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School is starting tomorrow.
It doesn't feel that way, honestly. It feels more like summer vacation is ending. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I'm not mentally prepared for this.
I severed all contact with friends for a month in order to prepare for a test, only to miss the acceptance line by a sliver. At the moment, my school's Speech and Debate team feels farther away from me then ever, since I'm the only freshman in my thread of speech, and all my friends on debate do their own activities now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to put on a smiling face, walk into school, greet my teachers, and try to be as enthusiastic, respectful, and friendly as possible. I'm going to walk by people that I don't know, that I don't really know anymore, and I'm going to have to be Jasper, the Jasper that everyone knows, but never loves.
Oh well, at least I'm an up-and-coming Speech star of sorts. Except for the fact that whatever joy I get from competing is dulled by the fact that nobody really cares about anything that I accomplish a week after it happens.
Summer sucks, it needs to be shorter so this doesn't happen.
   
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On September 04 2012 08:26 Praetorial wrote: School is starting tomorrow.
It doesn't feel that way, honestly. It feels more like summer vacation is ending. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I'm not mentally prepared for this.
I severed all contact with friends for a month in order to prepare for a test, only to miss the acceptance line by a sliver. At the moment, my school's Speech and Debate team feels farther away from me then ever, since I'm the only freshman in my thread of speech, and all my friends on debate do their own activities now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to put on a smiling face, walk into school, greet my teachers, and try to be as enthusiastic, respectful, and friendly as possible. I'm going to walk by people that I don't know, that I don't really know anymore, and I'm going to have to be Jasper, the Jasper that everyone knows, but never loves.
Oh well, at least I'm an up-and-coming Speech star of sorts. Except for the fact that whatever joy I get from competing is dulled by the fact that nobody really cares about anything that I accomplish a week after it happens.
Summer sucks, it needs to be shorter so this doesn't happen. What speech event do you do? I did extemp
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On September 04 2012 08:26 Praetorial wrote: School is starting tomorrow.
It doesn't feel that way, honestly. It feels more like summer vacation is ending. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I'm not mentally prepared for this.
I severed all contact with friends for a month in order to prepare for a test, only to miss the acceptance line by a sliver. At the moment, my school's Speech and Debate team feels farther away from me then ever, since I'm the only freshman in my thread of speech, and all my friends on debate do their own activities now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to put on a smiling face, walk into school, greet my teachers, and try to be as enthusiastic, respectful, and friendly as possible. I'm going to walk by people that I don't know, that I don't really know anymore, and I'm going to have to be Jasper, the Jasper that everyone knows, but never loves.
Oh well, at least I'm an up-and-coming Speech star of sorts. Except for the fact that whatever joy I get from competing is dulled by the fact that nobody really cares about anything that I accomplish a week after it happens.
Summer sucks, it needs to be shorter so this doesn't happen. ^lol When you predetermine strange and negative social absolutes, you give them more truth than they would ever have on their own. Try and be more positive! What event are you in?
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On September 04 2012 08:36 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 04 2012 08:26 Praetorial wrote: School is starting tomorrow.
It doesn't feel that way, honestly. It feels more like summer vacation is ending. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I'm not mentally prepared for this.
I severed all contact with friends for a month in order to prepare for a test, only to miss the acceptance line by a sliver. At the moment, my school's Speech and Debate team feels farther away from me then ever, since I'm the only freshman in my thread of speech, and all my friends on debate do their own activities now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to put on a smiling face, walk into school, greet my teachers, and try to be as enthusiastic, respectful, and friendly as possible. I'm going to walk by people that I don't know, that I don't really know anymore, and I'm going to have to be Jasper, the Jasper that everyone knows, but never loves.
Oh well, at least I'm an up-and-coming Speech star of sorts. Except for the fact that whatever joy I get from competing is dulled by the fact that nobody really cares about anything that I accomplish a week after it happens.
Summer sucks, it needs to be shorter so this doesn't happen. What speech event do you do? I did extemp
I am extemping too!
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On September 04 2012 08:42 Praetorial wrote:Show nested quote +On September 04 2012 08:36 Shady Sands wrote:On September 04 2012 08:26 Praetorial wrote: School is starting tomorrow.
It doesn't feel that way, honestly. It feels more like summer vacation is ending. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I'm not mentally prepared for this.
