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You've Got Spam! - Page 3

Blogs > semioldguy
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 4 5 Next All
rUiNati0n
Profile Joined December 2010
United States1155 Posts
August 25 2012 06:01 GMT
#41
I have somehow ended up with far and away more spam being sent to my main email than my throwaway one. It doesn't really matter to me though because my spam fiter does a pretty good job at catching it all.
eating corn while thinking about eating more corn
Rimstalker
Profile Joined May 2011
Germany734 Posts
August 25 2012 08:56 GMT
#42
my mail provider is actually pretty good at filtering out the rubbish. Even my 10 year old 'I use this one to sign up for everything' email address gets maybe a handful a day, and about 1 per day makes it through the filters.

This here was the most recent one I found:





Greeting to you,

Let my letter not be a surprise to you. My name is Mrs. Melly from Philippines but based here in Burkina Faso as a business woman dealing with gold exportation. I am a sick woman who has decided to donate what I have to charity through you. You may be wondering why I chose you. But someone has to be chosen. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer disease which doctors have confirmed that i have just few days to leave, Now that I’m ending the race like this, without any family members and no child,

I have ($200.000) in one of my bank account here which I instructed the bank to distribute to orphanage Homes here in Burkina Faso and it’s done already, Then after my prayer today my spirit moved me to search on internet and contact any lucky person and hand over the sum of ($750.000) usd in my other account to the person for the help of orphanages homes, motherless baby homes and charity homes in his/her country and for my soul to rest with God.

But you must assure me that you will take 30% of the money and share the rest to the orphanages homes, motherless baby homes, and charity homes in your country, If you can respect this my wish and assure me that you will use the money as I instructed when I have left, kindly get back to me urgently to enable me forward you the bank contact details and my International passport for them to change the funds to your own name and transfer it to you because without presenting my International passport the bank will never listen to you, Get back to me urgently if you can help me to fulfill my wish, Note that according to the bank rules it will only cost you for change of ownership just to change the fund to your own name and transfer it to you that is all, but if you cannot help me please reply so that I can look for another person because if no one apply for my money when am gone it will go to bank treasury and they will not use it to help the needy once to fulfill my wish.

Remain Bless
Mrs.Melly
Here be Dragons
Byzantium
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States423 Posts
August 25 2012 12:05 GMT
#43
Some of these are pretty hilarious, but I wonder, might this blog end up contributing to the results of your other blog project of the Google Searches that lead one to TL in the first place?
MSL 2052
SilSol
Profile Joined April 2012
Sweden2744 Posts
August 25 2012 12:08 GMT
#44
Like a few days ago i had like 50 attempted logins on my accounts all over the internetz i was like wth? :D
http://fragbite.se/user/117868/silsol since 2006 http://www.reddit.com/u/silsol77
HoMM
Profile Joined July 2010
Estonia636 Posts
August 25 2012 12:20 GMT
#45
On August 25 2012 01:46 Falling wrote:
But in the last year or so my hotmail addresses have been completely over-run by spam. To the extent that whenever I sign in, it says my account is being blocked.

Apparently
Show nested quote +
Someone may have used your account to send out a lot of junk messages or done something else that violates the Microsoft services agreement.



No, that's when someone has hacked your account and is using your account to send e-mails to other people.
SC2 Masters Protoss - LoL Diamond adc/support www.twitter.com/hommlol www.youtube.com/homm87
9-BiT
Profile Blog Joined January 2012
United States1089 Posts
August 25 2012 16:33 GMT
#46
The greatest shags of all LOL.
kwark_uk: @father_sc learn to play maybe?
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3292 Posts
August 25 2012 22:32 GMT
#47
Please post the rules of how we should go about breaking said egg. Such as hands or no hands. Btw ill do it when no ones home.
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
semioldguy
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States7488 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-26 01:11:46
August 26 2012 01:10 GMT
#48
I don't think there should be many rules for how to break an egg with your penis, as long as contact from your hardon is what breaks the egg. There should be no tying a sharp, hard object to your cock like it has a mechanical arm and hitting it with the object or using your cockring to crack the egg. No cyborg penises allowed. 100% flesh only.

If you want you can jump up and have your member come crashing down upon the egg, or use your hand and wield your wiener like a sword, or do a hand stand and pull your dick back to release it and flick the egg (you might have to have someone else help you if you busy doing a handstand), or drop the egg in your tightey-whiteys and have the power of arousal and no expansion space crack through the egg. Or go through a whole dozen eggs with a dozen different methods. Get creative, do what you think will work.

I have no idea if breaking an egg with an erection is even going to be hard to do (pun intended)... but there is only one way to find out.
Moderator
ReketSomething
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States6012 Posts
August 26 2012 02:51 GMT
#49
dont forget to wear a condom
Jaedong :3
NrG.Bamboo
Profile Blog Joined December 2006
United States2756 Posts
August 26 2012 05:45 GMT
#50
thread needs more egg.
I need to protect all your life you can enjoy the vibrant life of your battery
nttea
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Sweden4353 Posts
August 26 2012 08:27 GMT
#51
On August 26 2012 10:10 semioldguy wrote:
I don't think there should be many rules for how to break an egg with your penis, as long as contact from your hardon is what breaks the egg. There should be no tying a sharp, hard object to your cock like it has a mechanical arm and hitting it with the object or using your cockring to crack the egg. No cyborg penises allowed. 100% flesh only.

If you want you can jump up and have your member come crashing down upon the egg, or use your hand and wield your wiener like a sword, or do a hand stand and pull your dick back to release it and flick the egg (you might have to have someone else help you if you busy doing a handstand), or drop the egg in your tightey-whiteys and have the power of arousal and no expansion space crack through the egg. Or go through a whole dozen eggs with a dozen different methods. Get creative, do what you think will work.

