|
This is just a story I feel like sharing, since it is so recent and on my mind.. I don't care what you guys all think of me but please be respectful.
So.. two years ago I was in a class at high school and there was this girl there, for anonymity sake lets call her Leah. Leah stood out to me among the other girls in the class. I never really talked to Leah all that much because I was rather shy and nervous - anyone else I could talk to no problem at all. It was just that girl I didn't want to embarrass myself or offend her. Eventually her and I started talking here and there, texting her every so often. That year went by and I found myself really liking her despite not really ever hanging out with her. The way she looked, would act, etc. She was basically the closest thing to an angel I've ever seen. She was the shy type and often enough dated some people who I had respect for and I didn't feel like I should intervene.
Leah and I started talking and texting, I have the biggest "crush" on her.. She didn't/doesn't care how I feel or anything but whatever, I don't feel like giving up.. Still talking to her blabla
Eventually prom came around and I figured I wouldn't even go, I asked Leahs friends who Leah was going with just out of curiosity and they said she didn't have a date and that I should ask her.. I had no intentions of asking her but word go back to her from her friends that I was going to ask her, and I got a text sitting in class one day that read "Grow some balls, hurry up and ask me" I figured I would do as I was told and asked her. She said yes and stuff, so we we're going to prom as friends or so I thought. For prom I wanted to take my neighbors car ( Pretty nice corvette ) but she said she wanted to go on a float with her friends.. It was a pretty sad excuse for a float but I toughed it out because I care so much about her and wanted her to be happy and be with her friends.. Anyways, she came to my house, i went to hers for photos, everything was great and then we went to the park to get pictures with HER friends, who I dont know well enough at all to really even talk to, it was mostly just small talk and rather boring. Prom went pretty smoothly, her family is extremely kind. After prom she had a party, invited all of her friends and their dates - I didn't get invited. I was kind of upset but understood, She knew her friends and their dates way longer then we've known each other so I shrugged it off. Her mom emailed me some pictures of prom that she took and I did the same.
Yesterday I asked if she wanted to go to the movies today since it was all rainy, all my friends are away and such and she said "maybe idk" so I figured that was a no, but she said she would let me know today. Today rolls around and I texted and asked her and she said no... Pretty heart breaking to say the least. I just go with it and say its fine and stuff and ask her why.. Well apparently I'm socially awkward, I try and defend myself and then she says I'm annoying. I kept telling her she wouldn't give me a chance and she still wouldn't budge. Man there is too much to write, all in text messages.. I keep trying to be nice and hold my self up and asking her to hangout to know each other more since she is moving away at the end of summer and I probably won't see her much after that. She says that she doesn't want to get to know me and that she doesn't want to be friends, etc.. The eyes started to water..
I don't know what to do anymore, I have never been this sad before and feel like I'll never have a chance with her.. despite us being only 18~.. I thought everything was great until today.
Sorry this blog got a little sloppy towards the end but the hands are shaking and the eyes are watering.
TLDR Crush of my life and I went to prom together, everything was fine until today, she lashed out at me and said we wont be friends despite me trying to calm her down and stuff.. this was all over text messages..
Edit: If this gets enough responses in the future i'll write another one about this for the months to follow..
Edit 2: Adding a little bit more to make the story flow a little better.
UPDATE
On July 04 2012 07:44 NuKedUFirst wrote:
Despite what her friends said on how I "deserved" a chance with her.. She is now in a relationship with some retard and all of her friends basically lied to me. Feels good. My facebook profile was a pic of me and her, soon as I seen her relationship status change, I changed my picture to blank..
 
|
Norway28677 Posts
you'll get over it. you tried too hard and she didn't like you enough for that to be a good thing. happens to lots of people, because many people ARE socially awkward (especially with girls) when they're teenagers. normally it's an issue about whether or not you've gotten laid or not.. so try to fix that if you haven't.
serious semi-related advice
if you like a girl (like you wanna fuck her, not like you wanna be her friend. if you just wanna be someones friend you just have to be nice and say kind things to her) and you're not sure about whether she likes you, accidentially spit her in the face while talking to her. (like just a tiny tiny amount, the kind that is very occasionally accidentially spat out even without effort) immediately apologize and laugh/smile.
if she goes like ewww and wipes it off, no damage done. she didn't like you enough anyway. if she laughs, or lets it linger on her cheek, she doesn't object to your bodily fluids and you should make your move. I mean just imagine how you'd react to the prettiest girl in the class doing that to you- you wouldn't mind, maybe you'd even clean yourself with your tongue, at least if it's within range.girls not that different.
|
Happens man. Sounds like you just need to be more confident. In my experience (some very similar to yours), acting reserved and not asserting yourself doesn't generally lead to results.
