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firehand101
Australia3152 Posts
Long story short, there is a girl I like. But I just dont know........ aargg I always hear people say 'just ask her out' bla bla but what if it doesnt work? We go to the same school so it will be forever awkward ,,, hmmmmm she is so pretty, and smart, and just........ hmmmm I think it is more complicated then just asking someone out. You have to earn their respect, through hard work. Yeh maybe........maybe i will go down that route    | ||
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Anacletus
United States733 Posts
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firehand101
Australia3152 Posts
On June 21 2012 21:16 Anacletus wrote: Just go talk to her and get to know her. What's the worst that could happen? saying no, which i guess doesnt sound too bad. I dont know.......maybe she doesnt like me and it would be awkward for her....i think i will have to earn her respect first | ||
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firehand101
Australia3152 Posts
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FraCuS
United States1072 Posts
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iTzSnypah
United States1738 Posts
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Hoosegow
United States139 Posts
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firehand101
Australia3152 Posts
On June 21 2012 21:21 iTzSnypah wrote: Erm by the time you earn her respect you'll be forever lost in the friendzone. My advice? Forget this girl, she is obviously out of your league. yeh this is the advice i was afraid of, but realised it is the most likely | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + Take what I say with a grain of salt. Never had a girlfriend before. | ||
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Jinsho
United Kingdom3101 Posts
"Forever awkward", no it won't. You'll get over her very quickly if she doesn't say yes. | ||
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Knap4life
Slovenia333 Posts
When it comes to women , you have to be the "DO IT" guy and not the "Think about it" guy. | ||
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Shock710
Australia6097 Posts
On June 21 2012 21:40 Azera wrote: Try to be friends with her first! A relationship that burns furiously will extinguish early, while a relationship that has been built slowly and steadily will last. + Show Spoiler + Take what I say with a grain of salt. Never had a girlfriend before. Yeah friends first seems to work for my buddies, tho i've never a had agf either...=( Azera, i'm coming to sg! TMR! whooo! | ||
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Disposition1989
Canada270 Posts
if you go too slow, youre on the highway to the friendzone. start with something neutral, like a movie perhaps. see how she dresses and acts and stuff. did she hit you on the arm and tell you to shut UP!! etc etc. watch for these little things and gauge her interest in you | ||
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Maxd11
United States680 Posts
Good luck none the less and I hope you get her. | ||
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Stabby.aus
Australia94 Posts
It will suck if she knocks you back, but it will suck even more if she starts getting dicked by another guy while you are still plucking up the courage. trust me. | ||
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Cramsy
Australia1100 Posts
I can see you're from Australia. I'm sure you know Australians well enough by now that we don't really care and carry on for too long. Monday; "OMG DID U HEAR THAT HE ASKED HER OUT AND SHE SAID NO!?" Tuesday; 'Who?' Really, just go for it son. | ||
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FataLe
New Zealand4492 Posts
Just ask her out if you feel confident she'll say yes. What if she says no? How old are you haha. If she says no, then it's no. You can't make her like you. Life goes on man, find another whose better. Good luck OP. | ||
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UncleOwnage
Denmark36 Posts
Either she says yes and you win. Or she says no which after tiny bit of pain/awkwardness/whatever (depending on your relationship) frees you to find another suitable mate(since you probably won't be obsessing as much). | ||
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Alpino
Brazil4390 Posts
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DreamChaser
1649 Posts
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POiNTx
Belgium309 Posts
If she says yes you know what to do. This will mean she's interested in you and you have a chance. Try to stay cool. You will be nervous, but this experience will help you in the future. Either way it's a win win situation. If she says no you will have gained experience. If she says yes you will have gained a buddy and maybe a girlfriend!  Girls like guys that are confident. So try to act confident. She will like the attention she received form you. Try to imagine you being her. If a girl came up to you and asked you out, you will feel good about it. | ||
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SometimesIworkout
Cambodia75 Posts
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Suc
Australia1569 Posts
