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Dear Teamliquid,
I'm usually a pretty peaceful guy. Even when people piss me off a lot, I never do anything, and just walk away. However, there have been, maybe 2 times in my life where somebody has tried to hurt me, and when I tried to defend myself, I've been incompetent. For example, a few years ago, in junior high, a person was holding the door shut when other people were trying to get in. (It was raining outside). I walked up to the guy and told him to stop. He proceeded to punch me in the nose, and when I tried to punch him back, I missed and he kicked my balls. Ouch. The other time, a guy spilled an entire drink all over my shirt. Then he proceeded to start laughing. I told him to apologize, and when he wouldn't, I slapped him. (whoops shouldn't have done that). He proceeded to grab me and throw me to the ground, then started to punch my head until literal KO. Ouch. The third time, I won't go into too much detail, but I got tripped by a 4th degree taekwondo black belt while I was eating a pizza. As you can imagine, my face was covered in pizza sauce, and I got angry and got my ass beat yet again. So you can see when it comes to fighting I'm incompetent. However, haven't got into a fight for many years, and fighting isn't something that happens frequently at all. Well, I hesitate to call these "fights" since they are just me getting completely wrecked. But yeah, I considered getting some martial arts training, but my parents are not conducive to that idea. Carrying weapons is completely illegal and extremely dangerous so I can't do that. But is there any means that I can protect myself better in the future?
fatfail
Oh yeah, I know the "JUST DON'T GET INTO FIGHTS" mentality, which I respect. But sometimes, once in a while, it happens (when you meet retarded people). I don't want to get fucked that badly again. And, I don't expect this shit to happen any more because all of the above happened somehow as a result of this unfortunate thing called PE class. But, still I don't want to be completely helpless and useless.
 
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just gotta spin the martial arts lessons... talk about how they teach you self control and inner peace in kong fu or whatever, tell them that it is so you can exercise and socialize in a fun way with other people your age, tell them that the more time you spend doing this the less time you'll spend in front of the computer, don't tell them it's so you can get better at beating people up. ask them to come along with you the first time and talk to the instructor (he'll come up with something like that too, he's not going to say "yea, when i'm done with your kid he's going to kick asses from he wakes up in the morning until he is incarcerated"). i'm sure you'll be able to convince them.
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Most definitely do martial arts if you can. Its beneficial in a lot of ways.
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In most of those situations you could have pretty easily avoided a fight. Also I have no idea why you thought it would be a good idea to take on a 4th degree black belt. If you want to learn how to fight join an MMA gym and they will teach you. But really, fighting should be a last resort.
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When I go home and tell my dad, "I got my ass beat today.", he says something like "GOTTA BE A MAN AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, YOU SHOULDN'T BE TELLING ME THIS." But how do I stand up for myself? wtf
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If your are small check the TL / HF thread, and learn proper weight lifting. Getting stronger and bigger will give you confidence and people will not pick up on you.
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I reccommend krav maga for practical purposes and any martial art for recreational purposes.
Whatever you choose, your fitness is still the most basic thing. So don't expect to learn a few techniques and be safe against everything. Taller and regularly exercising people mostly have an edge in fights when it comes to strength.
The best defense is still to try and not get into such situations, but it isn't always as easy as it sounds.
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Try to avoid the fights better and do some martial arts, to be prepared if you really have no choice but to fight. (The fight with the drink spilling guy was just stupid from you)
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Curious, but what happened to the people who beat you up? Most of the time you just take the beating and then laugh as the person gets suspended/arrested. Unless he's going to a Cobra Kai dojang, you probably could have gotten your blackbelt into some trouble as well.
I'm dubious about the effectiveness of martial arts training for self-defense. Sure, an expert at a martial art is probably going to own a regular joe, but is it immediately going to help you? As you found out the hard way, most street fights are over very quickly and usually are determined by who is going balls to the wall.
It does sound like you might be a pipsqueak, though, so maybe you should lift/get more athletic. Plus, you'll make some big friends.
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I'm sorry to reiterate a point you yourself have already made, but if you can't learn how to handle yourself in fights, you really should try not to instantiate them. Even a lot of forms of self defense will focus on getting out of the situation, not walking up to someone and slapping them.