I severed all contact with friends for a month in order to prepare for a test, only to miss the acceptance line by a sliver. At the moment, my school's Speech and Debate team feels farther away from me then ever, since I'm the only freshman in my thread of speech, and all my friends on debate do their own activities now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to put on a smiling face, walk into school, greet my teachers, and try to be as enthusiastic, respectful, and friendly as possible. I'm going to walk by people that I don't know, that I don't really know anymore, and I'm going to have to be Jasper, the Jasper that everyone knows, but never loves.
Oh well, at least I'm an up-and-coming Speech star of sorts. Except for the fact that whatever joy I get from competing is dulled by the fact that nobody really cares about anything that I accomplish a week after it happens.
Summer sucks, it needs to be shorter so this doesn't happen. What speech event do you do? I did extemp I am extemping too! nice. went to ToC my senior year in Extemp. do you do the diamond or the triangle ^^
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On September 04 2012 08:48 Shady Sands wrote:Show nested quote +On September 04 2012 08:42 Praetorial wrote:On September 04 2012 08:36 Shady Sands wrote:On September 04 2012 08:26 Praetorial wrote: School is starting tomorrow.
It doesn't feel that way, honestly. It feels more like summer vacation is ending. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I'm not mentally prepared for this.
I severed all contact with friends for a month in order to prepare for a test, only to miss the acceptance line by a sliver. At the moment, my school's Speech and Debate team feels farther away from me then ever, since I'm the only freshman in my thread of speech, and all my friends on debate do their own activities now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to put on a smiling face, walk into school, greet my teachers, and try to be as enthusiastic, respectful, and friendly as possible. I'm going to walk by people that I don't know, that I don't really know anymore, and I'm going to have to be Jasper, the Jasper that everyone knows, but never loves.
Oh well, at least I'm an up-and-coming Speech star of sorts. Except for the fact that whatever joy I get from competing is dulled by the fact that nobody really cares about anything that I accomplish a week after it happens.
Summer sucks, it needs to be shorter so this doesn't happen. What speech event do you do? I did extemp I am extemping too! nice. went to ToC my senior year in Extemp. do you do the diamond or the triangle ^^
I assume you're talking about flows, right?
I just copy down all the quotes, since I found that I perform best when moving between quotes as structure.
However, I do the standard 3 points, intro + conclusion structure with the substructure from a Jason Warren lecture.
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On September 04 2012 08:50 Praetorial wrote:Show nested quote +On September 04 2012 08:48 Shady Sands wrote:On September 04 2012 08:42 Praetorial wrote:On September 04 2012 08:36 Shady Sands wrote:On September 04 2012 08:26 Praetorial wrote: School is starting tomorrow.
It doesn't feel that way, honestly. It feels more like summer vacation is ending. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I'm not mentally prepared for this.
I severed all contact with friends for a month in order to prepare for a test, only to miss the acceptance line by a sliver. At the moment, my school's Speech and Debate team feels farther away from me then ever, since I'm the only freshman in my thread of speech, and all my friends on debate do their own activities now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to put on a smiling face, walk into school, greet my teachers, and try to be as enthusiastic, respectful, and friendly as possible. I'm going to walk by people that I don't know, that I don't really know anymore, and I'm going to have to be Jasper, the Jasper that everyone knows, but never loves.
Oh well, at least I'm an up-and-coming Speech star of sorts. Except for the fact that whatever joy I get from competing is dulled by the fact that nobody really cares about anything that I accomplish a week after it happens.
Summer sucks, it needs to be shorter so this doesn't happen. What speech event do you do? I did extemp I am extemping too! nice. went to ToC my senior year in Extemp. do you do the diamond or the triangle ^^ I assume you're talking about flows, right? I just copy down all the quotes, since I found that I perform best when moving between quotes as structure. However, I do the standard 3 points, intro + conclusion structure with the substructure from a Jason Warren lecture. hahaha nice. nah I was talking about whether you moved around in your speech or not
some guys like to take these small steps as they go from one point to another. when drawn out, it looks like a miniature baseball diamond or equilateral triangle on the ground
E: I never did it, but that was because I usually did my break round extemp events after debate, when I was already dead tired
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You sound like me. Maybe it is me who sounds like you. I understand the pains of feeling isolated and alienated. Is it true that you have friends, but they only on a superficial level? It gets better. Build upon these superficial relationships no matter how fickle they may seem. You will gain their trust and respect. For me, Im the guy with the quick quips that make people laugh.
I guess what Im saying is that if you shoot the shit with them, theyll care about you more.
