EPThttp://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=63
something you can rely on....yourself
I have no friends, and I'm depressed. - Page 3
| Blogs > Azera |
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FFGenerations
7088 Posts
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=63 something you can rely on....yourself | ||
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Erasme
Bahamas15899 Posts
Now you know that lying to make yourself better is always stupid because truth always shows up (dat bitch tt) | ||
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Chaosvuistje
Netherlands2581 Posts
I think most of us can agree that High School is pretty shitty when you're in it. | ||
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UmbraaeternuS
Chile476 Posts
Don't be too hard on yourself. You're so young, friends come and go, you never know when life will put a true good friend around the corner. Smile, don't overthink your issues too much and move on. You'll see how things get better. | ||
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Mr.Rager
United States59 Posts
On January 22 2012 23:50 Azera wrote: Not when my schoolmates here don't appreciate that sort of thing. They don't like to be told to pay attention in close and keep quiet because their ramblings are distracting me. Then tell them to screw themselves and if they don't want to pay attention they can go somewhere else because they obviously don't give a shit. Seriously those kinds of people piss me off; I'm near exactly like you man. Find people who share the same interests as you and...(generally you don't have to do this) but learn to live a little, make jokes, laugh, and show humanity. People don't wanna be friends with a robot. Sorry that I have to be the person to tell you this. | ||
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MutantGenepool
Australia115 Posts
First; Give up being student councillor. It alienates you from the other students. The best way to make friends is to have something in common. You like SC2. Start up an eSport club at school. Make a nice poster and stick it up at the notice boards. Get permission from the teachers first, and ask them for help. Even ask them to watch Day[9]'s #100 vid. This is a very good video in the way that it shows the importance of support from parents and teachers in the eSports industry and how successful an eCaster can be. You've sent the girl an apology, now forget it and move forward. | ||
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unichan
United States4223 Posts
sorry for hijacking your thread but i needed somewhere to say this and figured you could sympathize since you're having troubles with your family and seem to be lonely too (sorry if i'm wrong about this), and most people who know me won't see this :> | ||
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MrStorkie
United Kingdom697 Posts
You might ask what got me so much negative attention and although it's one hell of a long story, I'll cut right to the chase and give u a one sentence summery. I called my English teacher back then a whore/prostitute and her child a bastard. Needless to say, she wasn't too pleased with it and made a massive deal out of it. How massive? Think public caning and humiliation, 2000 lines of 'I'm sorry teacher, I will not do this ever again. Please forgive me. bla bla bla (it was a long line... about the width of 2 A4 paper)". I couldn't finish 2000 lines in one night, (but come on, who could!?), so she doubled it and it became 3294 lines. My friends left me. The very sight of me meant trouble to them and my final year at my primary school was plagued with horrible memories. I got through the final exams with straight A's (yes I'm asian) and proceeded to move on to secondary school. Here I thought I'd start fresh. I went to a totally different school from most of my primary schoolmates and I was relatively unknown here. I thought I had a second chance. I was very low profile for quite some time until I got pretty close with one of girls from my class. What happened then was a guy was maybe jealous about our relationship (i think) and he started spreading rumours about me and people who knew my story back from primary school jumped right onto the bandwagon and started badmouthing me again. It was another period of sadness and loneliness. It was tough to say the least, but I didn't whine about it, nor did I do horrible things back to them. I took it all in silently and waited. I knew all of this will pass (at least I hoped so back then). Fast forward few years, I was very active in school - always participating in school events, signed up for clubs/societies that I think I might develop a passion for, joined the school prefectorial board etc. I kept myself busy and I always try to widen my social circle. By this time I was no longer being ostracised. I was the person that people would go to if they needed advice partly because I'm a good listener and also because I have had my own rough times before and I could symphatise with their current situation. Eventually I was elected as school head prefect, got into key positions in various clubs/societies like boy scouts, editorial board etc. Fast forward another few years, I got through college, uni, now working. I had some up's and down's again but I'm not going to go into that since you're only 15. I was ostracised again during my first year in uni.. maybe i'm just not the kind of person who gives out a good first impression I guess.. I still need to work on that. But the drama and the crazy things people would do in uni... just wait till you get to that period of your life! Fun times =)) My advice for you is just to weather through it! Things are going to change drastically when you're growing up, especially if you're trying hard to change for the better too! You recognised that your shit talking is causing you trouble. That's a very good start! Get something constructive going! Pick up a hobby/sport! Instead of talking shit about the girl being your girlfriend, go get a girlfriend for real and brag about it! I know you'll manage. GLHF! | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
