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Hey guys.
As the title clearly says.........jk, my title is pretty hard to tell what is supposed to mean. What I am going to tell about shortly is that in my life, I feel there is NO GREY ZONE. It's black or it's white. Whenever I take a decision about doing anything in my life, it is even, you do it fully, alot and get really good at it. If not, don't do it at all because it is a waste of time. And this makes me feel like a failure lots of times. I don't know if anybody else feels like this, there must be. For instance in school, don't give a shit about german - D. Give a whole lot of shit for Chemistry, Maths and Physics - A's all the way. (Not brágging) The same can be applied to my hobbies, mostly gaming. Right now I have reached a point where I am pretty good at DotA (Have been playong alot for years now), but I feel if I keep playing as I do now, not mega serious, I am wasting my time. But if I take it even more serious, I would be devastated if I didn't get really really good and play for good clans.
So right now I am like: Do I continue and more serious? Or do I stop completely and spend my time on another, maybe more sensible way? This really occupy's my mind alot.
I would really wish my brain would stop being such a dick and just let me chillout sometimes...
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Video games are, in essence, a time-waster. Don't feel like you need to strive to be the very best in DotA; if you're having fun, that's all you need. Of course, real-life responsibilities need to be handled differently from diversions like video games, but I think you need to be the one to decide how you handle your studies and such, not TeamLiquid.
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Chemistry, math and physics seems like a lot better long term choice than dota.
They have a great physics program in Lund for example! 
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you sound like aperson that doesnt have problem focusing on one subject... thats a pretty good quality if you ask me  ...
with that in mind, i think you shoulkd approach the porblem from another side.
whats your goal? Dota example, if you goal is to have fun, then being really good, average or bad, doesnt make an impact on you achieving that goal (that happens to me at least, i have same fun playing and losing, than playing a winning).
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 22 2012 02:08 Inzek wrote:you sound like aperson that doesnt have problem focusing on one subject... thats a pretty good quality if you ask me ... with that in mind, i think you shoulkd approach the porblem from another side. whats your goal? Dota example, if you goal is to have fun, then being really good, average or bad, doesnt make an impact on you achieving that goal (that happens to me at least, i have same fun playing and losing, than playing a winning).
+1 I think this is pretty insightful. It's not a matter of giving a shit or what you're good at, otherwise, you might as well be a pre-programmed robot, rather, what is important to you, what do you want?
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To the left of this blog under sports and games I saw "New Pokemon Games: Black and White"
I find this coincidence amusing.
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On February 22 2012 01:35 Aeres wrote:
Video games are, in essence, a time-waster. Don't feel like you need to strive to be the very best in DotA; if you're having fun, that's all you need. Of course, real-life responsibilities need to be handled differently from diversions like video games, but I think you need to be the one to decide how you handle your studies and such, not TeamLiquid.
Everything is essentially a waste, and from an objective, realist perspective the man who spent his life playing video games and the man who worked a 9-5 job are both the same in the end; dead.
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Math, chemistry and german ftw! But seriously, you are a person, fucking chose by yourself. You're not in a stage of life where most decisions really matter, thats why you don't really have any "grey" options, actually I'd go as far as to say there isn't any really white option aswell, just a lot of black ones.
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On February 22 2012 01:27 Josh-FiveO wrote:
Hey guys.
As the title clearly says.........jk, my title is pretty hard to tell what is supposed to mean. What I am going to tell about shortly is that in my life, I feel there is NO GREY ZONE. It's black or it's white. Whenever I take a decision about doing anything in my life, it is even, you do it fully, alot and get really good at it. If not, don't do it at all because it is a waste of time. And this makes me feel like a failure lots of times. I don't know if anybody else feels like this, there must be. For instance in school, don't give a shit about german - D. Give a whole lot of shit for Chemistry, Maths and Physics - A's all the way. (Not brágging) The same can be applied to my hobbies, mostly gaming. Right now I have reached a point where I am pretty good at DotA (Have been playong alot for years now), but I feel if I keep playing as I do now, not mega serious, I am wasting my time. But if I take it even more serious, I would be devastated if I didn't get really really good and play for good clans.
So right now I am like: Do I continue and more serious? Or do I stop completely and spend my time on another, maybe more sensible way? This really occupy's my mind alot.
I would really wish my brain would stop being such a dick and just let me chillout sometimes...
It’s variance. For a week, stop playing DotA altogether and spend that time doing something else that you consider ‘sensible’ or productive. The next week, play DotA more seriously than you have before. Then evaluate which one gave you a better sense of accomplishment.
