|
What should your mindset be when you can see nothing but terrible outcomes for the situation you're in? And the worst (or best?) part is you don't really care. Is that depression? There's a very strong chance that I'll be left with absolutely nothing in maybe a week's time. At this point I'm considering just walking away from my situation. Like completely walking away, to a point where I'll fit the description of being homeless. There are alternatives but none of them would make me happy. I've been in similar circumstances before and I've gone with the decision to prolong things and I've always somehow fucked everything up and I keep returning to the point I'm at now. So now while I'm in limbo waiting for crazy shit to go down, I don't know what to think about. I can find distractions here and there but in the end nothing will have changed. There is nothing I can do to be proactive... my only alternatives to not being homeless are putting myself in circumstance that I've fallen back on over and over again and each time I've given myself another chance...well you see what I'm saying by now.
When shit can only be awful what should you think about?
I'm extremely disinterested in almost all aspects of modern society. I saw a documentary once about the formation of the universe and everything in it up till life on Earth. It was mindblowing and I felt a sense of awe at how amazing everything is. Then the show cut to commercials for stupid shit that nobody needs, and I started reflecting on how stupid our existence is. We over-complicate our lives with a bunch of crap... we are told we need to get a job so that we can have all these material things that in the end don't bring us happiness, but end up adding more stress to our lives. I would say the only things I think are truly worthwhile are interactions with other people, art (music especially for me,) and satisfying our curiosity about the world around us. But modern society places emphasis on all the stupid shit... so you end up working your ass off your whole life and in return you end up with exactly what you started with.... nothing. I envy the people who don't have the stresses of owning cars, paying fines, choosing between this overpriced disgusting meal or that one, knowing that there's a show called Dancing with the Stars, etc etc etc. Basically, we live in this crazy and fascinating universe but devote a lot of time to things we will forget when the next pointless thing comes around. I started this blog off talking about losing all the things I just said I hated, and that's partly why I don't really care. I just think that human society has gone in a terrible direction by inventing all these things that aren't worth caring about when we should be spending our time on the only things that are real... each other and the world around us.
What do?.
 
|
If you truly didn't care you wouldn't of posted this.
My advice to you would be to stop caring so much.
Also, try to stop over-thinking things and just let life happen to you.
|
|
|
I suggest looking into permaculture. Are you interested in caring for plants and meeting other spiritual people who live off the grid? Consider volunteering at a permaculture farm. Go do some research about this on youtube. Good luck.
|
How much capital do you have? ($$$). If you're interested in the whole 'making a difference' thing , while still being able to maintain a decent living, pm me. 
[^or take a look at what the guy above me said, altho that seems to have less profit and less helping involved.]
|
What no no no, don't get into any hippie liberal communal type living.... those people stink... I mean literally, they are the worst smelling people I've ever met. I'm not even joking now or trying to be rude... I've actually met people proud of their stink.
|
random question: How often do you socialize with the opposite gender?
I felt like this for quite a while, before I found someone I was into.
|
If you haven't already, you should check out the movie "God Bless America". You might get a kick out of it. As for your situation, you should consider the feelings of those closest to you. Talking to them might help you plan a good course of action that brings you happiness while minimizing their concerns.
|
i wont have a car, home, job, valid driver's license, phone, or anything like that. just whatever clothes i'm wearing and $10 i've avoided using.
On August 27 2012 16:53 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
random question: How often do you socialize with the opposite gender?
I felt like this for quite a while, before I found someone I was into.
not for quite some time
|
On August 27 2012 17:36 BearStorm wrote:
If you haven't already, you should check out the movie "God Bless America". You might get a kick out of it. As for your situation, you should consider the feelings of those closest to you. Talking to them might help you plan a good course of action that brings you happiness while minimizing their concerns.
i've seen it. i was really excited to see it and it started off ok, but overall i didn't like it for some reason... not sure why. as for your advice, it's not something i'm willing to consider cuz of personal reasons. i don't want them to be involved anymore even if they're willing to help. sounds really dumb, i know, but that's how it is.