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faust_ix
Singapore15 Posts
Hang in there kid- remember that things always get better. | ||
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Ushio
Canada868 Posts
On January 22 2012 23:43 Azera wrote: I realize that high school friends may not last forever, but I have nobody to talk to other than my dad, and he's just... That feeling when I go to bed at night and just think about how lonely I actually am... it just gets me down, and I'll just quietly weep until I fall asleep. Holy crap what a shitstorm, are you...an emo? | ||
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acrimoneyius
United States983 Posts
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phiinix
United States1169 Posts
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HaiiTomm
United Kingdom12 Posts
In all seriousness though: You'll stay in contact with 1 or 2 school friends once highschool's over. Afterwards, it's up to you to make new friends. They pop up in the most unlikely of places. Keep this in mind: An acquaintance is a potential friend. | ||
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-stOpSKY-
Canada498 Posts
You lying online too? :o | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
I really appreciate that you would offer your valuable time to hang out with me, but don't you think that would be weird? I mean, a 15 year old boy and a 22 year old woman? Haha, that's not for me to judge though, I don't know anything about "hanging out" etiquette. My CCA is NCC (National Cadet Corps), and I absolutely detest it. I'm not sure why I joined, but I managed to endure it for the past few years. I can't really quit now, because I'll lose all my CCA points (If I get good points, my total O level results will decrease by 2 points I think). My sub-CCA is digital journalism where I write articles for the school's online newspaper. I haven't written anything yet because I just joined during November last year when I was prepping for exams. I'm doing pure chem and bio now (7 subjects). I didn't get Literature like I wanted to because physiscs in the science exam last year really screwed me over =( Cool pictures btw, emphasis on the resurrection stone. I finished reading the Harry Potter series when I was 12 I think. My hobbies, coincidentally, are gaming and music too. Gaming is obviously mostly SC2, and I actually wrote a guide once. I listen to a lot of music as well. My favourite band is Queen, and I listen to the Beatles, Pink Floyd, and many others. However, I listen to classical music mostly, with Tchaikovsky being my favourite composer. | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
On January 23 2012 02:18 Clazziquai10 wrote: Yo. Fellow Singaporean here. You're 15 and you're friendless? BIG DEAL. I'm freaking 19 and I'm friendless. I got teased a lot in primary school cos I was fat. The fact that I was naturally introverted didn't exactly help my cause. Many people shunned me cos of my *bad reputation* and I had no friends as a result. So guess what? I turned to studies. MUGGING HARD. And guess what? BOOM 252 FOR PSLE TAKE THAT BITCHES! So I managed to get into a pretty *elite* secondary school and fortunately my primary school wasnt that good so pretty much no one else went to the same sec school as me. WOOHOO!! EXCELLENT. A FANTASTIC CHANCE to start anew in a fresh environment right? On a clean slate? WRONG. Turns out that most of those in my sec school were from elite primary schools, and those from the same elite primary schools formed cliques. So I was in a really cliquish environment and my introvertness which had worsened during my terrible primary school years fucked me up even more in terms of friendships. I remember a history class project in secondary 2 in which we had to form groups on our own autonomously and everyone else had a group. EXCEPT ME. LOLOL. In the end I had to do the project myself since no one would take me in hahah. So once again i focused on studies (and secretly brood war/CS heheheh). YAY 8 A1s for O'LEVELS! So once again i got into an elite JC. Same old story as my secondary school. Thought I could start anew - failed at making friends because of poor social skills and got made fun of cos I'm FREAKING short (I'm 1.6m). Did pretty well at A'levels. Straight As. So what? My relatives think I'm FREAKING IMBA cos of my studies when in actual fact I'm just a loner with utterly no friends whose only saving grace is good grades. 40-year-old virgin INCOMING. HELL YEA. Enough of my rant. You're 15 and still in sec 3/4. U still got JC/Poly, NS and possibly University ahead of u and u'll have many chances to make friends and guess what - chances are u probably won't run into that girl again. P.S. Pretty sure every one of us have done/said something stupid at some point in our lives. I've pranked called a girl who insulted me in JC and she found out! lolol. P.P.S. ALL THE BEST AND GLHF GG IN YOUR LIFE AHEAD MAN!! But you're so smart =( I'm just average | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
