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On February 05 2012 00:53 Chef wrote:
Favour has more than one meaning. It can mean something you do out of good will, or it can mean something closer to 'favourite' in which you choose someone ahead of others. So money in exchange for sexual favours means you've bought the favour of her sexual acts... which in many cultures are supposed to be devoted to someone special, hence, favour.
Ah I see
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My friend dated a stripper (she started stripping after they started dating). Let's just say he became an alcoholic.
Unless it's just a "for fun" kind of relationship where you don't really care about her, dating a stripper where in our society your partner is supposed to be yours and yours only sexually is going to be stressful.
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Assuming she's not drug addicted and std ridden as the stereo type paints. I'd say do it but understand that you have to know yourself well, you can't be insecure. you have to be okay with her making more money than you no matter how hard you work, you have to not let your jealousy punish her for things she hasn't done, and you have to really control your tongue when you're angry. It takes a big man; gotta be open minded/relaxed/down to earth.
edit: and you have to be able to deal with people judging/thinking less of you both based on her profession.
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On February 05 2012 01:38 AcrossFiveJulys wrote:
My friend dated a stripper (she started stripping after they started dating). Let's just say he became an alcoholic.
Unless it's just a "for fun" kind of relationship where you don't really care about her, dating a stripper where in our society your partner is supposed to be yours and yours only sexually is going to be stressful.
Why do you and other people in this thread assume that being a stripper == having sex with others? It's up to the girl to decide whether she wants to sleep with her customers or not. What one should say the concern is, is what if someone offers her $1,000 for sex or some really high number - would she do it despite being in a relationship with you? That would be the part that'd make me uneasy.
BUT, if you have enough trust and the relationship is solid, why not? There's nothing wrong with stripping, and the social norm of stripping being a frowned upon profession is w/e. As long as the person is doing stripping as a part time gig for whatever reason and not as a permanent thing, I'd be ok.
Stripping is often used as a means to an end for women.
EDIT:
A more interesting question is, would you date a porn actress.
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A lot of types of girls can become strippers. My ex-girlfriend was a stripper, although she already finished doing it by the time we met. Hard to say how I would have felt if she was still active, but suffice to say most girls don't "enjoy" stripping by any means, they just do it for the money like any other job. She was also having sex with some clients, but again, that's a monetary decision and one I assume she could choose not to make if she were in a committed relationship.
I really don't think you can define a person by what they do for a living. Obviously a certain type of girl (trashy, drug addicted) is drawn to that lifestyle but it's not always the case. Many strippers are young moms or college students trying to pay the bills. My ex in particular is probably the most intelligent girl I've ever dated and has never done drugs in her life. If you are made jealous by your girlfriend flashing her tits, don't date a stripper. Otherwise, judge her by the rest of herself and not by her occupation.
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I would not be able to do it. Its not about the job she is doing but it is about the people that she has to deal with when she is doing her job. One of my highschool friends started stripping and the people she told me about all sounded awful. Most of the other girls were addicted to hard drugs and would not dance unless under the influence, these drugs were encouraged and supplied by the bouncers and the manager was everything you would expect a strip club manager to be, a greasy cheat that got involved with some of the girls personal life. I would not be able to deal with worrying about all those types of people.
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Lol, no chance. I don't share. As a casual thing, yeah the sex would be amazing and it'd be exciting, so I'd do it for a bit, but when it comes to love, my relationships are a pretty closed club.
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I personally don't think I could do it. Feminists will hate me for this but I like the whole idea of lovers belonging solely to each other. To spend the night with a girl I love and then have her go off to work and show off her body to anyone with a bit of cash in their hands just doesn't sit right with me and in the end I think it'd be too much for me to handle.
But that doesn't mean that if you're comfortable with it you shouldn't do it.
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On February 05 2012 01:23 Liquid`Zephyr wrote:
you live in lv right? if she works at rhino yes. treasures maybe. sapphires or any other place probably never
Zephyr seems to know whats up. Snap call for any girl working at Rhino :D
I honestly wouldn't have a problem with it. Like Xeris said a lot more interesting question would be dating a porn actress... pretty sure like 90+% would say no.
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I can't imagine a stripper actually liking me, but I guess I think lowly of them, and I assume that they would think lowly of me for it. So no, I wouldn't date a stripper - it couldn't possibly be a viable relationship because I'm a judgmental asshat.
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On February 05 2012 02:39 Djzapz wrote:
I can't imagine a stripper actually liking me, but I guess I think lowly of them, and I assume that they would think lowly of me for it. So no, I wouldn't date a stripper - it couldn't possibly be a viable relationship because I'm a judgmental asshat.
Honesty ftw
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I could, even if it was very serious, the things is that work stays at work and home is home. I wouldn't go to the stripper bar to find a girlfriend, but i could date one. There are some things that i can't agree with, like i could date someone who smokes weed, but if they are junkie or start harder drugs, then no i couldn't date them, same thing with a porn star or a prostitute, its just something that violates a love agreement between them. If its fake, if she is just dancing to turn them on and grind some, idgaf, thats not sex, its not kissing, its not something that i would feel violated by.
