Yesterday I decided to talk with my friend, trying to see how he reacts when i talk about his ex, before i say that i'm interested in her. So, yesterday after work i called him for a beer and we begin talking. Everything was normal until i asked him how he feels about her.
Me: Hey man, what about girl B. Did you get over her? He: Oh yeah man, i'm fine and making out with anoter girl. Me: Oh yeah? Great! I mean, its good for you He: Of course, besides, Girl B was a liar you know Me: No... what are you talking about? He: After she dumped me I found out she was dating with two other guys at the same moment Me: LOL? He: Yeah man, she's a b**ch. Me: Lol man, are you sure? He: Of course. One guy told me in facebook that she was dating him. Me: After she broke up with you, no? He: No. Me: And now? How is she? He: Idk man, I know that she is going out with another dude.
HOLY SHIT! After that I didn't even talked with him about how i am feeling, how i am attracted to that girl. I know the guy, he would never say something like that if he didn't know something... So I decided to go home and talk with the girl about what he said. Late night yesterday i was playing some PvZ and she poped up on msn. I quit and so we begin talking.
She: Hi hi, i need to tell you something Me: Hi! Go on! She: I don't know exactly how to say this but i'm sure you noted Me: Noted what? She: How we're attracted by each other Me: Ah, that? Yeah yeah... i noted She: So... what you think? Me: I don't know... sure, i'm attracted by you... but then there's friend B you dated, and he is my friend after all. She: I'm sure he wouldn't mind Me: How can you be so sure? She: He didn't told you why i broke up with him, right? Me: No. She: He is gay. Me: WTF? She: Yeah, he's a fag. She told me "I really like you but... i'm gay". He couldn't even get hard with me Me: No way, i can't believe. I mean, then why would he date you and not tell us She: Coz his mom would die of disgust. Me: Holy shit She: Yeah, i'm sure he told you guys that i dumped him but the truth is that hes gay, I couldn't accept lying just to make his life easier with his mom, so i put an end to our relationship Me: oh my god...
After that i took some time to digest what she said. WHAT THE FUCK? I mean, no problem whit he being gay, its just... how he tell me that he is doing great, making out with another girl and then girl B comes and say "oh, the reason i broke with him... he's gay". Then she called me once again on msn
She: So, can we make out sometime? Me: Oh well, aren't you making out with another guy? She: No, who told you that? Me: A friend of mine told me he saw you with this guy who is a friend of him She: What a lie, i'm not making out with anyone. Me: Well, alright. I just need to figure if friend A is okay with me making out with you. She: Why? I told you he doesn't care Me: I know, but... just give some time to cope with those news. She: Okay, i need to sleep. Bye <3 Me: G.night ^^
Oh man, this is getting worse. That guy (Friend B) isn't the type to lie about something serious as that. And what girl B told me... i don't know what to think, i do now that my friend has some gay stereotypes but nothing that you could point and say: Man, why don't you just get out of the closet, you're gay. i know its complicated because his mom is old and full of prejudice...
Any advices? Shoul i just get out of this or try to see what the real truth?
If you don't know what i'm talking about, read this: Bros b4 Hoes?
So the plot thickens... Time to put on your detective hat and do some research man.. I suggest you make a list of facts/evidence you have found on this thread and our mighty fine TL research team will interpet the data and come up with a conclusion
First some questions btw:
Question 1: Was the conversation with her really that short? As in, did she really go to the point of the attraction right away, or was she "circling" the subject a bit before going in for the kill (question)?
Question 2: What do you know about your friend? According to her there are three things that you should be able to know or check: -He's a blatant liar -He's gay -apparently his mom is very anti gay according to her Any of those things true or feaseble?
Great care my friend, it's clear that at least one of the two are lying (possibly both as well) and you need to keep your shoes out of the mud. May I carefully suggest that you keep yourself clear of the girl for at least another few days while you sort things out.
Also, yes, keep us updated, the drama is delicious.
On May 31 2012 22:49 B.I.G. wrote: So the plot thickens... Time to put on your detective hat and do some research man.. I suggest you make a list of facts/evidence you have found on this thread and our mighty fine TL research team will interpet the data and come up with a conclusion
First some questions btw:
Question 1: Was the conversation with her really that short? As in, did she really go to the point of the attraction right away, or was she "circling" the subject a bit before going in for the kill (question)?