On January 23 2012 02:24 mrGRAPE wrote: Wow Kelly (OXW?), it was a nice read. Fellow SG here - I can understand how you feel Azera, I used to lie a lot when I was younger, mostly get to attention from my friends and parents (attention seeker alert). I mean, if the main focus of your life was to get GOOD GRADES, TOP SCORER, OUTSTANDING ACHIEVER, wouldn't you feel that you needed something else - something no one else has/knows/done before to validate your life as well? I did that well into my Uni years where I almost completedly screwed over my relationship because I started it off with a few stupid and unnecessary lies. The point is, once you realise that actually none of all this matters in the long run, you'll learn to not give two shits about making something up just to seem like you're awesome/cool/whatever. Why waste energy and time making things up and then finding ways to cover it up? Why not BE awesome/cool/whatever? I realised that lie after lie, it just gets harder and harder to piece all the half-truths, quarter-truths and no-truths up that it just gets SO tiring to maintain this fairytale image that everyone has of me (you etc) so the best thing to do that gives the highest payoff and utility is to tell the truth as much as possible. What you should be spending time on is not making new lies to cover up old ones, but channeling it into something you love doing. If you love to play SC2, why not consider doing it really good? The eSports scene in Singapore is changing (albeit reaaaaaaally slow), it was way different from when I was 15 (I'm 24 now). There are organisations in SG that dedicate to sending pro-gamers all over the world (yes, even I find that hard to believe) such as SCOGA/ so you'll definitely stand a chance to be noticed. ---note--- Half way through typing all that I seemed to have absolutely lost my train of thought, partly due to my most awesome steamboat dinner and because it's 1:22AM and I'm watching IEM semis as well at the same time. So if it seems like I'm rambling and make no sense, TL;DR Don't Lie - Tell the Truth. If you want to be something, then go ahead and BE, don't just talk about it. Forget the girl, you'll find new ones anywayyyyyyyy GLHF Thanks for the heads-up. I want to get better in my studies and in SC2, but it's really draining for me to try and study because sometimes I just get distracted/bored. Typical student problem I know, but any remedies?  | ||
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Azera
3800 Posts
On January 23 2012 02:24 EienShinwa wrote: Let go of all your pride, dignity, and just put yourself out there. First thing is to get rid of your sense of unworthiness. You are not unworthy. It's just that there are people in the world that you will feel comfortable with and people you won't. Just put yourself out there as who you are, and let go of all of your worthless arrogance, self righteous pride, and shame. What I'm telling you is not to be someone's little b, but to show that you have your faults and wrongs as do everyone else, but not afraid to show them and tell everyone "Look, this is who I am and I want to know who you are." On January 23 2012 02:45 THE_DOMINATOR wrote: Choose to live or choose to die. Choose to be a victim or choose to be the hero. People aren't as valuable as you think. Thanks, but sometimes it just seems that I come off as a pathetic idiot. Anybody who I talk to and come off as friendly I immediately "drone" them and try to be as "close" to them as possible. =( Too desperate to make friends it seems. Not to mention that once they know about me they'll talk about me to their friends and all the shit that I made up will be heard and blah blah blah forever the school loser. | ||
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igotmyown
United States4291 Posts
the other is being uncomfortable, trying too hard: sorry, no simple answers there. --- the first is if you mess up and doing something like lie: here's advice i would have loved to have given myself when I was younger: don't be so hard on yourself. You don't have to handle everything perfectly, or even try to. You haven't reached some ultimate state of (social) perfection, so if you mess up, you're still going to figure things out and get better. Unfortunately this is exactly the opposite of the attitude engendered by hard-driving, 99 on tests isn't good enough parents. And since you've hopefully now accepted the fact that you'll make mistakes, learn to feel comfortable apologizing. Apologizing sometimes feels like an "accept your punishment" type trap from gleefully authoritarian superiors, but for most friends and equals, they just have no idea how you feel or why you did things. You'd be surprised how well honestly apologizing clears things up. It's one thing to hate someone who lied to you. It's another to hate someone who lied to you because they were afraid you wouldn't like them. And if they still hate you because you are an imperfect 15 year old who makes mistakes, then at least you know you're not the one with the true problem. | ||
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