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Dear Teamliquid,
I'm usually a pretty peaceful guy. Even when people piss me off a lot, I never do anything, and just walk away. However, there have been, maybe 2 times in my life where somebody has tried to hurt me, and when I tried to defend myself, I've been incompetent. For example, a few years ago, in junior high, a person was holding the door shut when other people were trying to get in. (It was raining outside). I walked up to the guy and told him to stop. He proceeded to punch me in the nose, and when I tried to punch him back, I missed and he kicked my balls. Ouch. The other time, a guy spilled an entire drink all over my shirt. Then he proceeded to start laughing. I told him to apologize, and when he wouldn't, I slapped him. (whoops shouldn't have done that). He proceeded to grab me and throw me to the ground, then started to punch my head until literal KO. Ouch. The third time, I won't go into too much detail, but I got tripped by a 4th degree taekwondo black belt while I was eating a pizza. As you can imagine, my face was covered in pizza sauce, and I got angry and got my ass beat yet again. So you can see when it comes to fighting I'm incompetent. However, haven't got into a fight for many years, and fighting isn't something that happens frequently at all. Well, I hesitate to call these "fights" since they are just me getting completely wrecked. But yeah, I considered getting some martial arts training, but my parents are not conducive to that idea. Carrying weapons is completely illegal and extremely dangerous so I can't do that. But is there any means that I can protect myself better in the future?
fatfail
Oh yeah, I know the "JUST DON'T GET INTO FIGHTS" mentality, which I respect. But sometimes, once in a while, it happens (when you meet retarded people). I don't want to get fucked that badly again. And, I don't expect this shit to happen any more because all of the above happened somehow as a result of this unfortunate thing called PE class. But, still I don't want to be completely helpless and useless.
 
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just gotta spin the martial arts lessons... talk about how they teach you self control and inner peace in kong fu or whatever, tell them that it is so you can exercise and socialize in a fun way with other people your age, tell them that the more time you spend doing this the less time you'll spend in front of the computer, don't tell them it's so you can get better at beating people up. ask them to come along with you the first time and talk to the instructor (he'll come up with something like that too, he's not going to say "yea, when i'm done with your kid he's going to kick asses from he wakes up in the morning until he is incarcerated"). i'm sure you'll be able to convince them.
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Most definitely do martial arts if you can. Its beneficial in a lot of ways.
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In most of those situations you could have pretty easily avoided a fight. Also I have no idea why you thought it would be a good idea to take on a 4th degree black belt. If you want to learn how to fight join an MMA gym and they will teach you. But really, fighting should be a last resort.
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When I go home and tell my dad, "I got my ass beat today.", he says something like "GOTTA BE A MAN AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, YOU SHOULDN'T BE TELLING ME THIS." But how do I stand up for myself? wtf
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If your are small check the TL / HF thread, and learn proper weight lifting. Getting stronger and bigger will give you confidence and people will not pick up on you.
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I reccommend krav maga for practical purposes and any martial art for recreational purposes.
Whatever you choose, your fitness is still the most basic thing. So don't expect to learn a few techniques and be safe against everything. Taller and regularly exercising people mostly have an edge in fights when it comes to strength.
The best defense is still to try and not get into such situations, but it isn't always as easy as it sounds.
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Try to avoid the fights better and do some martial arts, to be prepared if you really have no choice but to fight. (The fight with the drink spilling guy was just stupid from you)
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Curious, but what happened to the people who beat you up? Most of the time you just take the beating and then laugh as the person gets suspended/arrested. Unless he's going to a Cobra Kai dojang, you probably could have gotten your blackbelt into some trouble as well.
I'm dubious about the effectiveness of martial arts training for self-defense. Sure, an expert at a martial art is probably going to own a regular joe, but is it immediately going to help you? As you found out the hard way, most street fights are over very quickly and usually are determined by who is going balls to the wall.
It does sound like you might be a pipsqueak, though, so maybe you should lift/get more athletic. Plus, you'll make some big friends.
