting a girl know that you want to get to know her more works better than you'd think.
Sometimes if I really don't have any reason to talk to a girl, I just say it outright that I want to get to know them more, and start talking a little bit.
Also that kitty cat looks so cute and hilarious.
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The easy way is to be confident, a little forward, and sweet. Just tell her, "I found you really smart and attractive, and maybe you could grace my presence with a date sometimes (with a natural smile here)?" then you can follow it up with (after a yes), "Great (small laugh here) well I'll pick you up this weekend, and take you on an awesome date to X, Y, Z places (the best places are little gems that you can really hit it off with her, not like some random bar or club) and you can set the time, after all you are gracing my time  ." Seriously, this girls seems to be the sweet girl type.
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Thank you for your time and advice everyone. I think I've gained the little confidence needed to tip the scale. Now I'm going to the gym to sprint a marathon while conjuring something smooth to go with, be it a SURPRISE! ! Facebook invitation or something over the phone.
On November 13 2012 09:51 Kanaz wrote:
and you're studying engineering? DTU ? :>
Nope, Aarhus 
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On November 13 2012 07:32 Left4Cookies wrote:
And I can't stop thinking about how I should approach this.. "Hey, it's me, that guy who you shook hands with two days ago at some bar! You like coffee?" or "Random dude wants to be your friend"-request on Facebook or whatever..
Oh my god kid, where the fuck is your balls. That's so utterly pathetic. "Hey its me the guy you shook hands with two days ago ?" Are you kidding me ? You're so special that she is going to remember you over all the other people's hands she probably shook that day....right. You did nothing memorable and you're just another no name, soon to be completely forgotten stranger in her book and here you are pining away like some love sick school boy while some callous, dont-give-a-fuck dude is pumping her full of cock.
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On November 13 2012 19:05 RomanianSavior wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2012 07:32 Left4Cookies wrote:
And I can't stop thinking about how I should approach this.. "Hey, it's me, that guy who you shook hands with two days ago at some bar! You like coffee?" or "Random dude wants to be your friend"-request on Facebook or whatever.. Oh my god kid, where the fuck is your balls. That's so utterly pathetic. "Hey its me the guy you shook hands with two days ago ?" Are you kidding me ? You're so special that she is going to remember you over all the other people's hands she probably shook that day....right. You did nothing memorable and you're just another no name, soon to be completely forgotten stranger in her book and here you are pining away like some love sick school boy while some callous, dont-give-a-fuck dude is pumping her full of cock.
That was his point, that he wouldn't be remembered at all because he did nothing to stand out.
And @OP, just call her or add her on facebook already (I'm sure you have mutual friends so it isn't 'just some random guy'). The worst thing that can happen is she says no.
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Okay, so I texted her, she texted me back not knowing who exactly I was and we exchanged a few more after that with me shrugging it off as if it was no biggie, making a joke, trying to point her in the right direction (by briefly talking about who I was with because I knew she knew them and so on). So after about an hour and a half where we do this, I ask her out for coffee again (my opening message also had this element). This is an hour and a half ago. Nowhere during our chat did she seem like she would throw me away, she could have done that on multiple occasions! The suspense is killing!
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On November 14 2012 06:34 Left4Cookies wrote:
Okay, so I texted her, she texted me back not knowing who exactly I was and we exchanged a few more after that with me shrugging it off as if it was no biggie, making a joke, trying to point her in the right direction (by briefly talking about who I was with because I knew she knew them and so on). So after about an hour and a half where we do this, I ask her out for coffee again (my opening message also had this element). This is an hour and a half ago. Nowhere during our chat did she seem like she would throw me away, she could have done that on multiple occasions! The suspense is killing!
nice work man! don't let the results matter too much though. The important thing is you tried and so far have not failed miserably. if she's not in just take more shots!
every body!
shots, shots shots
shots! shots-shots
shots and so on -lmfao
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Best choice to to get your friend to organise another event that you can join. Requires patience, but it guarantees better results and you get a second chance to make a good impression, especially if it's dinner at a restaurant or drinks/dessert and not at a dance club.
