|
So you never actually stated a reason for all this. Why are you in this situation?
It sounds to me like you stopped showing up to school regularly because you didn't feel like it, and then your friends stopped calling you because you were never around (which is what most people would do), and then you stopped showing up to school altogether. And now all you do idly watch your peers grow up and pass you by, while you sit around feeling sorry for yourself, instead of doing something about it.
You mention "battling emotions". What emotions specifically? You say you have "an interest to improve", but it sure as hell doesn't sound like you do. If that were the case, you'd be out looking for jobs or going to school or at the very least, doing something more productive than dicking around on the internet and sleeping all day. You aren't going to get anywhere waiting for your life to magically turn itself around. If you want something, you're going to have to work for it.
|
I sat around playing games and barely working (~25 hours a week) for a month in the uni break when the rest of my family was on a long holiday. It's really, really bad man. Go to school to learn, interact and combat depressive tendencies from developing, until you either start an apprenticeship or graduate. At your age stopping going to school is actually stupid.
|
As someone who's battled depressive tendencies myself I can empathise with your position to some extent. A lot of the previous posts had great advice about getting back on track and I strongly advise you to follow them.
The only thing I can add is that you need to have positivity in your life. If you feel shit all day from sitting inside then go outside. Exercise, talk to people, or just be around them. Engage in online communities such as an online clan where you can at least enjoy a social aspect of gaming. Focus on improving your play at sc2 instead of just sitting there wondering why you're losing. If you feel your brain slipping away then go to school, or read books, or articles.
Just remember that it's not what society says you have to do, it's your own friggin life and you can do whatever the fuck you like with it. Do you need to complete high school? No. Do you need to have social interaction? Yes. Do you need exercise? Yes. Do you need fun? Yes.
It's not not going to highschool that's making you feel like shit it's your lack of any drive, interaction or motive. Surely there are things you love in this world, so work at them. If Starcraft is an escape from all the things that stress you in life then why not work at improving and involving yourself in the sc2 community and maybe one day your job will be as a progamer or caster. Don't just have the negative attitude of "oh like that's gunna happen". Anything that builds positivity and happiness in your life is something you should be investing your time into. Once you are feeling more well things like school, job and social interaction will find their way back into your life.
I had a similar experience disappearing into gaming and sitting at my pc all day instead of going to uni. What eventually got me out of it was making sc2 my life. I enjoyed improving at it so much that I just kept doing it because it gave me so much positive energy. Eventually I quit uni and began coaching starcraft full-time (30-40 hours/week) and everything steadily got much happier in my life. I'm now playing fulltime, getting back into shape through regular exercise, enjoying fresh foods and spending lots of time with my girlfriend (who i met just before i started coaching). It seems so different to when I was alone and quite isolated from society but it serves as an example of how vastly things can change if you do what you love.
Now does that mean go become a progamer? Nope. What I'm saying is try to do what makes you happy, but not in an addictive-escapist sort of way. Try to do things that keep you mentally and physically motivated, even if they don't deliver money or career paths. You're really young and at a point where that shit doesn't matter! What matters is your happiness and health!
|
This is such a ridiculous blog and could only come from a child.
What could possibly entitle you to feel that you could just drop out of school, ignore everyone's advice and still lead a good life playing computer games and doing what you want? You don't deserve an outlet, you haven't earned an outlet at all, you've earned literally nothing, that's why you get no sense of satisfaction from it. I got a tonne of satisfaction out of sitting on my ass all weekend, playing Path of Exile and some other games, got a bit stoned too, I was satisfied because I'd spent the last month working almost non stop on my masters thesis (particle physics woo!) and I earned my break.
Are you taking your GCSE's or have you just dropped out?
The country is in a pretty terrible spot right now, youth unemployment is at an all time high, now granted you can put a decent amount of this down to 'graduates' from shitty ex-polytechnics thinking they deserve a real graduate job but it still doesn't change the facts, there aren't enough jobs for your average low end graduate so why will there be a job for you.
The very fact that you stopped going to school at such an early age and (as you suggest) the fact that you will fail to get a single GCSE* is only going to tell employers, not only are you potentially illiterate and innumerate but you also have almost no motivation, I'm not even sure the armed forces will take people with no GCSE's, although maybe they have their own test which you could take.
Of course that doesn't mean you're totally screwed, oh no, you're young and you've fucked up really bad but you still have another 40+ years in you to fuck up still if you so chose.
My advice, leave your parents house, all you will do there is sit on your ass and do nothing, leave.
Don't take anything with you bar clothes and some books, live on the welfare state for a few months and you'll see how shitty things are, you won't be able to afford a computer, let alone the games to play on it, you'll have to learn to budget shop for food and watch every penny you spend.
Then once you've learnt not to be such a leech, go back and do your god damn GCSE's.
* To put this into context for everyone, I have 11 GCSE's A-C, 1 or two people out of 120ish in my year at school failed to get 11 (they got 5 or more, I cant remember exactly) and one person got 14 A* grades
|
I don't understand what prevented you from going to school and why whould you do everything possible to not go. However to the point. You won't have a good time while playing games anymore, unless you fix your life first. It doesn't work like that. You can't be escaping forever by playing games or just surfing the net, this will consume you totally.
I have gone through some rough stages in life and always when i tried to escape it by doing nothing, i ended up in much worse situation. I know it is hard, but you have to fight it. START DOING SOMETHING NOW, FIX PROBLEMS STEP BY STEP. There must be something besides sitting behind a computer screen, that you wish to do or dream about and there is nothing that is stopping you except yourself.
|
|
|
On April 03 2012 07:03 FFGenerations wrote:
i think more of us might ask "where are your parents" lol
Yeah, his parents definitely aren't doing a very good job letting him skip on school like that...
From my perspective, living a life like that is really really dreary and depressing although I'm sure it feels much more normal to you. Eventually reality is going to catch up and bite you in the ass.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
