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wouldn't be fussed about such futilities.
(had a 5 year long relationship)
She doesn't really need to discuss such things with you honestly & if you think she does then you're doing it wrong. Unless you're living together & whatnot then she should probably discuss such things with you but... you've been together for a year, i mean really, a year & already complaining about her not discussing things with you.. Keep it up & you'll be single sooner than later.
oh & don't ban people from your blogs for expressing their opinions on your blogs, it just makes you look rather childish & incapable of dealing with harsh opinions towards you & your views.
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On January 18 2012 01:49 Brees wrote:Show nested quote +On January 17 2012 22:48 KeksX wrote:On January 17 2012 22:32 Brees wrote:On January 17 2012 21:36 Brett wrote:On January 17 2012 21:31 Cr4zyH0r5e wrote:
lol wut?
You're asking her to ditch people she grew up with and known her whole life to go out with you 1 more night when you already have plans to go away for the next weekend.
Also, you're neither married nor buying a house. She doesn't need to ask you to make calls about her own life.
Thanks, but you should probably learn to read. nope this is pretty much the perfect response. instead of making some dumbass response how about you elaborate on why you think this is incorrect Dude please stop this. You are wrong and you can read up for yourself why. explain then, i just read the post again and this remains the perfect response.
He wasn't upset, he wasn't bothered with it and said "I think this is wrong", he was not looking to "justify his upsetness".
He was not asking her to ditch others, he didn't say that she should ask himto make calls about her own life.
Everything Cr4zy0r5e did was assuming. Thats not the perfect response.
The perfect response is something like this:
"I don't think she's in the wrong, it's good that you didn't say anything about it. The reaction of your friends and family is not justified."
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How did you even last a year?
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Marshall Islands3404 Posts
1. no where in the post does the original post state that the OP is "upset or bothered"
2. he specifically states in the OP that he was annoyed and disappointed at first so this implies that he thinks he is more important then her family for some reason
3. he's questioning something that has nothing to do with his life besides a stupid anniversary that is purely of sentimental value. So yea once again, she doesn't need his input on how she is going to spend her day to day life.
4. the fact that they are going to be together the entire weekend is just the icing on the cake that makes the OP hard to merit a response more polite then what was stated.
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From what you said, she did discuss it with you. You said she mentioned that her sister will be coming home the same day as your anniversary, and so she wouldn't be able to spend it with you. Although understandable, you shouldn't be annoyed that she made a choice without discussing it with you. She shouldn't have to discuss every choice with you before she makes it, especially if it has to do with her family. Regardless of how small the event may be, it's still family. If you are serious about her, then that is the choice you should want her to make. It's fine to feel disappointed, but in the long run, you'll appreciate that she has priorities.
You can take consolation in the fact that, you can still celebrate it on the weekend as you planned a weekend together. If it means that much to you, celebrate the day after or send flowers on the day of. You assumed that you'd be spending your anniversary day with her, assumed it is as important to her as it is to you, and now you're assuming that nothing can be done. I'd say show some initiative and do what you can and do it because you want to, and not because you assumed it's "normal". Don't go over the top and respect her decision.
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On January 17 2012 21:09 Rekrul wrote:
you should be thankful
thread solved
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On January 17 2012 21:09 Rekrul wrote:
you should be thankful
rofl, yes saved from pointless obligations. don't let the opinions of others inject doubt into your own mind, just let it be
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On January 18 2012 02:42 scMellOw wrote:
wouldn't be fussed about such futilities.
(had a 5 year long relationship)
She doesn't really need to discuss such things with you honestly & if you think she does then you're doing it wrong. Unless you're living together & whatnot then she should probably discuss such things with you but... you've been together for a year, i mean really, a year & already complaining about her not discussing things with you.. Keep it up & you'll be single sooner than later.
oh & don't ban people from your blogs for expressing their opinions on your blogs, it just makes you look rather childish & incapable of dealing with harsh opinions towards you & your views.
I ban people from this blog for not actually reading what I've writtenly properly, and making stupid assumptions. It's my blog, and here, I can remove posters from access. Besides nobody is obligated to post here.
I disagree with you on whether she should discuss stuff like this, because I don't believe that some arbitrary time comes when certain 'standards' kick in for the relationship. Is it critical to me? No. Like I said, I didn't make an issue of this. WHich you'd know if you'd read the whole thread.
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i wouldn't mind at all. we barely congratulate birthdays to each other, anniversaries go by with a "hey look its our anniversary LOL" at around 9 pm. they're just like any other days, and we both don't give significance to one out of 365, we give much more significance to the ones we can spend together and do stuff, or not do stuff, or support one another etc, and there are lots more of those yearly.