Better luck next time bud, we've all been there. Chin up and try again with another lady.
|
On June 25 2012 09:47 Liquid`Drone wrote:
you'll get over it. you tried too hard and she didn't like you enough for that to be a good thing. happens to lots of people, because many people ARE socially awkward (especially with girls) when they're teenagers. normally it's an issue about whether or not you've gotten laid or not.. so try to fix that if you haven't.
serious semi-related advice
if you like a girl (like you wanna fuck her, not like you wanna be her friend. if you just wanna be someones friend you just have to be nice and say kind things to her) and you're not sure about whether she likes you, accidentially spit her in the face while talking to her. (like just a tiny tiny amount, the kind that is very occasionally accidentially spat out even without effort) immediately apologize and laugh/smile.
if she goes like ewww and wipes it off, no damage done. she didn't like you enough anyway. if she laughs, or lets it linger on her cheek, she doesn't object to your bodily fluids and you should make your move. I mean just imagine how you'd react to the prettiest girl in the class doing that to you- you wouldn't mind, maybe you'd even clean yourself with your tongue, at least if it's within range.girls not that different.
Simultaneously the worst and best advice I have ever heard.
|
On June 25 2012 09:47 Liquid`Drone wrote:
you'll get over it. you tried too hard and she didn't like you enough for that to be a good thing. happens to lots of people, because many people ARE socially awkward (especially with girls) when they're teenagers. normally it's an issue about whether or not you've gotten laid or not.. so try to fix that if you haven't.
serious semi-related advice
if you like a girl (like you wanna fuck her, not like you wanna be her friend. if you just wanna be someones friend you just have to be nice and say kind things to her) and you're not sure about whether she likes you, accidentially spit her in the face while talking to her. (like just a tiny tiny amount, the kind that is very occasionally accidentially spat out even without effort) immediately apologize and laugh/smile.
if she goes like ewww and wipes it off, no damage done. she didn't like you enough anyway. if she laughs, or lets it linger on her cheek, she doesn't object to your bodily fluids and you should make your move. I mean just imagine how you'd react to the prettiest girl in the class doing that to you- you wouldn't mind, maybe you'd even clean yourself with your tongue, at least if it's within range.girls not that different.
All of her friends are really nice and are wondering why she is like this.. you are probably right about me trying to hard.
I'll see what the rest of the summer brings and hope for the best, I'm having a house party next week and her friend might and try bring her. She's definitely one of a kind .
Thanks for the tip by the way ,hahaha! I'll be sure to give that a shot! 
On June 25 2012 09:51 Risen wrote:
Happens man. Sounds like you just need to be more confident. In my experience (some very similar to yours), acting reserved and not asserting yourself doesn't generally lead to results.
Better luck next time bud, we've all been there. Chin up and try again with another lady.
Yeah, any other girl I talk to is perfectly fine, when it's her, I tense up and spend 5 minutes thinking of things to say before I say it, which as you mentioned isn't the great idea. Gotta be myself
On June 25 2012 09:54 Chef wrote:
Simultaneously the worst and best advice I have ever heard.
At this point, all advice is welcome! hah
|
Norway28677 Posts
On June 25 2012 09:54 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2012 09:47 Liquid`Drone wrote:
you'll get over it. you tried too hard and she didn't like you enough for that to be a good thing. happens to lots of people, because many people ARE socially awkward (especially with girls) when they're teenagers. normally it's an issue about whether or not you've gotten laid or not.. so try to fix that if you haven't.
serious semi-related advice
if you like a girl (like you wanna fuck her, not like you wanna be her friend. if you just wanna be someones friend you just have to be nice and say kind things to her) and you're not sure about whether she likes you, accidentially spit her in the face while talking to her. (like just a tiny tiny amount, the kind that is very occasionally accidentially spat out even without effort) immediately apologize and laugh/smile.
if she goes like ewww and wipes it off, no damage done. she didn't like you enough anyway. if she laughs, or lets it linger on her cheek, she doesn't object to your bodily fluids and you should make your move. I mean just imagine how you'd react to the prettiest girl in the class doing that to you- you wouldn't mind, maybe you'd even clean yourself with your tongue, at least if it's within range.girls not that different. Simultaneously the worst and best advice I have ever heard.
ya I know, the first one is so generic that it can't possibly be helpful. just wanted to add some fluff.
|
Russian Federation396 Posts
as hard a pill as it is to swallow, just as often as romantic interests form for people, romantic interests dont form.