But on a serious note, I'm in university now and one of my greatest regrets from high school is not asking out the girl that I really liked. I somewhat did and she somewhat fended it off saying shit like she "wants to focus on school this year" etc and like a spineless bastard I went something like "oh no, I didn't mean anything like that, I just want to be friends, nothing else". I guess for context I guess I should have said that I asked her out to the movies. I have forever regretted not just fully telling her how I felt, I regret fucking cowering over to save face and saying that I just wanted to be friends, and I forever regret not being my own man and being confident enough to ask her, which might have contributed to her not reciprocating feelings, maybe not. Also, critically, I regret fucking dancing around it for a few months like so many people and eventually becoming a friend in her eyes, or as you more commonly know on the interwebs, being friendzoned. I can absolutely guarantee that a year or two from now or after graduation or whenever, sometime in the future, if she turned you down, you are NOT going to care. It will only improve you and make you stronger for the next girl that you like. You will absolutely regret not asking her out or getting friendzoned Please, learn from the mistakes of those who have gone before you and just do it. If she says "yes"? Sick, you just got the girl that you really like right now and it's gonna be a pretty mad time and memories. If she turns you down and randoms or your mates ask you "ooo did you ask out X" just answer with "yeah, i did". No need to hide your true feelings, the absolute worst case of people making fun of you (which, by the way, wtf, people just don't really make a big deal out of failed attempts at asking people out, because guess what? They're fucking shy and want to ask out other people too, you're all the same, don't make regrets in high school for yourself, please) will be like during the following week someone will look at you and giggle or say unlucky mate or I can't believe you asked her out. JUST DO IT! Remember, confidence is everything, when you ask, when she says yes and if she says no and people try to make fun of you or it's embarrassing. Just be confident in yourself and do what you want. It might hurt for a bit if she says no, but who cares, hang out with your mates, play starcraft, masturbate, whatever the crap you do to be happy, those emotions are so brief it's ridiculous, except for regret, that's terminal. I've probably repeated myself, but for jeebus and everything else in existence, you'll only do a favour by asking her out and only a disservice by not. | ||
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Judicator
United States7270 Posts
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Erasme
Bahamas15899 Posts
On June 21 2012 23:09 SometimesIworkout wrote: is her name kitty scherbatsky wat ? Ask her out | ||
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stilee
25 Posts
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GTR
51414 Posts
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Ryalnos
United States1946 Posts
On June 21 2012 23:09 SometimesIworkout wrote: is her name kitty scherbatsky O ya if so you gotta wait. Throw yourself completely into your career, preferably farm work or something. She'll start mooning after some other fella, then have her heart broken when he commits adultery with an older married woman. She'll be depressed for a while, but then she'll send you obvious hints that she wants you so take it from there. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States44083 Posts
The obvious choice should be to go with the first, and so your real question should be "How do I make a move?" There's always going to be the risk of failure, but if you think the risk of success is more important (and you clearly do, because you frickin like her), then just do it. Worst case scenario: She says No, you move on (eventually). Here are some tips: 1. You need to always be confident (not arrogant or cocky though). This will also help if she says No. If she turns you down, she's missing out. It's her loss. Always smile and look at her. Make her aware that she's your center of attention. 2. Bring up something she likes. Make sure you know a little about her before actually asking her out on a date. Talking with her a few times beforehand is a good idea. Make small talk; find things you have in common. If she's really passionate about something that you honestly don't know a lot about, ask her about it. Tell her it sounds interesting and ask her to tell you more about it. Then after you talk, go home and research your ass off. Maybe it's a good idea for a first date. 3. If you can't initially find anything in common (but still want to ask her out on a date), pick an event that allows for plenty of interaction between you two, yet can still have a main focus elsewhere to avoid awkward silences. An awesome first date- interestingly enough- is bowling. Neither of you have to be good at it, you can make small talk the entire time, there are occasional celebrations if one of you gets a lot of pins down, and it's a light-hearted environment. An example of a poor first date event would be a movie, as both of you just sit side-by-side in the dark without talking. You may as well not even be there. You can't get to know her better if you take her to a movie (wait for a later date for that). Food after a social event is a nice touch as well, but make sure you have enough conversational ammunition to make it through the meal (again, you want to avoid awkward silences). | ||