Question 2: What do you know about your friend? According to her there are three things that you should be able to know or check: -He's a blatant liar -He's gay -apparently his mom is very anti gay according to her Any of those things true or feaseble?
1- Yeah, she just called me on msn and it was like "hey, know what? I like you. You like me. Why don't we make out?"
2- His mom is not only very anti gay, she's what we call "old hag", hating everything we do (RPG, music, games...), and always call that friend a disgust.
Also, i never thought he could be gay because he never showed something that you could point as "gayish". Hes some sort of emo kid, so i always put him on those emo things and not gay things.
If she was going to lie, why lie about something so serious like his sexual orientation? I'd try and see who your friend is making out with and go from there.
Secondly, If he really was gay and wanted to keep it secret, would it not be extremely mean for the girl to go ahead and tell everyone about it?
So here are my logical possible conclusions (they are quite cynical, mind you)
1) Your friend actually is gay (which is ok. I reckon a lot of gay people wouldn't want people to know about it, especially as teenagers), but the girl shows an extreme lack of respect for spreading it. Imagine what she could do to you after you break up. Would you want your biggest secrets to be revealed the moment you break up? Could you trust her?
2) She's a manipulative liar who likes to use guys. So why would you want her?
Of course both of these could be wrong, as I don't know any extra information.. But both of these options are pretty common behaviour among teenagers (I'm 20 myself so have seen many things like this)
On May 31 2012 23:29 Torte de Lini wrote: If she was going to lie, why lie about something so serious like his sexual orientation? I'd try and see who your friend is making out with and go from there.
That's what crossed my mind, why lie about something so serious. And what about the other guy she was supposed dating? My friend isn't the type to lie...
maybe they started a war against each other and are just spreading lies all around to see what happens? so childish...
On May 31 2012 23:30 Mongoose wrote: Ok firstly this is hilarious..
Secondly, If he really was gay and wanted to keep it secret, would it not be extremely mean for the girl to go ahead and tell everyone about it?
So here are my logical possible conclusions (they are quite cynical, mind you)
1) Your friend actually is gay (which is ok. I reckon a lot of gay people wouldn't want people to know about it, especially as teenagers), but the girl shows an extreme lack of respect for spreading it. Imagine what she could do to you after you break up. Would you want your biggest secrets to be revealed the moment you break up? Could you trust her?
2) She's a manipulative liar who likes to use guys. So why would you want her?
Of course both of these could be wrong, as I don't know any extra information.. But both of these options are pretty common behaviour among teenagers (I'm 20 myself so have seen many things like this)
Yeah, it would be really mean...
1) If my friend was gay, i think the only real problem would be his mom. But yeah, if he is gay, that girl will be ruled out of any possible relationship we'd have (even friendship). I don't keep people i couldn't trust close to me, while i must admit that i'd never tell her any secrets... heck, I dated a girl for two years and she didn't any secrets i had or still have.
2) If she's a manipulative liar, i won't want her anymore.
Yeah... All you need to do is get together with your friend and his supposed girl that he is making out. If she exists and they kiss, the conclusion is pretty obvious. But I think i'm gonna take your friends side on this. Just because, if I were him, and was gay, and my mom was heavily anti-gay, I wouldn't try find a girl to date, tell her im gay and I only want to date her for pretend. I mean, how dumb is that? All he has to do is remain 'single'(for appearances anyway) and his mom can't say shit. If you try trick a girl into being your 'girlfriend' and then tell her you are gay, of course thats not going to work and backfire down the road, when she tells people. I just can't imagine anyone being that short-sighted\stupid. So I would give him the benefit of the doubt for the time being.
LOL. Dude, the most elegant solution is to make a pass at your friend. If he kisses you back with feeling, then you know he's gay. If he's like uh wtf dude?? Then maybe he's straight. Or he could just be surprised by your suddenness. The best way to make sure is to kiss him again and then pull back and giggle. That should bring him out of his shell. If he punches you, then he's probably not gay. But even then... there's still a chance he's just playing hard to get.
At that point though, you're in the clear. Your friend punched you when you were simply showing him love. That means it's okay to make out with his ex-gf. Proceed to Cloud Nine.