If you do ever find yourself in a situation where you have no other choice ("I was pissed off" does not count), consider that the human body is held together by a lot of weak points. Eyes, throat, crotch (you know about that one though right?), kneecaps, shins.. these are what you want to go for instead of trading slaps and wild punches. In such a situation, attitude trumps form, you're going to have to want to hurt your opponent, but you have to be aware of a) what that entails (there's a good chance of lasting consequences, if you're honestly in danger it's better to meditate in jail than to lie in a grave but you need to choose if you are) and b) what your next move is (and again, the great majority of the time this will be getting away).
You may want to read some books on fighting philosophy. Not so much to learn how to fight, but to get a feel for the attitude you'll need when push really comes to shove and maybe more importantly to develop some awareness of what's going on around you. A good fighter not only picks his battles but is aware of how to avoid getting into unfavorable ones as well.
Lastly, don't carry weapons you don't know how to use, because someone who does will turn them on you (and you'll be the one who'll have upped the ante to get to that point).
So again, strive for the awareness and attitude if you can't learn the technique, but above all try to learn some control.
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Couldn't you take the other route, get a pic of them, ID them, license plate, store camera, ANYTHING.... and then bring it to the police to accuse them of assault and battery or whatever?
You need to mention what your circumstances are too so we get a better picture of how serious it is when you get into fights. If you're still in high school then... well tough luck lol. But in the adult world people don't just get up and beat the crap out of each other. Even idiots who do start a brawl almost always get punished if the victim REALLY wants them to be punished.
Then again if you're the one being provoked into a fight, its you're own damn fault and you better be prepared next time to fight. At least make sure you're fit as you possibly can be, because most of the time you're not going to but heads with a trained fighter, being fit will help a lot.
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On July 18 2012 03:07 fatfail wrote:
When I go home and tell my dad, "I got my ass beat today.", he says something like "GOTTA BE A MAN AND STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, YOU SHOULDN'T BE TELLING ME THIS." But how do I stand up for myself? wtf
tell your dad to be a man and teach his son how to fight ffs...
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you should learn how to fight for health benefits, not to learn how to defend yourself (for your case at least)
physical aggression should be a last option, not an immediate response to any disrespect towards you o_O
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poor guy, i can just imagine that pizza situation in my head and I cant help but laugh... sorry dude.
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I second what others have said about prevention and not escalating the problem to physical confrontation, while still getting the person back in a non-violent way in order to make it clear that you aren't just there to be messed with.
I'm also aware that situations arise that need a physical response. Getting your body in shape is the best way to prepare for such a situation. Whether though martial arts, strength training or sports, it can't hurt to get yourself in better physical shape.
I was in a similar situation to you when I was much younger and football is what helped me transform my body. I went from being a fat, out of shape guy to being in good shape, much lighter and stronger. At that point, it became less of an issue because I was too imposing in appearance for people to try to start anything.
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Squat, deadlift, Brazilian jujitsu since most fights end up on the ground, break limbs off sockets
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shouldnt have punched ANYONE. ever. Im almost 20 now and i never have used physical aggression towards anyone, not even a little slap. A guy once punched me so hard that i fell and nearly broke my wrist while trying not to smash my head. you know what? i wasnt even mad. My grandpa once told me : violence begets violence, forgiving is harder than a punch or pain. retaliation is not the answer.
+ Show Spoiler +For those who care, my grandpa was imprisoned in the Dachau KZ by Nazis during WWII and somehow he survived. He was neither angry nor felt hatred towards the germans who tortured him and made him do things he had nightmares even 50 years later on. He told me tha life is too beatiful and too precious to waste it on feelings like hatred or anger.
I dont provoke anyone nor am i stupid enough to behave inappropriate towards anyone (yes, im referring to situations where you simply provoke people to punch you). I know being nice to everyone is harder than to just punch an asshole in the face because he deserved it.
If someone annoys you or even gets physical, just dont react or walk away. I know it sounds harder than to just fight, but people will think better of you than of the one who started. Trust me.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Zw5uI.jpg)
