EPTI want to share with you another of my medical tales.
I was attending my medical consult today. The last patient of the day was a 9 years old girl who came with her mother, who was a lady about 30 years old.
-So what brings you to my consult?
-Well, my daughter has been having these weird episodes of blackouts and spasms back home for the last month, and it has me so worried. I think it might be epilepsy, so I brought her right away...
-Well, my daughter has been having these weird episodes of blackouts and spasms back home for the last month, and it has me so worried. I think it might be epilepsy, so I brought her right away...
So I calm the mom down, and begin taking up the little girl's medical history. Remarkabely healthy, all her vaccinations up to date, no family history of epilepsy, nothing. Then I asked a few more questions regarding the so-called spasms, while the little girl payed a lot of attention to what her mother and I were talking about, and randomly smiling.
-Tell me a little more about those spasms she has... Any specific thing that detonates them? How many times a day/week does she have them? Does she fully recover consciousness after the black-outs you describe or is she a little sleepy and disoriented afterwards? Does she lose control of her sphincters?
-Well... It always happens like this. She likes to sit on the arm of this big couch we have on our living room, like riding it, so she begins rocking back and forth and after a while she turns red, sweaty and suddenly she begins grunting and has these spasms, then blacks out for a few seconds in the couch... And no, she does not lose control of her sphincters...
-Well... It always happens like this. She likes to sit on the arm of this big couch we have on our living room, like riding it, so she begins rocking back and forth and after a while she turns red, sweaty and suddenly she begins grunting and has these spasms, then blacks out for a few seconds in the couch... And no, she does not lose control of her sphincters...
... I begun looking at the mother in disbelief. What was going on was so obvious!! I put on my best poker-face, gather all my power to not burst into laughter (the whole situation was so damn funny) and ask the little girl:
-So how do you feel, honey? Have you felt ill the last few days?
-No mister Doctor, I feel wonderful! But I feel so much better after playing horsie in the couch! It feels so good I want to do it again and again! I don't want mommy to be worried, I feel fine!....
-No mister Doctor, I feel wonderful! But I feel so much better after playing horsie in the couch! It feels so good I want to do it again and again! I don't want mommy to be worried, I feel fine!....
Her mother looks at her with her mouth gaping open... Then looks at me.
You can imagine the rest of the chatter. I had to break her still-in-denial-and-so-damn-naive mother the news... Still with my best poker face.
Her little girl had discovered the big O'.
God, was that awkward... I don't want that to ever happen again.