Edit: oh jeez, just realised you went the cold turkey text route without any way to identify yourself from the other guys she met over the last two days. GL, if you get the coffee date then it's on, but jeez, you could have played this safer instead of a marine-SCV all-in off a low eco 1-base.
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I totally get what you mean 1ntrigue. I was also quite sure you were right, until 20 mins ago when I was eating breakfast. Holy cock, she responds, apologising she didn't answer yesterday and even follows up on my lame joke.
I guess she forgot to pull her workers to defend that all-in.
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On November 13 2012 12:51 fire_brand wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2012 12:11 ~ava wrote:
Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something. Don't do this. This is only cute if you already know each other. Get your friend to organize a group thing with that girl and talk to her more there. It might be awesome of her if she could make it so you were the only two singles going. If that's not really a possibility just call her. If you aren't going to find another way then you really have nothing to lose.
It might take you a couple of hours to get the shading on her upper lip though....
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On November 14 2012 17:02 Left4Cookies wrote:
I totally get what you mean 1ntrigue. I was also quite sure you were right, until 20 mins ago when I was eating breakfast. Holy cock, she responds, apologising she didn't answer yesterday and even follows up on my lame joke.
I guess she forgot to pull her workers to defend that all-in.
So, are you going for that coffee?
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On November 14 2012 17:09 Fumanchu wrote:Show nested quote +On November 13 2012 12:51 fire_brand wrote:On November 13 2012 12:11 ~ava wrote:
Just draw a picture of the girl you want to take out... and give it to her for like a gift or something. Don't do this. This is only cute if you already know each other. Get your friend to organize a group thing with that girl and talk to her more there. It might be awesome of her if she could make it so you were the only two singles going. If that's not really a possibility just call her. If you aren't going to find another way then you really have nothing to lose. It might take you a couple of hours to get the shading on her upper lip though....
Build her a cake or something -pedro voice
so good fumanchu. made my morning
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GOSH!
Asking her out and getting no response for a while is kind of a deathblow. I don't have a lot of experience with girls but I've had some success with suggesting breakfast as a first date instead of coffee, it's a little bit more original and there's no ambiguity, breakfast is definitely a date.
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On November 15 2012 00:33 ~ava wrote:
GOSH!
Asking her out and getting no response for a while is kind of a deathblow. I don't have a lot of experience with girls but I've had some success with suggesting breakfast as a first date instead of coffee, it's a little bit more original and there's no ambiguity, breakfast is definitely a date.
your mom goes to college ! 8-@ !!
good idea, coffee is a little boring, makes your breath smell bad thus no kissing. Orange juice and eggs + morning vibes for the win. or even perhaps a fruit salad or toast n jelly
as long as he's hanging out with her he's better than if he's not hanging with her, therefore he is successful.
by the way, i think that for some hetrosexual females, once they have found you adequate in some way romantically, they will often want some attention even if they're not interested in it going anywhere, which i think is fine, as long as I can keep the right distance without going sweet on her.
"you're not going sweet on that doctor, are ya, jimmy?" - Tychus
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Honestly people hype up talking to girls way too much. You shouldn't be treating it like a math problem, or because you -should- be doing it. Do it if you find talking and hitting on girls fun. Don't stress, if a girl isn't into you just find another there's plenty out there.
But let me give you a super bro tip OP -- call them. Don't fucking text them, CALL THEM when you want to ask them to do something. When you text you run the very possible and common risk of them just flat out not responding or taking like a week to do it. Call them, and force an IMMEDIATE reaction off of them. When you text they can sit around and think about it, force it to be a quick emotional one. Plus when you hear someones voice asking you out it's far more personal and they're more likely to say yes. You can set up a time and get it over with quickly. Plus it makes her feel special since every guy these days just texts. You took time out of your day to call her, it shows your caring and shit. Bitches love caring guys.
Remember, you -might- feel like crap if you get try and get rejected but you will -always- feel like crap if you never try.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/401dM.jpg)
