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United States24752 Posts
Tiger Woods is in need of your help! Please read the OP and then vote in the poll (inside the spoiler at the end of the post).
I have hatched a plan to f*** over Tiger Woods. However, if the majority of TL voters choose to save Tiger, then I will not execute my plan (this is 100% serious; I will do it if there are sufficient votes).
The Plan
I am working at the Barclays (ongoing PGA tournament) on the Shotlink team, meaning I measure the position of each player's golf ball after each shot. I am going to mislabel Tiger Woods' ball. This is not going to affect his actual score, as I am not a walking scorer (and it would be an insane thing to try...). What it will affect is his statistics.
What statistic I can affect will depend on where I am stationed tomorrow. That nice long drive Tiger hit? I will mark it a couple of yards shorter than it was. That sweet long putt he sunk? Well, according to my measurements it wasn't quite as long as you thought. To cap it off I plan to bombard him with the electromagnetic radiation emitted by the invisible laser.
If you do not want me to do this, make sure to vote in the poll below. You have about 10 hours to vote.
+ Show Spoiler +Poll: Save Tiger Woods?No (85) 60% Yes (56) 40% 141 total votes Your vote: Save Tiger Woods? (Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
  
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Belgium8305 Posts
No mercy. This may be the best chance we have to take him down once and for all.
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your Country52797 Posts
I voted yes, who's with me? >:D
edit: I like tiger woods thats why ofc
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But why do we hate tiger woods?
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Blazinghand
United States25557 Posts
This seems like a huge amount of effort... if you want to do it, I won't stop you from it though 
I abstain
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United States5162 Posts
I don't dislike Tiger Woods, but I say go for it just for the lulz.
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oh shit i voted wrong i thought no meant dont do it.
Dont do this.
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truely, this is the perfect crime.
i wonder if he'll call you out on one of them
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Well, have fun Micronesia! You won't be on TV, since no one shows the measuring guy. Unless of course, they discover your propensity to avoid the spotlight, and thus shine the camera on you and broadcast it all over the world. Then everyone will know your identity!
Just relax, and enjoy yourself! Might want to ask for some lessons as well...heh.
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It's not okay to do, but I'm hoping we get to see a news headline something along the lines of "man caught falsely reporting statistics linked to an internet forum"
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On August 25 2012 09:45 Itsmedudeman wrote:
It's not okay to do, but I'm hoping we get to see a news headline something along the lines of "man caught falsely reporting statistics linked to an internet forum"
And then an article on "How e-sports causes people to cheat in real sports"
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Oh right, you're near a golf course and whatnot, read that one blog hahaha!
Come on, it's basically 1) do absolutely nothing at all, 2) mess with someone but it's really a minor deal and nobody gets hurt but it's still fun. :D lol at the invisible laser thing.
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United States24752 Posts
On August 25 2012 09:49 Aerisky wrote:
Oh right, you're near a golf course and whatnot, read that one blog hahaha!
I live on an island with well over 100 golf courses FYI.
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On August 25 2012 09:50 micronesia wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2012 09:49 Aerisky wrote:
Oh right, you're near a golf course and whatnot, read that one blog hahaha! I live on an island with well over 100 golf courses FYI.
....now I just feel stupid. Long Island whee (I think).
You should go through with it. Also take some pictures of the event or something, I'd be interested in seeing them 
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United States24752 Posts
On August 25 2012 09:57 Aerisky wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2012 09:50 micronesia wrote:On August 25 2012 09:49 Aerisky wrote:
Oh right, you're near a golf course and whatnot, read that one blog hahaha! I live on an island with well over 100 golf courses FYI. ....now I just feel stupid. Long Island whee (I think). You should go through with it. Also take some pictures of the event or something, I'd be interested in seeing them
I will go through with it if the poll favors "no."
I am not allowed to bring a camera. I could snap a few pics with my phone, but I wouldn't want to do anything objectionable.
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17038 Posts
What the fuck, this is a terrible thing to do D:
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On August 25 2012 09:59 micronesia wrote:
I am not allowed to bring a camera. I could snap a few pics with my phone, but I wouldn't want to do anything objectionable.
:p
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Can we PLEASE get some reason in this thread? Messing with a friendly round of golf is one thing, but this is fucking PGA. You don't do this on this large a scale.
Don't do it, man.
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dont do it, could lose your job. wouldnt wanna fuck up working for the PGA
edit: kinda childish thing to do anyways...
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I have a very deep suspicion that this is a troll...
but to be on the safe side I voted yes.
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Underwater basket weaving, that is all.
Yes.
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I'd have some very harsh words for you if you presented this idea to me in person.
However I'll just stick with don't do it.
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I'm surprised more people aren't taking this sarcastically. Regardless, I kinda expected better from a Micro blog. Not a very funny joke, tbh.
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Is this a joke? If so, really poorly done. If not, so unethical it's not even funny. Boo.