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I'm sorry to reiterate a point you yourself have already made, but if you can't learn how to handle yourself in fights, you really should try not to instantiate them. Even a lot of forms of self defense will focus on getting out of the situation, not walking up to someone and slapping them.
If you do ever find yourself in a situation where you have no other choice ("I was pissed off" does not count), consider that the human body is held together by a lot of weak points. Eyes, throat, crotch (you know about that one though right?), kneecaps, shins.. these are what you want to go for instead of trading slaps and wild punches. In such a situation, attitude trumps form, you're going to have to want to hurt your opponent, but you have to be aware of a) what that entails (there's a good chance of lasting consequences, if you're honestly in danger it's better to meditate in jail than to lie in a grave but you need to choose if you are) and b) what your next move is (and again, the great majority of the time this will be getting away).
You may want to read some books on fighting philosophy. Not so much to learn how to fight, but to get a feel for the attitude you'll need when push really comes to shove and maybe more importantly to develop some awareness of what's going on around you. A good fighter not only picks his battles but is aware of how to avoid getting into unfavorable ones as well.
Lastly, don't carry weapons you don't know how to use, because someone who does will turn them on you (and you'll be the one who'll have upped the ante to get to that point).
So again, strive for the awareness and attitude if you can't learn the technique, but above all try to learn some control.
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Couldn't you take the other route, get a pic of them, ID them, license plate, store camera, ANYTHING.... and then bring it to the police to accuse them of assault and battery or whatever?
You need to mention what your circumstances are too so we get a better picture of how serious it is when you get into fights. If you're still in high school then... well tough luck lol. But in the adult world people don't just get up and beat the crap out of each other. Even idiots who do start a brawl almost always get punished if the victim REALLY wants them to be punished.
Then again if you're the one being provoked into a fight, its you're own damn fault and you better be prepared next time to fight. At least make sure you're fit as you possibly can be, because most of the time you're not going to but heads with a trained fighter, being fit will help a lot.
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On July 18 2012 03:07 fatfail wrote:
When I go home and tell my dad, "I got my ass beat today.", he says something like "GOTTA BE A MAN AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, YOU SHOULDN'T BE TELLING ME THIS." But how do I stand up for myself? wtf
tell your dad to be a man and teach his son how to fight ffs...
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you should learn how to fight for health benefits, not to learn how to defend yourself (for your case at least)
physical aggression should be a last option, not an immediate response to any disrespect towards you o_O
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poor guy, i can just imagine that pizza situation in my head and I cant help but laugh... sorry dude.
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I second what others have said about prevention and not escalating the problem to physical confrontation, while still getting the person back in a non-violent way in order to make it clear that you aren't just there to be messed with.
I'm also aware that situations arise that need a physical response. Getting your body in shape is the best way to prepare for such a situation. Whether though martial arts, strength training or sports, it can't hurt to get yourself in better physical shape.
I was in a similar situation to you when I was much younger and football is what helped me transform my body. I went from being a fat, out of shape guy to being in good shape, much lighter and stronger. At that point, it became less of an issue because I was too imposing in appearance for people to try to start anything.
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Squat, deadlift, Brazilian jujitsu since most fights end up on the ground, break limbs off sockets
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shouldnt have punched ANYONE. ever. Im almost 20 now and i never have used physical aggression towards anyone, not even a little slap. A guy once punched me so hard that i fell and nearly broke my wrist while trying not to smash my head. you know what? i wasnt even mad. My grandpa once told me : violence begets violence, forgiving is harder than a punch or pain. retaliation is not the answer.
+ Show Spoiler +For those who care, my grandpa was imprisoned in the Dachau KZ by Nazis during WWII and somehow he survived. He was neither angry nor felt hatred towards the germans who tortured him and made him do things he had nightmares even 50 years later on. He told me tha life is too beatiful and too precious to waste it on feelings like hatred or anger.
I dont provoke anyone nor am i stupid enough to behave inappropriate towards anyone (yes, im referring to situations where you simply provoke people to punch you). I know being nice to everyone is harder than to just punch an asshole in the face because he deserved it.