I had a similar dilemma to you when I was in high school; my game of choice being Starcraft: Brood War. I decided to do the play-starcraft-seriously route, and I got pretty good but not amazing. I’ve never regretted it. (that being said, I now design video games for a living – I might be a bit biased.)
The key is to sample both to a larger extreme than you have so far. You’ll figure out what gives you a better sense of accomplishment. (though if someone had told me to stop playing Starcraft for a week way back then, there’s no way I would have had the willpower to follow through)
Good luck
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On February 22 2012 03:26 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On February 22 2012 01:35 Aeres wrote:
Video games are, in essence, a time-waster. Don't feel like you need to strive to be the very best in DotA; if you're having fun, that's all you need. Of course, real-life responsibilities need to be handled differently from diversions like video games, but I think you need to be the one to decide how you handle your studies and such, not TeamLiquid. Everything is essentially a waste, and from an objective, realist perspective the man who spent his life playing video games and the man who worked a 9-5 job are both the same in the end; dead.
How insightful.
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I would really wish my brain would stop being such a dick and just let me chillout sometimes.
You're experiencing anxiety based on not wanting waste any time is what I gather from your OP. That much I think you know. However, I don't like that you're defining yourself as someone who needs to take everything black or white with no grey areas. I understand not wanting to do things in a half assed way and needing to be proud of how you've spent your time, but I don't understand why spending a little time on a hobby that makes you feel happy is a waste of time. I don't understand why spending a lot of time on a hobby would be better. There is an ideal amount of time to spend on things of little consequence such as video games, and that ideal amount of time is what makes you relaxed enough that you can return your other tasks with energy, or how much you get out of a game in terms of life skills (some argue many skills translate in certain games).
It's comparable with playing Chess as a hobby. Do you need to be a grandmaster to get anything out of it? I don't think so. Do you want to play enough that you attain a certain level of skill and sense of accomplishment? Probably. But such skill is relative. Chess has the advantage of time, it will be around until you're dead and you will always have people to test your skills against. DOTA has the disadvantage of decay, your skills in it will become meaningless later in life. If that matters to you, why not try playing a musical instrument which satisfies not just a selfish need to kill time, but will be useful in entertaining and impressing others later in life? DOTA is something where, if you're the type of person anxious about how he spends his time, I question how comfortable you will be with it. If you can't look back on a game like others and say "I'm happy I spent my time this way because I met people and had fun and tested my intelligence," then yes, I think another hobby will be better for you. But work on the black and white thing, because it's not good to see things in life as absolutes.
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Chef, I'm curious...
Are you a chef?
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He's actually Chef from South Park
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On February 22 2012 04:12 Chef wrote:Show nested quote +I would really wish my brain would stop being such a dick and just let me chillout sometimes. You're experiencing anxiety based on not wanting waste any time is what I gather from your OP. That much I think you know. However, I don't like that you're defining yourself as someone who needs to take everything black or white with no grey areas. I understand not wanting to do things in a half assed way and needing to be proud of how you've spent your time, but I don't understand why spending a little time on a hobby that makes you feel happy is a waste of time. I don't understand why spending a lot of time on a hobby would be better. There is an ideal amount of time to spend on things of little consequence such as video games, and that ideal amount of time is what makes you relaxed enough that you can return your other tasks with energy, or how much you get out of a game in terms of life skills (some argue many skills translate in certain games). It's comparable with playing Chess as a hobby. Do you need to be a grandmaster to get anything out of it? I don't think so. Do you want to play enough that you attain a certain level of skill and sense of accomplishment? Probably. But such skill is relative. Chess has the advantage of time, it will be around until you're dead and you will always have people to test your skills against. DOTA has the disadvantage of decay, your skills in it will become meaningless later in life. If that matters to you, why not try playing a musical instrument which satisfies not just a selfish need to kill time, but will be useful in entertaining and impressing others later in life? DOTA is something where, if you're the type of person anxious about how he spends his time, I question how comfortable you will be with it. If you can't look back on a game like others and say "I'm happy I spent my time this way because I met people and had fun and tested my intelligence," then yes, I think another hobby will be better for you. But work on the black and white thing, because it's not good to see things in life as absolutes.
i like this understanding.I, myself, who suffers from anxiety, lose sight of this on a weekly basis.
I usually fall into a black and white philosophy and go into a rut and ,basically, don't get anything accomplished.
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EPT