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On September 04 2012 08:58 Azera wrote: You sound like me. Maybe it is me who sounds like you. I understand the pains of feeling isolated and alienated. Is it true that you have friends, but they only on a superficial level? It gets better. Build upon these superficial relationships no matter how fickle they may seem. You will gain their trust and respect. For me, Im the guy with the quick quips that make people laugh.
Thanks, Azera. I really enjoy your blogs, and I can see the comparison.
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Keep up your spirit. I know how it feels. I've narrowly missed two professional exams, like 189/250 instead of 190/250 and 143/200 instead of 150/200. Actually, the first one was 187/250 before litigation. I won the exact 190 in court but the appeals brought it down to 189. Just gotta move on, although it sucks.
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On September 04 2012 09:01 Praetorial wrote:Show nested quote +On September 04 2012 08:58 Azera wrote: You sound like me. Maybe it is me who sounds like you. I understand the pains of feeling isolated and alienated. Is it true that you have friends, but they only on a superficial level? It gets better. Build upon these superficial relationships no matter how fickle they may seem. You will gain their trust and respect. For me, Im the guy with the quick quips that make people laugh. Thanks, Azera. I really enjoy your blogs, and I can see the comparison.
Ill always be here to cheer you on! Feel free to PM me from time to time to chew the fat or talk about anything, really.
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Gl with school, it could be worse, you could be this jasper.
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Aww, keep at it Prae ><
What was that exam though, out of curiosity? AMC or something? :S if it's the AMC you have many more opportunities, for what it's worth. Though you seem like a humanities kinda guy so I dunno.
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Agh, I know what you mean. I'm starting in a school I was only in a semester in before, and I'm not looking forward to it. I was actually planning on dropping out, but now I'm just gonna slide by and do my own education. I really hate high school and especially the kids, I have very much difficulty identifying with everybody.
BUT! It's good to find something you can get a groove into. Like speech and debate, I think I'm going to do that as well, actually. And hey, since we are about the same age I think, if you ever need to talk to anyone about school, I'm right here. We really ought to talk more, I don't know why we haven't.
And hey, I promise things are going to be better. You just need to keep your head up. I mean, fuck all of THEM. Those people you feel like are judging or disregarding you. You can find people that love and care about you and who you will love and care about in turn. It's just... you have to FIND them. Being reclusive won't help, being fake won't help, and being down won't help.
Hope you'll be alright, always nice talking to you when I get the chance.
<3
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On September 04 2012 08:26 Praetorial wrote: School is starting tomorrow.
It doesn't feel that way, honestly. It feels more like summer vacation is ending. I've got this sick feeling in my stomach, because I'm not mentally prepared for this.
I severed all contact with friends for a month in order to prepare for a test, only to miss the acceptance line by a sliver. At the moment, my school's Speech and Debate team feels farther away from me then ever, since I'm the only freshman in my thread of speech, and all my friends on debate do their own activities now.
Tomorrow, I'm going to have to put on a smiling face, walk into school, greet my teachers, and try to be as enthusiastic, respectful, and friendly as possible. I'm going to walk by people that I don't know, that I don't really know anymore, and I'm going to have to be Jasper, the Jasper that everyone knows, but never loves.
Oh well, at least I'm an up-and-coming Speech star of sorts. Except for the fact that whatever joy I get from competing is dulled by the fact that nobody really cares about anything that I accomplish a week after it happens.
Summer sucks, it needs to be shorter so this doesn't happen. Just be yourself man. You'll have a much happier time than making fake friends and having fake fun.
The reason not many people seem to care is because just about everyone in school 1) cares about themselves 2) cares about the latest trend - having an attention span of 2 weeks 3) is jealous about your success and don't want to feel badly about their own lives
Assuming you're in high school you can bet on finding some people that can befriend the real you in University/College. If you are in Uni/College, the trouble is just in finding them - people are off on their own, they won't necessarily come to you or be out in the crowd. In fact, the people you're looking for may well be the ones who are on the side of the crowd, not daring to fake their enthusiasm for some teen sensation of the week like everyone else. That is also assuming you're not an insane, neurotic hermit like myself 
BUT! It's good to find something you can get a groove into. This ^ Just don't make the mistake of getting addicted to world of warcraft (or anything) and the next moment your whole high school life has disappeared >.>
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Think of hamsters and be happy. =) GL in your new school year and you know who to turn to for girl problems!
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