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my asshole lost its virginity today - Page 3

Blogs > emucxg
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 4 Next All
TheKwas
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Iceland372 Posts
April 20 2012 16:49 GMT
#41
I've had a rectal exam before and no pain was involved other than mild discomfort. You're a giant sissy.
emucxg
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Finland4559 Posts
April 20 2012 16:53 GMT
#42
On April 21 2012 01:49 TheKwas wrote:
I've had a rectal exam before and no pain was involved other than mild discomfort. You're a giant sissy.

I'm not =(

there is a wound in my ass -.-
Azzur
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Australia6260 Posts
April 20 2012 17:20 GMT
#43
Hahaha, LOLing internally as I read this! :p
rolfe
Profile Joined September 2010
United Kingdom1266 Posts
April 20 2012 17:21 GMT
#44
one time when i was going through an american airport i was taken to one side by a security guy as something was setting off the metal detector. as it turned out all he wanted to do was to ask me some more questions but the fucking bastard that he was before he asked me the questions and used the hand held metal detector put on the latex gloves of doom. i've rarely in my life been that absolutely terrified. i was so relieved being let go without getting to second base with a bloody security guard
life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously but there it is. Life finds a way
mordek
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States12705 Posts
April 20 2012 17:28 GMT
#45
Second base? O.o
It is vanity to love what passes quickly and not to look ahead where eternal joy abides. Tiberius77 | Mordek #1881 "I took a mint!"
Barburas
Profile Joined September 2011
United Kingdom247 Posts
April 20 2012 17:34 GMT
#46
On April 21 2012 01:53 emucxg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2012 01:49 TheKwas wrote:
I've had a rectal exam before and no pain was involved other than mild discomfort. You're a giant sissy.

I'm not =(

there is a wound in my ass -.-


Then it's probably not a fair judgement of anal sex :p
Wortie
Profile Joined September 2011
Netherlands212 Posts
April 20 2012 18:31 GMT
#47
Thanks OP, this is the most funniest blog ever. I also like to note I usually invision everything I read. But that doesn't matter, I've seen worse.
Mothra
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States1448 Posts
April 20 2012 18:38 GMT
#48
On April 21 2012 00:22 emucxg wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 21 2012 00:01 straycat wrote:
Why didnt you tell him it hurt like hell?? That could have been an important medical clue!

ya, i knew i was dumb as fuck, but fortunately figured it out later, after I put my pants on, he asked me again how does it feel, I told him it does hurt alot, he said its normal because there is some blood on the tube. i never got chance to see to tube myself.

some tips i got from doctor.

-i should avoid using toilet papers anymore because my ass is dry and the skin inside of ass is very very weak, and should use water instead.... I guess i have to clean my ass with my fucking hand in the future.

- also i need to me stop "holding the shit"... which i did alot, thx to league of legends. go to take shit immediately when you want to.

- fruits, veggies are also good for ass. I definitely need to eat them more. also drinking alot water is important.

- dont sit too long... including sit next to computer, driving etc... (about 80% of fulltime drivers has hemorrhoid), try to take a walk after dinner/before sleep.


Doctor also wrote a receipt for me.. some cream i need to put on my asshole everyday: Anoheal Cream (Diltiazem Hydrochloride) i havent buy it yet.


anyways, hemorrhoid is not a big deal at all, to avoid it you just need to live more healthy.


LoL: ruins asses in more ways than one.
Storchen
Profile Joined September 2006
Sweden4385 Posts
April 20 2012 18:41 GMT
#49
On April 21 2012 01:49 TheKwas wrote:
I've had a rectal exam before and no pain was involved other than mild discomfort. You're a giant sissy.


I also had a prostate exam and I agree. It didn't hurt at all. My doctor was female though so my manliness took a beating. I don't know if your doctor used lube, but my did and that was the worst part. Going to the bathroom and cleaning all the lube from my ass. Lube guys, LUBE!
rolfe
Profile Joined September 2010
United Kingdom1266 Posts
April 20 2012 18:45 GMT
#50
On April 21 2012 02:28 mordek wrote:
Second base? O.o

am i wrong? i thought second base was hand based stuff?
life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously but there it is. Life finds a way
Crownlol
Profile Blog Joined October 2011
United States3726 Posts
April 20 2012 19:27 GMT
#51
I'm so sorry this happened to you, but it was hysterically written.

I laughed reading the whole thing. I'm sorry, but I'm laughing.
shaGuar :: elemeNt :: XeqtR :: naikon :: method
Elegance
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
Canada917 Posts
April 20 2012 19:51 GMT
#52
It's just as bad having to be the one playing with people's assholes
Power of Ze
Chiharu Harukaze
Profile Joined September 2011
12112 Posts
April 20 2012 20:52 GMT
#53
Oh emuxcg.... <3
It's like, "Is the Federation's Mobile Suit some kind of monster?"
Recognizable
Profile Blog Joined December 2011
Netherlands1552 Posts
April 20 2012 21:02 GMT
#54
looool, you made me laugh 5 stars haha.
ViGotH
Profile Blog Joined November 2011
South Africa4 Posts
April 20 2012 21:02 GMT
#55
This is quite random.... but now I know what to expect should I head into the same direction xD
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
April 20 2012 21:21 GMT
#56
Well that sounded like a pleasant experience, although I believe you overstated it a good bit.
On a related note, I do like your analogy for life.
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
TheToast
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States4808 Posts
April 20 2012 22:01 GMT
#57
This is... extremely immature.

There's really nothing funny about these types of things, it could have turned out to be something more serious. It's good that you got it checked out, and you should be glad you have access to good healthcare.

icouldnt even breath... srsly this makes me thinking, why does some ppl have anal sex?


Well, I'm going to go ahead and guess most of the people engaging in that probably don't have a hemerrhoid....
I like the way the walls go out. Gives you an open feeling. Firefly's a good design. People don't appreciate the substance of things. Objects in space. People miss out on what's solid.
OmniEulogy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada6593 Posts
April 20 2012 22:07 GMT
#58
You are the man!
LiquidDota Staff
ampson
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States2355 Posts
April 20 2012 23:00 GMT
#59
I feel so awful that I was cracking up as I read this thread. Good luck with the hemorrhoid!
Monsen
Profile Joined December 2002
Germany2548 Posts
April 20 2012 23:01 GMT
#60
On April 21 2012 00:38 CTStalker wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 20 2012 23:42 emucxg wrote:
... I still dont know how many fingers did he put to my ass, but i guess maybe 2 or 3 fingers.

LMAO


Yeah, I laughed at that too- probably was his whole arm!
11 years and counting- TL #680
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