EPT![[image loading]](http://www.iccup.com/upload/images/gallery/10884/n90915.jpg)
I would like to open this blog with a short statement: I am writing this under the influence of alcohol and a massive wave of estrogen pulsing through my body.
Uh, if you want to know what I did to practice for my CRTL match, read this, but I recommend you don't.
+ Show Spoiler +
Okay, where do I begin? Let's start with a boring story. Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom of unicorns and magic, there was a little unicorn named Serenity. Then a bunch of British jerks came out of fucking nowhere and pooped on her for no reason, except for the fact that they were idiots. Therefore, Serenity (who is a metaphor for me) took it upon herself to exact vengeance seven-fold on them and do the most terrible thing imaginable: make them look stupid on the internet.
That was literally how I practiced for my C-Rank League Clan league match. I was playing some bloody wanker from da UK, and he said he was D+. So I was like "Okay, I'll mess with him and do an Ultralisk rush." The build order for the Ultralisk Rush is simple:
12 hatch
11 pool
13 hatch
16 gas
100 gas - Lair
Lair half-finished - Evo chamber + gas
Lair finishes - Get +1 carapace + queen's nest + zergling speed + whatever else you want
Queen's nest finishes - Lair > Hive
Hive finishes - Ultralisk Cavern + Adrenaline Glands (Crack)
Ultralisk Cavern finishes - Start making Ultralisks
Ultralisks finish - Win
There are a few counters that a Terran player can do to counter-act this build:
1. Make a lot of infantry
2. Lay a lot of mines
3. Not suck
So my little Terran friend went for the good ol' "Just make a ton of barracks because that's what's cool these days" build and busted through my line of Sunken Colonies. Laugh-out-louds all around, and beer for everyone, right? Wrong. Instead of the ordeal being a simple case of "Oops, that was silly." my terranble (a mix terran and terrible) friend proceeded to lecture me on how to play Zerg when he was clearly very double-plus ungood.
Being an avid StarCraft player for a few years now, I knew my way around the swarm, and proceeded to engage this vivacious villain in a rematch that was mired in bad manners, and slathered with contempt. Well, as luck would have it, I won handedly, which caused the losing player to insult me further, and call upon a posse of friends to angrily pound on me (verbally, not like Chris Brown) via any avenue possible, i.e., in obs mode, whispers, in my stream chat.
So I wasted more time with them, and after being defeated a couple more times after promising me that I would surely fall to him these times, he had to say "gg" and add "fat bitch" before leaving.
That was literally how I practiced for my C-Rank League Clan league match. I was playing some bloody wanker from da UK, and he said he was D+. So I was like "Okay, I'll mess with him and do an Ultralisk rush." The build order for the Ultralisk Rush is simple:
12 hatch
11 pool
13 hatch
16 gas
100 gas - Lair
Lair half-finished - Evo chamber + gas
Lair finishes - Get +1 carapace + queen's nest + zergling speed + whatever else you want
Queen's nest finishes - Lair > Hive
Hive finishes - Ultralisk Cavern + Adrenaline Glands (Crack)
Ultralisk Cavern finishes - Start making Ultralisks
Ultralisks finish - Win
There are a few counters that a Terran player can do to counter-act this build:
1. Make a lot of infantry
2. Lay a lot of mines
3. Not suck
So my little Terran friend went for the good ol' "Just make a ton of barracks because that's what's cool these days" build and busted through my line of Sunken Colonies. Laugh-out-louds all around, and beer for everyone, right? Wrong. Instead of the ordeal being a simple case of "Oops, that was silly." my terranble (a mix terran and terrible) friend proceeded to lecture me on how to play Zerg when he was clearly very double-plus ungood.
Being an avid StarCraft player for a few years now, I knew my way around the swarm, and proceeded to engage this vivacious villain in a rematch that was mired in bad manners, and slathered with contempt. Well, as luck would have it, I won handedly, which caused the losing player to insult me further, and call upon a posse of friends to angrily pound on me (verbally, not like Chris Brown) via any avenue possible, i.e., in obs mode, whispers, in my stream chat.
So I wasted more time with them, and after being defeated a couple more times after promising me that I would surely fall to him these times, he had to say "gg" and add "fat bitch" before leaving.
Okay, so after a week of sparse preparation, it's showtime. The audience is murmuring, and the theater lights go dim. There are knots and butterflies in my stomach. I soon learn that those butterflies are actually an upset stomach from a certain period of each month when the miracle of reproduction decides to rear it's ugly head and does... things... to me. I understand that some people may be squeamish, and that children under the age of 18 visit Teamliquid, so I will go easy on the details, and simply say that things got a little bit messy, and that's all I'm going to bloody say, period.
This advent simply happened to strike in full force on the opening day of the C-Rank Teamleague, and this was compounded with the fact that my brother learned a fun new fact today: if you talk into a fan, you sound like a robot. And dear God... Skype messages... I was about ready to just pause the game and turn off Skype. It was a classic case of Murphy's Law being applied, and to make a longer story short, I was a bit put off by it. I couldn't concentrate at all, and had to take off my headphones a few times to say, "Please, please be quiet. I need to concentrate." and I'm not kidding. Being the loving, supportive sister that I am, I wanted to scream "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP." but I refrained from doing so. Then he started like... messing with my books. My brother (God bless him) decided to start just taking books out and then ramming them back into the bookcase haphazardly. That's okay. I can be anal about my books at times, but I understand that he is mildly autistic, and likes to look through everything. BUT WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN DURING AN IMPORTANT GAME!?
So I lost. I was simply too distracted, and was stumbling over myself just to barely play.
It was embarrassing. I was hurt, I was angry, and I was depressed. After going over to my bookcase to fix up my books, I slumped over onto the floor and just lay there for awhile, trying to calm down and figure out what just happened and what to do next. Really, I couldn't even think for a few minutes, so I just took my glasses off and put my hands over my eyes. I thought I was going to start sobbing, but I didn't. I took some deep breaths before opening my eyes, and laying there, leaning against a chair for a little while. I knew my friends would want to know what happened, and I would have to explain that I lost. Unfortunately though, everyone has their stupid little excuses as to why they lost, but I seriously under-performed, especially given how much practice I had put into playing lately. What made it worse was that everyone else on my team won their matches, making me stick out as the sole loser.
So, my emotions running through my head are like a mix of "I want to go back online and start practicing", "God, I am such a loser for playing so much of a computer game and then still losing.", "Don't worry, it's all just for fun anyway.", "Fuck my life.", "It's okay, you'll go on to play and win lots more stuff.", "You're never going to win anything, ever.", "You're learning an important life lesson: never give up! Keep going!", "You're learning an important life lesson: no matter how hard you try, you will fail.", "I just want to eat ice cream right now.", "Why do I put myself through all of this!?", and a similar rollercoaster of up-and-down emotions and thoughts as the day goes on.
I got to eat some ice cream though. mmmmm.
