EPTPart 1: Being Single vs Searching
So lately I've been thinking a lot about my life and a lot about what I want out of it.
About 2 months ago I asked this girl in one of my classes out. We went out on a couple dates, hung out a did homework together a couple more, and talked quite a bit and seem to have the same things in mind for our future. But the passed month or so we've been talking less and less and haven't hung out at all. So I kinda took this as she lost interest and moved on. But because we have class together she constantly "leads me on", most likely with out meaning to. By asking me to walk her to her next class, waiting for me outside the door to talk after class, or even having wait with her for the bus when she skips her class. So that lead me to where I was about a week ago. Completely confused and had no idea what I wanted to do to either fix it or let it go altogether.
But then came Saint Patrick's day. One of my best friends(who happens to be a female) and I hung out at the restaurant she works at had a couple drink, went back to her place drank some more, went back to her workplace and ate then went to the bars. I wasn't there to pick up girls but I wasn't above at least checking some out and she laughed at me as I did it. Another friend of ours met up with us at like midnight and we finished the night out with some pizza. The next day...I don't know what it was but I got up from my computer and walked down my hallway, smiled the biggest smile I've smiled in a long time and just thought "god damn am I happy I don't have a girlfriend". And it was really random but it really got me thinking. It's my spring break and I'm 100% enjoying reading part of my books for class, sleeping all day and staying up all night playing video games, and I know I couldnt do that with a girl attached.
Another thing that made me realize this is the fact my roommate is off in Australia enjoying his time with his family on vacation and I fucking love the solidarity. No one to bug me during games, no one to ask me to check papers, no one asking for money for bills. Just me.
So the reason I'm writing this blog is because I'm actually happy. Happy with classes, happy with my friends, and now happy I get to enjoy a week to myself, but most of all happy with the way my life is right now. Yet, even though I said I don't want a girlfriend because I want to just live for me right now. This girl keeps running across my mind and I don't know why.
I mean it's not like she's treated me really well, standing me up a couple times but then inviting me to do things another day, completely ignoring texts but then acting like nothing happened the next day and suggesting we hang out. And this is where I pose the question...
Am I attracted to the girl because I'm finally happy and now she's the forbidden fruit because she does that stupid shit? I'm just confused because I'm actually happy with the way my life is going right now and pursuing this is kind of a dumb risk in my opinion.
Or is it the fact that I'm just happy to have the option available to me? That I can either pursue this girl and be happy doing that, or pursue my own agenda and be just as happy? Just a really weird situation to be in because normally when i go for a girl I'm totally in that mindset of winning her over but with her I don't know if I give a shit
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Part 2 : LoL
the other say I sat down and downloaded LoL and decided to play. I didn't like it too much the first time I played it a couple months back but thought I would give it another chance. The game is actually quite fun and is a welcome change of pace to BW. I've been playing so much BW lately because of CLs, GC, ISL and C league that it's become kind of like a job. Being able to sit down and just casually play a game with friends is fucking awesome. No expectation just go into a game and play and don't care if I lose. No rage because I don't care. And this make me happy, unlike BW at the moment which is frustrating me beyond my limits. I didn't play very much BW for like 3-4 months and now I'm about C-/C level instead of high C+ like I was before.
Btw My account on LoL is:
dMNoise
and I main with Ashe. I'm only like level 7 but I feel I'm ok with the mechanics of the game to say I'm actually pretty decent at it for not playing that much. So if you want to play just add me =)
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Part 3: My Job
So I normally don't work during the school year and just go back during breaks and summer. I really like my job, I love the people I work with and they do a lot to accommodate my schedule for school. I work at a factory that produces fresh and frozen food stuffs like Potato salad, pasta salad, soups, tuna salads, and different desserts. And much to my surprise, about a week ago I get a call from them asking if I want to come back this summer.
Normally I have to make the calls to get in and also during last summer they were hoping I was finished with school so they could bump me to manager. I know it's not likely but this kinda makes me feel good about my chances of getting that position when i go back this summer since they open a second shift over the summer because of the higher production. They also said they plan on hiring upward of 80 new employees to fill spaces in a new part of the plant so it also has me excited that i may be managing this new area.
Haha I know it's just a factory job, but it's a place that I've worked hard at and have built a good reputation for myself there. And that's what has me happy and excited. I know plenty of things I've worked my ass off for and have come out with shit in the end but this is actually turning out to be a good thing.
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Part 4: Some Good Music
Thanks for reading and listening =)