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Aterons_toss
Romania1275 Posts
On June 21 2012 23:05 DreamChaser wrote: 5/5 would read again If you don't have the balls to simply ask than I always thought its common logic... if you have any hobby in common than try getting into a relationship trough that and simply do the ol cheesy stuff and bam. And if you don't have any hobby in common than is it really worth the time ? I mean... it will only last for a short time n.w if not even one of them 1 drunk nights and thats it... if this is the case its no worth wasting your time unless you can simply ask her and walk away if she says no. Also, i say its oky to just "ask her out" if shes kinda in the same "league" with you, the awkward nerd in class asking out one of the hotest girls... might not work so well. But still there not really any backlash unless shes really a douche... Also, alcohol always makes everything easier... just make sure you are not TOO DRUNK Edit: Just realized i wrote an answer to a girl blog, really makes me think about where my life is going :/ | ||
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polyphonyEX
United States2539 Posts
another tip: don't think or worry about it too much, that kind of stuff will paralyze you. Personal experience fucking sucks. | ||
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
Number one. Let's get you up to where you need to be. This is probably more of a mental exercise than a physical exercise, but I think you'll need some of that too. Your mindset needs to put you up there in the same class as her. You think she's so pretty and smart and everything, but hey, you are one heck of a confident man and you're everything she wants in her life. This is a big assumption but probably a necessary one for now. Later on you should drop that assumption because it can grow into some nasty behaviour which can be potentially destructive in a relationship. Two. It's true you have to "earn" her attention, but it's a not as much of a big deal as you may think it is. Easiest way is to straight up ask her out on a date, have a good time, and induce her curiosity. You go to the same school but that doesn't mean she knows everything about you. Maybe you have some sickass singing voice that she doesn't know about. Girls love talent and if you have one, drop a hint but don't give it to her on the first date. Three. The big "what if it doesn't work". Well, if it doesn't work, then life moves on. Forever awkward? Only if you make it that way. Besides, if she's not worth the risk, then she's not worth it at all. Keep it simple, don't try to hit a home run on the first pitch at bat, take it easy and be honest with yourself. Good luck! | ||
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Snuggles
United States1865 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
Ignore all random advice as to how things should and shouldn't work. Ignore "tricks" and "suggestions". You're at the age where you're supposed to figure this stuff out for yourself, have fun and screw around. Don't START your relationship with girls by being a huge nerd who asks other nerds how this stuff works. Talk to her, have fun together. Work from there. If you still haven't figured this out in 2-3 years you can come again and post a "real" girlblog. =P | ||
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huehuehuehue
Estonia455 Posts
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Blazinghand
United States25550 Posts
Don't bother trying to go after her, she's only gonna break break your break break your heart. She's only gonna break break your break break your heart | ||
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lefix
Germany1082 Posts
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revel8
United Kingdom3022 Posts
The more conversations you have with her, the more you'll know whether she has a personality that you like or not. If she is a nightmare, then she is not worth pursuing. After a few conversations, if you still like her, ask her for if she wants to catch a film, show, concert or whatever. You can generally know whether a girl is into you or not. If she smiles a lot at you, holds your gaze for extended periods, steps close and touches you a lot (on the arm etc) then she is giving you signals that she likes you. If she never smiles at you, moves away and does not want to look at you or touch you at all, then she is probably not interested. A secret that you may not yet know is that unrequited love happens to EVERYONE. During your life, not everyone you are interested in will reciprocate that interest. And similarly you will meet people who are interested in you, but in whom you have no interest. The important thing in life is to be yourself and be comfortable with that. Don't try and be someone you are not. She'll either like you for who you are, or she will not, in which case she is not for you. As for the Friend-zone issue. Don't worry about that. If you gain a friend, firstly that's a good thing. Secondly, friendships can grow into relationships. Thirdly, having girls as friends is cool because they will introduce you to their hot friends and vouch for you! Win, win! Good luck and have fun! | ||
