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Active: 1732 users

Am I being a dick right now?

Blogs > TheKefka
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-13 17:45:28
October 13 2012 17:43 GMT
#1
So my gf ain't answering the phone and my mom is biased as fuck so time to turn for advice to the TL community.
My sister just turned 18 the other day and she's going out.We live in a town near Zagreb(capital of Croatia),it's a 30-40 minute drive and if you want to go out you go to Zagreb obviously.
If you want to get to Zagreb you need to either go with a car or take the bus.Now here's the problem,if you want to go back you need to wait till something like 5 am,or go to the other side of the city for a bus at 3:15 am.Both are a pretty major inconvenience if you want to get home any time soon.

So,she asks me if I can come pick her and a couple of her friends up at 2:30-3 am and drive them back home(this means I need to drive her friends home as well and that means I need to drive and extra 30 minutes around,because both of them aren't even near where I live) and I just really can't be bothered this time.It's not like it's the first time I did it 3 times in the last couple of months.

I'm pretty tired and not in the greatest mood,college started again 3 weeks ago and things picked up really fast so all I wanna do right is just chill out while I can on the weekends when I'm home and go to sleep at a reasonable time.I was thinking that maybe if I go I could stay up and watch the LoL finals starting at 2 am but I never make it through one of those without passing out at a point and just feel like shit the other day.
Another reason is it's raining outside,maybe not anymore actually,I have to check.
This is "my" car+ Show Spoiler +
[image loading]
.At least I wish that my car was in that condition,my version is 20 years old and I don't really feel like driving a bunch of drunk 18 year old's down the high way on a Saturday night while it's raining and I'm half awake.
As I said I picked them up before like this but It's just kinda uncomfortable driving 3 people around in a car with no air bags when it's raining and foggy and I don't wanna deal with it right now.

I asked her if she can split the cost for a taxi with her other 2 friends,but she said that her friends don't have enough money for it because it's too expensive for them.She also doesn't want to ask one of her friends from Zagreb to crash at their place because she feels uncomfortable due to asking and sleeping over a few times before already.
Than I ask if one of their parents can pick her up along with them,to which she replied how one of them is living alone because her parents threw her out of the house and the other one doesn't have a dad and his mother is a paraplegic and doesn't own a car.

Sigh...

Poll: Is Kefka being a dick to his sister right now?

No (50)
 
85%

Yes (9)
 
15%

59 total votes

Your vote: Is Kefka being a dick to his sister right now?

(Vote): Yes
(Vote): No





***
Cackle™
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
October 13 2012 17:48 GMT
#2
She also doesn't want to ask one of her friends from Zagreb to crash at their place because she feels uncomfortable due to asking and sleeping over a few times before already.


The equivalent of you not feeling too comfortable or willing to do it. Except you don't have a direct relationship with her friends.
So nope, pretty much acceptable. Of course we're only hearing your side of it too.
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Coagulation
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States9633 Posts
October 13 2012 17:53 GMT
#3
no your not being a dick at all. Its not your problem.
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
October 13 2012 18:00 GMT
#4
On October 14 2012 02:48 Torte de Lini wrote:
Show nested quote +
She also doesn't want to ask one of her friends from Zagreb to crash at their place because she feels uncomfortable due to asking and sleeping over a few times before already.


The equivalent of you not feeling too comfortable or willing to do it. Except you don't have a direct relationship with her friends.
So nope, pretty much acceptable. Of course we're only hearing your side of it too.

Well her side of it is that I should do it since it's cold outside and she doesn't have anything to do till 5 something am lol.
Cackle™
Cokefreak
Profile Joined June 2011
Finland8095 Posts
October 13 2012 18:01 GMT
#5
When are you not being a dick?
+ Show Spoiler +
<3
sc2superfan101
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
3583 Posts
October 13 2012 18:02 GMT
#6
is she stranded? cuz that's fucked up.

there's no way i'd let my sister be stranded. if not, then no, you're fine.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-13 18:04:22
October 13 2012 18:03 GMT
#7
On October 14 2012 03:02 sc2superfan101 wrote:
is she stranded? cuz that's fucked up.

there's no way i'd let my sister be stranded. if not, then no, you're fine.

What do you mean by stranded?
She's with her friends it's not like she's all alone.
Cackle™
Recognizable
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Netherlands1552 Posts
October 13 2012 18:07 GMT
#8
No, you aren't being a dick. She should just grab a taxi.
TheKefka
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Croatia11752 Posts
October 13 2012 18:09 GMT
#9
w/e I told her to not get hammered too hard and call me if she really needs a ride back that bad.
Cackle™
Incze
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Romania2058 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-13 18:13:46
October 13 2012 18:11 GMT
#10
This is why social obligations suck. No, you're not a dick. Any normal man would be frustrated at an "offer" like this

