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Sweden33723 Posts
On February 04 2012 23:22 Smoot wrote:
When you are looking for a life-long partner what do you want their morals to be?
A) Someone who previously offered sexual favors for a price. (definition of favors being visual in this case)
B) Someone who believes that to be morally wrong and keeps her sexual life private.
Sure, the money is tempting. Get naked and make a ridiculous amount of cash for dancing, but later when that person is looking for someone of quality in marriage (ie: life-long partner), it would be hard to find a morally upstanding person to share your life with because they would not share those morals. (obvious from lifestyle)
I could never be with someone who extorts themselves in any fashion for money. I have certain pre-set rules in a relationship. You don't do things that would bother you if your partner did them. IE: Flirting, cheating, or dancing naked in front of the other sex....
Being friends is just fine. I have had a few female friends who stripped, and plenty of others who openly did things that I am completely against, but for a relationship I have a higher standard.
But that is just my opinion.
*Post note: I would never date an actress either for the same reasons. Fake or not, how would you feel if your GF / BF is in a sex scene with someone else?
All I see is this assumption that it is immoral with nothing backing it up --- just dont get it. I can see reasons against it, like being uncomfortable, but meh - morality? Dont see whats wrong. She is doing no harm.
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I would date her but it would still make me sort of uneasy.
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No i wouldn't date a stripper because the majority of them have daddy issues, and thats certainly not something i need to put up with...
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On February 04 2012 23:42 Liquid`Jinro wrote:Show nested quote +On February 04 2012 23:22 Smoot wrote:
When you are looking for a life-long partner what do you want their morals to be?
A) Someone who previously offered sexual favors for a price. (definition of favors being visual in this case)
B) Someone who believes that to be morally wrong and keeps her sexual life private.
Sure, the money is tempting. Get naked and make a ridiculous amount of cash for dancing, but later when that person is looking for someone of quality in marriage (ie: life-long partner), it would be hard to find a morally upstanding person to share your life with because they would not share those morals. (obvious from lifestyle)
I could never be with someone who extorts themselves in any fashion for money. I have certain pre-set rules in a relationship. You don't do things that would bother you if your partner did them. IE: Flirting, cheating, or dancing naked in front of the other sex....
Being friends is just fine. I have had a few female friends who stripped, and plenty of others who openly did things that I am completely against, but for a relationship I have a higher standard.
But that is just my opinion.
*Post note: I would never date an actress either for the same reasons. Fake or not, how would you feel if your GF / BF is in a sex scene with someone else? All I see is this assumption that it is immoral with nothing backing it up --- just dont get it. I can see reasons against it, like being uncomfortable, but meh - morality? Dont see whats wrong. She is doing no harm.
I'm coming from the position that it is immoral to cheat on your spouse. Depending on who you are, dancing naked in front of the opposite sex can be viewed as a form of cheating.
As for it being truly immoral, I guess it depends on the current social norms.
EDIT EDIT: I guess I could replace 'morals' with 'values'. Does that make more sense?
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United States22883 Posts
On February 04 2012 23:45 ReachTheSky wrote:
No i wouldn't date a stripper because the majority of them have daddy issues, and thats certainly not something i need to put up with...
You're ruling out a lot more people than just strippers, then.
And I don't think being paid to dance naked in front of someone is anywhere close to cheating. Especially because in this case, she had her job before you came along. You're the adjustment to her life, not the job.
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Personally, I'd say that her motivations for stripping are a big factor. If she's taking classes and having a social life in the evenings by stripping at night, I could see a relationship working out. If she just wants to strip for the hell of it though, it doesn't seem as likely that a relationship could last a long time well. Just my 2 cents though...
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I'm too jealous to date a stripper.
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I mean when you see some of the things strippers do imo, i'm just not comfortable knowing my gf is giving guys lap dances you know? I'm not really the jealous type but i would rather my girlfriend not be out there showing their titties and ass for everyone else to see. Its not a matter of trust, its just i wouldn't feel comfortable.
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The real question is why would you not date a stripper?
It's only a profession. If you look at the world there is an huge number of occupations that people can do. And many of them, must be done by someone even if it is a job that nobody wants to do, right? I bet that most people that work as garbadge collectors would like to do another thing but someone has to collect garbadge. It's an honest job that puts food in the table and pays bills.
If your friend is working in adult entertainment it is only because there are people willing to pay for it. It's also an honest job that pays bills. Nothing more, nothing less. If she's a good company and you enjoy her presence then I see no reason for you don't date her. Go for it.
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I would date a stripper, but not a pornstar. There's a line, and she hasn't crossed it imo.
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On February 04 2012 23:22 Smoot wrote:
When you are looking for a life-long partner what do you want their morals to be?
A) Someone who previously offered sexual favors for a price. (definition of favors being visual in this case)
B) Someone who believes that to be morally wrong and keeps her sexual life private.
Sure, the money is tempting. Get naked and make a ridiculous amount of cash for dancing, but later when that person is looking for someone of quality in marriage (ie: life-long partner), it would be hard to find a morally upstanding person to share your life with because they would not share those morals. (obvious from lifestyle)
I could never be with someone who extorts themselves in any fashion for money. I have certain pre-set rules in a relationship. You don't do things that would bother you if your partner did them. IE: Flirting, cheating, or dancing naked in front of the other sex....
Being friends is just fine. I have had a few female friends who stripped, and plenty of others who openly did things that I am completely against, but for a relationship I have a higher standard.
But that is just my opinion.
*Post note: I would never date an actress either for the same reasons. Fake or not, how would you feel if your GF / BF is in a sex scene with someone else?
