So here is part one of the train wreck that will be my casual ff9 run.
An intro that wouldn't be too far out of place in Link's awakening...
The game opens up with Zidane entering a darkened room. After a quick jump to the settings and stealing 43 gil from the back of the room we finally get to name Zidane properly and are greeted by the varies members of Tantalus who are a gang of thieves with one of the lines being rather accurate to how SeeKeR actually acts...
Bashing the X and square buttons causes a battle to ensue against a man in a dragon costume unfortunately it also forces the use of the worst characters in the game ( I'm looking at you Cinna ) during the battle who I demote to steal duty getting Seeker a new weapon on the first swipe.
LOOK CINNA DID SOMETHING USEFUL!
Winning the battle having Cinna steal some wrists and another potion the Tantalus gang unveil their plans to kidnap the princess garnet (or dagger or Sarah depending on which of her many names you want to use) or if your really bored you can keep insisting you want to kidnap the queen forcing an alternate cut scene. Regardless of the choice you make (I went for the easy one) the game goes to a second cut scene introducing the best (and youngest) character of the series.
Vivi is always awesome
Gaining control of Vivi (and being mugged by a little girl for the ticket) I proceed to challenge the impossible task of running away from Puck the annoying rat kid through the first street. As anticipated it didn't go as expected and puck knocked over a helpless 6 month old child.
so so close
Retrieving the fake ticket the little girl gave Vivi from the floor and having Puck run off into the distance I find out that surprisingly the ticket was a fake and the little girl did in fact steal it ( Please note the little girl may not have stolen the ticket it is just very likely happened) As a punishment for showing a fake ticket to the ticket master he forces upon Vivi the cruellest form of slave labour by giving him three game cards telling him to seek out a thief / sword collector who kills people in multiple final fantasy games on how to play a small game ( Amazing advice to give a 6 month old child )
Thanks for the cards that I probably won't use in Treno
Ignoring the advice of the ticket master completely I run into an alleyway to find Puck (Not the Faerie Dragon) trying to steal a ladder which I gladly help him with running to a near by chapel ignoring the dialogue that should happen because Vivi is too awesome for pointless starter dialogue. Upon entering the chapel Vivi is brutally attacked by a Moogle seeking revenge for all the abuse I am about to do to them by dragging them all over the world and calling them because of miss clicks.
I promise to only call you when I need to save. For the love of god leave Vivi alone
Saving the game and preventing any possibility of me having to go through the first few scenes again I chase after
Who saw this coming?
Drazerk and Puck run a few more buildings and start the third cut scene which introduces the third character to the game. Once the cut scene is over the game returns to the point of view of the Tantalus group who are performing the play I want to be your canary involving a battle with the tantalus leader only this time your not allowed to steal from him and the battle is filled with pointless special effects designed to waste time.
After Cinna sat around doing nothing because he is useless the game goes to a quick mini game where you have to impress nobles by pressing the buttons that appear on the screen without making a single mistake and doing it as quickly as you possibly can (Generally before they even fully appear on screen) if you don't impress all 100 nobles your deemed to failure and will have to restart the entire section. Luckily for me I got a perfect first section which enabled an easier second section to the mini game giving me the perfect 100/100
Thank you for the 10,000 gil and the moonstone I am now off to go steal your princess!
Upon regaining control of SeeKer the game quickly goes into more dialog where SeeKer falls in love with princess
While waiting 20 minutes to the music to get old the jesters run off to the queen to inform her of ????'s flight forcing the tin man from the wizard of Oz to get a name and save her.
Mister Adelbert mister Con at your service
Mister Adelbert mister Con decides to ignore the queen's order however and steal the moonstone Seeker won from the queen and then go save the game at the moogle in the guard house ending this section of the game until next time...
Side notes: I have no intention of doing mognet or the choco side quests and I am currently playing on an emulator