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Some insurance company has commercials with a slogan "Life comes at you fast." In a world with such incredible dishonesty in advertisement, a stark truth. Life will change without giving notice, with or without your consent. People will make decisions, confounding decisions, which will impact your life in ways you'd never imagine possible.
People today... we focus so much on material: on things. Things are what drive our world, it seems. We're inundated with things... worthless, meaningless things surround us, captivate us... they create us, and just the same they destroy us. Robberies, murder, war, all for things. We lust for them, "knowing" that without them, we'll die... but we'll die just the same with them, and our things won't come with us. They won't even be worth much to pass on, yet our entire lives are spent trying to attain these, and for what purpose?
To make ourselves feel good momentarily? To impress people? Nothing more than mental masturbation. Sure, it feels good in the moment, but we're left again empty and unfulfilled--unsatisfied. We never stop to realize just how unsatisfying things are though, instead we trudge along looking for those thirty seconds again. But to what end? Is this all there is? Different forms of masturbation that make me feel alive for just long enough to keep me from quitting early? It can't be. Some sense of fulfillment, of satisfaction must exist beyond this.
For that reason, I've never put much stock into things. They come and go so rapidly. I think back to all the fads when I was a kid. We all collected the same things; if we held on to them for long enough, and kept them in good condition, by the time we were thirty they'd be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars! Pogs and slammers, yo-yo's, Beanie Babies, the lists go on. They're all gone; they're all mostly forgotten, except in that moment of reminiscence between two friends "hey, remember pogs? Those were the days." And that's it: your childhood in two sentences.
Twenty-five years old, and that's my life. "Remember pogs? Those were the days." But they were the days. Life was full of hope back then. What have we to look forward to today? Loose morality, even looser women, a shaky economy, and an absolutely fucked outlook for the the future. Any dreams we had back then changed forever. The world I grew up in no longer exists, and it's just unbelievable how fast it all happened. Now here I am, 25 years old... I know enough about enough things to make money, and get by, but what I've mostly come to realize is just how much there is to know, and how little of it I'll ever know. I'd love all the answers to all of life's questions, but I'll never get them. I'm having a mid-life crisis and I'm not even supposed to be halfway through it yet.
I started writing this today because I clicked on my ex's Facebook page, I was just going to whine about missing her, and all the memories I have. It reminded me of how much happier I was just a few months ago, and how fast my world came crumbling down around me. My overall outlook wasn't all that different, but at least I wasn't alone in it. At least there was that one person there, to keep me upright when I lost my balance, to pick me up when I fell. And for me, the same to her.
I've never had a lot of people in my life, and I think that's something a lot of people here probably relate well too. Most "gamers" that I've met are introverted, loner-types. I like to cut the crap and call it what it is: socially awkward. Somewhere that skill was skipped, we just didn't learn how to interact with others very well. I've seen a lot of people try to kid themselves, saying that "people suck anyway, I don't need them," but more than anything, I think being with other people is what they desire. I know it's true for me, even if it is just one person.
I've had it twice in my life now. The first time I fucked it up. I lost my temper, said things I shouldn't have, and it was over just like that. I promised myself that I'd never make the same mistake; I'd be good to whoever I was with next... I would be everything that someone could want me to be, and I was this time. I didn't do anything wrong. But a "feeling" changed everything... just couldn't see forever any longer. I guess I've never thought of forever. I've always thought of today and tomorrow, maybe a week or two from now, but never forever. How can you? I still don't get it, but the hardest part isn't that we're not together anymore, it's that she's getting along just fine without me. As much as I meant, how can someone do so well, so quickly?
So few would have done what I did... gone through what I went through. I guess gratitude wears off eventually. There's nothing I can do to change things now; I have to move forward somehow, but it's so hard to move forward when you can't stop looking back. What I'd do for one more day... to relive one of them again. But like everything else, it came and went. It happened so much faster than I was ready to accept--completely blindsided. How am I supposed to be happy? Every time it comes, it leaves a bigger hole. To taste it, and have it ripped from your hands... every single time. This is life. Life keeps coming so quickly, and I'm always a step behind.
 
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i gues thats why its important to more actively pursue things that may or will give you that satisfaction... the deeper you pursue them , the more you will get out of them .. the stronger you build your house, the more storm it will weather..
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Are you related to FakeSteve?
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Great post.