On June 01 2012 00:24 StorkHwaiting wrote: LOL. Dude, the most elegant solution is to make a pass at your friend. If he kisses you back with feeling, then you know he's gay. If he's like uh wtf dude?? Then maybe he's straight. Or he could just be surprised by your suddenness. The best way to make sure is to kiss him again and then pull back and giggle. That should bring him out of his shell. If he punches you, then he's probably not gay. But even then... there's still a chance he's just playing hard to get.
At that point though, you're in the clear. Your friend punched you when you were simply showing him love. That means it's okay to make out with his ex-gf. Proceed to Cloud Nine.
I think we can all agree this is the right course of action.
On June 01 2012 00:24 StorkHwaiting wrote: LOL. Dude, the most elegant solution is to make a pass at your friend. If he kisses you back with feeling, then you know he's gay. If he's like uh wtf dude?? Then maybe he's straight. Or he could just be surprised by your suddenness. The best way to make sure is to kiss him again and then pull back and giggle. That should bring him out of his shell. If he punches you, then he's probably not gay. But even then... there's still a chance he's just playing hard to get.
At that point though, you're in the clear. Your friend punched you when you were simply showing him love. That means it's okay to make out with his ex-gf. Proceed to Cloud Nine.
I think we can all agree this is the right course of action.
please video tape this test for the sake of research!
But seriously, I've had had many people I considered friends who turned out to be total liars, so don't count out this girl yet... I dont know, something about your friend's story is kinda suspicious.. I mean what dude would message you on facebook that your banging the same chick right? Also, IF she's a notrious whore who doesn't seem to be to secretive about her escapades, why would she bother lying about it?
The most important question here is: Who of those two has the most to gain from lying? -Your friend has his honor to defend -And the girl... I guess it's either her relationship (or w/e) with you or her reputation...
If I were you I would delve deeper into these "cheating" stories. Figure out who the guy (supposedly) is that messaged him on facebook. Usually, it will be someone you know..
On June 01 2012 00:24 StorkHwaiting wrote: LOL. Dude, the most elegant solution is to make a pass at your friend. If he kisses you back with feeling, then you know he's gay. If he's like uh wtf dude?? Then maybe he's straight. Or he could just be surprised by your suddenness. The best way to make sure is to kiss him again and then pull back and giggle. That should bring him out of his shell. If he punches you, then he's probably not gay. But even then... there's still a chance he's just playing hard to get.
At that point though, you're in the clear. Your friend punched you when you were simply showing him love. That means it's okay to make out with his ex-gf. Proceed to Cloud Nine.
I think we can all agree this is the right course of action.
If you have any other gay friends you could have them make a pass at him and then get the skinny later on.
Its hard to really say who is lying in this case just based on the information presented - because I don't really understand what the cultural norms are in Brazil concerning gay men, and girls dating multiple people at once.
If this was happening in the states, I'd be somewhat more inclined to believe the girl (although I have met some crazy bitches who want to juggle more than one guy)
On May 31 2012 23:30 Mongoose wrote: Ok firstly this is hilarious..
Secondly, If he really was gay and wanted to keep it secret, would it not be extremely mean for the girl to go ahead and tell everyone about it?
So here are my logical possible conclusions (they are quite cynical, mind you)
1) Your friend actually is gay (which is ok. I reckon a lot of gay people wouldn't want people to know about it, especially as teenagers), but the girl shows an extreme lack of respect for spreading it. Imagine what she could do to you after you break up. Would you want your biggest secrets to be revealed the moment you break up? Could you trust her?
2) She's a manipulative liar who likes to use guys. So why would you want her?
Of course both of these could be wrong, as I don't know any extra information.. But both of these options are pretty common behaviour among teenagers (I'm 20 myself so have seen many things like this)
Yeah, it would be really mean...
1) If my friend was gay, i think the only real problem would be his mom. But yeah, if he is gay, that girl will be ruled out of any possible relationship we'd have (even friendship). I don't keep people i couldn't trust close to me, while i must admit that i'd never tell her any secrets... heck, I dated a girl for two years and she didn't any secrets i had or still have.
2) If she's a manipulative liar, i won't want her anymore.[/QUOTE]
Wait so you wouldn't go out with her because she told you that your friend was gay, and he ends up being gay. I don't think you can rule out friendship because you don't trust her. I think she just likes you and she ended up lying to protect your friend from the masses finding out he's gay.
On the gay part I don't believe it. If he is that emotionally distraught over leaving this girl, then it doesn't really make sense that he's gay, unless something else happened.