If someone annoys you or even gets physical, just dont react or walk away. I know it sounds harder than to just fight, but people will think better of you than of the one who started. Trust me.
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On July 18 2012 04:35 matiK23 wrote:
Squat, deadlift, Brazilian jujitsu since most fights end up on the ground, break limbs off sockets
Just hope he doesn't have any friends around to punt your face.
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On July 18 2012 04:50 C0ntrast wrote:shouldnt have punched ANYONE. ever. Im almost 20 now and i never have used physical aggression towards anyone, not even a little slap. A guy once punched me so hard that i fell and nearly broke my wrist while trying not to smash my head. you know what? i wasnt even mad. My grandpa once told me : violence begets violence, forgiving is harder than a punch or pain. retaliation is not the answer. + Show Spoiler +For those who care, my grandpa was imprisoned in the Dachau KZ by Nazis during WWII and somehow he survived. He was neither angry nor felt hatred towards the germans who tortured him and made him do things he had nightmares even 50 years later on. He told me tha life is too beatiful and too precious to waste it on feelings like hatred or anger. I dont provoke anyone nor am i stupid enough to behave inappropriate towards anyone (yes, im referring to situations where you simply provoke people to punch you). I know being nice to everyone is harder than to just punch an asshole in the face because he deserved it. If someone annoys you or even gets physical, just dont react or walk away. I know it sounds harder than to just fight, but people will think better of you than of the one who started. Trust me.
In my experience, it just isn't realistic at junior high ages. Kids are brutal! They see that you don't retaliate and continue to go after you.
As an adult, I'm completely with you, but at that age it just doesn't seem realistic. Maybe your junior high was different from mine.
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+ Show Spoiler +On July 18 2012 04:59 TrippSC2 wrote:Show nested quote +On July 18 2012 04:50 C0ntrast wrote:shouldnt have punched ANYONE. ever. Im almost 20 now and i never have used physical aggression towards anyone, not even a little slap. A guy once punched me so hard that i fell and nearly broke my wrist while trying not to smash my head. you know what? i wasnt even mad. My grandpa once told me : violence begets violence, forgiving is harder than a punch or pain. retaliation is not the answer. + Show Spoiler +For those who care, my grandpa was imprisoned in the Dachau KZ by Nazis during WWII and somehow he survived. He was neither angry nor felt hatred towards the germans who tortured him and made him do things he had nightmares even 50 years later on. He told me tha life is too beatiful and too precious to waste it on feelings like hatred or anger. I dont provoke anyone nor am i stupid enough to behave inappropriate towards anyone (yes, im referring to situations where you simply provoke people to punch you). I know being nice to everyone is harder than to just punch an asshole in the face because he deserved it. If someone annoys you or even gets physical, just dont react or walk away. I know it sounds harder than to just fight, but people will think better of you than of the one who started. Trust me. In my experience, it just isn't realistic at junior high ages. Kids are brutal! They see that you don't retaliate and continue to go after you. As an adult, I'm completely with you, but at that age it just doesn't seem realistic. Maybe your junior high was different from mine.
Well i went to school in germany and im living here since 16 years. maybe thats a difference. i heard that in USA the highschool or whatever it its you go to if you are 15/16 is pretty though.
Edit : also go around like you just dont care and maybe think of this : people cant hear what you are thinking of him, but they are hearing and seeing what he is doing to you, so he got a hell lot worse image in "school society" than you
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If you can convince your parents to let you take martial arts lessons i'd reccomend MuayThai/Thai boxing if you decide to take MuayThai shoot me a PM I might be able to reccomend a gym in your area.
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On July 18 2012 04:51 Jerubaal wrote:Show nested quote +On July 18 2012 04:35 matiK23 wrote:
Squat, deadlift, Brazilian jujitsu since most fights end up on the ground, break limbs off sockets Just hope he doesn't have any friends around to punt your face.
Well I hope anyone is smart enough to know you don't combat when you're outnumbered. Keeping distance and running away is always your first option.