I have no idea if breaking an egg with an erection is even going to be hard to do (pun intended)... but there is only one way to find out.

you could just put your penis between the egg and your hand and push, obviously that would be cheating as even a non hard penis would break it. I think the fair way seems to be put egg on hard surface, then swing your penis against it if it's big and hard enough it breaks the egg :D
starfries
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada3508 Posts
August 26 2012 11:25 GMT
#52
well since it's supposed to show how hard your penis is, I would try to crack it the way you'd use a hard object to crack an egg, by tapping it...

but it might be kind of difficult to get it really hard while you're wielding an egg. I imagine eggshells would keep popping into your mind and ruining the mood.
DJ – do you like ramen, Savior? Savior – not really. Bisu – I eat it often. Flash – I’m a maniac! | Foxer Fighting!
Eufouria
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United Kingdom4425 Posts
August 26 2012 11:47 GMT
#53
Use your penis to throw the egg up into the air and have it break from the fall. The sledgehammer method has a risk of egg shell shards that I'd prefer to avoid.
JingleHell
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
United States11308 Posts
August 26 2012 13:42 GMT
#54
Or maybe get a friend to help, build a slingshot out of two dicks, and shoot the egg at a wall.

At least semioldguy isn't being a dick-tator about how to do it.
JieXian
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Malaysia4677 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-26 14:17:25
August 26 2012 14:04 GMT
#55
On August 25 2012 02:57 Bibbit wrote:
Haha there's some great ones in there :D That egg breaker!

Also reminds me of this Cracked article. One of the funniest things on the internet imo :D


[image loading]


On August 25 2012 06:01 Chocolate wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 25 2012 05:53 dudeman001 wrote:
The Ultimate Teenage Ninja Turtle Mission Awaits. Choose Your Side Wisely. Win Exclusive...
Trying to pull me with with TMNT... that's a dirty trick.

On August 25 2012 04:50 Kiante wrote:
I'm trying to work out what they've got me pegged as. The seem to be extremely focussed on "love" or "L". Also they get my name wrong alot (assume it's arthur, actually i'm Andrew). the usual penis stuff. I cracked up when i saw the child predator warning. just watched predator last night so my mind instantly went to a child alien hunter as opposed to a pedophile.

As a white guy I've got invitations to both Asian and Black dating sites, so their identification methods are somewhat lacking. At least they know I'm a guy since half of my spam is for penis enlargement.

When looking at my mom's spam email recently, one of the websites in her folder was "Black People Meet." I have a feeling they don't really peg anyone as anything. Just by looking at her email, it's pretty obvious that we have the most German last name in existence.



and what would that be?

On August 25 2012 04:05 Eufouria wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 25 2012 01:46 Falling wrote:
I have a couple throw away hotmail addresses for anything I need to sign up for. I NEVER use my actual gmail account except to email people. But in the last year or so my hotmail addresses have been completely over-run by spam. To the extent that whenever I sign in, it says my account is being blocked.

Apparently
Someone may have used your account to send out a lot of junk messages or done something else that violates the Microsoft services agreement.


Fortunately, I can still use it to sign up for things and register.

I'm convinced, though that I didn't have a truly significant problem with spam with my main register hotmail until I used it to sign up for Facebook. (Although that's a few years back already.)

It would be interesting to create a bunch of throwaway accounts and use each one once on a well known website and then see whether the accounts end up getting any spam emails.


good idea. And label the user name according to the website to keep track of it.

like jiexian_teamliquid@gmail.com for example



:D
Please send me a PM of any song you like that I most probably never heard of! I am looking for people to chat about writing and producing music | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noD-bsOcxuU |
Sephy90
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States1785 Posts
August 26 2012 17:06 GMT
#56
On August 25 2012 03:16 semioldguy wrote:
That Cracked article is hilarious, hadn't seen that before.

This one had me laughing like an idiot.. son of a bitch man I was almost in tears.
[image loading]
"So I turned the lights off at night and practiced by myself"
iTzSnypah
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States1738 Posts
August 26 2012 19:32 GMT
#57
This one made me laugh hard, the one liner set up for it was...lol

"The McDonald's Double Quarter-Pounder. It's so good..."
[image loading]
Team Liquid needs more Terrans.
Randomaccount#77123
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States5003 Posts
August 26 2012 21:47 GMT
#58
--- Nuked ---
Maxd11
Profile Joined July 2011
United States680 Posts
August 26 2012 22:28 GMT
#59
So much laughing from this thread that it hurts.
I looked in the mirror and saw biupilm69t
Steelavocado
Profile Joined May 2010
United States2123 Posts
August 26 2012 23:29 GMT
#60
On August 26 2012 10:10 semioldguy wrote:
I don't think there should be many rules for how to break an egg with your penis, as long as contact from your hardon is what breaks the egg. There should be no tying a sharp, hard object to your cock like it has a mechanical arm and hitting it with the object or using your cockring to crack the egg. No cyborg penises allowed. 100% flesh only.

If you want you can jump up and have your member come crashing down upon the egg, or use your hand and wield your wiener like a sword, or do a hand stand and pull your dick back to release it and flick the egg (you might have to have someone else help you if you busy doing a handstand), or drop the egg in your tightey-whiteys and have the power of arousal and no expansion space crack through the egg. Or go through a whole dozen eggs with a dozen different methods. Get creative, do what you think will work.

I have no idea if breaking an egg with an erection is even going to be hard to do (pun intended)... but there is only one way to find out.

Mother of god... 5/5
MIRACLE IS YOUR TI7 CHAMP
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