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Elurie
4716 Posts
Do you plan to be in high school forever? Or ask her out in your birthday suit? Otherwise, there's zero chance for it to be forever awkward. | ||
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SomniGiggles
United Kingdom214 Posts
On June 21 2012 21:16 Anacletus wrote: Just go talk to her and get to know her. What's the worst that could happen? DEATH, DEATH IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN! No but yeah, just go talk to her, who cares if it is awkward. I asked my best (girl) friend out once and we are still good friends now (she said no and it crushed my soul). | ||
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RubiksCube
Germany259 Posts
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GeckoVOD
Germany814 Posts
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FlaShFTW
United States10106 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States44083 Posts
On June 22 2012 02:24 Gecko[Xp] wrote: have you ever heard of Schrödinger's cat? I really, really hope this is a Big Bang Theory reference. | ||
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LaSt)ChAnCe
United States2179 Posts
On June 21 2012 21:15 firehand101 wrote: It has gotten to a point where it is driving me crazy. Long story short, there is a girl I like. But I just dont know........ aargg I always hear people say 'just ask her out' bla bla but what if it doesnt work? We go to the same school so it will be forever awkward ,,, hmmmmm she is so pretty, and smart, and just........ hmmmm I think it is more complicated then just asking someone out. You have to earn their respect, through hard work. Yeh maybe........maybe i will go down that route you know what's going to earn her respect? growing the balls to tell her you like her | ||
Heyoka
Katowice25012 Posts
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oPPRoBe
United States199 Posts
On June 22 2012 02:46 heyoka wrote: I once asked a girl out in high school and she said no. I couldn't tell you her name anymore because I don't remember it. If that doesn't help boost your courage a little bit, I don't know what will. There's too little information for me to give proper advice but why not try asking her out to a movie or some other activities outside of school? You can gauge her interest in you and you get to watch a movie! Good luck. | ||
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Monarch.StarCrack
United States169 Posts
Perfect example, watch the old show Beauty and the Geek. | ||
BigFan
TLADT24920 Posts
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simian_sc
United States91 Posts
Think, more Stephano swag, less Nestea awkwardness. | ||
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shizaep
Canada2920 Posts
If you do not ask her out then you will always wonder about what could have been and will regret it forever. So... just talk to her. There is a reason why everyone gives this piece of advice. | ||
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Kalingingsong
Canada633 Posts
this is a numbers game, the chances that someone will like you is usually always below 50%, because its a lot easier to not like someone than it is to like them, so all you can do is ask a lot of people to increase your chances. Even if you work your ass off for one person they can always find more "reasons" to not to like you (so don't bother focusing too much on one person). If a customer doesn't like your product, you can try to improve your product however you can, but you should spend most of your effort on finding a new customer. | ||
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Probulous
Australia3894 Posts
The most stressful thing in my life is getting out of bed to go to work. Enjoy the nerves, enjoy the shear gut-wrenching sweatiness of anticipation. If that isn't feeling alive, I don't know what is. Maybe finding fifty bucks down the back of the couch compares, or jumping out of an airplane. When people say life is for living, this is what they mean. Embrace the insanity  | ||
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firehand101
Australia3152 Posts
Haha it is all so simple when I'm on TL. Everything makes so much sense, and I am full of confidence now. Hell, i was full of confidence this morning going to school! Today was the last day of the term, and i was ready to ask her out... I had planned what i wanted to say and how to do it and everything........BUT FOR FRICGS SAKE all i did when i saw her was say 'hi' lol, there were so many opportunities to talk to her today, but i just turned away and pretended not to notice her....... IS THAT FUCKING NORMAL? fml why did i look away and not talk to her? her friends weren't even nearby, and she looked bored and lonely, and i couldnt even say anything........ this is fucked EDIT: i think i might have a disability when it comes to asking girls out....because of my sick hype in the morning, today i actually talked to so many more girls than usual, but the only one i want to ask out....wtf i pretended not to notice her? am i trying to act cool or something? | ||
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Probulous
Australia3894 Posts