I mean: look at it this way. By you giving them a ride they gain at the very most 45 minutes (if you arrive there at 2:30 and the bus would normally leave at 3:15) while you lose close to 2 hours, if not more on the road, in the middle of the night. I'd think of them as the real assholes to be asking for this kind of favor
Religion: Buckethead
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
October 13 2012 18:15 GMT
#11
I don't think you're being a dick. However, if you're having this much qualm about what to do, then you probably already know what you should be doing, and you're just trying to convince yourself of the opposite. You've already done it 3 times before in the last couple of months. You're going to end up doing it tonight. You already know that. And you're a super good guy for doing it. Doesn't change that fact that it blows though. Good luck.
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
Gak2
Profile Joined September 2010
Canada418 Posts
October 13 2012 18:28 GMT
#12
well if it's her birthday and you haven't given a birthday gift, tell her this is her birthday gift and you wouldn't need to get her one
Clazziquai10
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Singapore1949 Posts
October 13 2012 18:28 GMT
#13
Look on the bright side yo.....she might have really hot friends
GnarlyArbitrage
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
575 Posts
October 13 2012 18:47 GMT
#14
Your GF isn't answering the phone because you didn't want to give your sister and her friends a ride home at 2 am, which would mean you're getting home even later? Or is she just not answering her phone for whatever reason? If the former, what the fuck...

You don't owe them a ride, they can get a ride. I also like how they already say it's too expensive to get a cab, I'm sure they checked the rates. Very, absolutely sure. /sarcasm Also, how much is the bus? lol

Also, did she plan to get drunk without planning for a ride home? If so, let her reap her own sowing.
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
October 13 2012 18:50 GMT
#15
this is one of those times when girls try to use the fact that they are girls to get something. I'm guessing it went like this
TheKefka, "I'll pick you up IF I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO"
Sister, "sure whatever, sounds good"
later that night
Sister "WE really need a ride home"
TheKefka, "I said to call if IF I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO, why don't you guys have any money for a cab"
Sister "We just got SOO drunk and like this one girl has a parapalegic mom, and hte other got kicked out so we can't crash at any of my friends houses without them not like hating me"

All I'm seeing here is that they planned terribly and shouldn't have gone out if they didnt have another way of getting home. Yeah you should have been a good brother and picked them up, but they shouldn't be doing this expecting special treatment over and over.
User was warned for too many mimes.
imre
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
France9263 Posts
October 13 2012 18:56 GMT
#16
I voted no but I still would do it this time because it's her freaking birthday. I'd not do it for some time tho, and I bet you'll end up doing it (you're on the way when you said that you'd do it if they absolutely need it :D)

On October 14 2012 03:47 DigiGnar wrote:
Your GF isn't answering the phone because you didn't want to give your sister and her friends a ride home at 2 am, which would mean you're getting home even later? Or is she just not answering her phone for whatever reason? If the former, what the fuck...

You don't owe them a ride, they can get a ride. I also like how they already say it's too expensive to get a cab, I'm sure they checked the rates. Very, absolutely sure. /sarcasm Also, how much is the bus? lol

Also, did she plan to get drunk without planning for a ride home? If so, let her reap her own sowing.


I think he's looking for advice from his gf.
Zest fanboy.
DCLXVI
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States729 Posts
October 13 2012 19:12 GMT
#17
Well if you said this to her:

On October 14 2012 03:09 TheKefka wrote:
w/e I told her to not get hammered too hard and call me if she really needs a ride back that bad.


Then she probably thought that she could just call you whenever and get a ride so she did not plan for any other ways to get back. Since you said this has happened a few times in the past few months, you should really sit down and set some rules with her, you will only pick her up between such times or a number of times a month and she will compensate you for each ride. If she is not responsible enough to plan these things out then make sure she knows that you will not be able to drive her whenever she needs.

As for that night, you need to weigh the danger she could be in versus how much you want to make the point that you don't exist to give her rides. Alternatively if you did pick her up you could make her agree to never asking for rides again or something of that nature. It's a shitty situation she put you in, just plan so that this cannot happen next time.
I can already see the ending
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
October 13 2012 19:28 GMT
#18
who the hell goes out without a plan to go home, seems like they're relying on you to be their errand boy, tell her to fuck off and save enough money for a taxi next time
babylon
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
8765 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-10-13 19:41:09
October 13 2012 19:39 GMT
#19
You're not asking "am I being a dick?" so much as asking "should I go pick her up?"

a.) Can she pay for the entire taxi ride herself and get her friends to pay her back later?
> If yes, then wtf, she should get a taxi. (And if she doesn't, go check for a fucking ATM machine or something...)
> If no, go to the next question.

b) Can you drive safely?
> If yes, move onto the next question.
> If no, go discuss with your mom or something, 'cause maybe your parents can go pick her up instead. Just tell them you're not comfortable driving in this kind of weather, especially if you're tired, and imply that something horrible might happen. Seriously, two of their kids in one car in shitty weather? Talk about all the eggs in one basket.

c.) Will your mind rest easy if she doesn't get home?
> If yes, then don't go pick her up and let her figure it out herself. She's 18 and should've planned for a way to get back.
> If no, then you don't have a choice. Go pick her up, then sit her down next time and tell her you're not going to be doing this anymore.
Incze
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Romania2058 Posts
October 13 2012 19:44 GMT
#20
I think babylon's the man with the plan here.
Religion: Buckethead
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