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Kind of mixed feelings about your topic but here goes:
I think martial arts would def. be a good idea. Not so you can beat the crap out of the other guy but cause it could probaly help you alot. Exercise makes you happy (happy hormones in your head), better body which will make you feel alot better about yourself. Your name seems to suggest you could use it.
Also, and im just guessing here, you might not be very intimdating atm. If you go to the gym or martial arts, you'll slowly become stronger. People are less likely to mess with you then, which could have prevented a couple of your fights.
Normally people add in some paragraph now about avoiding fights at all costs but im just gonna assume ur a decent enough guy.
Edit: forget the dad remark of yours: Hes being an asshole if thats trully what he will say. Just ignore him, hes making no sense. Blackbelt > normal person
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learn how to throw a punch. if you can't find somebody to teach you for free, then maybe take a couple of boxing lessons. hit a punching bag a couple times at the gym. you don't need to be bruce lee to win a fight.
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On July 18 2012 07:09 JimSocks wrote:
learn how to throw a punch. if you can't find somebody to teach you for free, then maybe take a couple of boxing lessons. hit a punching bag a couple times at the gym. you don't need to be bruce lee to win a fight.
this guy's right. Boxing is one of the most intense, fulfilling activities you can do. If some dipshit really wants to start something, and you've have even a tiny experience in boxing, one solid, unexpected hit won't injure him, but it will shut him right up. And it will feel REALLY good.
Source: Experience
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Your username says it all. Get username changed to averageawesome or skillfulskinny or whimiscalwin and then BAM you start owning guys.
L2KickBalls. You fight to win, not to appease your opponent.
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You slapped him?!
Come on who the hell slaps someone
On topic: Do martial arts, or just do a lot of sports and get more buffed, that alone can get most aggressors away from you. Also learn how to use words to your advantage, being particularly hurtful can make aggressors not want to punch you, it just has to be really smart words.
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I'm a firm believer in using the gifts you were genetically given. If you are a smaller guy, or not a very good fighter...find a way to use one of your other strengths to either completely circumvent fighting altogether or develop some sort of gadget that will make fighting much more difficult or impossible for your opponent.
It is incredibly easy to not surround yourself with people that cause fights, and in the world when you aren't forced to be around them in school, more respect is paid to your fellow man. If you find yourself getting into fights regularly, even once every few months, maybe you are the problem.
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Fighting isn't something that should factor into your life or the decisions you make.
Just forget about it.
No matter how tough you try to make yourself there will always be somebody that can beat the crap out of you, so what is your aim? Move yourself slightly higher up the chain of asskicking?
Sure it's better to be higher than lower, but it's a never ending process that honestly merits little attention.
Just focus on being happy and healthy.
Edit: and don't get into any more fights
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Yeah, I think you guys made a lot of good points here. It clearly isn't a very good idea to instigate fighting because of the repercussions. I will probably try to get a bit stronger and more athletic; hopefully these ridiculous people will bug me less. But in reference to the ass-kicking chain mentioned above, yeah I want to be a bit higher. Not that I will be engaging in fighting once I move up this chain, but people probably won't try to pick a fight as much? But perhaps this is all inconsequential because in the real world (out of high school) people don't get into fights unless they get drunk at a bar or something, as far as I understand.
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I'm a strong proponent of avoiding a fight at any case. A few months ago some asshole came up to me in the disco, deliberately spilled his beer over me and proceeded to call me names for absolutely no reason (I haven't even seen him before he did that). I just stood up preparing myself in case he gets physical and let him continue with his stupidity. I was fairly certain that if I wanted I could have knocked him out in an instant. My large physique and the beers I had drunk gave me a lot of (probably false) confidence. However, I had nothing to gain from a fight, so I just endured his crap and a minute or so later he left because the bouncers were coming. There have been a bunch of other occasions where I've been threatened and/or offended excessively, but not even once did I see a reason to get physical. You should learn to endure stupid shit like that unless there is absolutely no other way but to fight. If you start a fight, there is nothing to gain and a lot to lose (even you win the fight [injuries, revenge, criminal prosecution, etc.]).