She isn't doing favors. She is doing Adult Entertainment. And if you ask why is she doing it you'll see it is because there many adults that want that kind of entertainment. There is a market for that and if people are willing to do it there will be people willing to pay for it. Work, man. That's only work.
Also you are doing alot of assumptions in your argument. I know it's your own opinion and nobody as the right to say that it's right or wrong because there is not right or wrong. But you should try to broad and open your mind a little more. Try to see things from other perspectives.
Cheers
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Hell no I wouldn't date a stripper. It's not something I can respect, at all. She's on the same level as a prostitute for me. I know that's mean, but that's how I view strippers.
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If she's the type of person you describe, then yes, I could date a stripper. Easily.
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On February 05 2012 00:27 EdSlyB wrote:Show nested quote +On February 04 2012 23:22 Smoot wrote:
When you are looking for a life-long partner what do you want their morals to be?
A) Someone who previously offered sexual favors for a price. (definition of favors being visual in this case)
B) Someone who believes that to be morally wrong and keeps her sexual life private.
Sure, the money is tempting. Get naked and make a ridiculous amount of cash for dancing, but later when that person is looking for someone of quality in marriage (ie: life-long partner), it would be hard to find a morally upstanding person to share your life with because they would not share those morals. (obvious from lifestyle)
I could never be with someone who extorts themselves in any fashion for money. I have certain pre-set rules in a relationship. You don't do things that would bother you if your partner did them. IE: Flirting, cheating, or dancing naked in front of the other sex....
Being friends is just fine. I have had a few female friends who stripped, and plenty of others who openly did things that I am completely against, but for a relationship I have a higher standard.
But that is just my opinion.
*Post note: I would never date an actress either for the same reasons. Fake or not, how would you feel if your GF / BF is in a sex scene with someone else? She isn't doing favors. She is doing Adult Entertainment. And if you ask why is she doing it you'll see it is because there many adults that want that kind of entertainment. There is a market for that and if people are willing to do it there will be people willing to pay for it. Work, man. That's only work. Also you are doing alot of assumptions in your argument. I know it's your own opinion and nobody as the right to say that it's right or wrong because there is not right or wrong. But you should try to broad and open your mind a little more. Try to see things from other perspectives. Cheers
To have an open mind about it yes, I understand some people do it for work. Some people think its ok, that is fine. I have a wife and a daughter. My wife would not be ok with me dancing naked for money, nor would I be ok with her doing it.
I would not be ok with my daughter stripping for money either. I understand that some people do it and that is their choice. But having an open mind does not equal thinking it is an acceptable behavior / form of work.
This is where we differ though.... You say "there is no right or wrong" but I believe there is Right and Wrong.
It is really hard for me to understand how anyone could be in a serious committed relationship with someone who gives other men lap dances for a living. Not to mention, it is a sexual favor. Paying a naked woman to dance for me, or rub up on me while I sit in a booth is paying for a sexual favor.
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How can something be a favor if you paid for it?
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On February 05 2012 00:08 EdSlyB wrote:
The real question is why would you not date a stripper?
It's only a profession. If you look at the world there is an huge number of occupations that people can do. And many of them, must be done by someone even if it is a job that nobody wants to do, right? I bet that most people that work as garbadge collectors would like to do another thing but someone has to collect garbadge. It's an honest job that puts food in the table and pays bills.
If your friend is working in adult entertainment it is only because there are people willing to pay for it. It's also an honest job that pays bills. Nothing more, nothing less. If she's a good company and you enjoy her presence then I see no reason for you don't date her. Go for it.
It's a very temporary profession. Everybody has to work a shit job at some point, but I'm not seeing stripping as the greatest resume booster for more intellectual pursuits later. I'm also getting too old for 18-19 year olds, and don't want to be involved with someone stripping into their 20s. Those are all good reasons not to date a stripper that don't have anything to do with morals. Here's the clincher tho, which you can't ignore. Stripping is definitely seen as a seedy and humiliating job in our culture. Whether you believe that as well or not, if you have higher pursuits/aren't confused/don't need help, you're probably going to get a different job, one that doesn't hinder your goals. That alone makes it more likely for the personality of a stripper to be disconcerting.
These are likelihoods, of course. These are reasons you would be suspicious, even if they are not absolute truths. The other thing, which is perhaps selfish, is that you want to be made to feel special, and her dancing with the explicit purpose of arousing other men might make you feel less special. People might cloud that in moral talk, but if you take out the 'this is absolutely wrong' and change it to 'this makes me feel bad' it's pretty reasonable.
On February 05 2012 00:46 Paperplane wrote:
How can something be a favor if you paid for it?
Favour has more than one meaning. It can mean something you do out of good will, or it can mean something closer to 'favourite' in which you choose someone ahead of others. So money in exchange for sexual favours means you've bought the favour of her sexual acts... which in many cultures are supposed to be devoted to someone special, hence, favour.
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I have dated a stripper. She was kinda stupid. She was hot, but kinda stupid. But damn, was she hot. And very open about trying out whatever I wanted sexually. But kinda stupid. She had a HUGE bouncer to beat the crap out of any guy that got too frisky with her. No touching rule is awesome. The bottom line - everyone who has a smoking hot girlfriend is used to the fact that every man around that isn't gay wants to have sex with her. It's even kind of a turn on as Sheldon explains here. If you're open minded, you shouldn't have a problem with that.
Just remember the golden rule: once a cheater, always a cheater. The fact that she's a stripper doesn't mean she is, you just need to be more careful about it.
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I think what important is not what she is doing but rather her view on what she is doing
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United States996 Posts
you live in lv right? if she works at rhino yes. treasures maybe. sapphires or any other place probably never
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EPT