Its mostly what you feel violated by, i wouldn't but some people would. The main thing is if the girl has her act together and her life on track, if she is doing it to do it, yeah she is a bit slutty but if she has life goals that this quick cash influx allows her to achieve, then fuck yeah do it. If its to pay for college, fuck yeah do it. If its to do it and thats all she wants to do and find a sugar daddy to pay her way afterwards, no i don't want that.
Pre-set rule ideas are stupid imo because every girl is different and humans past certain amounts of time have difficult times staying monogomous, imho its best if you aren't serious until you feel like you should be and a stripper doesn't violate that idea unless they do something that isn't called for, like having sex or kissing another dude.
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Im not sure if this has been mentioned but ALOT of strippers also get into escorting on the side as a means to make a shit ton of money. I personally would feel hesitant dating a stripper not knowing how many other guys she has fucked in her lifetime, and the possibility of fucking one while we are still together. I mean, if someone offers her $2000 for a night of sex, id be worried she wouldnt turn down the offer.
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Veigars can't beat bruisers. Sure why not 
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I could. As long as she knows what I'm comfortable with and sticks to that.
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On February 05 2012 00:40 Smoot wrote:Show nested quote +On February 05 2012 00:27 EdSlyB wrote:On February 04 2012 23:22 Smoot wrote:
When you are looking for a life-long partner what do you want their morals to be?
A) Someone who previously offered sexual favors for a price. (definition of favors being visual in this case)
B) Someone who believes that to be morally wrong and keeps her sexual life private.
Sure, the money is tempting. Get naked and make a ridiculous amount of cash for dancing, but later when that person is looking for someone of quality in marriage (ie: life-long partner), it would be hard to find a morally upstanding person to share your life with because they would not share those morals. (obvious from lifestyle)
I could never be with someone who extorts themselves in any fashion for money. I have certain pre-set rules in a relationship. You don't do things that would bother you if your partner did them. IE: Flirting, cheating, or dancing naked in front of the other sex....
Being friends is just fine. I have had a few female friends who stripped, and plenty of others who openly did things that I am completely against, but for a relationship I have a higher standard.
But that is just my opinion.
*Post note: I would never date an actress either for the same reasons. Fake or not, how would you feel if your GF / BF is in a sex scene with someone else? She isn't doing favors. She is doing Adult Entertainment. And if you ask why is she doing it you'll see it is because there many adults that want that kind of entertainment. There is a market for that and if people are willing to do it there will be people willing to pay for it. Work, man. That's only work. Also you are doing alot of assumptions in your argument. I know it's your own opinion and nobody as the right to say that it's right or wrong because there is not right or wrong. But you should try to broad and open your mind a little more. Try to see things from other perspectives. Cheers To have an open mind about it yes, I understand some people do it for work. Some people think its ok, that is fine. I have a wife and a daughter. My wife would not be ok with me dancing naked for money, nor would I be ok with her doing it. I would not be ok with my daughter stripping for money either. I understand that some people do it and that is their choice. But having an open mind does not equal thinking it is an acceptable behavior / form of work. This is where we differ though.... You say "there is no right or wrong" but I believe there is Right and Wrong. It is really hard for me to understand how anyone could be in a serious committed relationship with someone who gives other men lap dances for a living. Not to mention, it is a sexual favor. Paying a naked woman to dance for me, or rub up on me while I sit in a booth is paying for a sexual favor.
We don't differ. I'll explain it better.
There about 7 billion 'rights' and 7 billion 'wrongs'. Each individual has is own moral and ethic code that defines the right or wrong. So your definition of right and wrong is good according to yourself. But the same definition will not be that good according to person that sits right beside you at the waiting room of your dentist, for example.
When I said to open your mind I was talking about trying to see things from the people perspective because their definition of right or wrong will most certainly be slightly (or very) diferent of yours. Of course there is a vast number of variants that can make a person deviate from their standard 'right' and 'wrong'. That's life and that's the human being.
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I would date a stripper, but also get a job to help her out financially. I'm sure stripping nets her a good income, but does she want to do it for the rest of her life?
Maybe, but then why get a university degree? You ever ask her why she's stripping?
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The difference between an actor and a stripper is perception. Your friends and family see it differently, your partner, her friends and family see it differently and the customers sure as hell see it differently.
It's great that she sees it as a service like any other and doesn't find it demeaning. But she (and anyone she dates) still has to deal with the people who do.
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http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast/episodes/episode_234_-_jillian_lauren
"Author Jillian Lauren happens to be Marc’s neighbor. Amazingly, that’s not the most harrowing thing she’s ever been through. She discusses the details of her memoir, in which she became a highly paid escort and a concubine in the Prince of Brunei’s harem, as well as her new novel and her life since becoming a mom. "
a worthwhile listen if you like podcasts and are interested in the dating strippers topic
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On February 05 2012 02:17 Wafflelisk wrote:
Lol, no chance. I don't share. As a casual thing, yeah the sex would be amazing and it'd be exciting, so I'd do it for a bit, but when it comes to love, my relationships are a pretty closed club.
Agreed.
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EPT