|
On August 27 2012 14:24 Mattson wrote:
If you truly didn't care you wouldn't of posted this.
very true thanks for pointing this out
|
Look forward. The first step to making a better life and better world is to first believe that it is possible. It will never happen if you dont.
if you are being left with nothing try to think of it as a new start. having nothing doesnt mean just losing everything you have. It gives you a clean start as well depending on your situation
|
Well the stuff I talked about is coming up soon. It pretty much boils down to two options... 1 is to pretty much completely fuck myself over, I'm talking about selling whatever I own, cramming some stuff into a backpack and just start walking in a random direction with no real destination. Option 2 = owning up to a bunch of lies, confronting people about their own lies, talking to people that I completely hate and never want to see again, other similar stuff. So the choice is between starting with absolutely nothing except what I'm carrying with me, or dealing with a whole bunch of personal drama/relationships that have already been completely ruined. And on top of that these are relationships that I'm not even remotely interested in salvaging, so even if I do go with option 2 I still see myself being miserable. I'm no stranger to not having a home but this is definitely my most desperate situation thus far and I just don't know what I'm gonna do.
Anyone been in a similar situation? I know I'm being vague but I really don't want to go into the specifics on a public forum.
|
Have you ever considered backpacking around? I would consider it while you still look and smell respectable. When I was travelling in Japan I ran into this guy from Portugal who has been travelling around the world for the last 3 years. He doesn't have any useful education or great money making talents. He just lives super thrifty, and doesn't mind asking people for help. He WOOF's, uses couchsurfing, sleeps in a tent, cleans himself up using disinfectant wipes, hitchhikes. When he was in Japan he told me and he didn't have a job/money, he would knock on peoples houses and ask if he could work for them in exchange for money/food/shelter. Sometimes he would have to knock on like 200 houses before he got something but he did it. I could never do what he's doing, but he loved it. Also, he gave me a similar story to what you've told me. He was working as an insurance agent and eventually got tired of all the material stuff weighing him down, figuratively and literally, and so he sold everything he owned, bought backpacking supplies and walked out his door. I think it takes a special kind of person to be able to accomplish this, but hey he's doing it, so it's possible other people can do it.
I personally would swallow my pride, and go with your Option 2, but if you absolutely feel like you're being forced into this incomparable situation take a look into travelling options.
That guy's name was Ciro Rendas, feel free to look him up on facebook.
|
I dont think your the type to go backpacking..
My advice: Get a job. Earn some money. Then decide what you want to do. You can always buy a ticket then and leave for a different place and start over. You just need some capital to do so... Atleast that would be wisest, unless you want to becom one of those flilthy homeless that add nothing to society but problems.
Ive been depressed for a while, and im the kind of person thats lazy and overthinks everything (overthinking+depressed=hell). Ive been into much (childish) trouble for being lazy and I even dropped out of school. Im from a highly statused chinese family, and failure is close to deathpenalty.
Eventuelly i just gathered my shit together and started using my brains. Just work a lot, earn money (eventhough im not a materialistic person myself) and start doing what you really want. SET YOURSELF GOALS. Find motivation to do so, a girlfriend is a good way to get motivated or atleast find happiness. But if you want all of that: get your shit together, start lookin more healthy, work your ass off. Eventuelly it will pay off... Atleast thats what im hoping for 
Blogging is a nice way to express your emotion, but most ppl wont give a shit. Some ppl write their own diary, others like me enjoy owning ppl at games. Gamer4life :D
|
Alright, it's going down this weekend. Obviously I shouldn't expect anyone to understand my reasons behind what I'm doing, but basically I'm going to start walking in an interesting direction and continue doing so until it occurs to me that I should be doing something else. How long this might take I have no idea. My plan isn't has half-baked and ill prepared as it sounds, but I don't think this is the right place to discuss all the details. I'm only writing this for the people who've known me here on tl for the short time I've been a part of the community.
Sooooo..... gl and hf and maybe I will come back, maybe I wont, I don't have any way of knowing.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