I think the thing you touched on that got me thinking was that things only provide a momentary sense of happiness. This is why it is important to find something in your life that provides ongoing happiness, or meaning.
It is very easy to get into the habit of working hard just to get ahead but at the end of the day the direction you streaking is just as important.
This will be different for everyone and I guess finding that direction is what in my opinion it is all about.
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Only hope for an eternity and a world outside of our own can ease your suffering. I think C.S. Lewis said this perfectly,
"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."
Cheers!
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On October 07 2012 09:40 il0seonpurpose wrote:
Only hope for an eternity and a world outside of our own can ease your suffering. I think C.S. Lewis said this perfectly,
"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."
Cheers!
I know you meant well and its probably why I don't think anyone else is going to call you out on this but why give advice to people where that advice means nothing to them? Most people on tl aren't Christians so stuff like that doesn't help them at all and even if the majority was, it doesn't matter because there are people who aren't. I'm not Christian but even if I was I could see this. Its common sense because you're giving a statement that only really means something to a specific group of people. To the people that's not in that group its just clutter. I know this is going to sound hostile but it really isn't which is why I'm not going to point out what I personally disagree with your quotes. The only reasons I actually could see where anything I said doesn't matter is if you and op are acquainted and he is a Christian himself or specifically mention that you're a Christian and this is how it works for you and if the op is curious then he can ask you more about it. Don't assume everyone else believes what you believe in and what works for you, works for everyone else.
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It's possible he read my post the other day. I am Christian. Even if I weren't, I think I'd be okay with what he said though.
I don't mind when say... a Muslim or Mormon voice their opinion. I disagree, but we can certainly do it with respect, and without condescension. I think the latter is where Christians went wrong, and why people can't stand to hear from them anymore... the faith is full of a bunch of condescending cockbags, most of whom are complete hypocrites.
In any case, given the subject matter, I think il0seonpurpose was tactful in his delivery. Even if I weren't Christian, I think I'd have a hard time being upset over his comment.
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im similar to you man. i took my first break up pretty hard too. you get over it though, luckily i was in college at the time.
i am also a loner introvert and socially awkward. yes you are right, humans are beings of communication and need company. i recognize this fact but yet i still have very few contacts. i just dont seem to see eye to eye with alot of people and the ones i would get along with we will probably never meet cause were both socially awkward. funny how it works huh? eventually you just have to embrace your personality and make the best of it. the contacts i do have i do my best to maintain and make plans with, something i used to struggle with. embrace it.
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On October 07 2012 10:34 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:
It's possible he read my post the other day. I am Christian. Even if I weren't, I think I'd be okay with what he said though.
I don't mind when say... a Muslim or Mormon voice their opinion. I disagree, but we can certainly do it with respect, and without condescension. I think the latter is where Christians went wrong, and why people can't stand to hear from them anymore... the faith is full of a bunch of condescending cockbags, most of whom are complete hypocrites.
In any case, given the subject matter, I think il0seonpurpose was tactful in his delivery. Even if I weren't Christian, I think I'd have a hard time being upset over his comment.
I feel a bit silly if he actually did read your post the other day. But if that's not the case I do agree that he is respectful about and that is why I said no one else would have called him out on it. Its not really the specific case but in general I was talking about. Just a minor nitpick that he could have worded it more explicitly where he is coming from and I think people should when writing posts like that. I am just thinking of an example of people who might not know who Cs Lewis is and might attack the content of the quotes in itself instead of just realizing that iloseonpurpose is a Christian and is just giving his opinion about the matter. Like if I didn't know who Cs Lewis was I would have because I disagree with his quote and the other one that iloseonpurpose posted.
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I hear ya man, but things always get better.
I'm in the same boat with the "those were the days" sort of things. What I would give to go back in time and relive waking up on a Saturday morning, watching cartoons and then going to my friends house to play Mario Kart or Pokemon Red/Blue, or coming home after school and turning on channel 11 and watching The Animaniacs. You just need to look forward to what tomorrow might hold. You could go to the store tomorrow to pick up lunch and meet your future wife/husband, or buy a lottery ticket and win the mega millions that night.
We're all in this crazy thing called life together, man. The world may seem crazy out there nowadays and that there's nothing to look forward to, but just remember that what could happen tomorrow could change your life forever 
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It does sound like something would've provoked you to think like this. Of course you'll feel better when you get another girl or after enough time passes. That doesn't make the things you say any less true. You're just overly pessimistic now.
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EPT