I think you have to dig deepr, but if you confront your friend and ask are you guy, your might get the wrong response and it will be that much harder for you to get to the bottom of this mud pit.
On June 01 2012 00:24 StorkHwaiting wrote: LOL. Dude, the most elegant solution is to make a pass at your friend. If he kisses you back with feeling, then you know he's gay. If he's like uh wtf dude?? Then maybe he's straight. Or he could just be surprised by your suddenness. The best way to make sure is to kiss him again and then pull back and giggle. That should bring him out of his shell. If he punches you, then he's probably not gay. But even then... there's still a chance he's just playing hard to get.
At that point though, you're in the clear. Your friend punched you when you were simply showing him love. That means it's okay to make out with his ex-gf. Proceed to Cloud Nine.
I mean, either way it seems to me that you guys are just getting together, as she so aptly put it, "to make out." I mean, who in hell messages someone who they are attracted to and asks if they can make out? It just seems weird, at least to me (since girls never did that to me ahahaha). So even if your friend is lying... where is this going to go?
Anyway, I think you should confront your friend, at the very least. Regardless of this girl, you really ought to find out. Good luck, it might be a little hard, though.
I'll try to delve some more into this... I'd never ask him directly as I don't think I'm close enough for him to reveal something that, if its true, he kept a secret for such a longe time. But hey, we live in a damn small city so if someone here has to know.
I'll go on and do some research on the girl background too, if she a manipulative type there must be other guys she used. I don't think she is one of those thou. Maybe i'll go and ask her cousin (girl A from previous blog), I'm sure she must know something...
Looks like my first TL post is going to be in a girl blog. I have been able to resist posting anything on TL for a while, but reading this just makes me wanna stop studying Galois Fields for a bit and take a moment to reply... nomnomnom drama!
On June 01 2012 00:24 StorkHwaiting wrote: LOL. Dude, the most elegant solution is to make a pass at your friend. If he kisses you back with feeling, then you know he's gay. If he's like uh wtf dude?? Then maybe he's straight. Or he could just be surprised by your suddenness. The best way to make sure is to kiss him again and then pull back and giggle. That should bring him out of his shell. If he punches you, then he's probably not gay. But even then... there's still a chance he's just playing hard to get.
At that point though, you're in the clear. Your friend punched you when you were simply showing him love. That means it's okay to make out with his ex-gf. Proceed to Cloud Nine.
Be sure to get some good practice first though. I wouldn't settle for anything less than a couple of weeks of practicing. You should find someone who you know has experience, or is at least willing to learn aswell. After all you wouldn't want your friend to dislike you for being a bad kisser, if he does turn out to be gay
OT: How good are you at reading people's emotions off their faces/gestures/...? If you know your friend pretty well and are able to pretty accurately tell when he's lying, you could just ask him if he's gay. That would resolve the whole issue, would it not?
Another option could be to come clean about your feelings to your friend. Something like "I'm actually really into her. She asked me if I would like to go out with her. I told her I need time to evaluate first. What are your thoughts?" See, it's possible he's be giving you biased statements about the girl at this time to help him forget about her. Given this, if he realises you're interested in her and is a close friend, the truth will come out. Allow me to quickly sum up possible outcomes to demonstrate my point. For the next part I will assume that you want act based solely on your friend's opionion about you dating his ex-girlfriend and that your friend is a good friend. Event M (mean) means she's as mean and heartless as he initially said she is. Event NM (not mean) means she's not. Event K (okay) means he expresses that he doesn't mind if you go out with her. Event NK (not okay) means he expresses he would prefer you not go out with her for whatever reason supplied by the incoming list. Event ND (no date) means he'll tell you to not date her. Event D (date) means he'll "grant you permission" to date her. By "expresses" I mean that he'll say that to you, regardless of truth or lies.
Example of how to read "M + K -> D": The girl you like is mean and evil and your friend says it's okay to date her. In this case you should date the girl. Possible outcomes:
M + K -> D; he thinks you should do what you think makes you happy regardless of what he's feeling. You may thus start dating the girl you like without anyone getting their feelings hurt (except for yourself possibly).
NM + K -> D; he's perfectly fine with you dating his really nice and sweet ex. You three will live happily ever after.
M + NK -> ND; he doesn't want you to get hurt so he tells you to NOT do it. By not dating you stay true to bros before hoes. This is a good thing as you would have gotten hurt if you didn't. The girl goes on to be foreveralone.