It's not bad, like I said, enjoy it. There will be many years of yours where you wish you could feel that nervous expectation you get from asking someone out. It takes balls and some people are just naturals, others not so much. There are approximately 3 billion girls in the world, surely you can't fuck up with all of them Have a great weekend! | ||
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dAPhREAk
Nauru12397 Posts
On June 21 2012 21:18 firehand101 wrote: Does anyone think there are relationships that will never happen? kim taeyoon and me. =( | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
On June 21 2012 23:29 GTR wrote: give her to me Arrest this paedophile. | ||
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FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
After cold approaching women for a while, it never truly goes away. Rarely do i approach with zero anxiety, there's always a bit of nerves. I have approached with no anxiety but i have to say its not as fun. It feels a lot more satisfying and rewarding to have some anxiety. Good luck with your endeavours | ||
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NoctemSC
United States771 Posts
On June 21 2012 21:18 firehand101 wrote: Does anyone think there are relationships that will never happen? First off, how old are you? This is relevant to any advice I would give you. Of course there are relationships that will never happen, you can't force someone to like you, that's absurd. Plenty of love interests are very one sided, just because you like someone does not mean that they automatically like you. You need to provide a bit more info in the OP if you're going to ask for advice. Are you her type? Do you believe you're physically attractive? Anyone that thinks that looks don't matter is lying through their teeth. Sexual attraction is important to any healthy relationship. You SHOULD desire the other person. If you don't believe she feels the same, you can always try to woo her but honestly, you can only do so much to try to make someone like you enough to actually date you. | ||
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Suc
Australia1569 Posts
On June 22 2012 15:35 firehand101 wrote: I have read every one of these posts, and they have all been absolutely amazing. They have made me laugh out loud (lol), cry (jks) but my favorite ones were the lengthy posts that made me really think about asking out girls in general. Haha it is all so simple when I'm on TL. Everything makes so much sense, and I am full of confidence now. Hell, i was full of confidence this morning going to school! Today was the last day of the term, and i was ready to ask her out... I had planned what i wanted to say and how to do it and everything........BUT FOR FRICGS SAKE all i did when i saw her was say 'hi' lol, there were so many opportunities to talk to her today, but i just turned away and pretended not to notice her....... IS THAT FUCKING NORMAL? fml why did i look away and not talk to her? her friends weren't even nearby, and she looked bored and lonely, and i couldnt even say anything........ this is fucked EDIT: i think i might have a disability when it comes to asking girls out....because of my sick hype in the morning, today i actually talked to so many more girls than usual, but the only one i want to ask out....wtf i pretended not to notice her? am i trying to act cool or something? Just don't give up, you obviously felt somewhat baller, so keep trying. If you see her on the holidays or next term, just go for it again. You made some progress by even saying "hi" and eyeing off the opportunities. Next time, you just have to jump off the cliff, just start walking towards her and don't stop. If you can't manage to ask her straight out, just bring up something related to the date that you want to take her on and then transition into asking her out. Keep trying mate, just make sure you do it this year lol, don't leave it too long. | ||
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eviltomahawk
United States11135 Posts
Once you get past this bump in the road, everything else afterwards seems like smooth sailing. It won't be that bad afterwards if you get rejected. It won't be that awkward, and they'll be other, perhaps even better girls. You'll see another girl in the future, and you'll remember how it wasn't that bad with this current girl, so you'll go for that other girl ezpz. And better sooner than later. Methinks there is a slim timing before you get relegated into the friend-zone, at least for some girls. GO for it ASAP. | ||
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EsX_Raptor
United States2801 Posts
On June 21 2012 21:40 Azera wrote: Try to be friends with her first! A relationship that burns furiously will extinguish early, while a relationship that has been built slowly and steadily will last. + Show Spoiler + Take what I say with a grain of salt. Never had a girlfriend before. I've had a girlfriend before, and I can say that this is actually really good advice. | ||
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Sigh
Canada2433 Posts
gl! Edit: I would start with some casual conversation, get to know her a little bit and then BAM ask. Anything further (ie, trying to become good friends with her, constant texting, etc) will only land you in the land of no return --> friend zone. | ||
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Ryalnos
United States1946 Posts
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