EPTI can't remember the last Mother's Day when we were together. Six months is a long time to have not talked to you. I wrote you a letter earlier this week so it would get to you by today, but I got it back in the mail with "Prisoner released" on the front. I wish you could have read it in time, but hopefully it'll get to you eventually. I said a lot of things that I didn't think I could talk to you about. But I hope that means I can talk to you soon, in person, but right now I'm not really sure where you are.
I don't envy the life you've had to live. Addiction is a terrible thing and you've been dealing with that since you were littler than I am. The fact that you haven't quit is what gives me hope that you never will until you're clean. And I know you will.
You won't be able to make my graduation, but that's ok. I don't even want to go, so I hope you're not too sad about that.
We all miss you. Josh is struggling, but I'm there for him. You've left them with a rough start to their lives. I tell him that adversity is what defines a person's character. He looks up to me a lot, because he doesn't have that influence in his life, so he takes what I have to say as life truths. He's a strong kid, and he'll be just fine. He just misses you, we all do.
I'll be leaving on my mission here in a few months, and I really hope we can say goodbye, this time a happy one, not one where you're going back to rehab or wherever else and all the unsaid words we have dig deep.
We do have a lot of good memories, though. I remember when I felt like you weren't spending enough time with me and I told you about it, so the next night we went on a mom and son date to the movie. I hated the show but that meant a lot to me. I've been a little down and discouraged lately, and when I'm like that I always think of you. Life was good, but that's not to say it won't be again. You're so strong. I know how much love your heart holds. I wouldn't trade you for any mom in the world. Maybe the circumstance, but never you. You're my mother, and I wouldn't be the person I am without you.
Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you so, so much.