NM + NK -> ND; By not dating you, again, stay true to bros before hoes. Your friend probably still likes the girl and consequently tells you to not date her.
So now, thanks to the list above, you'll be able to chose the optimal course of action based on the replies you get after talking to your friend about your fondness for this girl. -- Wow that took some time to write :D
EDIT: Because I took so long I missed the new information >_> Allow me to add a rule that overrules all lists or statementsmentioned above: Not that close to the guy? -> Date her... always.
On June 01 2012 00:11 Chill wrote: I have seen the future. It's a disaster.
Haha chill, glad to see you pop up with gems every now and then like the old days
On topic, find out what's going on first, trick them into meeting eachother and ambush them till they tell you the truth But seriously she doesn't seem like the right choice in any circumstance
On June 01 2012 01:24 CyDe wrote: I mean, either way it seems to me that you guys are just getting together, as she so aptly put it, "to make out." I mean, who in hell messages someone who they are attracted to and asks if they can make out? It just seems weird, at least to me (since girls never did that to me ahahaha). So even if your friend is lying... where is this going to go?
Anyway, I think you should confront your friend, at the very least. Regardless of this girl, you really ought to find out. Good luck, it might be a little hard, though.
If you checked his nationality, English isnt his first language, I'm sure you can get the gist of what's going on without taking it so literally
If I were you, I'd rather trust the man then the girl. The "he's gay" - excuse is a bit too much, it sounds like she's needy for attention and wants to make you feel awkward about talking to him. That way, she can prevent you from finding out about her making out with two (or three?) guys at once, and it's cheap and easy too, for I'm sure his mom must be quite well known in your friends social circle.
Your friend on the other hand very obviously doesn't care at all, he might have even wondered why you asked about his ex.
TL;DR: You're friend is not gay and the girl is a liar.
Chill, might you be referring to this gem that recently popped up on the Automated Ban List thread? One can only dream that this girl blog of ambiguous circumstances could attain such heights.
Chill, might you be referring to this gem that recently popped up on the Automated Ban List thread? One can only dream that this girl blog of ambiguous circumstances could attain such heights.
Hmm. If he's lying, or she's lying, I would say that your best bet is to suddenly develop an interest elsewhere.
The amount of drama, baggage, heartache, and horrible horrible times you are opening yourself to is quite literally incalculable. (Personally, I think she's lying. Not because of the "he's gay" thing, but because her word structure and very fast movement in the chat log lends a lot of credence to your guy friend's concerns.)
It's not worth the havoc it can wreak. Arms length, man, until you figure out who's a psycho, who's not a psycho, and whether this will end with you on an episode of Jerry Springer.
On June 01 2012 00:24 StorkHwaiting wrote: LOL. Dude, the most elegant solution is to make a pass at your friend. If he kisses you back with feeling, then you know he's gay. If he's like uh wtf dude?? Then maybe he's straight. Or he could just be surprised by your suddenness. The best way to make sure is to kiss him again and then pull back and giggle. That should bring him out of his shell. If he punches you, then he's probably not gay. But even then... there's still a chance he's just playing hard to get.
At that point though, you're in the clear. Your friend punched you when you were simply showing him love. That means it's okay to make out with his ex-gf. Proceed to Cloud Nine.
I think we can all agree this is the right course of action.
My advice dump the whore,then get rid of the possibly gay friend there both assholes. and have some self worth about yourself even if it isn't deserved
Well, I'll be watching MIB 3 with my friends today so she'll be there but my friend won't as he has a class to attend. I'll try to talk with her cousin... expect updates very soon.
No one is considering the possibility that she has lied, but his friend is in fact gay... Gay check with friend would lead to a false confirmation that she is not a liar. I play mafia too much...
On June 01 2012 05:21 Risen wrote: No one is considering the possibility that she has lied, but his friend is in fact gay... Gay check with friend would lead to a false confirmation that she is not a liar. I play mafia too much...
Dude she's a lying cunt. If you want confirmation your friend said the other guy told him on facebook. Ask him to show you. I'm amazed how you could be duped by that... simply the way she's talking to you makes it quite clear what she wants. Even in the best case scenario she couldn't stand lying about him being gay? wtf? that's a really hard thing to come out with and she couldn't respect his wishes to keep it secret. Also any girl who simply says "so can we makeout sometime?" isn't good news.
EPT
good luck
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