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Even if he were to do it, I can't help but think you guys are overreacting lol. This is marginally worse than giving the wrong speed of a tennis serve. It doesn't affect the player in any way except the statistics.
I guess I'm missing something huge and unethical though because there is so much evident butthurt over this.
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wtf is this?
I dont think I get it 
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Seems like a pretty immature idea to me, I say don't do it.
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On August 25 2012 10:07 Archas wrote:
Can we PLEASE get some reason in this thread? Messing with a friendly round of golf is one thing, but this is fucking PGA. You don't do this on this large a scale.
Don't do it, man.
This. The poll will end up with "No" though because it sounds incredibly funny and mature to do this! Wait.. =/
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Don't do it. His statistics should be accurate. You have no justification for making anyone's statistics inaccurate. If I just got trolled, so be it, but I have to act on the safe side.
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United States24752 Posts
On August 25 2012 11:35 vOdToasT wrote:
Don't do it. His statistics should be accurate. You have no justification for making anyone's statistics inaccurate.
That's what voting is for. What you say in this thread will not affect the terms of the OP.
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For now, i will think that your trolling (that is, show us some photos after you do it so we'll believe you). And i can't believe more people voted no for this. I am ashamed of our community.
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On August 25 2012 08:54 micronesia wrote:Tiger Woods is in need of your help! Please read the OP and then vote in the poll (inside the spoiler at the end of the post).I have hatched a plan to f*** over Tiger Woods. However, if the majority of TL voters choose to save Tiger, then I will not execute my plan (this is 100% serious; I will do it if there are sufficient votes). The PlanI am working at the Barclays (ongoing PGA tournament) on the Shotlink team, meaning I measure the position of each player's golf ball after each shot. I am going to mislabel Tiger Woods' ball. This is not going to affect his actual score, as I am not a walking scorer (and it would be an insane thing to try...). What it will affects is his statistics. What statistic I can affect will depend on where I am stationed tomorrow. That nice long drive Tiger hit? I will mark it a couple of yards shorter than it was. That sweet long putt he sunk? Well, according to my measurements it wasn't quite as long as you thought. To cap it off I plan to bombard him with the electromagnetic radiation emitted by the invisible laser. If you do not want me to do this, make sure to vote in the poll below. You have about 10 hours to vote. + Show Spoiler +Poll: Save Tiger Woods?No (85) 60% Yes (56) 40% 141 total votes Your vote: Save Tiger Woods? (Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
Seriously?
That's fucking awesome dude! For a golf nut like me it's always interesting to go and look at all the statistics and see what areas that you would/wouldn't expect to be good for a player.
Also, shotlink keeps a ridiculous amount of stats. For instance if you've ever wanted to know the typical apex height of Tiger's tee shots it's 102'8".
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Wow. This is juvenile. Voted to save him.
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On August 25 2012 10:07 Archas wrote:
Can we PLEASE get some reason in this thread? Messing with a friendly round of golf is one thing, but this is fucking PGA. You don't do this on this large a scale.
Don't do it, man.
I agree. Not to mention, I'm sure this will come back around to you somehow. You posted your plan on the internet, dude.
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United States24752 Posts
I've been getting such a laugh out of this thread.
I'm lucky nobody who has actually done Shotlink before is here.
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On August 25 2012 10:07 Archas wrote:
Can we PLEASE get some reason in this thread? Messing with a friendly round of golf is one thing, but this is fucking PGA. You don't do this on this large a scale.
Don't do it, man.
Exactly. What's the point? Even if it's a small matter.
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ugh im bad at reading apparently... voted "no" for don't do it
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The electromagnetic radiation line is too funny.
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Iirc mods can read edits =)
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Tiger Woods = Pure Evil? probably not but is this worth risking your job over?
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Voted to save Tiger. Idk why you came up with this idea. What did Tiger do to you?
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Nobody in the right mind would do this while simultaneously posting about it on the internet. So it won't happen. Regardless, nobody should attempt to belittle the hard work of others, which is why the poll is disappointing.
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Dick move if you do it. Stupid idea even if you won't do it.
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Russian Federation748 Posts
Apparently size matters a lot in golf.
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I love how almost every opinion voiced in the comments is against terrorizing Tiger, yet the poll is continously and clearly in favor of screwing over Tiger.
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28095 Posts
Lol is this is seriously hilarious. Do it because he don't give a fuck about his stats.
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United States24752 Posts
Final Tally: no - 71 (60%), yes - 48 (40%)
Tiger Woods is not saved.
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On August 25 2012 19:48 micronesia wrote:
Final Tally: no - 71 (60%), yes - 48 (40%)
Tiger Woods is not saved.
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.
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Belgium8305 Posts
Excellent. Finally the world will be rid of his evil. I can see it now...
*me walking up to Tiger Woods with stat sheet in hand*
ME: Yo, Tiger, nice average putt length.. for a second tier pro.
