EPTYesterday morning, January 16th, my great grandmother passed away peacefully while sleeping. While I'm back in Maine, and not in Florida, I've had contact with my dad who lives in Florida. Having never been through the death of a family member that I knew, this is a new phenomenon.
While my great grandmother and I weren't ever "close," I knew her, and I visited her house a lot with my dad, while they all still lived in Maine. I have come to realize just how amazing of a thing death really is, not exactly in a good way.
In a way, death was a good thing for my great grandmother. While I am not certain of exact medical terms and causes, or whatever, she has been losing her mind for years. She started losing her memory in 2009, and life sort of just went on. Yeah, it sucked, but what can you do? As is, I'm assuming, usual with these things, it got worst. Since my great grandparents always come to Maine for the summer, they made this past summer no exception. However, my grandmother, who quit her job in 2009 to care for them, had to come to Maine to take care of them.
As with stubborn elderly folks, there was a fair amount of stubbornness, but life went on.
I have never been an overly religious person, but one begins to wonder the timing of all things, and whether or not there was some sort of "influence from above." When she had her stroke, and fell and broke her hip, all of her ducks were in a row, pardon the saying. Since she and my dad have always been closeish~, she obviously cared very much for him.
My dad went through a terrible, horrible experience with a russian mail order bride. Please spare the jokes, I've forgiven him and moved on for the shit that he put me through for that woman. All the jokes have been said, and honestly have no place in this blog. I also refuse to go into details over this subject. End of story. I only mention it because of it's relevancy.
As I said, my father went through a terrible ordeal where his pride, his heart, his everything was squished. He was lonely, cold, bitter, living 1700 miles from any of his friends. He also has a job that he hates, but has to keep. It also hasn't helped that he has been on the wrong meds for years, consequentially ending a lot of relationships, and most probably his marriage to my mother.
Being the extremely caring and forgiving person that I am, I agreed to spend the summer with him. One of the things that he wanted from me was to attempt to get a job, and I agreed, though it was never my intent. My intent was to be there for my father, and try to help him, even though he royally fucked me.
Soon after I left after an exceedingly long summer, he met Denise. Denise has been AMAZING on him. While I was down in Florida a few weeks ago, visiting and meeting Denise + her family, he shared with me just how amazing she is for him. He repeatedly told me that she just doesn't want any part in any of the fighting, any of the treating each other like shit, any of the arguing. They are both in that relationship for a purpose, and damnit, they will fulfill that purpose. He said he kept waiting for her to show her mean side, but she never did. Hell, I don't think she has one.
Anyway, continuing on with her ducks being in a row. Since my great grandparents have always cared for my dad, they were both extremely thrilled that he has found someone to make him, and keep him happy, while he can hopefully do the same.
Another duck in a row, I think, was that I was down to visit. Though it my sound conceited or spoiled or selfish, I don't give a fuck, I honestly think that I had something to do with it, or at least a continuation on my father being happy. Many people have told me how happy my dad was that I decided to come down and visit, or take up his offer.
Though I don't exactly feel this way, I suppose I could be the "ambassador from the Maine family." I don't know it's just a thought.
My uncle used to be a totally cracked up man-whore. He hit rock, rock bottom. As it is, he is 41 years old, and living with his mother. That's how low he went. However, much to his credit, he is getting his shit straight. I can't help but think that it might be another sign.
While that certainly isn't everything there is to say, I really have to try and sleep. I have to be up in 5 and a half hours for school, and this thing with my great grandmother has really gotten to me, making sleep near impossible, hence this blog.
In closing, I leave you with the words of a 17 year old going through his first death of a family member. Don't waste your life. Live it to the fullest, because life is precious and you won't ever get your wasted time back.
R.I.P. Barbara Shirley Dillingham Snowe. You will be greatly missed. We love you. March 18, 1919 to January 16, 2012! Married for 72 years.