i started dating my girlfriend at 17 and we're still together and im nearing 20 now, so i wont tell you that 'high school' romances are useless because ill say it now she changed my life entirely, have some of my best and my worst moments with this girl
either way, i was interested in persuing a relationship with 3 seperate girls throughout my last year of high school, none of which worked out all for varying reasons, eventually you just realize that if its right you go, and if its not then you let go
in your case, my advice would be that since its such a short time span (where most of the activity takes place) you should man it out for at least another while, be it for a week or two if no progress, or longer if there is,
however, if shes gone at the end of the summer, the best thing may be to just let go
|
TLADT24920 Posts
As mentioned, take it easy and hang in there. If you tried your best and respected her but she didn't do the same, she isn't worth it. Time heals all wounds and tbh with you, this part caught me by surprise: "Grow some balls, hurry up and ask me". I mean, is that normal? It sounds like she didn't have someone to take her and as a result, decided to just choose you to do so.
Sorry if this next part sounds mean, not my intention but based on what you wrote, it feels or sounds like she used you and then once the prom was over, decided that she wanted to reduce communication which is why she didn't want to hang out with you or get to know you as a person. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you but it does go back to the idea of her not caring about your feelings and I'm sorry to say but there isn't much you can do :/ I'm very interested to see what happens next so I do hope you'll post in the near future. In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck!
|
United States10176 Posts
tough it out. it'll get better. same kind of thing happened to me minus the prom stuff. w.e. we get over it. focus on starcraft and just keep fighting.
Always fighting. Never surrender.
|
On June 25 2012 09:47 Liquid`Drone wrote:
you'll get over it. you tried too hard and she didn't like you enough for that to be a good thing. happens to lots of people, because many people ARE socially awkward (especially with girls) when they're teenagers. normally it's an issue about whether or not you've gotten laid or not.. so try to fix that if you haven't.
serious semi-related advice
if you like a girl (like you wanna fuck her, not like you wanna be her friend. if you just wanna be someones friend you just have to be nice and say kind things to her) and you're not sure about whether she likes you, accidentially spit her in the face while talking to her. (like just a tiny tiny amount, the kind that is very occasionally accidentially spat out even without effort) immediately apologize and laugh/smile.
if she goes like ewww and wipes it off, no damage done. she didn't like you enough anyway. if she laughs, or lets it linger on her cheek, she doesn't object to your bodily fluids and you should make your move. I mean just imagine how you'd react to the prettiest girl in the class doing that to you- you wouldn't mind, maybe you'd even clean yourself with your tongue, at least if it's within range.girls not that different.
Also you might wanna try to spill some drinks or water on her/in her lap if you are both sitting down etc to find out how she reacts, people who are attracted to you will be more forgiving, also don't put your eggs in one basket, try to "hit" on multiple girls, note we are talking about the "not yet sure if date or not" stage, just throw yourself out there and try the "waters".
|
+ Show Spoiler +On June 25 2012 10:10 JitnikoVi wrote:
as hard a pill as it is to swallow, just as often as romantic interests form for people, romantic interests dont form.
i started dating my girlfriend at 17 and we're still together and im nearing 20 now, so i wont tell you that 'high school' romances are useless because ill say it now she changed my life entirely, have some of my best and my worst moments with this girl
either way, i was interested in persuing a relationship with 3 seperate girls throughout my last year of high school, none of which worked out all for varying reasons, eventually you just realize that if its right you go, and if its not then you let go
in your case, my advice would be that since its such a short time span (where most of the activity takes place) you should man it out for at least another while, be it for a week or two if no progress, or longer if there is,
however, if shes gone at the end of the summer, the best thing may be to just let go
Yeah, she's not technically "gone" we're both taking a year off school because neither of us know what we want to do, just she's moving an hour away and going to try and get a job, which selfish me hopes fails miserable and she moves back home. Also, she most likely will be home weekend or every coupple of weeks.
Going to wait a week or two and see if she talks to me :/
+ Show Spoiler +On June 25 2012 10:13 BigFan wrote:
As mentioned, take it easy and hang in there. If you tried your best and respected her but she didn't do the same, she isn't worth it. Time heals all wounds and tbh with you, this part caught me by surprise: "Grow some balls, hurry up and ask me". I mean, is that normal? It sounds like she didn't have someone to take her and as a result, decided to just choose you to do so.
Sorry if this next part sounds mean, not my intention but based on what you wrote, it feels or sounds like she used you and then once the prom was over, decided that she wanted to reduce communication which is why she didn't want to hang out with you or get to know you as a person. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you but it does go back to the idea of her not caring about your feelings and I'm sorry to say but there isn't much you can do :/ I'm very interested to see what happens next so I do hope you'll post in the near future. In the meantime, I wish you the best of luck!