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On January 17 2012 23:55 Barrin wrote:
This means next to nothing, and not letting it affect you (honestly simply talking about it with other people than her is a sign that it does affect you).
The best thing to do here is the masculine thing: not give a shit.
How do you even reason to your conclusion?
There was a discussion -> He must have brought it up
?
The only reason I brought it up here is that I was surprised that my fam/friends were more agitated than I was. So I came here for further opinion. Turns out, most people are similar to me in that they didn't think it was a big deal. Despite this, some people decide to jump on my words like 'surprise' and 'a bit annoyed' and go all Dr Phil on me to say that I'm being emotional, a girl, or whatever. If I need to simplify the thought process, it was
"Not doing something? Oh ok, hmm, would have been nice to have been asked whether we were doing something first. Oh well, back to HIMYM". Done.
Then it comes up in conversation and everyone is like "Oh really? WTH, her sister has only been gone a month. Did she ask you to go with them at least? blah blah"
My thought process was not that of my fam/friends, nor that assumed by many people in this blog. I don't know how I can make it more simple than that.
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On January 18 2012 00:44 KOFgokuon wrote:
I'm mainly amused that you're being the girl in the relationship
Should she have discussed with you? yes. Should you talk to her about this afterwards? yes. Should you make a bigger deal about it than that? no
Prime example. Where have I made a big deal about it with her? lol
Jesus, people.
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Whoever told you it was a big deal deserves a slap. Stop asking for advice on how to talk to/interact with your gf on the internet, period. Talk about it with her if you have a problem , and if you dont (as you claim) then ignore other people trying to tell you you should have a problem with it. Its your decision wether its okay or not and not your friends' /families'
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mm; naw dont be mad
i was waiting for a kicker like.. then she cheated on you.. but nothing like that.
anyway; month or not; its family first.
if i was her shoes, and my gf or bf got mad at me for something like that.. i was kinda be like.. wtf? thats a red flag. if youre gonna get mad at something like that.. who knows what other small stuff will tick you off..
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United States5162 Posts
On January 18 2012 05:43 Brett wrote:Show nested quote +On January 18 2012 00:44 KOFgokuon wrote:
I'm mainly amused that you're being the girl in the relationship
Should she have discussed with you? yes. Should you talk to her about this afterwards? yes. Should you make a bigger deal about it than that? no Prime example. Where have I made a big deal about it with her? lol Jesus, people.
The fact that you posted it in the first place insinuates it matters to you. Most guys wouldn't have a second thought, let alone make a blog. Also your title, which despite being a question, comes off as rhetorical.
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Whether you like it or not you are her bf and have been together a year. Really nothing that special. If you were married it would probably be a deal on some lvl. What you need to understand is that any sister that has a good relationship would still be closer than you, you have been around for a year she has been there forever. If she actually favored you over her sister I would say she was doing something wrong. People put too much importance on there gf or bf as a general rule these days. Until you are married take it easy and understand that family will probably take first in line of importance. Btw I have been married for 4 years now and have a great relationship with both my wife and her family so I am not some high-school scrub.
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Your response should have been, "too bad, I was planning to get you a really nice present!"
Then tell her that since she's busy that day you made plans to get together with your ex "to catch up".
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On January 18 2012 07:34 ziggurat wrote:
Your response should have been, "too bad, I was planning to get you a really nice present!"
Then tell her that since she's busy that day you made plans to get together with your ex "to catch up".
That ends the relationship.... pretty fast! But that was not his intention IIRC. XD
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You shouldn't be mad, no way. Just so long as you guys get to celebrate somehow, the actual day doesn't matter. It's her sister who she'll have for her entire life, and you may or may not be.
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i feel like over thinking the situation is a dangerous thing to do, they are sisters and have been friends their entire life, and most guys will never understand the bond between two sisters. Ive been with my gf for over 3 years and admittedly it still bothers me to some extent when my gf choose her sister over me, esp for some of the crazy things that her sister asks of her.
but thats not the point, just think about the outcomes, what will being mad at her achieve? what will happen is you delay you anniversary
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I would be fine with it, I mean the day itself is of little significance, you day is just that, a day, what you guys are celebrating is the fact you have been together for a year, and its the celebration that counts. Its like when you have a birthday 3 days after your birthday because its more convenient. I wouldnt worry about it. If she blew off the entire celebration, I wouldnt be too happy.
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EPT