To avoid being picked on and to somewhat enhance your chances in an eventual fight you should probably start working out. I guess martial arts could be helpful, too, but you should know that they don't offer any guarantee that you could defend yourself. From what I've seen whoever has the least inhibitions and goes completely mental on his opponent wins...
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On July 18 2012 10:39 fatfail wrote:
Yeah, I think you guys made a lot of good points here. It clearly isn't a very good idea to instigate fighting because of the repercussions. I will probably try to get a bit stronger and more athletic; hopefully these ridiculous people will bug me less. But in reference to the ass-kicking chain mentioned above, yeah I want to be a bit higher. Not that I will be engaging in fighting once I move up this chain, but people probably won't try to pick a fight as much? But perhaps this is all inconsequential because in the real world (out of high school) people don't get into fights unless they get drunk at a bar or something, as far as I understand.
No, it will just be stronger and bigger people who are picking the fights with you. That is the point... as you move off the radar of some of the weaker people some you move into the range of the stronger people. The chain is infinite in length...
There is no end to this cycle. The solution is to avoid fighting altogether or be prepared to fight someone who is bigger and stronger than you are, in which case physical condition, mental state and fighting skill will be required to "win" the fight.
This is why people recommend martial arts, not only because it is extremely good for body and mind, but because it allows you to be a superior combatant against somebody who is bigger and stronger than you are. You will still have no chance against someone bigger and stronger who has the same or greater skill in the martial arts however 
The solution against short term bullying or feeling like you are a target (if that is the case) is just to get bigger... this requires food + time + exercise. You will be healthier, more attractive and less likely to be "picked on". Aside from basically just letting time pass while living a healthy lifestyle there isn't too much I would recommend doing in your situation.
Yes in the real world fights are very uncommon, and most often you will be sucker punched or have more than one person attack you etc... there's really not much you can do unless you intend to become a serious ass kicking machine which is a good thing but nothing you should really worry about or focus on due to the rarity and unimportance of physical contest outwith a sports environment.
Edit: Yes and to respond to the post above, it's a lot to do with your mentality. The person who wins the fight is the person who is willing to take them to the ground and beat them until they are unconcious, which is a very dangerous thing to do. You are not going to be trading punches, you will be doing anything and everything to take the other guy out. This may involve people picking up weapons to hit you in the face/head with, choking you until you pass out/die or getting you onto the ground and stomping on your head until you stop twitching. Seriously just avoid unregulated combat it's a bad idea lol...
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I like that quote from some martial arts movie where the old guy says he didn't learn martial arts so he could use it, but he rather so he never had to fight
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Tugger's whistle's blowin',
means we must be goin'.
No more Russell Crowin' for you.
NOW don't you start to whine!
We'll see you again next time!
Because there's plenty more fightin' left to do!
MAKIN' MOVIES, MAKIN' SONGS, AND FIGHTN' ROUND THE WORLD.
EDIT: Crikey!
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I reccommend krav maga for practical purposes and any martial art for recreational purposes.
Don't listen to this man. Not even a little bit. Krav Maga is a highly agressive martial art more suited to life or death situations than use in the street or in situations like you described.
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You got beat up by a 3rd degree taekwondo black belt? All he knows how to do is squash roaches and break pre-cracked woodboards. You must fight like a girl.
Jk jk.
Anyways, I have a feeling that the way you carry yourself tells bullies and other morons to it's ok to pick on you. Regretably, I used to be somewhat of a bully bakinthaday, and I can tell you... it's very easy to spot.
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Aside from the morality of beating others up, defending yourself etc, boxing is the best choice in my opinion.
Anecdotal evidence: There was a guy at my school who wasn't a bully, but would jump at the opportunity to fight, he just really enjoyed fighting, so while he wasn't the aggressor, he wouldn't back down from anything. This guy was also an amateur boxer, he had been boxing since he was six or seven and was pretty skilled, he regularly had amateur matches and was ranked. Point is, he would wreck everyone he fought because most people simply can't throw a punch and leave themselves wide open for any kind of counterattack. Power in punching is mostly about technique and finding openings, not about being really strong.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Zw5uI.jpg)