TIGER: What? Nonsense! *snatches stat sheet out of my hands and studies it for several seconds*
TIGER: No.. Impossible... *drops to knees, defeated* *commits seppuku with a golf club*
*sun breaks through dark clouds as a million children cheer*
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On August 25 2012 21:16 vGl-CoW wrote:
Excellent. Finally the world will be rid of his evil. I can see it now...
*me walking up to Tiger Woods with stat sheet in hand*
ME: Yo, Tiger, nice average putt length.. for a second tier pro.
TIGER: What? Nonsense! *snatches stat sheet out of my hands and studies it for several seconds*
TIGER: No.. Impossible... *drops to knees, defeated* *commits seppuku with a golf club*
*sun breaks through dark clouds as a million children cheer*
sudoku *
Why do people hate Tiger Woods so much though?
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On August 25 2012 21:23 MasterOfPuppets wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2012 21:16 vGl-CoW wrote:
Excellent. Finally the world will be rid of his evil. I can see it now...
*me walking up to Tiger Woods with stat sheet in hand*
ME: Yo, Tiger, nice average putt length.. for a second tier pro.
TIGER: What? Nonsense! *snatches stat sheet out of my hands and studies it for several seconds*
TIGER: No.. Impossible... *drops to knees, defeated* *commits seppuku with a golf club*
*sun breaks through dark clouds as a million children cheer* sudoku * Why do people hate Tiger Woods so much though?
wat?
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On August 25 2012 21:23 MasterOfPuppets wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2012 21:16 vGl-CoW wrote:
Excellent. Finally the world will be rid of his evil. I can see it now...
*me walking up to Tiger Woods with stat sheet in hand*
ME: Yo, Tiger, nice average putt length.. for a second tier pro.
TIGER: What? Nonsense! *snatches stat sheet out of my hands and studies it for several seconds*
TIGER: No.. Impossible... *drops to knees, defeated* *commits seppuku with a golf club*
*sun breaks through dark clouds as a million children cheer* sudoku * Why do people hate Tiger Woods so much though?
no he got it right lol
sudoku - ![[image loading]](http://sudokublog.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/sudoku508b4a6b7f4c1d65a5a9a3a78e7e48a2a1_1.png)
seppuku- ![[image loading]](http://mondobalordo.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/seppuku.jpg)
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your Country52797 Posts
This is getting silly -_-
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I bet he will pussy out.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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United States24752 Posts
The deed is done. He looked right at me as I shot him with the laser which was kind of funny/unexpected.
On August 25 2012 14:34 rUiNati0n wrote:
This is hilarious.
The replies in this thread are what is hilarious (well, some of them).
So many people thinking "not sure if serious or trolling" so they cover themselves by saying something like "this is really childish, OR a stupid/bad joke!"
I'm surprised people think the fact that I "posted about it on the internet" means it's too risky for me to attempt. Or that I might risk my job. LOL
So many laughs here :p
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If Tiger gets cancer later I will point the cops to this blog and you will GO TO JAIL.
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What did Tiger Woods to deserve this?
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On August 26 2012 00:54 Rice wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2012 21:23 MasterOfPuppets wrote:On August 25 2012 21:16 vGl-CoW wrote:
Excellent. Finally the world will be rid of his evil. I can see it now...
*me walking up to Tiger Woods with stat sheet in hand*
ME: Yo, Tiger, nice average putt length.. for a second tier pro.
TIGER: What? Nonsense! *snatches stat sheet out of my hands and studies it for several seconds*
TIGER: No.. Impossible... *drops to knees, defeated* *commits seppuku with a golf club*
*sun breaks through dark clouds as a million children cheer* sudoku * Why do people hate Tiger Woods so much though? wat?
Super popular to say that to troll on TL I've noticed. He's kidding.
Oh did you actually change the length too? Nice. Yeah I don't understand why that makes you a terrible person.
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United States24752 Posts
On August 26 2012 07:22 Aerisky wrote:Show nested quote +On August 26 2012 00:54 Rice wrote:On August 25 2012 21:23 MasterOfPuppets wrote:On August 25 2012 21:16 vGl-CoW wrote:
Excellent. Finally the world will be rid of his evil. I can see it now...
*me walking up to Tiger Woods with stat sheet in hand*
ME: Yo, Tiger, nice average putt length.. for a second tier pro.
TIGER: What? Nonsense! *snatches stat sheet out of my hands and studies it for several seconds*
TIGER: No.. Impossible... *drops to knees, defeated* *commits seppuku with a golf club*
*sun breaks through dark clouds as a million children cheer* sudoku * Why do people hate Tiger Woods so much though? wat? Super popular to say that to troll on TL I've noticed. He's kidding. Oh did you actually change the length too? Nice. Yeah I don't understand why that makes you a terrible person.
Many readers think it's actually a setback to the player...
The intentional miss-measurements I proposed are actually smaller than the variations in subsequent measurements using the equipment most of the time (and that's only when the equipment is even working lol)
It should be pretty damn obvious from the OP that my 'plan' wasn't actually putting the player at any type of a disadvantage, but many people didn't notice.
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EPT