The "grow some balls" comment caught me off guard too but I think it was because she thought I was going to ask her in the first place. As for prom today when we were "fighting" or whatever you want to call it i asked if the only reason why she wanted to go to prom with me was because she thought no one else was going to ask her.. she flipped and said she could have went with anyone else and all this stuff.. probably wasn't the best idea on my part but I was in a mood and so was she and it happened.. She was probably right though, she looked like a million dollars.
|
|
|
not inviting you to the party was the biggest tell. Don't sweat it man dating in high school is retarded 90% of the time, unless your each other's highschool sweethearts. From what this girl sounds like you are definitely better off not dating her.
Lots of people on TL give the 'be a man/grow some balls' advice, like all it ever took to get the girl of you dreams was just asking her, like she was waiting for you and she doesn't exist outside of your mind. Well, some real advice is to avoid being so insular about your perception of the world and to stop looking like an awkward dumbass (i know this from experience). When you say 'I'm not shy I can talk to people' you sound like you don't even occupy the same social stratosphere as her. It's not really an accomplishment that you 'can talk to people'. If you think from her perspective, her conception of dating, there is probably a whole lot else going on in her considerations. You obviously can't control who you crush on, but you can control your friends, your image, and even your personality if you do things proactively enough and there are definitely other opportunities out there. You are you're own best wingman, get motivated, hit the gym, do whatever it takes to get yourself confident, and don't freak out if it takes a little time. You won't be disappointed with yourself.
|
the "grow some balls" message just tell us that girl was out of ur league. just relax, be yourself and dont try hard, you will know for next girl cuz with this one its over
|
and just get a girl as shy as you , you will be fine.
|
couple more years brah, all this girl stuff ain't gonna bother you
|
On June 25 2012 11:07 bibilisk wrote:
the "grow some balls" message just tell us that girl was out of ur league. just relax, be yourself and dont try hard, you will know for next girl cuz with this one its over
There is no girl EVER that is out of a guy's league (extremely common assumption guys make). However, it is possible that a guy can be out of a girl's league.
|
On June 25 2012 11:09 bibilisk wrote:
and just get a girl as shy as you , you will be fine.
Its actually her that is more shy then myself I would say. Then again this is personal bias. I'll see how things go in a couple of weeks and go from there.
On June 25 2012 11:12 Elegance wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2012 11:07 bibilisk wrote:
the "grow some balls" message just tell us that girl was out of ur league. just relax, be yourself and dont try hard, you will know for next girl cuz with this one its over There is no girl EVER that is out of a guy's league (extremely common assumption guys make). However, it is possible that a guy can be out of a girl's league.
I personally don't think she is, She is good looking but shes so shy and only really talks to her close close friends and has only dated "hicks" as our school would label them and she definitely didn't sit at the popular bench haha..
Hopefully no one I know IRL finds this blog haha..
I would love to move on but im going to atleast try and put up a fight and see if she comes to my party or whatever.
Thanks everyone for all the comments and advice so far - really lightened my mood from what it was a few hours ago!
|
On June 25 2012 11:20 NuKedUFirst wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2012 11:09 bibilisk wrote:
and just get a girl as shy as you , you will be fine. Its actually her that is more shy then myself I would say. Then again this is personal bias. I'll see how things go in a couple of weeks and go from there. Show nested quote +On June 25 2012 11:12 Elegance wrote:On June 25 2012 11:07 bibilisk wrote:
the "grow some balls" message just tell us that girl was out of ur league. just relax, be yourself and dont try hard, you will know for next girl cuz with this one its over There is no girl EVER that is out of a guy's league (extremely common assumption guys make). However, it is possible that a guy can be out of a girl's league. I personally don't think she is, She is good looking but shes so shy and only really talks to her close close friends and has only dated "hicks" as our school would label them and she definitely didn't sit at the popular bench haha.. Hopefully no one I know IRL finds this blog haha.. I would love to move on but im going to atleast try and put up a fight and see if she comes to my party or whatever. Thanks everyone for all the comments and advice so far - really lightened my mood from what it was a few hours ago!
And where do you think you stand in terms of how valuable you are compared to her.
|
Don't invite her to your party. just have a party and not invite her, invite some of her friends that you enjoyed their company more. if she wants to come, she'll come with one of them when she hears about it, or text you or something. inviting her seems a bit desperate for a teenage girl and she'll likely not come or care.
18 year old girls are pretty bad at relationships. Girls her age tend to only want guys they see as unavailable, at least until they mature more.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
